

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive
Jen Lumanlan
Parenting is hard…but does it have to be this hard?
Wouldn’t it be better if your kids would stop pressing your buttons quite as often, and if there was a little more of you to go around (with maybe even some left over for yourself)?
On the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan M.S., M.Ed explores academic research on parenting and child development. But she doesn’t just tell you the results of the latest study - she interviews researchers at the top of their fields, and puts current information in the context of the decades of work that have come before it. An average episode reviews ~30 peer-reviewed sources, and analyzes how the research fits into our culture and values - she does all the work, so you don’t have to!
Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World (Sasquatch/Penguin Random House). The podcast draws on the ideas from the book to give you practical, realistic strategies to get beyond today’s whack-a-mole of issues. Your Parenting Mojo also offers workshops and memberships to give you more support in implementing the ideas you hear on the show.
The single idea that underlies all of the episodes is that our behavior is our best attempt to meet our needs. Your Parenting Mojo will help you to see through the confusing messages your child’s behavior is sending so you can parent with confidence: You’ll go from: “I don’t want to yell at you!” to “I’ve got a plan.”
New episodes are released every other week - there's content for parents who have a baby on the way through kids of middle school age. Start listening now by exploring the rich library of episodes on meltdowns, sibling conflicts, parental burnout, screen time, eating vegetables, communication with your child - and your partner… and much much more!
Wouldn’t it be better if your kids would stop pressing your buttons quite as often, and if there was a little more of you to go around (with maybe even some left over for yourself)?
On the Your Parenting Mojo podcast, Jen Lumanlan M.S., M.Ed explores academic research on parenting and child development. But she doesn’t just tell you the results of the latest study - she interviews researchers at the top of their fields, and puts current information in the context of the decades of work that have come before it. An average episode reviews ~30 peer-reviewed sources, and analyzes how the research fits into our culture and values - she does all the work, so you don’t have to!
Jen is the author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family - and the World (Sasquatch/Penguin Random House). The podcast draws on the ideas from the book to give you practical, realistic strategies to get beyond today’s whack-a-mole of issues. Your Parenting Mojo also offers workshops and memberships to give you more support in implementing the ideas you hear on the show.
The single idea that underlies all of the episodes is that our behavior is our best attempt to meet our needs. Your Parenting Mojo will help you to see through the confusing messages your child’s behavior is sending so you can parent with confidence: You’ll go from: “I don’t want to yell at you!” to “I’ve got a plan.”
New episodes are released every other week - there's content for parents who have a baby on the way through kids of middle school age. Start listening now by exploring the rich library of episodes on meltdowns, sibling conflicts, parental burnout, screen time, eating vegetables, communication with your child - and your partner… and much much more!
Episodes
Mentioned books

Apr 15, 2024 • 49min
209: How to get on the same page as your parenting partner
The podcast discusses common arguments between parenting partners, exploring communication challenges and ways to align parenting strategies. Insights from the Gottman method are shared, addressing destructive behaviors like criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. It provides tips on effective communication, building a culture of appreciation, and navigating responsibilities and emotional validation within relationships.

Apr 8, 2024 • 52min
208: Three reasons why setting limits is hard (and what to do about each of them)
Discover why setting limits is challenging for parents and how it can be detrimental to children's emotional well-being. Explore alternative approaches to setting boundaries that prioritize understanding and meeting children's needs over control and consequences.

Apr 1, 2024 • 1h 11min
207: How to not be a permissive parent
The podcast explores a listener's struggles with permissive parenting and unruly children. The host delves into the delicate balance between meeting children's needs and setting boundaries. Practical tips are shared to help parents navigate challenging family dynamics and promote respectful interactions.

Mar 25, 2024 • 1h 22min
206: How to find yourself as a parent
Struggling with parenting challenges? Tune in to hear real parents share their experiences and get valuable insights from a coaching call. Explore topics like setting limits, balancing needs, handling judgment, fostering connections, and understanding children's emotions. Find support, empathy, and practical advice in this engaging episode.

Mar 11, 2024 • 59min
205: How patriarchy hurts us…all of us
I have to admit, I’m a bit scared to say it…
The P-word…
“Patriarchy.”(Phew! I did it!)I know some listeners find it hard to hear.
I’ve spoken with more than one woman who has told me: “I sent your podcast to my husband but then he heard the word “Patriarchy” and it was all over.
There’s some sadness there for me, for sure.
Every time I talk about patriarchy I talk about how much it hurts me and those of us who identify as women – but I also talk about how much it hurts men as well. And that’s not just lip service: I truly believe that patriarchy has robbed men of a full emotional life.
I was talking with a parent in the Parenting Membership recently who asked her husband if he ever felt truly seen and understood. He said ‘no,’ and ended the conversation. She cried as she told me: “I feel so sad for him that he doesn’t know that he could be seen and understood, so he doesn’t even realize he’s missing it.”
We can know these things conceptually, and we can think that patriarchy kind of sucks, but maybe we think there’s not a lot we can do about it. After all, isn’t the man the one who really needs to change?
Member Iris and I had had a conversation in the membership a couple of months before I was in Vancouver for the Parenting Beyond Power book tour, where she mentioned that she’d been thinking a lot about how patriarchy shows up in her life. We made plans to get together to record an episode while I was in town – and here it is!
Iris and I discuss:
The power and control that men held over women and girls as she grew up in the Philippines, including casting out female family members with out-of-wedlock pregnancies, while nothing happened to the men who got them pregnant (and lest we think this couldn't possibly happen where we live, men have very real power over women's pregnancies in the United States as well right now too...)
How she sees herself catering to her husband’s needs - adjusting her daily schedule to his; eating what he wanted for dinner even if she preferred something different; perceiving that he expects her to do more than half of the household, even though neither of them works for income;
Patriarchal messages that are being passed on to her daughter about the value of marriage, children, and meeting men’s needs.
Even though she’s no longer in the Philippines, Iris still sees patriarchy in her relationship with her husband and daughter. She even sees how it hurts her husband, who is looked down upon in our culture because he doesn't present in a typically 'masculine' way.
She shares the practices she’s using to pass on different messages to her daughter about a woman’s role in a family and in the world.
But I don’t think we should only have these kinds of conversations with our daughters. We should also talk with our boys about their feelings, and encourage them to fully experience their pain, hurt, and joy, and teach them that it’s OK to care about other people and not be an island that feels no pain and never cries.
Enjoy this beautiful conversation with Iris.
Parenting Beyond Power
Parenting is tough, but when we shift away from traditional power dynamics to collaboration, family life becomes smoother today.
Conventional discipline methods may temporarily stop challenging behaviors, but they reinforce harmful lessons about power and control. Parenting Beyond Power offers a groundbreaking framework to understand and meet our children's needs, fostering respect and empathy.
With sample scripts and practical resources, Parenting Beyond Power empowers you to transform your parenting journey.
Get your copy now! Click the banner to learn more:
Jump to highlights
00:49 Introducing today’s guest and topic
06:30 Iris discusses the impact of patriarchy on her family, revealing how gender roles and expectations affected her parents' dynamics and sense of self-worth.
12:52 Iris discusses her family's emotional dynamics and the lasting impact of patriarchal double standards on her parenting approach.
17:51 Iris reflects on her teenage years, grappling with societal norms and confronting patriarchal expectations in her relationships.
22:35 Iris cuts her hair short in defiance of patriarchal norms, challenging traditional notions of feminine beauty and reclaiming her autonomy.
24:21 Iris reflects on societal pressures and gender roles within her marriage, highlighting the challenges of conforming to traditional expectations.
33:31 Iris encourages daughter Malaya's autonomy, challenges traditional gender roles, and fosters open communication within the family.
41:07 Women play a part in perpetuating patriarchal norms in families and should strive to empower daughters through shared decision-making and open dialogue.
44:29 Iris stresses the value of rest for herself, challenging the idea that productivity determines worth, especially under capitalism.
46:16 Iris reflects on the dynamics of waiting for male approval and envisions a future where her daughter confidently asserts herself.
49:19 Jen introduces three actionable steps for listeners to implement the ideas discussed in the episode.

Feb 19, 2024 • 44min
204: How to create more time by taking care of yourself
Explore the journey of a parent striving for perfection despite a challenging upbringing. Learn about the impact of family dynamics on parenting styles and the struggles of navigating motherhood in isolation. Delve into managing triggers, self-improvement, relationships, and the transformative power of self-reflection in conscious parenting.

Feb 12, 2024 • 57min
203: How to move toward anti-racism with Kerry Cavers
Guest: Kerry Cavers, Founder of Moms Against Racism Candada. Topics: Moving toward anti-racism, understanding racism in Canada, unlearning racism, roles of white and racialized people, addressing a child's back-to-school anxiety, creating a safe environment, participating in speaking engagements.

Feb 5, 2024 • 49min
Q&A#5: What really matters in parenting? Part 1
The podcast discusses what decisions in parenting really matter using research-based ideas. It explores the impact of socio-economic status on children, parenting practices, the input and output of parenting decisions, parenting challenges and burnout, and aligning parenting with values.

4 snips
Jan 29, 2024 • 54min
202: How to Heal from Adverse Childhood Experiences with Dr. Nadine Burke Harris and Jackie Thu-Huong Wong
Dr. Nadine Burke Harris, a leading physician and former Surgeon General of California, joins Jackie Thu-Huong Wong, Executive Director of First 5 California, to discuss the profound effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) on health. They explore how ACEs influence both mental and physical well-being, stressing the importance of supportive adult relationships in fostering resilience. The duo also shares insights on authoritative parenting styles and introduces a new feature offering varying levels of engagement for parents interested in these crucial topics.

Jan 15, 2024 • 1h 2min
201: How to create a culture of consent in our families
201: How to create a culture of consent in our families explores the challenges of getting children to comply and the importance of consent in parenting. It discusses the influence of culture, media, and personal experiences on our perception of consent. The podcast also explores slut-shaming and the need to establish a culture of consent within families. It offers practical tips for honoring children's autonomy and fostering effective communication. Overall, the episode provides insights into creating a harmonious and respectful environment for children to thrive.


