The Overwhelmed Brain

Black or white thinking can lead you to be untrusting of people and the world in general. If you've loved and lost and cannot figure out how to love as deeply as you once did, it could be a general distrust you carry around - seeing people as either safe or not safe. If you cannot be vulnerable, a difficult thing to achieve after pain or betrayal, you may not be able to rebuild the emptiness in your heart. Dichotomous thinking can keep you from unlocking your heart to anyone else. Today's episode is sponsored by lovepop.com/brain

Do you freeze when you get stressed? Learn what you can do to stop the freeze before it happens. What didn't work in your last relationship that you can take with you into your next one? These questions will help you become wise for the future. If you suffered a breakup and you feel that emptiness inside, you may have a hole in your heart that needs to be filled. I'll help you start to rebuild what's missing so that you can start to heal your emotional wounds.

Why don't abuse victims leave the relationship? In this first segment I talk about the perspective of the abuse victim and no matter how much sense it makes to us for them to leave the abuser, it's an entirely different reality for the victim. In segment two I tackle the dynamics of step-children and how step-parents can enter a family and be more of a friend than a parent to gain trust and respect from the children. During the close I address what happens when you honor yourself. Who you thought were friends might disappear from your life but there's so much more to gain. Get out of emotional abuse with the M.E.A.N. workbook: https://theoverwhelmedbrain.com/mean/

If you've had ups and downs with your relationship and you're ready to keep it on track so it doesn't start slipping back down, I'll tell you ten steps you can take to make sure it stays healthy and continues to blossom.

Stonewalling is damaging to a relationship and can make it fail if whatever is shut down is never brought up to be resolved. Do you set expectations in your friendships? Should friendships be an equal, two-way street? It doesn't have to be - not exactly. Is there a way to get into healthy relationships after being in emotionally abusive ones? Very important question. What's the best way to connect with people? Find fewer and get away from the crowds.

The more you expose yourself to new things, the smarter you get and the more your thought processes change. Why does one abuse? This important segment will help you understand the perspective of the one who abuses. How can you enjoy your relationship if you can't stop thinking it may fail in the future? Worries about tomorrow can make the present feel not as good as it should. Everything is temporary. The bad stuff and the good stuff, but it gets better as you get through the bad stuff.

When you feel guilty for wanting to leave your partner because of their bad behavior, it's time to transform that guilt into something more productive. What happens when you lose a parent and the one left behind wants to date again? Is this something you support or are vehemently against? Do you live with someone taking advantage of you? Are you their doormat hoping they'll change some day? Maybe that day is today.

Positive thinking leads to denial which creates negative emotions in your body eventually leading to depression. What?? Sounds like a great first topic. Little spats in a relationship that lead to massive blowups have an origin. The unspoken words are what cause those big explosions. It's time to connect emotionally rather than logically to diffuse the emotional bombs before they explode. What is toxic? Do we call people toxic just to avoid our own personal growth? A listener challenges me on the topic.

Mom criticizes her, makes her feel bad and unworthy, yet this listener still wants a relationship with her. Do you let go or do you find a way to relate that won't be toxic to you? What happens when there are early warning signs in your relationship but you choose to ignore them? Are they signs of worse things to come or can you overlook them and expect your relationship to get better? Do you change for someone else to keep them in your life, or do you want to attract the person that accepts who you really are? The path to a long-lasting bonding involves not settling and not changing for anyone, but are you willing to take being alone for a while until that happens? Bypassing your instincts to follow your guilt instead could be a dangerous path into denial and maybe even betrayal. Should you follow your instincts even though it could lead to a truth you don't want to know? Today's episode was brought to you by Casper. Get an awesome mattress at a great price at casper.com/brain. If you want $50 off, use the code "brain" during checkout and you'll be a happier person.

When you are so knowledgeable about your problems, you may have a tendency to be closed off to the solution. The "I know" syndrome can keep you from finding out the root of your emotional distress. It's time to get to the root and release the grip it has on you. When your partner can't seem to trust you completely and holds back their emotions around you, there is something you can do to meet them where they are. It's not easy - in fact it's a process - but it may save your relationship. One thing for sure, it's not about trying to fix them. In closing I talk about how other people can help you bypass your own intuition getting you into trouble or submitting to their control of you. It's time to take back control of life by understanding how to hold on to those "something doesn't feel right" feelings. Visit Casper.com/brain for your $50 discount on a fantastic mattress