ADHD Money Talk

As a CFP®, I’m often asked about my services - and what makes me different from others who provide financial coaching or advice.To begin, the term financial planner encompasses a pretty broad area. For example, some advisors:Work like an insurance company and sell insurance on commissionFee-based by selling other investment products like annuitiesFee-only planning as a flat fee for service renderedInvestment managers paid via a retainer feeThe fee-only option is what I do by providing financial planning services.I am a fiduciary, legally and ethically obligated to do what's in the client's best interest or best faith efforts toward doing what's in the client's best interest. I do not get paid commissions for selling products, and I don't sell insurance or annuities.  The Name GameAnyone can call themselves a financial planner, financial advisor, or financial services professional, but you must be careful. There's always a risk that they're just an insurance salesperson and not doing any financial planning. If you're considering working with a financial planner, check their certification history. Be sure you're working with someone looking at their clients' entire financial landscape and advising them on how to achieve their short and long-term financial goals. The Niche of Working with ADHD ClientsPeople with ADHD need more accountability, handholding, and frequent touch points. If we go cold for six months, we need someone knocking on our door. We want a planner who will say, okay, you're ignoring me. I'm coming to find you. I try to keep my clients accountable. If you pay me and I do not hear from you, I will tell you that this may not be the best fit because I want progress for my clients. I decided to work with people with ADHD because I understand the struggle and can help them bridge the gap between ADHD, financial chaos, and creating wealth.It has to start with small achievable steps that feel attainable and are filled with accountability.Here are the areas I can help you with:Cash Flow and BudgetingDebt ManagementIdentify Insurance NeedsInvestingOpening Accounts and Managing MoneyPlanning for your Child's EducationReferrals for Tax and Estate PlanningStudent Loan ManagementTo see the plans that I offer, or to work with me, check out my ADHD Planning & Coaching service: https://www.dewittcm.com/adhdHelping ADHD'ers unleash their financial potential through planning and coaching.Struggling with money chaos and ADHD? Start your money transformation with my ADHD Financial Kickstarter session. A one on one meeting where we'll dive into into your unique situation and build a personalized roadmap tailored to you. No generic advice—just clear, actionable steps to transform your relationship with money. One premium session, one comprehensive plan, zero subscriptions. Book your call today! shamelessmoney.com/adhd-financial-kickstartLearn more about ADHD-friendly financial coaching Follow me on YouTubeSubscribe to the newsletter

Some call it their 'Life Happens Fund,' others their 'Emergency Fund.' Whatever you call yours, make sure you have one. But then you might want to take that thought one step further. I'm about to tell you why.My Dog WillowRecently Willow, my Bearded Collie, became very sick to the point where she needed to be hospitalized. Anyone who has gone through this before knows how expensive it is to hospitalize a pet. Throughout her illness, I had to make tough decisions where I felt I was choosing between my dog and my money. The stress and anxiety brought on by the situation were overwhelming. Of course, I chose my dog; thankfully, Willow is recovering.Looking at our now-depleted emergency fund started me thinking about pet insurance and how the situation might have been different if I had already had a pet policy.The Benefits Pet InsuranceIf I had pet insurance, I would not have hesitated to take Willow to the veterinarian when her symptoms started. I would have been able to file a claim and have a majority of the bills covered, thus circumventing any guilt or arguments about how much money we would need to spend on our dog.I've come to realize having pet insurance is my way of saying I love my dog, I care about her, and I'm doing this to protect her because I want her to live a long, happy life. It would also enable me to avoid the 'in the moment' emotional stress and anxiety when decision-making worsens.Another benefit of having pet insurance is passing the risk of your dog getting sick to the insurance company in exchange for the peace of mind of your dog's safety in the case of an emergency.The Costs of Insuring a PetHow much does pet insurance cost? After a bit of research, I discovered the following facts.Insuring a four-year-old Bearded Collie is about $30 a month.A Bearded Collie has a lifespan of about 13 years.If we had insured Willow as a puppy, we would have spent roughly $1,700 to date, considerably less than what we paid during her illness.Assuming we had the plan in place since Willow was a puppy and she'll live approximately 13 years, factoring in an 8% increase in premiums each year, that would mean spending roughly $7,700 during her life, or $600 per year. That's a much more easily digested amount spread over a decade than most of that amount paid out once during an emergency.For more information, visit the show notes at  https://www.adhdmoneytalk.com/s1e34Struggling with money chaos and ADHD? Start your money transformation with my ADHD Financial Kickstarter session. A one on one meeting where we'll dive into into your unique situation and build a personalized roadmap tailored to you. No generic advice—just clear, actionable steps to transform your relationship with money. One premium session, one comprehensive plan, zero subscriptions. Book your call today! shamelessmoney.com/adhd-financial-kickstartLearn more about ADHD-friendly financial coaching Follow me on YouTubeSubscribe to the newsletter

Shell Mendelson has more than 30 years of experience in the field of Career Counseling, and has ADHD herself.She knows it can be difficult to find a job you like, let alone a career you love.In this interview, Shell shares ways to identify fulfilling work, why it’s important to have passion in what you do, and why she doesn’t recommend disclosing your ADHD when applying for a job.Job Hopping and Finding Your Passion“I learned that if I wasn't really happy in my day to day work, I wasn't gonna do that well on it” - Shell MendelsonShell tells us a story about when she strayed from her path and was fired from her job.When we are dissatisfied and overwhelmed about our jobs, it leads to sadness and an extreme lack of satisfaction in life.We find ourselves job hopping and losing confidence in our abilities. When working with clients, Shell helps them create the equivalent of an accommodation plan, but more personal and designed for you as an individual. Disclosing ADHD on a Job ApplicationWhen applying for a job, you wanna understand the working conditions that are needed for you need to thrive in. There are not many companies that recognize ADHD, and you can get people questioning your performance. If you know the kind of working conditions you thrive in, you can address that right from the outset.Shell says you can just say, “I need to be and have these particular conditions that I thrive in. And when I am allowed to work within these conditions, you will have the very best employee you've ever seen.”Make More Money Knowing what you want puts you in a better position to make more money.Our ADHD brains are interest based. If we are interested in what we're doing, if we have energy behind it, if we have a good feeling about what the growth potential in what we're doing, then we can be fulfilled and be creative in our work.Shell teaches ADHDers to use the creativity that their brains love to use in order to learn, grow, and maybe make a shift now-and-then when the timing is right. Stay ahead of the burnout we all feel so you can make some shifts in your career and keep it sustainable.Considering the Cost of CollegeShell tells the story of an 80 year old person who is still paying off their student loan debt. People often don't look at what the starting wage is after they leave college. Before making the decision on a certain college major, look at how much a certain career field is paying. Knowing this can help you make a better decision before spending thousands of dollars, or paying interest on student loan debt longer than you actually work in that career field. About Shell Mendelson:Shell offers more than 30 years of experience and education in the field of career counseling and coaching.and coaching. Shell helps others FOCUS on defining, illuminating, creating and transforming lack of clarity to a well-defined career direction and abundant livelihood. Following her own diaStruggling with money chaos and ADHD? Start your money transformation with my ADHD Financial Kickstarter session. A one on one meeting where we'll dive into into your unique situation and build a personalized roadmap tailored to you. No generic advice—just clear, actionable steps to transform your relationship with money. One premium session, one comprehensive plan, zero subscriptions. Book your call today! shamelessmoney.com/adhd-financial-kickstartLearn more about ADHD-friendly financial coaching Follow me on YouTubeSubscribe to the newsletter

The final segment of our three-part series, we'll wrap up our discussion with Dr. Russell Ramsay, co-founder and co-director of the University of Pennsylvania's adult ADHD treatment and research program and associate professor of clinical psychology in the department of psychiatry at the Perelman School of Medicine.We all know we should do things like eat better and get our money straight, but what kind of implementation strategies do we use to put those things in motion?Focusing on the PositivesThe average ADHD person has up to 20,000 more negative experiences or interactions as they grow up than those who don't have ADHD. The power of negative experiences can be a positive thing insofar as helping us to avoid danger, allowing for problem-solving and learning from setbacks. It can take as many as four positive experiences to outweigh one negative, so it takes willpower and determination not to give up when things don't go as planned.Component Features of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)The component features of CBT include behavioral interventions, engagement, and tasks. Tasks are broken down into a sequence of steps, like a menu, as minutely as needed for you to feel they are manageable to complete. Otherwise, you risk what is often known as progressivity, which is escaping a higher priority task. For folks with ADHD, you haven't broken it down small enough if you're not starting a particular task.For example, you should be preparing for a meeting, but instead, you start doing something else you've been procrastinating. This type of positive procrastination allows you to feel the accomplishment of getting something done, just not what you set out to do initially.The progressivity task tends to be more manual or hands-on, even among academic tasks like reading or writing.Front End PerfectionismPerfectionism is the number one thinking error endorsed by adults with ADHD and is an emotional regulation strategy. We often say, "If I can get this done the first time perfectly, I can be done with it." The reality of that scenario is that it rarely happens. Things have to be perfect as a precondition to getting started. You tell yourself you have to be in the right mood, or you're nervous about meeting a new client because what will they think about you? We run anticipatory simulations in our heads that may never happen, causing anxiety and self-doubt.Instead, focus on what you can control, such as being professional, helpful and drawing on positive past experiences.  Resources:Part 1 of this interview seriesPart 2 with Dr. Russell RamsayDr. Ramsay's book: Rethinking Adult ADHD: Helping Clients Turn Intentions Into ActionsWant to work with me?Check out my ADHD Planning & Coaching serviceStruggling with money chaos and ADHD? Start your money transformation with my ADHD Financial Kickstarter session. A one on one meeting where we'll dive into into your unique situation and build a personalized roadmap tailored to you. No generic advice—just clear, actionable steps to transform your relationship with money. One premium session, one comprehensive plan, zero subscriptions. Book your call today! shamelessmoney.com/adhd-financial-kickstartLearn more about ADHD-friendly financial coaching Follow me on YouTubeSubscribe to the newsletter

In this engaging discussion, Dr. J. Russell Ramsay, co-founder of the University of Pennsylvania's ADHD treatment program, dives into the challenges of impulse spending faced by those with ADHD. He shares creative strategies like forming vision boards and shopping with partners to enhance control over impulsive purchases. Dr. Ramsay emphasizes the significance of self-monitoring and understanding personal motivations to curb spending habits, highlighting the emotional ties that influence financial decisions.

In this insightful conversation, Dr. J. Russell Ramsay, co-founder of the University of Pennsylvania's adult ADHD treatment program, delves into the multifaceted nature of ADHD. He unpacks the self-regulation model, linking it to time and financial management challenges faced by those with ADHD. Dr. Ramsay highlights emotional influences on financial decisions, offering practical strategies to manage impulses and anxiety around money. The discussion encourages embracing inconsistencies in habits and reframing the ADHD narrative for better outcomes.

The 'FIRE movement' is a concept that stands for ‘financial independence, retire early,’ where your investments provide all of your income to support your lifestyle. Hence, you no longer need to work. Sounds pretty good, right? The next obvious question then is how do you achieve this?Frugal Does Not Mean DeprivationTo retire early, you have to save aggressively in the market until you reach a specific dollar amount you've defined as retirement, where you can stop working and live off your investments for the rest of your life. The idea of frugal living does not mean deprivation. It means being resourceful, optimizing, being savvy with your money, and making decisions moving you towards what you want: independence and freedom.What if you still want to work and have the option to know you don't have to? You still want the income, so maybe the amount you need to save is less because you're still going to have some income, but you have the pure freedom to do whatever you want. If you're a high earner, you can achieve this by making a few modest lifestyle changes and being very smart and efficient about saving.FIRE examples for ADHD BrainsIf you're not a high earner, that's okay. You can still get there with a few more focused lifestyle changes and embracing the actions of being frugal. For example, let's say you are 30 years old, earn $200,000 per year, and have determined that you can comfortably live the life you want on $100,000 a year. To be financially independent, you need to save $2.5 million in investments. You get to this number by multiplying the money you need for annual expenses by 25.Factoring in the stock market, the average long-term return on the stock market is around 7- 8%. The rule of thumb in the FIRE movement is to take 4% of your investments yearly. 4% of $2.5 million is $100,000, which is why the standard rule is 25 times expenses.You’ve decided you would like to do the FIRE movement. You believe you can cut your expenses, save $70,000 per year, max out your 401k, and put the remaining savings into a taxable brokerage account. Getting to the needed $2.5 million would take 17 years. So at age 47, you could live off your investments for the rest of your life.The Power of the FIRE MovementThe power of the FIRE movement is there's a tangible result that's exciting and life-changing. It comes down to what your values are and what you want. Do you like what it can give you more than you want the next shiny object or more than you want to buy more clothes or whatever it is that gets in your way? The FIRE movement provides the freedom to live exactly how you want and realize that consumerism is unimportant. ADHD and FIREThe main challenge for those of us with ADHD embracing the FIRE movement is we impulsively spend too much and struggle with the idea of being frugal. ADHDers love extremes and do crazy things like skydiving, which is liberating, just not in the right way!Taking control of our money is a powerful thing, and that feeling of security gives us:FreedomOptionsStruggling with money chaos and ADHD? Start your money transformation with my ADHD Financial Kickstarter session. A one on one meeting where we'll dive into into your unique situation and build a personalized roadmap tailored to you. No generic advice—just clear, actionable steps to transform your relationship with money. One premium session, one comprehensive plan, zero subscriptions. Book your call today! shamelessmoney.com/adhd-financial-kickstartLearn more about ADHD-friendly financial coaching Follow me on YouTubeSubscribe to the newsletter

What is the purpose of having wealth? Some people use their wealth benevolently to give back to society. Others use it to create generational wealth for their kids and future generations. Building wealth is an integral part of our society; however, looking ahead too far in the future can cause us to miss out on what's happening today.The Power of NowIn 'The Power of Now,' Eckhart Toley encourages us to train our minds to become more present at the moment. Toley believes 80-90% of thinking is compulsive and destructive. Compulsive thinking is an addiction where you feel you have no control over it and cannot stop. It gives you a sense of false pleasure that invariably turns to pain. We derive our sense of self from our thinking, and we must keep thinking to keep our ego alive. The ego constantly looks back into the past, projecting ourselves forward.We can also get so caught up in the past and future that we try to convince ourselves into thinking things like, 'Well, just as soon as this happens,' or 'Once I get this job,' or 'Once I do this, then I'll be happy,' but that rarely happens. True liberation, happiness, and peace come from being truly present.Personal WealthThose of us with ADHD are impulsive. We struggle with the purpose of saving money, and every time we start saving, something happens that inevitably throws a wrench in our plan. The next thing we know, we're back to where we were before. It's very frustrating, overwhelming, and annoying!We ask ourselves, 'What should I do to get myself moving in the right direction?' It comes down to building personal wealth, which is not just about money. It's life wealth, financial wealth, a wealth of life experiences, and using money as a tool to help you create the life you want.How Do We Build Financial Wealth?There are three primary ways to increase our wealth:Saving moneyMaking more moneyInvesting in or increasing the return of our moneyIf you're an impulsive spender and make a lot of money, one of the most effective ways to increase your wealth is to save more by limiting the amount of impulsive spending. Get a cheaper car, and start trying to peel back your lifestyle.If you're not making enough money, take stock of your skills. Is there an opportunity to work part-time or start your own business? What about asking your boss for a raise? It's sometimes difficult for us with ADHD to speak up and advocate for ourselves. Find the courage to take stock of what you're good at and get compensated for your work.When it comes to investing,  you need to find a way to make your money do more than sit in a bank account where it's not keeping up with inflation.Remember, building wealth is a journey. Identify opportunities you feel you can tackle, avoid compulsive thinking, and don't forget to be present!If you would like to reach out and ask me a question, contact me on IStruggling with money chaos and ADHD? Start your money transformation with my ADHD Financial Kickstarter session. A one on one meeting where we'll dive into into your unique situation and build a personalized roadmap tailored to you. No generic advice—just clear, actionable steps to transform your relationship with money. One premium session, one comprehensive plan, zero subscriptions. Book your call today! shamelessmoney.com/adhd-financial-kickstartLearn more about ADHD-friendly financial coaching Follow me on YouTubeSubscribe to the newsletter

Reverse budgeting is the most ADHD-friendly way to down spending money into different categories.Tracking your expenses and coming to terms with where your money's going is essential in developing a better relationship with your money. Apps - like Honeydue - are great tools to begin budgeting.The most important part of reverse budgeting is identifying your goals. When you get your paycheck, put a portion of that money toward your goals first. The remainder will go toward your expenses. Any money left over is bonus money and is up to your discretion to spend or put back toward one of your goals.Debit Cards vs Credit CardsA debit card gives you the tangible feeling of spending real money instead of a credit card, which can feel like fake money that isn't yours.Once you hit zero, you're out of cash until your next paycheck unless you use a credit card. And if you're using a credit card, you know you've gone over your budget.Over time, as you become more familiar with your spending habits, you can adjust your categories to avoid falling short. Putting in the work ahead of time will increase your chances of being successful.Use a Balance SheetA balance sheet is a list of your assets, liabilities, debts, and money you have in savings or investments and helps illustrate if you’re on the right path to accomplish your goals.After you've created that list, decide what the first item on that list you need to address, such as a high-interest credit card, building an emergency fund, or starting an investment account. Putting in the work ahead of time pays off.  The last thing you want to do is dip into your savings or any cash reserves you've set aside as a buffer.ADHD brains loves having a buffer!Using a balance sheet will also help you take control and feel empowered having control over your money. Once you get the clutter of money stress out of your brain, you have a whole world of opportunity.Listener Question: Managing a One-Time Gift of Money"My father has always been working class. He wants to provide for me what he never had, a leg up in life. Now that I'm coming of age, I'm about to receive a one-time gift of more money in assets than I've ever seen in my life. I want to honor the spirit of his action. What can I do to make sure I can trust myself and not treat this like I have every other windfall?"I recommend having a conversation with your father to understand why he's giving you the money and if he has any expectations on what he would like you to do with it.Another suggestion would be envisioning what you want out of your life in 5-20 years, and find a way to put the money to work in a way that's going to help you achieve your unique dreams and goals.If anyone out there has a question for me, send it to me at ADHDmoneytalk.com. Have a great rest of your week. Keep on keeping on, and we'll talk to you soon.Want to work with me?Check out my ADHD Planning & Coaching serviceHelp Me Out!Struggling with money chaos and ADHD? Start your money transformation with my ADHD Financial Kickstarter session. A one on one meeting where we'll dive into into your unique situation and build a personalized roadmap tailored to you. No generic advice—just clear, actionable steps to transform your relationship with money. One premium session, one comprehensive plan, zero subscriptions. Book your call today! shamelessmoney.com/adhd-financial-kickstartLearn more about ADHD-friendly financial coaching Follow me on YouTubeSubscribe to the newsletter

ADHD money struggles often contribute to anxiety, stress, and strain in relationships. Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, a psychotherapist specializing in anxiety, gas lighting, narcissistic abuse, and ADHD, is joining us today to help us better understand how money and ADHD affect our relationships. Dr. Sarkis is the author of seven books, including 'ADD And Your Money,' a nationally certified and licensed mental health counselor, an American Mental Health Counselor Association Diplomat in the Florida Supreme Court, and a certified family and surrogate mediator. Her latest book, 'Healing From Toxic Relationships,' will be released on July 26, 2022.The Potential for Toxicity in ADHD/Non-ADHD RelationshipsPeople with ADHD are more susceptible to abuse because of low self-esteem, so that they may find themselves highly attracted to an organized non-ADHD person. The flip side of that attraction could result in controlling behavior. For example, your non-ADHD partner knows you struggle with money, so they tell you they'll manage your entire paycheck, and in return, they'll provide you with an allowance or spending money. It won't take long before you feel like you've lost your freedom and you may be in an abusive relationship. If this happens, talk to your partner; they may not even realize they're doing it. It could be a behavior they saw in their home growing up, and it feels natural. If you and your partner cannot address the issue, try talking to an objective third party like a therapist, financial planner, or financial coach. Financial Infidelity in an ADHD householdFinancial infidelity is when a partner buys something and either tries to hide or downplay its significance to avoid conflict. Splurging on a big-ticket item occasionally is fine as long as you discuss it with your partner beforehand and devise a plan to save and budget your money to make that purchase.   Not everyone with ADHD finds themselves in toxic relationships. It's vital to constantly communicate with the people in your life so you can focus on the things that are going well and minimize those that aren't.Executive Functions Affect How We Manage Money Executive functions are housed in the prefrontal cortex of the brain. They take in information, process it, disseminate it, and organize it, all of which challenge people with ADHD. These functions include forethought, long-term thinking, mood regulation, impulsivity, and changing rule sets. For example, say you're playing a card game, and somebody suddenly changes the rules. It takes a while to catch up and play with a new set of rules. It can be tricky for people with ADHD to see too far down the road because we're often just trying to get through our day. We must permit ourselves to look into the future, envision a happy life for ourselves, and determine what we need to make that happen.Your Financial TimelineDr. Sarkis suggests creating your financial timeline. Draw a line on a sheet of paper, then label the significant issues that have happened in your life, both good and bad. Struggling with money chaos and ADHD? Start your money transformation with my ADHD Financial Kickstarter session. A one on one meeting where we'll dive into into your unique situation and build a personalized roadmap tailored to you. No generic advice—just clear, actionable steps to transform your relationship with money. One premium session, one comprehensive plan, zero subscriptions. Book your call today! shamelessmoney.com/adhd-financial-kickstartLearn more about ADHD-friendly financial coaching Follow me on YouTubeSubscribe to the newsletter