Are you ready to learn how to have better sex? Pay close attention to this incredible episode with sex expert Lawrence Lanoff. Lawrence is a best-selling author and award-winning filmmaker who’s here to open your eyes to a whole new kind of sex. Lawrence will explain how sexual energy functions and why it’s so important in creative pursuits. Hear as we take a deep dive into tantric sex and talk about how it can enhance pleasure between partners! Find Out More About Lawrence Here: Lawrence Lanoff Lawrence Lanoff on Facebook Lawrence Lanoff on LinkedIn In This Episode: [01:52] - Lawrence starts things off by sharing his story, revealing how his early experiences have shaped his life and path. [05:01] - When did Lawrence start practicing tantra with other people, as in tantric sex? [07:24] - Lawrence discusses what tantra is, and how you can use it to take normal sex to a whole new level. [10:21] - Stephan talks about his interview with Jaiya on this podcast, relating some points he learned from her to what Lawrence has been saying. [12:27] - What’s the framework that underpins tantra, and why does that framework work so well for so many people? [16:33] - The reason Lawrence feels so strongly about this is that after traveling the world teaching, he has discovered that people always have questions about tantra, no matter where in the world he is. [18:38] - Lawrence’s experience is that most people are unable to articulate their fantasies to their partner, or to share them openly. He then discusses why so much of our sexual exploration in our culture is related to porn. [21:04] - Lawrence’s views on porn aren’t black and white, he explains, and in certain situations it can be a good choice. Stephan then talks about the ways in which porn can be problematic. [26:12] - We hear about what it means to be turned on and existing in that state without just rushing for the ejaculation. A natural consequence of this, Lawrence explains, is foreplay. [28:42] - Stephan talks about the fact that pornography is two-dimensional and performance-based, not reality. [31:20] - Lawrence compares tantra to a college class that you actually get to have fun studying. [31:55] - One of the exercises Lawrence recommends is taking the time to slow down and create safe space with your partner. [35:29] - For a lot of people, Lawrence explains, the issue is accepting that pleasure is okay. [36:25] - Lawrence talks about multiple orgasms for men. [39:56] - The first step is understanding what is possible in terms of expanding pleasure and your runway. [43:15] - Stephan points out that this isn’t about being hedonistic, but rather that it’s sacred. He recommends listeners check out his conversation with Dr. Pat Allen. [45:34] - Lawrence talks about how the chakras relate to tantric sex. They’re a metaphor for understanding or thinking about energy, he explains. [51:33] - Lawrence discusses connecting sexual energy all the way from the root to the brain and the crown. [53:00] - Stephan talks about an exercise that he did, similar to the energy work Lawrence has been talking about. [54:34] - What are Lawrence’s thoughts on squirting? It’s not about the physical act, he explains, so much as what goes into allowing that to happen. [57:50] - How can people reach Lawrence? Links and Resources: Lawrence Lanoff Lawrence Lanoff on Facebook Lawrence Lanoff on LinkedIn The Truth by Neil Strauss Miss Jaiya on the Optimized Geek Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill Mantak Chia Reid Mihalko Monique Darling Dr. Pat Allen on the Optimized Geek Yab Yum

Ari Meisel joins me today to explain why multitasking is a problem and what you can do instead. Multitasking involves rapidly switching between two or more tasks, resulting in a lack of focus and attention. Ari and I discuss his top secrets to success, how to optimize your time, and the idea of work-life integration. Listen and get valuable tips about how to live your best optimized daily life! Find Out More About Ari Here: Less Doing, More Living @arimeisel on Twitter @arimeisel on Instagram Ari Meisel on LinkedIn   In This Episode: [02:02] - Ari talks about how he overcame Crohn’s disease, and how his book came out of that journey. [05:16] - How is Ari’s methodology different from Getting Things Done (GTD)? [07:09] - Ari discusses biohacking, talking about the HumanCharger and explaining what it is and how it works. Stephan points out how helpful it can be with jet lag. [10:55] - Did Ari cover stem cell therapies in his book Intro to Biohacking? He answers, then he and Stephan talk about triathlons and Tough Mudder. [13:57] - Ari talks about his top secrets to success in terms of optimizing time. He first recommends throwing out the concept of work-life balance in favor of the idea of work-life integration. [17:35] - Stephan talks about Keith Cunningham’s idea of having a thinking chair, and then Ari brings up an example involving Salvador Dalí. In terms of triggers, Ari uses his phone as his trigger. [20:22] - Ari shares his thoughts on Slack, explaining why it’s such a valuable tool for team communications. [22:20] - Multitasking doesn’t actually exist, Ari explains. Instead, what we think is multitasking is rapidly switching back and forth between tasks. [24:25] - How do you figure out when your 90-minute peak time is, and how do you maximize that time? [28:34] - Stephan just bought the ŌURA ring and is excited to try it out. Ari then talks about how he uses this ring. [30:50] - Is Ari using TrueDark glasses to help him sleep? Is he doing blood sugar monitoring throughout the day? [33:58] - Ari discusses other tools, in addition to Slack, that he likes for automating, delegating, and team communication. [36:19] - When does Ari use Trello versus Airtable? He answers with helpful information about both. He and Stephan then talk about kanban. [40:36] - Ari uses Zapier and Ifttt to connect Trello with other applications. He describes when he would use one versus the other. [42:02] - Does Ari have any tool, training, or online course to walk people through how he uses all these various tools? Yes, he has a membership site called the Less Doing Labs. [44:58] - Ari describes the biggest difference in his life between now and two years ago. His answer involves the Amazon Echo. [47:27] - What are the most important things that Ari wants listeners to get from this conversation, or things that we haven’t touched on yet? Links and Resources: Less Doing, More Living @arimeisel on Twitter @arimeisel on Instagram Ari Meisel on LinkedIn Less Doing, More Living Less Doing Podcast Getting Things Done (GTD) David Allen on the Optimized Geek HumanCharger Biohacker Summit ARX Fit Dave Asprey on the Optimized Geek Intro to Biohacking by Ari Meisel Dr. Harry Adelson on the Optimized Geek Tough Mudder Keith Cunningham Alter ego concept by Todd Herman Salvador Dalí Slack Cal Newport on the Optimized Geek Attention residue Flow state Heart rate variability (HRV) ŌURA ring CNS Tap Test Human Performance app TrueDark Viome Asana Trello Airtable Intercom Kanban Zapier Ifttt Less Doing Labs ManyChat Twilio Rodeo Reminders Infusionsoft ScheduleOnce Calendly Amazon Echo Alexa Skills    

Have you ever felt that you’re unloveable or not good enough? We develop coping mechanisms to deal with these feelings. There are four types of limiting stories that we all tell ourselves  If you’re ready to shed the stories that hold you back, you’ve come to the right place. Pamela Bruner is joining me to give you the tools to move beyond these stories and dismantle your coping mechanisms. Find Out More About Pamela Here: Make Your Success Real Pamela Bruner Music Pamela Bruner on Facebook Pamela Bruner on LinkedIn Real Social Media Success In This Episode: [03:09] - Pamela started creating models to explain business growth, and shares one thing that cuts across all levels of business. [05:15] - What are the most common mindset blocks or limitations that Pamela comes across? In her answer, she talks about the four limiting stories that all of us have in some combination. [09:17] - Pamela discusses a coping mechanism that she had in response to feeling that she wasn’t lovable. [10:27] - Stephan’s limiting story is the “not good enough” story, he explains, and digs into how this has been the case for him. [12:34] - What does Pamela think Stephan’s coping mechanism would be in his situation? She turns the question around, encouraging him to explore the answer to this himself. [17:02] - Pamela moves into discussing what you should do about your limiting stories and the resulting coping mechanisms once you recognize them. [20:25] - What Pamela has been saying reminds Stephan of one of Byron Katie’s four questions, which is, “what would life be like if this thought didn’t exist?” [22:10] - Pamela uses her business as an example of moving beyond one’s limiting story and the resulting coping mechanisms. Stephan then connects Pamela’s strategy to a Kabbalah concept. [25:27] - Another coping mechanism that Pamela sees is hard work. She then points out that whatever comes up when you’re tired or low on resources is probably part of your coping strategy. [27:48] - Pamela shares a way to have a conversation with the critical little voice inside and transform it into something more useful. [30:54] - Stephan heard a similar analogy a few weeks ago at the Bulletproof Conference. [33:42] - We learn that Stephan is also a fan of EFT through a story he shares about his experiences in being able to do things that he had previously been terrified of. [36:13] - How did Pamela end up getting a book deal with Jack Canfield? [39:11] - Pamela discusses the fact that she did most of the writing on the book she co-wrote with Jack Canfield, and reveals that she enjoyed collaborating with him. [39:55] - Pamela talks about her journey from $375 a month to a million dollars in less than three years. [42:57] - We hear about Pamela’s experience with joint venture partners. [43:55] - How often does Pamela tap, and is she doing her own tapping or working with a coach? [44:57] - Pamela has a short video series called Tapping to Double Your Income, which you can find at this link! [45:53] - Are there any other contributors to success that Pamela wants to share with listeners? [48:22] - Stephan offers Pamela the opportunity to list any specific tools that she has found to be helpful. Links and Resources: Make Your Success Real Pamela Bruner Music Pamela Bruner on Facebook Pamela Bruner on LinkedIn Tapping Into Ultimate Success: How to Overcome Any Obstacle and Skyrocket Your Results Real Social Media Success Jack Canfield Chicken Soup for the Soul JVX Live War Room Mastermind Roland Frasier Byron Katie on the Optimized Geek Kabbalah EFT Bulletproof Conference Kristen Ulmer on Stellar Life The Art of Fear by Kristen Ulmer Fred Gallo on the Optimized Geek Louise Hay EMDR Tapping to Double Your Income Yehuda Ashkenazi on the Optimized Geek DigitalMarketer  

Nick Loper is an expert at helping people earn money outside of their day job.  He’s here to explore the possibility of starting a side hustle and to give it the attention it deserves. You know you need to follow your passion, but getting started may sound daunting or even impossible. The first step, as you’ll learn today, is to start and develop a side hustle. He’ll share his successful tactics, strategies, and tools that  have helped many people develop a side hustle without completely sacrificing their work-life balance. Find Out More About Nick Here: Side Hustle Nation Nick Loper on LinkedIn @SideHustleNation on Facebook @nloper on Instagram @nloper on Twitter In This Episode: [02:05] - How can somebody with a full-time job augment their income with a side hustle without losing their job? In his answer, he discusses several tiers, starting with services like Uber and Lyft. [05:44] - Nick discusses getting into value-based pricing. [06:49] - The third tier is the e-commerce revolution, Nick reveals, and digs into the specifics. [10:10] - Nick and Stephan talk more about the downsides and risks of working with Fulfillment by Amazon. [12:21] - The fourth tier is the authority business model, which involves establishing yourself as an authority in a specific subject. [15:43] - Stephan does some of this fourth-tier work, he reveals. He then talks about his publisher and what the pitch process was like. [18:40] - Stephan thinks it’s business karma that when you share massive value, you’ll receive massive value in exchange. He gives a specific example to illustrate what he means. [21:21] - How do you incorporate these four tiers into your life so that you’re not in danger of losing your job and still have time for yourself and your family? [25:02] - We hear about the Three Lists of Freedom by Chris Ducker, as well as the value of finding a virtual assistant. [28:17] - Stephan talks about onboarding for virtual assistant positions, and describes his process, which involves his virtual assistant completing many tasks. [35:22] - We hear a story about Stephan’s process of finding his VA. [37:33] - Nick talks about what he does once he has a VA and is ready to take their tasks to the next level. Stephan then offers some advice based on what he did at the beginning of his career, including an entertaining story about taking risks. [42:34] - All of this goes back to being so good that you can’t be ignored, Nick points out. [44:36] - What are some standard operating procedures that have really made a difference in Nick’s business? [46:21] - Stephan raves about the value of checklists for the people who are working for you. [48:07] - Nick takes the opportunity to discuss any other kinds of processes or systems beyond just checklists that he uses. [50:26] - Is Nick nervous about his work on Facebook, in the sense that Facebook owns his community in a sense? [51:44] - Nick discusses the next steps for listeners who want to work with him or learn more about what he’s been saying. [52:41] - We hear about where the bulk of Nick’s own income comes from. [53:39] - Nick shares some final words of wisdom for listeners regarding the difference between people who have success at a side hustle and people who stay on the sidelines. Links and Resources: Side Hustle Nation Nick Loper on LinkedIn @SideHustleNation on Facebook @nloper on Instagram @nloper on Twitter Side Hustle Show podcast Uber Lyft Amazon Fulfillment by Amazon Shopify Google AdWords Piano in 21 Days Udemy Clickbank O’Reilly Media Rand Fishkin Danny Sullivan SMX Advanced Search Engine Watch Search Engine Land Moz Tim Ferriss on the Optimized Geek Three Lists of Freedom Chris Ducker Carolyn Ketchum on Marketing Speak OkayRelax Cal Newport on the Optimized Geek Deep Work by Cal Newport So Good They Can’t Ignore You by Cal Newport Way We Do Process Street BuddyPress Memberium sidehustlenation.com/ideas aTimeLogger toggl  

Joey Coleman is here to teach you to be a better communicator with audiences and customers alike. We’re all familiar with the concept of a sales funnel, but it has one big problem: the bottom is much smaller than the top. The key to fixing this problem isn’t attracting more people to your funnel. You need to make the bottom opening of your funnel bigger by creating lifelong, enthusiastic customers. Find Out More About Joey Here: joey@joeycoleman.comJoeycoleman.com @thejoeycoleman on TwitterJoey Coleman on LinkedInNever Lose a Customer Again by Joey Coleman In This Episode: [02:10] - How long was Joey a Platinum Partner with Tony Robbins? [05:00] - Stephan shares a story about a time that the universe conspired to allow his life to change for the better. [08:24] - Joey talks about what some of his favorite speaking events are. He then discusses how he knows whether he has succeeded in getting his audiences to act differently. [12:57] - Joey feels fortunate in that people have been very giving with testimonials and case studies praising his work. [14:33] - Does Joey use some sort of action to get people to commit to change in a meaningful, powerful way? [18:13] - Stephan digs deeper into Joey’s mention of sending a handwritten thank-you card or gift box. Joey then elaborates on the importance of thank-you notes and how meaningful they are. [22:42] - Like a thank-you card or letter, another thing that people don’t throw out is a book, Stephan points out. [25:53] - Joey makes a recommendation for listeners who want to learn about strategic gift-giving. [27:29] - Does Joey have any sort of video challenges in place? Not yet, he answers, but is in the process of setting up something along those lines. [31:29] - Joey discusses how he plans to form a community rallied around the video program he’s just been discussing. [34:32] - How many speeches does Joey typically do in a year? He answers, then he and Stephan talk more about speaking organizations and some excellent speakers. [40:45] - Joey digs more deeply into the types of speaking he prefers to do. He then points out the ratio of books written about what happens before someone becomes a customer compared to after someone becomes a customer. [43:00] - Stephan and Joey talk about Tamsen Webster and Michael Port. [46:36] - Joey begins to explain his eight-phase customer service methodology, digging into the first few steps. [49:01] - How could a consultant or coach assuage buyers’ remorse or the tendency to second-guess oneself? [51:53] - We reach the fourth phase: activate. Joey explains what this means, and explores this and the following phase of his program. [55:55] - Phase six is accomplish, which is when the customer accomplishes the goal they had when they decided to start working with you. [57:21] - If you accomplish that goal, you move to stage seven, where the customer adopts you. [57:47] - Only after adoption can we move into stage eight: advocate. This is when the customer raves about you to their friends and family. [60:37] - Joey explains what his goal was in creating this eight-phase methodology. [62:10] - Joey offers his email address: joey@joeycoleman.com. Links and Resources: joey@joeycoleman.com joeycoleman.com @thejoeycoleman on Twitter Joey Coleman on LinkedIn Never Lose a Customer Again by Joey Coleman Tony Robbins Platinum Partnership Unleash the Power Within Giftology by John Ruhlin Stephan Spencer’s 5 Day SEO Maximizer Challenge National Speakers Association Steve Spangler Toastmasters Jay Baer on Marketing Speak Steve Spangler on Marketing Speak Experience This! Tamsen Webster on Marketing Speak Michael Port on the Optimized Geek

Nick Sonnenberg, cofounder of Leverage and the former CEO of Calvin App, is a serial entrepreneur with a passion for creating companies that disrupt the way people live. He’s here to help you automate the mundane aspects of your life to minimize (or eliminate) the time you spend on stuff that doesn’t bring you joy. Find Out More About Nick Here: Leverage Nicholas Sonnenberg on LinkedIn Nick Sonnenberg on Facebook @nicholassonnenberg on Instagram Idea to Execution by Ari Meisel and Nick Sonnenberg In This Episode: [01:22] - Nick starts things off by discussing how to gain leverage, which he explains is a topic that applies to both your business life and your personal life. He then goes through some of his favorite hacks for getting time back. [04:12] - Stephan digs into the concept of inbox zero that Nick brought up. Nick then offers his advice for managing email. [09:30] - In response to Nick’s advice to filtering some things straight to your archive, Stephan points out that he receives some things from mailing lists that he really needs to see. Nick then offers his advice for this situation. [11:57] - It’s very tough to find someone you trust enough to manage your email for you, Nick points out. He then goes into more details about options for managing your inbox. [14:24] - The best way to get to inbox zero is to get to email zero. Nick offers some strategies for doing this. [16:04] - What’s the difference between using Slack to communicate with your team as opposed to a tool like Asana or Trello or Basecamp? [19:14] - Stephan just recently switched from Trello to Asana. [21:16] - What sort of trusted systems does Nick use or recommend? And how is he keeping track of his bookmarks? [25:21] - Nick talks about how he battles attention residue. He explains that he assigns general themes to his days. [29:02] - We hear about Nick’s forthcoming project management software and why it’s better than Trello. [33:26] - Nick clarifies what a kanban system or workstyle is. The typical flow is that you dump everything that needs to get done into a backlog, then move it from the backlog stage to the doing stage, then from the doing stage to the done stage. [35:32] - Nick discusses using a virtual assistant to get some of your time back by delegating tasks that don’t require you to do them yourself. He also goes into depth about what his company does, which is far more than just simple research and email management. [38:48] - How does the pricing for Nick’s company, Leverage, work? [41:08] - Is Nick using any sort of screenshotting tool to make sure that his contractors are being honest about their time? [43:32] - Nick talks about some other apps that his business uses and discusses his use of GitHub instead of Trello. [47:11] - Nick lists some ways to get in touch with his company if you’ve decided you want to work with them. Links and Resources: Leverage Nicholas Sonnenberg on LinkedIn Nick Sonnenberg on Facebook @nicholassonnenberg on Instagram Idea to Execution by Ari Meisel and Nick Sonnenberg CalvinApp David Allen on the Optimized Geek SaneBox    Unroll.Me Slack Asana Trello Basecamp Kanban boards on Asana Things OmniFocus Evernote Pocket Stash Inbox by Gmail Cal Newport on the Optimized Geek Deep Work by Cal Newport Calendly ScheduleOnce Infusionsoft Ontraport Mike Vardy on the Optimized Geek Tony Robbins Dropbox Google Drive Upwork CloudApp ScreenShow Intercom Chargify Stripe GitHub Cisco Mode Analytics Zendesk hello@getleverage.com (if you’re interested in Leverage’s coaching program)  

Dr. Robert Pope is the creator of the Transperative Method as well as a healer, minister, and transformational coach. We’ll talk about how to access more power and clarity, the difference between deciding and choosing your destiny, and why you shouldn’t struggle to get ahead in life. We tend to struggle and fight against failure, a more productive response  is to meet failure with love and acceptance even as it’s happening, as difficult as that may seem. Find Out More About Robert Here: Dr. Robert Pope on LinkedIn Transperative Coaching and Mentoring Health and Happiness for Humanity In This Episode: [01:22] - Robert starts things off by discussing double binds. He then explains what muscle testing is for listeners who may not be familiar with the term. [04:58] - What is the superconscious? [07:59] - Stephan returns to the subject of a double bind, encouraging Robert to clarify it for listeners. Robert then digs into the topic of people being willing to fail. [11:22] - Robert discusses the muscle tests that come after the first round, which are future-oriented questions such as “I look forward failing/not failing.” [14:02] - Stephan takes a moment to rephrase what Robert has been saying to clarify it for listeners. [14:55] - What’s the solution to the mythology of struggle that Robert and Stephan have been talking about? [18:05] - Robert describes the fascinating phenomenon that occurs when his clients manage to switch on for all of his questions. He then discusses how he helps his clients make corrections to their beliefs. [22:31] - Most people think of themselves as their thoughts and feelings, Stephan points out, and explains why this is problematic. Robert then expands on what Stephan has been saying. [24:16] - Robert talks about why he moves his fingers in a circular pattern. [26:08] - Robert discusses GEOTRAN, in which he was certified as an instructor in 1990. [28:38] - If you were free of the concern for failing, what would be possible? Robert discusses the possibilities, and explains the role that GEOTRAN can play. [31:17] - How many concerns do you need to go through with GEOTRAN? [34:15] - Robert walks us through a mental exercise involving imaginary ice cream cones to illustrate the difference between deciding and choosing. [39:38] - Stephan and Robert discuss the fact that life happens for us, not to us. [42:00] - Our concerns are miscreations by our consciousness, Robert explains, and realizing this can help us see the difference between reality and illusion. [44:36] - Stephan talks about contrary evidence, which is a powerful tool in interviewing. Robert then expands on this and returns to talking about the roles of double binds and concerns for failing in his life. [50:00] - Robert’s job is to see people fully and then speak to that, he explains. He and Stephan point out that when you see someone differently, they show up differently. [51:52] - Robert shares a story about Ephraim Olschewski’s son to illustrate the concept of either creating or complaining. [57:57] - Robert talks about an upcoming event he has with Ephraim, which you can learn more about by contacting Robert through his website. Links and Resources: Dr. Robert Pope on LinkedIn Transperative Coaching and Mentoring Health and Happiness for Humanity Christian Mickelson on the Optimized Geek Bill Donius on the Optimized Geek Gary Vaynerchuk Deepak Chopra Byron Katie on the Optimized Geek Dr. Rupert Sheldrake Gems of Excellence Program GEOTRAN David Hawkins Landmark Ephraim Olschewski on the Optimized Geek  

Nick Cownie, a renowned expert in NLP, is here today to focus on self-improvement through NLP techniques. NLP allows you to bypass the critical faculty and go straight to the unconscious mind. By doing so, you can take control of your life in ways you may not have possibly imagined. Nick, author of the book 7 Minute Mindset, will describe the seven habits of failure and the seven factors of success as well as how to use your reticular activating system to your benefit. Find Out More About Nick Here: Nickcownie.com Nick Cownie on LinkedIn @NickCownie on Twitter Nick Cownie on Facebook Success Dynamics Institute In This Episode: [03:03] - Nick talks about mindset, explaining how his book, 7 Minute Mindset, came about. He shares that his fascination with how people’s minds work goes all the way back to his early teenage years. [07:04] - When Nick had his epiphany at age 13, did he start writing down his goals? He answers, then talks about an example of a woman who set a goal of achieving $1 million a year in passive income. [13:16] - Stephan talks about several of the strategies that Nick mentioned, then draws out the distinction that Nick made about when these techniques do (and don’t) work. [15:03] - Nick reveals that he has two vision boards in his office, but explains that he uses them smartly. He then elaborates in some depth about what this means. [19:42] - For listeners who aren’t familiar with the term, Nick explains what one’s reticular activating system is. [23:05] - Nick has already mentioned one of the seven habits of failure (unrealistic expectations); what are the other six? [25:36] - Stephan points out that there’s a third response besides fight and flight: freeze. [29:20] - Stress inoculation is fantastic, Nick explains, and says he applies it in his own life as a form of personal challenge. [32:08] - Stephan talks about the Pavlok device, which he says is a little too out-there for him. [33:56] - We come back to the seven habits of FAILURE. F is for fear; we now learn that A is for attention displacement. Next, Nick explains that I is for indecision. [35:53] - The L in FAILURE is for lack of action. The U is for unrealistic expectations. [39:44] - R stands for repeating patterns. [42:01] - E stands for external negative influences. It’s the only letter that relates to things that are outside of our own control or psychology. [43:40] - Nick discusses the ways in which failure can be a gift if you choose to take it as one. [47:29] - Part of the opportunity in Nick’s challenge is that it makes you aware of unconscious resistances that you have, Stephan points out. [49:07] - Nick provides another example involving a recent client. [51:52] - Briefly, Nick covers the seven factors of success. The letters of SUCCESS stand for strategic planning, unlearning, consistent action, comfort rezoning, entrepreneurial thinking, selective focus, and self-belief. [55:25] - Nick offers recommendations on how to learn more about him and his programs. Links and Resources: nickcownie.com Nick Cownie on LinkedIn @NickCownie on Twitter Nick Cownie on Facebook Success Dynamics Institute 7 Minute Mindset by Nick Cownie Mike Mandel on the Optimized Geek Ken Dubner on the Optimized Geek Nick Cownie on Marketing Speak Renee Piane on the Optimized Geek The Secret Reticular activating system Pavlok device Daniel J. Lewis on Marketing Speak EPIC: the Extreme Personal Improvement Challenge The EPIC Webinar  

Dr. Pat Allen, a relationship expert and transactional analyst, joins me on today’s show to explore romantic concepts in depth. She offers no-holds-barred relationship advice that’s full of value regardless of whether you’re currently single or in a relationship. Pat has been featured on Oprah several times and is the author of Getting to “I Do”. Tune into the show for more on who she is, what she does, and how much value she can offer! Find Out More About Pat Here: Drpatallen.com Dr. Pat Allen’s radio show @DrPat_Allen on Twitter DrPatAllen2 on Facebook In This Episode: [01:30] - What is Dr. Pat’s definition of a real man? In her answer, she talks about the relation between wanting to be respected and cherished, and how they relate to masculinity and femininity. [04:07] - The male soul is called the anima, and the female soul is called the animus, Dr. Pat explains. She then discusses how this relates to same-sex relationships. [06:04] - The more masculine person knows what he wants, whereas the more feminine person knows what she doesn’t want. Pat then offers two pledges: a masculine one and a feminine one. [08:02] - Pat talks about genius, explaining that it’s “information before education.” [09:05] - We learn about betas and alphas. Betas are new souls and alphas are old souls, Pat explains. She then discusses the four styles of men: feminine men, monk men, sugar daddies, and real men. [11:35] - Stephan brings up the topic of relationships built on convenience. [15:21] - Pat explains that she is a transactional analyst, not a psychoanalyst. [16:12] - What are the women’s counterparts for the four types of men that Pat has described? They’re claw women (for sugar daddies), the none (for the monk), Wendy (for Peter Pan), and the real lady (for the real man). [18:32] - Pat explains why it’s important not to have sex without commitment. She discusses broken-heart syndrome (Takotsubo cardiomyopathy). [21:52] - What form should the commitment required before sex take? [24:55] - Stephan brings up a study in which women smelled men’s t-shirts to assess their compatibility. [26:28] - Pat discusses what form of commitment the feminine woman should be asking for from the masculine man, and how he should present his interest in a way that’s not jumping in too fast. She then offers the locations and times for her workshops. [29:22] - What’s the significance of cognitive behavioral therapy? Pat answers, then discusses the fact that she records all of her sessions and why the words you use really matter. [35:16] - Whoever carries the most yin has the veto right, Pat explains. [36:00] - One step listeners can take immediately is to go to Pat’s website and get either her A Lifetime of Love series or Want Training for Effective Living. [37:28] - How has Pat’s amazing work shown up in her own relationship? She discusses how dramatically she has changed her life and shares a photo with Stephan. [40:21] - Stephan shares his own transformation with Pat. [41:25] - Pat wraps things up by asking Stephan what he learned from her today. Links and Resources: drpatallen.com Dr. Pat Allen’s radio show @DrPat_Allen on Twitter DrPatAllen2 on Facebook Getting to “I Do” by Dr. Pat Allen Yin and Yang  Way of Life by Joseph Kim and David Lee Tony Robbins Anima and animus Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell Toward a Psychology of Being by Abraham Maslow Broken-heart syndrome (Takotsubo cardiomyopathy) Dr. Pat Allen on LA Talk Radio Dr. Pat Allen’s classes and seminars Cognitive behavioral therapy Broca’s area A Lifetime of Love Want Training for Effective Living  

Today, I speak with Tamar Geller, dog trainer for the stars. Tamar is truly a dog whisperer; she’s a dog trainer and coach for Oprah, Jon Stewart, Ben Affleck, and more. Her methods have proven results, and don’t involve imposing an artificial hierarchy on dogs or forcing them to be submissive to commands. Her philosophy goes beyond dog training and involves a higher consciousness with your dog and your life. If you’re an animal lover, you’re going to love this episode! Find Out More About Tamar Here: The Loved Dog @tamar.geller on Facebook @TamarGeller on Twitter theloveddog on Instagram In This Episode: [01:41] - Tamar starts by explaining how being a pet owner can be about being mindful, not just about tricks and techniques. [04:05] - Do Tamar’s theories and techniques work with cats too, or are they specific to dogs? [05:50] - Tamar offers a couple of alternatives to the term “owner,” but clarifies that she doesn’t mind the term herself. [06:44] - What are some tips for someone whose dog seems to want to be in charge, or insists on misbehaving? As she answers, Tamar clarifies that dogs don’t care about being in charge. [08:03] - Tamar talks about the needs that dogs have. It’s when these needs aren’t met that dogs can misbehave or act out, she explains. [12:39] - The first thing you need to do with a misbehaving dog is figure out which of these needs aren’t being met. Tamar offers an example of a recent case in which she had to assess a dog’s needs. She then clarifies that each individual dog has two primary needs, and talks about why it’s important to figure these out. [18:44] - Tamar offers an example that Tony Robbins uses, and applies this to dogs. She says that we can’t expect dogs to know how to meet their needs in the right way if we only say “no!” when they do it the wrong way. [22:08] - Tamar lists several of the influences and resources that she uses in her method. She then describes why a dog might refuse to come at the dog park, and what to do about it. [25:20] - We hear about the problems with simple obedience. [27:14] - Stephan draws out the concept that Tamar has been explaining, relating it not only to dogs but also to people and even technology. [28:49] - Tamar addresses a misconception about dogs, which is the expectation that dogs give unconditional love. [34:05] - Stephan points out that a dog is a reflection of you, and if you have a short temper, it will reflect that back on you. Tamar then explains that 99% of the aggression she has seen in dogs isn’t dominance, but rather nervous aggression. [38:48] - In Tamar’s first book, she started by telling a story about her experience in Thailand several decades ago. She retells this story, and applies it to dog training. [42:18] - Tamar describes the Hoffman Process and reveals how powerful it is. [49:14] - Stephan talks about his multiple experiences with Tony Robbins’ Date With Destiny program. [51:24] - “Your quality of life will depend on how comfortable you can be with discomfort,” Tamar says, applying the concept both to dogs and people. [53:52] - What would be an example of getting out of the rut of characterization with regards to your dog? As she answers, she offers advice on how to train your dog in a way that he or she will understand. [58:00] - Stephan brings up the example of teaching a dog not to run out the door as soon as you open it. [60:29] - Tony Robbins has a saying: “Trade your expectation for appreciation, and everything will change.” What would be an example for how listeners could do this in regards to their dogs? [64:36] - How can people get in touch with Tamar to work with her? Links and Resources: The Loved Dog @tamar.geller on Facebook @TamarGeller on Twitter theloveddog on Instagram The Loved Dog by Tamar Geller Tony Robbins Alison Armstrong on the Optimized Geek Harville Hendrix on the Optimized Geek Mahatma Gandhi Maria Shriver Maverick and Me by Katherine Schwarzenegger The Hoffman Process Date With Destiny