ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

"When you can’t talk about your sex life there’s a connection that the two of you are missing out on." —Anonymous The world that you live in is hypersexualized and yet couples struggle with talking about their sex life with each other. How-to talk about sex is everywhere... it's on TV, on magazine covers, right here on the internet, with your friends but, when couples are asked if they are talking about sex the answer more often than not is "no". As a spouse in a committed relationship you may experience these thoughts: I don’t even know what I want. I’m not comfortable asking for what I want. What if my spouse says no. Our marriage already has enough rejection. My parents never talked about sex why should we. I don’t know how to start the conversation. These thoughts are swirling around your head as you think about having a deeper sexual experience. The thing is there is no way for your spouse to meet your needs sexually if you won’t tell them. Just because you don’t know how to do something doesn’t mean that silence or avoiding it is the best remedy. These emotions of fear, frustration and rejection can, over time create a huge amount of distance or disconnect in your marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do to overcome the challenge of not talking about your sex life so that you can try something new. EPISODE SPONSOR | HelloFresh HelloFresh is the meal kit delivery service that makes cooking fun, easy, and convenient! Each week HelloFresh creates new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to take around 30 minutes. For novices to seasoned home-cooks who are short on time HelloFresh sources the freshest ingredients, measured to the exact quantities needed so there’s no food waste.  Take $35 off your first week of deliveries when you enter promo code OEM. Other Resources: 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"The moment when he rolls over, puts his arm around me and pulls me closer, in his sleep. I like that." —Country Thang Many marriages are suffering from some lack of connection. Often it’s due to our busy schedules and the commitments that keep us running around like crazy. Maybe it’s the kids or your parents who have you running around. Work, volunteering and keeping the house inside and out add a lot to your plate. Then the end of the day comes and all you want to do is veg out. Not just from the world but also from each other. And when couples stops going to bed with each other they miss out on that chance for connection. You miss out on: Cuddling before falling asleep. Conversations that happen in the quiet of your bedroom away from the kids. Random spooning in the middle of the night. Spontaneous sex because the two of you are in the same place at the same time and the door is already locked. Early morning snuggles when your hair is a mess and you have your sleepy face. You and your spouse are desperate for connection and yet you choosing to miss out on this time that you simply cannot get back. Being together in the same bed is all about non-verbal communication. It’s about being together. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the impact that going to bed together has on your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Total Package With so many couples struggling with how or when to make sexual intimacy happen it’s time to take the guess work out of wondering when you are going to get some. This package includes the 7 Days of Sex Challenge ebook, audiobook and kindle versions along with 4 bonuses. Get your 7 Days of Sex Challenge Total Package TODAY! Other Resources: 6 Benefits of Cuddling With Your Spouse Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Sex solves most problems including headaches." —Anonymous You have a crazy headache, while on vacation, with plans to have sex, on the only night you have away from your kids. You take a nice nap to see if that would take care of it and it didn’t. You still have a headache. You're still in the hotel room you booked. And... you still have a spouse with the expectation that this is your opportunity for sex. What if having sex during this time will help your headache go away? Most of the times it's used as an excuse, an obstacle or a form of rejection. The next time you are about to say, "Not tonight, I have a headache", what if you said, "Yes, tonight! I want to get rid of this headache." What if an orgasm could relieve the pain of your headache? What if when you're not feeling well you could turn to your spouse for comfort instead of pushing them away? What if sex became the treatment to embrace instead of the action to avoid? In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about changing your mindset from “I can't have sex because I have a headache to let's have sexual because I have a headache.” EPISODE SPONSOR | 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom Discover a hit-list of all the top items we’ve used in the last 20 years of marriage to ignite intimacy, connection and comfort in the most important room of all — the bedroom! Use this list to take this show and the ideas in it to the next level as you build your toolbox with resources to make awake sex even more extraordinary. Get 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom NOW! Other Resources: Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"In life it’s not where you go, it’s who you travel with.” —Charlie Schultz There are times when your vacations don’t always go as planned. You have your expectations for everything. From how relaxing it’s going to be to how often the two of you are going to have sex. You think about the adventures you are going to go on, the shows you will see, the relaxing you are going to do and the money you will spend during your trip. And then, you have instances like we have had on our last couple of vacations where we have discussed the sex part but no expectations about anything else. When you go on vacation with expectations that you don’t share with your spouses or you don't have a plan for high stress situations on vacation then the wheels can fall off of a good vacation. Been there, done that! You find yourself remembering the drama instead of the good times. That’s not why you go on vacation. You're not looking for more drama, you want to have an amazing time with your spouse and enjoy this time together. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about communicating to each other those vacation expectations you have so you experience the best travel possible. EPISODE SPONSOR | Connect Like You Did When You First Met — Free Softcover Book Hidden inside this book you’ll discover how to have fun, deep and meaningful conversations so you can connect with you spouse again. Get started on your emotional intimacy journey with your own softcover copy of Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couple PLUS 4 digital bonuses. Limited quantities available so get yours today. Other Resources: Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa 178: Sexpectations 334: The Emasculated Man 335: She’s Not Your Mother Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Let’s cuddle so that I can steal your body heat.” —Anonymous There are different reasons and times of the year when your bedroom is cold. It could be winter time, the air conditioning is on to beat the summer heat or your bedroom is in a cool part of your home. On the other hand one of you may run colder than the other. (We live this in our marriage.) When you are cold it makes heating things up in the bedroom a challenge. Let's face it... It’s tough to be naked when you are cold. It's difficult to be adventurous when you are freezing. There can be a serious disconnect in the bedroom when it comes to temperature. But how are going to heat up the bedroom so you can heat things up under the sheets? What can you do to create an environment where you want to be naked with one another, a place where you are comfortable being naked because you aren’t freezing? It's time to find different ways to heat up your bedroom. When you do you will begin to eliminate the excuses so that you can heat up your physically and sexually intimacy during those cold nights. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of heating things up in the bedroom when it’s cold outside for more enjoyment under the covers. EPISODE SPONSOR | 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom Discover a hit-list of all the top items we’ve used in the last 20 years of marriage to ignite intimacy, connection and comfort in the most important room of all -- the bedroom! Use this list to take this show and the ideas in it to the next level as you build your toolbox with resources to make awake sex even more extraordinary. Get 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom NOW! Other Resources: Top 10 Ways To Initiate Sex With Your Spouse TONIGHT 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Quilted Polyester Heated Mattress Pad Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul.” —Anonymous Spiritual intimacy has a huge impact on you and your marriage. And yet it’s the one intimacy that often gets overlooked or minimized even though it’s just as important if not more so than the others. In our marriage there have been seasons when we are clicking in our spiritual intimacy and times when we experience a dryness. The same may happen in your marriage. It can be with your emotional intimacy, your physical intimacy as well as in your spiritual intimacy. At those times when there is a disconnect it's time to get on your knees in prayer. You gain a different perspective on your situation. The challenge of trying to figure everything out on your own gets unstuck. New ideas for growing spiritually begin to happen. Prayers that are seemingly unanswered are answered. Those questions about your faith get unlocked. Often it's the starting that keeps you from the spiritual intimacy you desire. You see other who are amazing prayer warriors so how could you be like them. This stops you dead in your tracks and yet you can become a prayer warrior. You and your spouse can experience the closeness that comes through prayer, but you have to put your knees on the floor. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what can happen to you when you are on your knees praying for your marriage and your spouse. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Bundle Sometimes it can be hard to think of what to get your love... chocolates, lingerie, a night out. Each of these are great choices and yet what about something truly unique this year? What about something that extends Valentine’s Day beyond one day? Get the 7 Days of Sex Challenge Bundle NOW! Other Resources: Download The Intimacy Wheel Now C3 San Diego Emerge Conference Night Light: A Devotional for Couples Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Money is an opportunity to reach unity in marriage. When couples work together they can do anything." —Dave Ramsey You have probably heard the quote, "You should never talk about money, politics or religion." Now, this might be true if you are at a dinner party and yet... You are taking this stance when it comes to money in your marriage. There is no connection, discussion, or even a conversation about your money. If you are honest with yourselves there is no plan for your money. Without a plan or even conversations about money matters you feel stressed, have anxiety and live in a place of fear. No matter if you are: Newlyweds. New parents. Buying a house. In a job transition. College planning. Looking at retirement. Having to deal with medical needs. Your money matters and needs the two of you to have a plan for it. Right now you may be in crisis and need an immediate plan. Let's get started now so you can experience financial freedom. Maybe you are ready to go to the next level, now is the time for you to be thinking about those advisors and planners that you need to have in your life Hopefully you are doing great and are thinking about what's next? It's time to discuss how can we be a blessing to others with what we have received. At each level being intentional is a game changer. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the power that financial intimacy has to bring strength and unity to your marriage. Your money matters impact each area of intimacy. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Bundle Sometimes it can be hard to think of what to get your love... chocolates, lingerie, a night out. Each of these are great choices and yet what about something truly unique this year? What about something that extends Valentine’s Day beyond one day? Get the 7 Days of Sex Challenge Bundle NOW! Other Resources: Download The Intimacy Wheel Now Oils and Intimacy Facebook Group Financial Peace University Our Family Emergency List Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"So many people hear the words physical intimacy and think about sex. There are so many layers to being physically intimate with your spouse, choosing just one aspect shortchanges both of you." —Anonymous Touch is so important and yet touch in any form may be absent or inconsequential in your marriage at this time. This absence of touch or in the quality of the touch, leads to a feeling of being unwanted, unseen, undesired. It’s interesting that touch is often one of the first ways that you begin to express your interest in your spouse when you first met. Then you  start your lives together and before you know it touch is one of the first things to go. The most obvious absence of physical intimacy is a lack of sex. But it’s more than that. Right now you may be struggling with little to no physical intimacy of any form (hugs, kisses, cuddling, holding hands, etc). Without touch, without physical intimacy your marriage can feel like a relationship of roommates. It can feel like you are just sharing the same house and the same responsibilities but really have nothing that would differentiate yourselves as a married couple. The two of you need touch. Your bodies were designed for it. You were designed to fit together. You have to create opportunities to connect and you have to be intentional about doing so. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about why physical touch is an important area of connection for you and your spouse. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Bundle Sometimes it can be hard to think of what to get your love... chocolates, lingerie, a night out. Each of these are great choices and yet what about something truly unique this year? What about something that extends Valentine’s Day beyond one day? Get the 7 Days of Sex Challenge Bundle NOW! Other Resources: Download The Intimacy Wheel Now Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"You define what is important to you by who you spend your time with." —Anonymous When you were dating there was no shortage of things to do or ways that you wanted to spend your time together. No matter where you were or what time of day it was you got creative. You would pick up on the smallest comments and run with it, turning that comment into an incredible adventure you would do together. And then... You begin living together, jobs, bills, volunteering and kids take up time you once had together. Date nights were the same every time and you both lost the excitement and anticipation of a fun time together. It's time for you to stop asking "What do you want to do?" when you are heading out on a date. Your marriage needs connection. As you plan out your dates this year: It’s about spending time together building memories. Learning what the other likes as interests change over time. It’s about getting out of your comfort zone. It’s about trying new things. Put yourself in your spouse’s world. Laugh. Overcoming fear. It's time to build a vibrant marriage instead of tolerating a stale one. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about how to answer that timeless question of what do we do together. EPISODE SPONSOR | Connect Like You Did When You First Met — Free Softcover Book Hidden inside this book you’ll discover how to have fun, deep and meaningful conversations so you can connect with you spouse again. Get started on your emotional intimacy journey with your own softcover copy of Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couple PLUS 4 digital bonuses. Limited quantities available so get yours today. Other Resources: Download The Intimacy Wheel Now Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"When you forgive, you in no way change the past but you sure do change the future." —Bernard Meltzer The year started off with us discussing the importance of emotional intimacy in your marriage. This is how the two of you communicate and is the foundation for growth in the other five intimacies. How the two of you connect during both the good and tough times will make the difference. After last week's show we dealt with a tough time ourselves. There was a breakdown in emotional intimacy after the show that lead to distance and disconnect. What you do after the conflict can mean more than what happens during the conversation. Are you letting pride and ego stand in the way of you giving a sincere apology to your spouse? Is it an apology that you need to give? Or... Is it forgiveness that you need to ask for from your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the power an apology has on both of you when it comes to your emotional intimacy. EPISODE SPONSOR | HelloFresh HelloFresh is the meal kit delivery service that makes cooking fun, easy, and convenient! Each week HelloFresh creates new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to take around 30 minutes. For novices to seasoned home-cooks who are short on time HelloFresh sources the freshest ingredients, measured to the exact quantities needed so there’s no food waste.  Take $35 off your first week of deliveries when you enter promo code OEM. Other Resources: Download The Intimacy Wheel Now Connect Like You Did When You First Met -- Free Paperback Book Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices