ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

"Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." —Arnold Glasgow For the most part your day-to-day activities are ruled by your calendars, by schedules, and by alerts popping up on your phone. It doesn’t matter how you stay organized, the fact is that you have ways to keep your time organized and keep you moving to the next thing. And then... It comes to your sex life. You desire spontaneity and yet your life is ruled by schedules. Or you are waiting for the perfect moment, the perfect energy level, the perfect number of chores, obligations and to-dos to be done. Waiting for all of these things to line up will cause you to miss out on opportunities to connect with your spouse. Instead begin to look for those opportunities to be spontaneous within the structure of your marriage. You desire a quick encounter and be a spontaneous lover but then you are not on the same wavelength with your spouse. There is a yearning to have sex outside of your bedroom and yet you don’t always know how to make that happen so it doesn't. Many of us often fight against structure or planning because we feel like it’s going to take away from our freedom. In actuality the opposite is true. Why? Because if you know the framework, the starting line, then anything is possible. For example, many of you have heard us talk about The Intimacy Lifestyle. We have structure only in the way that the days of the week have been split up. That’s our starting line. The creativity comes in when we choose our own ways to initiate. So let the fun begin as you become a spontaneous lover. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about how you can have fun and excitement in your bedroom by being a spontaneous lover. EPISODE SPONSOR | Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus Marriage doesn't have to be so complicated. There is a manual on how to do this thing called "happily ever after."  In Called to Love you will be equipped to look at your spouse the way that Jesus does, take time to pray for your marriage instead of throwing up your hands and saying, "Heaven help me" and transform your relationship into what God intended for your marriage when the two of you became one. Grab your copy of Called to Love and the audio book bonus today. Other Resources: 21 Ways to Initiate Sex With Your Spouse 001: 60 Days of Sex Jinshi Bamboo Boxer Briefs Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness rather it is a sign of strength. It takes courage to let others into your world." —Anonymous As a couple you may be stuck. You may be stuck in the same routines. Maybe you're stuck in the same fights. Or you've noticed that your marriage is stuck in the same cycles. It’s as if every day is groundhog day. You wake up and the same day is repeated over and over again. This repetition in your marriage leads to feelings of boredom, discontentment and a lack of interest. Recently you’ve been asking yourself, "Is this is as good as it gets?" Well... If you are not willing to make a change it might be time. With a few tweaks you'd be amazed what could happen in your marriage. Here's the thing, to get something different you have to do something different. What are you willing to do in your marriage to experience a shift like never before? Where can you begin to change the environment in your marriage? How will stepping into a new habit impact what you do with your spouse? To get to extraordinary you need to stop waiting for your spouse to grow or change first and take the lead. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of taking action to create change in your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus Marriage doesn't have to be so complicated. There is a manual on how to do this thing called "happily ever after."  In Called to Love you will be equipped to look at your spouse the way that Jesus does, take time to pray for your marriage instead of throwing up your hands and saying, "Heaven help me" and transform your relationship into what God intended for your marriage when the two of you became one. Grab your copy of Called to Love and the audio book bonus today. Other Resources: The Intimacy Wheel 15 Ways to Romance Your Spouse Over the Next 30 Days Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Men who trust other men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them." —Camillo de Cavour When you think about your friendships as a kid and as an adult a few things stand out and the research is supporting this. During childhood both boys and girls have friends and often make deep friendships. From roughhousing on the playground to building with Legos, from competing on the sports field to running to winning the debate, there is a connection that boys have that as children often looks similar to girls. And then somewhere in those middle teenage years research says that the friendships boys have start to change. They don’t necessarily have that emotional connection, it’s not a place to be vulnerable and yet men need this as much as women. Think about the friends that each of you have. Maybe your friends are couple friends. You both share and hang out together on the weekends. Or the friends that you hang with are the husbands of your wives friends or the dads of your kids friends. Men need their own friends. Wives you can’t be everything for your husband. It’s not healthy for either of you. Husbands you need to hang out with men. Without deep, vulnerable friendships men live in a facade. They keep up the image at work, at home, everywhere and become more and more isolated. Truth is that men have the same emotional needs that women do, granted it looks different. Wives, you need to be encouraging your husband to grow strong, positive friendships with men who will encourage him to be a strong man and husband. Guys you need mentors and peers who will elevate who you are, who will provide you with that sounding board and understanding. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about why you as a man and husband need friends that will encourage, lift you up and support you through all seasons of life. EPISODE SPONSOR | Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus Transform your relationship into what God intended for your marriage when the two of you became one. Mark your calendars for April 4th because you’re not going to want to miss the release of Alisa's upcoming book, Called to Love. ONE Family sign up now as you will be receiving an extra special opportunity during the launch of the book. The finishing touches are happening to help you experience your best marriage. Get signed up today! Other Resources: Emerge Conference Maximized Manhood Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"We don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges." —Anonymous You want to last longer and yet most of the time you ejaculate quicker than you'd like. When you orgasm within 1-3 minutes of penetration this is general considered premature ejaculation. 20-30% of men (and their partners) are impacted by what is considered the most common type of male sexual dysfunction. Here’s the thing... you are not alone. 60% of US men feel that this is embarrassing which equate to roughly 77 million men who are feeling challenged in this area of sexual intimacy. 37% of women say that they are disappointed with their partner finishes before they do. Due to media messages of what’s normal 40% of men are feeling self conscious about their performance. That’s a lot of stress around one of the most intimate areas of your relationship. All of that stress is not making things any easier for either of you as the impact on marriage can be devastating. In many marriages the husband feels less than or inadequate. The wife is frustrated that there is so much focus on lasting longer and not so much focus on growing the relationship. He doesn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know what to say. Over time having sex become awkward and the two of you feel more disconnected. Without conversation around the topic it can truly become a wait and see place of nothingness in your marriage. Which often leads to nothing in the bedroom, also known as a sexless marriage. It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to stop talking when things aren’t going well. You also don’t have to feel helpless, like there’s nothing that you can do. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what both you and your spouse can do in the moment to help you last longer in bed. EPISODE SPONSOR | Called to Love: Experiencing Your Best Marriage Through the Words of Jesus Transform your relationship into what God intended for your marriage when the two of you became one. Mark your calendars for April 4th because you’re not going to want to miss the release of Alisa's upcoming book, Called to Love. ONE Family sign up now as you will be receiving an extra special opportunity during the launch of the book. The finishing touches are happening to help you experience your best marriage. Get signed up today! Other Resources: Essential Oil Diffuser Promescent Prolonging Delay Spray Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"When you can’t talk about your sex life there’s a connection that the two of you are missing out on." —Anonymous The world that you live in is hypersexualized and yet couples struggle with talking about their sex life with each other. How-to talk about sex is everywhere... it's on TV, on magazine covers, right here on the internet, with your friends but, when couples are asked if they are talking about sex the answer more often than not is "no". As a spouse in a committed relationship you may experience these thoughts: I don’t even know what I want. I’m not comfortable asking for what I want. What if my spouse says no. Our marriage already has enough rejection. My parents never talked about sex why should we. I don’t know how to start the conversation. These thoughts are swirling around your head as you think about having a deeper sexual experience. The thing is there is no way for your spouse to meet your needs sexually if you won’t tell them. Just because you don’t know how to do something doesn’t mean that silence or avoiding it is the best remedy. These emotions of fear, frustration and rejection can, over time create a huge amount of distance or disconnect in your marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what you can do to overcome the challenge of not talking about your sex life so that you can try something new. EPISODE SPONSOR | HelloFresh HelloFresh is the meal kit delivery service that makes cooking fun, easy, and convenient! Each week HelloFresh creates new delicious recipes with step-by-step instructions designed to take around 30 minutes. For novices to seasoned home-cooks who are short on time HelloFresh sources the freshest ingredients, measured to the exact quantities needed so there’s no food waste.  Take $35 off your first week of deliveries when you enter promo code OEM. Other Resources: 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"The moment when he rolls over, puts his arm around me and pulls me closer, in his sleep. I like that." —Country Thang Many marriages are suffering from some lack of connection. Often it’s due to our busy schedules and the commitments that keep us running around like crazy. Maybe it’s the kids or your parents who have you running around. Work, volunteering and keeping the house inside and out add a lot to your plate. Then the end of the day comes and all you want to do is veg out. Not just from the world but also from each other. And when couples stops going to bed with each other they miss out on that chance for connection. You miss out on: Cuddling before falling asleep. Conversations that happen in the quiet of your bedroom away from the kids. Random spooning in the middle of the night. Spontaneous sex because the two of you are in the same place at the same time and the door is already locked. Early morning snuggles when your hair is a mess and you have your sleepy face. You and your spouse are desperate for connection and yet you choosing to miss out on this time that you simply cannot get back. Being together in the same bed is all about non-verbal communication. It’s about being together. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the impact that going to bed together has on your marriage. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Total Package With so many couples struggling with how or when to make sexual intimacy happen it’s time to take the guess work out of wondering when you are going to get some. This package includes the 7 Days of Sex Challenge ebook, audiobook and kindle versions along with 4 bonuses. Get your 7 Days of Sex Challenge Total Package TODAY! Other Resources: 6 Benefits of Cuddling With Your Spouse Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Sex solves most problems including headaches." —Anonymous You have a crazy headache, while on vacation, with plans to have sex, on the only night you have away from your kids. You take a nice nap to see if that would take care of it and it didn’t. You still have a headache. You're still in the hotel room you booked. And... you still have a spouse with the expectation that this is your opportunity for sex. What if having sex during this time will help your headache go away? Most of the times it's used as an excuse, an obstacle or a form of rejection. The next time you are about to say, "Not tonight, I have a headache", what if you said, "Yes, tonight! I want to get rid of this headache." What if an orgasm could relieve the pain of your headache? What if when you're not feeling well you could turn to your spouse for comfort instead of pushing them away? What if sex became the treatment to embrace instead of the action to avoid? In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about changing your mindset from “I can't have sex because I have a headache to let's have sexual because I have a headache.” EPISODE SPONSOR | 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom Discover a hit-list of all the top items we’ve used in the last 20 years of marriage to ignite intimacy, connection and comfort in the most important room of all — the bedroom! Use this list to take this show and the ideas in it to the next level as you build your toolbox with resources to make awake sex even more extraordinary. Get 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom NOW! Other Resources: Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"In life it’s not where you go, it’s who you travel with.” —Charlie Schultz There are times when your vacations don’t always go as planned. You have your expectations for everything. From how relaxing it’s going to be to how often the two of you are going to have sex. You think about the adventures you are going to go on, the shows you will see, the relaxing you are going to do and the money you will spend during your trip. And then, you have instances like we have had on our last couple of vacations where we have discussed the sex part but no expectations about anything else. When you go on vacation with expectations that you don’t share with your spouses or you don't have a plan for high stress situations on vacation then the wheels can fall off of a good vacation. Been there, done that! You find yourself remembering the drama instead of the good times. That’s not why you go on vacation. You're not looking for more drama, you want to have an amazing time with your spouse and enjoy this time together. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about communicating to each other those vacation expectations you have so you experience the best travel possible. EPISODE SPONSOR | Connect Like You Did When You First Met — Free Softcover Book Hidden inside this book you’ll discover how to have fun, deep and meaningful conversations so you can connect with you spouse again. Get started on your emotional intimacy journey with your own softcover copy of Connect Like You Did When You First Met: 101 Proven Questions for Couple PLUS 4 digital bonuses. Limited quantities available so get yours today. Other Resources: Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa 178: Sexpectations 334: The Emasculated Man 335: She’s Not Your Mother Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Let’s cuddle so that I can steal your body heat.” —Anonymous There are different reasons and times of the year when your bedroom is cold. It could be winter time, the air conditioning is on to beat the summer heat or your bedroom is in a cool part of your home. On the other hand one of you may run colder than the other. (We live this in our marriage.) When you are cold it makes heating things up in the bedroom a challenge. Let's face it... It’s tough to be naked when you are cold. It's difficult to be adventurous when you are freezing. There can be a serious disconnect in the bedroom when it comes to temperature. But how are going to heat up the bedroom so you can heat things up under the sheets? What can you do to create an environment where you want to be naked with one another, a place where you are comfortable being naked because you aren’t freezing? It's time to find different ways to heat up your bedroom. When you do you will begin to eliminate the excuses so that you can heat up your physically and sexually intimacy during those cold nights. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about the importance of heating things up in the bedroom when it’s cold outside for more enjoyment under the covers. EPISODE SPONSOR | 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom Discover a hit-list of all the top items we’ve used in the last 20 years of marriage to ignite intimacy, connection and comfort in the most important room of all -- the bedroom! Use this list to take this show and the ideas in it to the next level as you build your toolbox with resources to make awake sex even more extraordinary. Get 11 Must Have Items for Your Bedroom NOW! Other Resources: Top 10 Ways To Initiate Sex With Your Spouse TONIGHT 19 Quick Questions That Will Rekindle Your Sex Life ASAP Quilted Polyester Heated Mattress Pad Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

"Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul.” —Anonymous Spiritual intimacy has a huge impact on you and your marriage. And yet it’s the one intimacy that often gets overlooked or minimized even though it’s just as important if not more so than the others. In our marriage there have been seasons when we are clicking in our spiritual intimacy and times when we experience a dryness. The same may happen in your marriage. It can be with your emotional intimacy, your physical intimacy as well as in your spiritual intimacy. At those times when there is a disconnect it's time to get on your knees in prayer. You gain a different perspective on your situation. The challenge of trying to figure everything out on your own gets unstuck. New ideas for growing spiritually begin to happen. Prayers that are seemingly unanswered are answered. Those questions about your faith get unlocked. Often it's the starting that keeps you from the spiritual intimacy you desire. You see other who are amazing prayer warriors so how could you be like them. This stops you dead in your tracks and yet you can become a prayer warrior. You and your spouse can experience the closeness that comes through prayer, but you have to put your knees on the floor. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what can happen to you when you are on your knees praying for your marriage and your spouse. EPISODE SPONSOR | 7 Days of Sex Challenge Bundle Sometimes it can be hard to think of what to get your love... chocolates, lingerie, a night out. Each of these are great choices and yet what about something truly unique this year? What about something that extends Valentine’s Day beyond one day? Get the 7 Days of Sex Challenge Bundle NOW! Other Resources: Download The Intimacy Wheel Now C3 San Diego Emerge Conference Night Light: A Devotional for Couples Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence Strategic Coaching Session with Alisa Support ONE Extraordinary Marriage by shopping at Amazon.com. Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices