The Overwhelmed Brain

Does your partner corner you into a no-win situation? Do they ask you questions that make you wrong no matter what you say? I talk about double binds in relationships and a couple ways to get out of the no-win questioning that often happens in both non-abusive and abusive relationships. For segment two I talk about lashing out and where it comes from. Are they new emotions that seem to originate in the moment or are they old, stored emotions that derived from a single point in time? Regardless, lashing out can be quite damaging to a relationship so it's time to get a grasp on what's happened in your past. During the close of the show I address the person who takes the blame for their partner's cheating. Some people are convinced they are the cause for their partner taking conscience steps to cheat. I have news for those people: You are not the cause and I share with you why in this segment. Today's episode brought to you by Honest Tea. Visit honesttea.com/podcast for refreshingly good bottled tea.

Is succeeding in a stressful way better than not succeeding at all? In this first segment I talk about how creating a deadline with accountability keeps you on task and even makes you more creative. In segment 2, a woman writes to say that it's never too late to honor yourself. She did so with a toxic family member and is now starting a new way of life without his involvement. In segment 3, I talk about the issue of judging others for things that you yourself do. It's like telling the alcoholic not to drink alcohol while you're drinking alcohol. Is it ever good to judge the behavior of others when you do the very same behavior? During the close of the show, a wife cheats then lays her guilt on her husband making him feel worse than he already feels. Today's episode is brought to you by getoutofthemess.com - the legal insurance plan that helps you keep your rights.

When you obsess about someone you want in your life or someone that broke up with you, what can you do to stop the never-ended thoughts? What about when you go so far as to stalk them and find out everything you can about them? This is a two-part segment because there's a lot to talk about. In segment two a woman wants to know if she heals and grows will her husband see that she is better and want to stay in the relationship. However the husband has been manipulative and unkind to her, letting her know that she's the one with the problem and she's the one who needs help. Can they save their marriage or are they doomed to fail? During the close of the show I talk about Justine Sacco and how her life was ruined because of a misunderstood joke on Twitter. Public shaming takes the stage in this segment. Visit getoutofthemess.com for your legal insurance to protect your rights.

Standing up for your boundaries can have the consequence of being called out. I address critical feedback from a listener who calls me out on what she believes to be smug and superior behavior. Can someone with a fear of abandonment be in an intimate relationship with someone who has a fear of commitment? That's a great question that I help a listener consider. Do you overshare? I read a message from someone who says her oversharing is a big problem in her life, causing all kinds of boundary violations for her. I end the show talking about what it takes to go full no contact from an emotional (and other) abusers. Visit getoutofthemess.com to keep your rights when the bullies come after you

Do you trust your gut? Do you want to? I tell you how in this first segment where I share how I almost got conned by a store clerk. In segment two, high school sweethearts get married then divorced ten years later. After a lot of emotional abuse and healing, he wants her back but she's not ready. Is reconciliation possible? In closing I tell you how to make decisions that allow you to do some time traveling so that you can get an idea of how you'll feel after making them or not. A packed episode brought to you by getoutofthemess.com

You will get the results you want as soon as you accept responsibility for your role in every problem in your life. What is your level of success? Segment one will help you measure it and come up with a game plan for you. Segment two talks about the how important relationships are, especially the one with yourself. Almost every relationship issue you have with others needs nurturing in yourself. Nurture you and your relationship will be healthy and toxic-free! In segment three I read a letter from someone who is sick around her partner who has ADD and ignores her most of the time. What do you do when you have a romantic relationship where your partner is more focused on work than you? During the close of the show I talk about the best way to handle the continuously criticizing family member.

When you pursue someone you want romantically but they don't want you, the result is often hurt feelings or worse. What about when you love someone so much that you want them to love you back and they won't? Should you continue your pursuit? If you try to convince them that being in a relationship with you will be the best thing for them, it may create a very unstable and probably short union. Love and being in love are two different things - when you learn to love, you learn to release. This release may highlight that the pursuit isn't really about love at all. In segment two, I read an email from a woman who eats out of anger because her husband doesn't want to be with her sexually. Now she's overweight and knows she's going down the wrong path but isn't motivated enough to lose weight. She still wants to be intimate with her husband but their growing anger and frustration with each other is keeping them distant. There is a path to closeness but it may involve taking risks that could lead to the end of the relationship. The upside is that it could also lead to the most powerfully bonding future they could possibly ever have. During the closing of the show, a listener reaches out to me and asks me if it's a good idea to tell her sister to get help. Her sister has already refused her advice but she is watching her sister and her family decline as things seem to get worse and worse. The more she wants to help them, the more they feel judged and like she's interfering. There is a line that you have to draw with yourself when someone doesn't ask for your help. It involves some humility, a whole lot of faith, and your ability to show up as the best version of you. Your best self can lead to someone wanting to learn from you. Today's episode is brought to you by the most affordable legal insurance plan around. Visit getoutofthemess.com for more info.

You know that feeling you get when someone puts you down? How about when you feel like you're doing everything right but that one person tells you how you're doing it wrong? In segment one, I read an email from someone who gives me some critical feedback about how I communicate my message over the airwaves. He also tells me something I'm doing blatantly wrong. I share my reaction and the emotions I went through, and what you yourself probably go through when someone points out something that you did wrong as well. Sometimes there is truth in what they say. It can hurt and help at the same time. And, more importantly, can we see a bit of ourselves in the critical person? In segment two, I read a message from someone who has no idea how to start a therapeutic process. He isn't sure where to begin with his many challenges and isn't sure how anyone could even help him. I outline the steps to starting a journey of getting help for whatever issues you are dealing with, giving you questions to ask yourself and resources to utilize. In segment three, what happens to you after going through a lot of emotional pain from the death of loved ones? One listener says it's like damage to your soul that can never be repaired. Is it repairable? How can you deal with a lot of death in your life? When does the grieving end? There are always ups and downs to grieving but hopefully after listening to this episode there will be more ups. The soul, or spirit, or psyche, however you want to see it, can feel like it's missing something. It's time to rebuild what's missing. It's not replacing it, it's nurturing that part of you that needs it most. Today's episode is sponsored by Casper Mattresses. Visit casper.com/brain and use the promo code brain for $50 off a mattress today.

Honoring your boundaries can be the hardest step to take in your personal development, and it's also one of the fastest ways to start creating a life without toxicity and dysfunction. But what if you're too scared to do it? Getting to a place where fear goes away isn't easy - it can take a lot of inner growth leading to the confidence and courage to do whatever it takes to let others know what is acceptable and what is not. In this first segment, I talk about boundaries and how there may be a quick, yet completely unorthodox method of getting past the fear. In segment two, what do you do if you're in a relationship with someone who has close ties to someone you don't like? And what if you can't avoid this other person? On top of that, what if this other person is your ex? It's a tricky situation and one that one particular person has with someone they used to date. I read her email on the air and do my best to answer her question on what to do about this. During the close of the show, I read a message from someone who left an emotionally abusive relationship but is wondering if they should get back into it. She thinks that if he heals that things could get better and they could be a couple again. But how long do you wait for someone to heal? Should you wait? Is waiting worse than moving on? It's a great letter and an important subject, especially if you feel like you're in a rut and aren't sure what to do after a breakup. Today's episode is brought to you by the delicious Earth's Brew. Visit earthsbrew.com and using promo code "brain10" when checking out to get a discount.

Comparing yourself to other people is the fastest way to low self-worth and self-esteem. And why do we always compare ourselves to people that are better looking, wealthier, healthier and have more success in areas of life that we are still working on? It seems like a black hole of misery that will never end. In segment one, I talk about one of my good friends who is self-employed and wondering why she isn't succeeding after a few months of what I see has been a very successful time for her. She is comparing her success to those that have been in the business for a long time and it is making her feel down. This segment is for you if you are feeling inferior or less-than someone you know and you're not sure how to get out of that rut. In segment two, I address the concerns of a woman who's boyfriend has a controlling mother that doesn't like her. On top of that, her boyfriend will never let anyone get in between his mother and him. There may be some unhealthy attachment going on here. If his girlfriend comes second to his mom, she may always be second best in his life. Should she stay and hope he changes his mind or get out of the situation before his mom takes over their relationship? In segment three, I talk about my analysis of conversations that a woman recorded with her narcissistic mom. I listened to the conversations carefully and picked apart exactly where healthy behavior stopped and where possible narcissistic behavior started. The source of the recordings themselves can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/user/Zastrow69/videos Who knows? You may be able to spot some narcissistic behavior in someone you know! Or… maybe even in you. During the close of the show, I talk about how your response to a dysfunctional or toxic person can actually create more dysfunction. Even if you honor yourself authentically and say what you mean, their behavior can still be incited and amplified just by you being you. It's time to stop feeding the dysfunctional feedback machine and start to do new behavior that doesn't incite their old behavior. Today's episode is brought to you by getoutofthemess.com. Legal insurance when you need it.