The Overwhelmed Brain
Paul Colaianni: Relationship and Emotional Abuse Expert
Get to the root of emotional issues and learn the best way to relate to yourself and others by honoring your personal boundaries and making decisions that are in alignment with what's most important to you.
This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.
Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.
If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
This is not a "common-sense" personal growth and development show. You won't be told to think positively or create affirmations. The Overwhelmed Brain is about accessing that deeper mental and emotional strength inside you so that you can decrease or even eliminate old fears and evolve into the person you want to be.
Learn what your parents or caretakers never taught you about emotional wellness and creating strong, non-toxic bonds with others.
If you want the exact instructions that will help improve your life, you're in the right place.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Jan 7, 2018 • 54min
An Addict's Mind - Is Suffering Optional - Avoid Healing by Judging Others
1. The addict has a different perspective of the world according to a recovering addict that writes in to the show. 2. We're told that suffering is optional. I make an argument against and for it. 3. Every judgment you have is a lack of acceptance in you. I help a listener understand his options when it comes to judging his girlfriend
Dec 31, 2017 • 1h 2min
Resolving Before New Years - Are You The Problem - Free Will or Destiny - Get Ready for Next Year
1. Resolving issues before New Year's resolutions is a better practice for some people. If you have trouble keeping your resolutions, perhaps it's time to change when you make them. 2. A listener writes in and wonders if she is toxic like her boyfriend's ex's or if he is the common denominator. 3. Is free will really free? This philosophical perspective may start the new year off with many questions. 4. If you reflect on how your year went, it's time to look at what you really value so you can plan ahead instead of review the past
Dec 24, 2017 • 1h 12min
They love you but don't like to say it - Getting over the guilt of how you treated your ex - You can manipulate but should you
1. Is it hard for you or your partner to say I love you? Sometimes the past can play an important role to prevent or encourage those words to come out of someone's mouth. If the love is there but the words aren't, it doesn't always mean there is no love. 2. When you think about how you treated your ex, do you feel guilty? If so, this segment will help you cope and perhaps even get over the guilt so that you can look forward to a brighter future in yourself and your relationships. 3. If you are emotionally abusive, it's time to face up to it and do whatever it takes to heal inside so that you don't subject anyone else to it. There is a path to freedom from your own behavior.
Dec 17, 2017 • 1h 8min
The Adapting Chameleon Personality - When they hurt you to get rid of you - Accepting or denying toxic family members
1. Are you a chameleon? Do you change as needed for every person and situation? If so, is it really serving you? 2. If someone has ever hurt you so that you would let them go, this segment may tell you why. Fear of your reaction is usually the cause but there are others. 3. Speaking of reactions, what do you do with friends and family that are aggressive or explosive? Do you invite them to the wedding or are you just setting yourself up for disaster?
Dec 13, 2017 • 1h 5min
When your partner sides with their family against you
If your partner's family is against you and your partner sides with them, what do you do? When you can't feel safe in your own relationship because your partner's priority is his or her own family, you may have some hard choices to make. An emotionally intelligent conversation between Matthew Bivens and I on this special episode of The Overwhelmed Brain.
Dec 10, 2017 • 1h 10min
The cheater who went from kind to cold when caught - Ex won't return even after I improve - Your intuition needs closure
1 She caught her husband cheating, he blamed her and her family for the affair. He used to be loving and supportive. Now that he can't get his way, he is cold and manipulative. 2 She wants her ex back but all he wants is sex. She complies but feels empty and lonely without him. Now that she has healed from her past and doing better, he still won't come back. 3 When your intuition kicks in, it's important to follow it through to the end. You may not like what you find but at least you'll have closure. Visit getoutofthemess.com if you need legal advice
Dec 6, 2017 • 1h 33min
Holding on to a lie to keep the relationship going
When you find out a lie that your partner has been holding on to for months or years, where does that leave the relationship? What if it's a minor lie and your relationship has been going great? Or what if it's a massive lie that you cannot get past? Matthew Bivens of the Having it A.L.L. podcast joins me to answer an email on this very subject in this special mid-week episode of TOB.
Dec 3, 2017 • 1h 3min
Attracting higher quality partners - Feeling sorry for those that abuse you - Try, try again or do or do not
1. Do you attract the worst partners? What does it take to find a normal person to date? There is a path to attracting quality partners but it may involve facing your fear of loss. 2. If you feel bad for your emotional abuser or manipulator, you are more likely to stay in the relationship and take the abuse. I'll tell you what you need to focus on so the abuse stops 3. When did "trying" things turns into a bad course of action? Ever since Star Wars, it seems we've adopted do or do not… but is that the best course of action?
Nov 26, 2017 • 53min
Escaping the Real World - Kids and the Narcissistic Parent - The Isolation of the Child Sexual Abuse Survivor
Do you fantasize, daydream, play video games, or watch TV in hopes that you won't have to deal with reality? It's not all bad, but anything in moderation, right? I talk about the benefits of skipping reality for a little bit as long as you connect with yourself in other ways. For segment two, I go over what you might have to do with your kids when you have a narcissistic ex. During the close, I talk about child sexual abuse and the silent but damaging effects it has on the victim throughout their life and how this music video might be just the path to healing you need.
Nov 19, 2017 • 58min
Losing love and the general lies we tell ourselves
Black or white thinking can lead you to be untrusting of people and the world in general. If you've loved and lost and cannot figure out how to love as deeply as you once did, it could be a general distrust you carry around - seeing people as either safe or not safe. If you cannot be vulnerable, a difficult thing to achieve after pain or betrayal, you may not be able to rebuild the emptiness in your heart. Dichotomous thinking can keep you from unlocking your heart to anyone else. Today's episode is sponsored by lovepop.com/brain
