Psychology Has It Backwards

Dive into the complex world of ego and its profound effects on our self-identity and relationships. Discover how ego can be both a source of confidence and a mask for insecurity. Explore the damaging impact of ego-driven thoughts on self-esteem and learn the power of embracing authenticity. Through compelling stories, listeners are encouraged to break free from ego's grip and nourish self-acceptance. The conversation also highlights ego's subtle influence in parenting, revealing how understanding our children's true selves can lead to healthier connections.

The podcast delves into the contrast between wisdom and intellect in therapy, highlighting how focusing on details of problems can hinder progress. It explores the impact of past trauma on emotional well-being and emphasizes the importance of shifting focus to the present moment. The discussion emphasizes the role of wisdom in guiding clients towards insights and relief, rather than getting stuck in problem-solving.

Dive into the concept of psychological innocence, revealing that our actions often stem from our state of mind. Explore how perceptions of 'difficult clients' can change with compassion and understanding. Discover a touching story of a woman and her foster child, highlighting love's power in healing. Uncover the complexities of insecurity in relationships through a man's misguided fears. Finally, learn how forgiveness and compassion can break cycles of blame and encourage personal growth.

Dive into the intriguing concept of separate realities, where each person's unique perspective shapes their interpretation of life. Personal anecdotes reveal how misunderstandings can erupt from simple differences, like a sofa's color. The discussion also emphasizes the necessity of communication, especially in therapy and family dynamics. Hear how children and adults perceive responsibilities differently and the importance of fostering empathy in relationships. Ultimately, it advocates for compassion and finding common ground amidst our varied experiences.

Anything that pulls us out of the present moment, when we are creating our life, is memory.  Memories can be powerful, beautiful, touching, or horrifying, upsetting, sad.  No matter what, the past tricks us and keeps us from living life in the now, moment-to-moment.  We can recall past joy and think the present can never measure up to it; we can remember past upset and think it is ruining our lives.  Understanding the past is not about sorting out the content of our thinking, but recognizing that the past, good or bad, is over.  We can't change it; we can't fix it; we can't make it happen again.  We can learn from the past, deeply appreciate it, or leave it behind.  But true contentment is found in the now.Support the show

The field of Psychology, with the intention to end suffering, has fostered suffering inadvertently by focusing on people's past.  Because people suffering mentally in the present tend to be focused on thinking, thinking, thinking to try to find relief, they are caught in their intellect and using their memories to try to understand themselves.  When we are processing thoughts from our intellect, all we have to work with is the past because the intellect is all stored thoughts.  So without an understanding of how the mind works, how quieting circular thinking allows for insight and clarity in the present, psychology has made the assumption that relief only comes from dealing with the thoughts people are thinking.Support the show

We think about the past as "real" and important, the personal story of our life that has power over us.  Or as memories that haunt us, or delight us.  Or as the history we learn about in school.  Really, the past is just thoughts, stored in our memory.  Just images we can bring to mind.  The past is the sentence you just read.  The past is everything behind us that isn't happening right now.  It is as easy to forget as to remember.  It is not a "thing" that we have to deal with or figure out.  It has no power except the power we give it when we bring it to mind in the present.  The power to think and our own free will gives us the capacity to bring thoughts to mind, but the thoughts themselves have no power.Support the show

Delving into the complexity of mental health diagnoses, the conversation critiques the DSM-5 for framing individuals as flawed. It argues for a shift away from pathologizing common human experiences and emphasizes the inherent health within everyone. Personal stories highlight the power of understanding one's thoughts, fostering genuine well-being. The discussion encourages focusing on joy rather than trauma, illustrating how this perspective can transform healing and improve overall mental wellness.

While there is no excuse for doing harm to others, an understanding of why it makes sense to the people who do it would improve treatment and rehabilitation for them.  We all live on a sine curve from low feelings of insecurity to higher feelings of security and peace of mind.  For most people, the feelings come and go, just changing moods.  But some people get deeply frightened by low mood, negative thoughts.  In an effort to understand or fight them, they hold on to them and think about them more and more.  Extended, worsening periods of negative thinking send them into a downward spiral, looking for who or what to blame.  At that point, lashing out with horrendous behavior seems like the only way to rid themselves of the misery they have no idea was created by their own thoughts, not by anything or anyone else. Support the show

When violent events occur, the quick response often is, "Society has a mental health issue."  In truth, people experiencing mental well-being do not harm other people.  But most people who are experiencing mental health difficulties do not kill or harm other people.  There is a psychological path to violence: as some people experience extended periods of extremely dark, negative, insecure thinking and see themselves as alienated from others and hopeless about who they are or where they fit, they fill their heads with extreme nasty, vengeful thoughts.  At some point, they commit violence, looking to get relief from the pain of that thinking, with no understanding that they are the thinkers who have created it.  What is needed is a deeper recognition of how thinking works and how we can quiet our thinking and find our innate well-being.Support the show