The Leadership Habit

Crestcom International

Welcome to the Leadership Habit podcast from the Crestcom Leadership Institute, the show that brings you inspiration and information to help you transform your leadership style. We use our experience developing leaders in over 60 countries worldwide to help you develop the skills and tools you need to reach your leadership potential, join us in our mission to create a better world by developing stronger, more ethical leaders. How can you make leadership a habit today?

Episodes

Mentioned books

Oct 14, 2022 • 39min

How to be a More Influential Leader with Anthony DeMario

Oct 7, 2022 • 52min

Transforming Your Crisis Response with Workforce Wellness Expert, John Robertson

Transforming Your Crisis Response with Workforce Wellness Expert, John Robertson In this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit Podcast, Jenn DeWall sat down with John Robertson to talk about how to transform your traditional crisis response. John Robertson is the founder and president of FORTLOG Services, and John built his services with a focus on an encouragement-based approach, resolving root causes as opposed to treating crisis and transition in the workplace. Symptomatically as is often the practice, a trusted thinking partner with 30-plus years of assisting individuals and organizations manage all forms of crisis and change. John leverages a values-anchored ethos as a leadership development specialist helping organizations and individuals to define the new norm and thrive. And I hope you enjoy the conversation, is John and I talk about how you can transform your traditional crisis response by running toward the roar. Full Transcript Below Jenn DeWall: Hello. Hello, hello everyone. I am so excited to be here talking about how to transform your crisis response, which I’m sure if you’re listening to this, you could probably think of a crisis that your organization or team has today. And that’s why we brought John Robertson to have this conversation with us to understand what do we do if we’re us as leaders are faced in a crisis. So John, thank you so much for joining us on The Leadership Habit. We are so happy to have you. I’m excited to have this conversation because I feel like crisis is just a norm. Again. John Robertson: Yes it is. It sure is. And honestly, it’s my honor to be here and I truly appreciate some of the work that you and Leadership Habit are doing. So it been some great shows I’ve listened to and received blessings from. So look forward to being part of it. Jenn DeWall: Hey, I’m excited to hear we’re gonna be talking about your book Run Toward the Roar. So how to transform your crisis response. What? Run toward the roar? I think that if I think of my natural crisis response at work, of course if I’m out at home, I think I respond differently. I have a tendency to shut down, right? That’s when the stress and the anxiety takes in. And we’re gonna be going into your book and I’m so excited to talk about it again because we know if you’re a leader right now, you’re likely dealing with, and I hate to use this word, unprecedented changes events that you haven’t foresee. But before we dive into it, John, could you go ahead and just tell us a little bit about you? I love the good origin story. How did you come to be? How did you even come to write this book? The Event is Never the Crisis – The Response is the Crisis John Robertson: Couple things. Stand out on the journey. First of all, one of the things that I know is my strength overused, sorry, our strength overused is our greatest weakness. And one of the things that’s always bothered me is the number of people who spend their lives reacting to things instead of, Okay, well rather than always reacting that circus or fair game called Whack-a-mole, rather than playing Whack-a-mole with your life, why don’t we decide what’s important and grow towards it? And so I ended up taking that approach in my first, I started out as a minister, a clergy pastor. Everybody’s got a different name for it. And one of the things that happens is when people are dealing with significant events and first thing to remember about crisis is the event is never the real crisis. And that’s one of the biggest problems that happens in our workplaces today. We react. Jenn DeWall: What do you mean? The event is never the crisis? John Robertson: It’s never the real crisis. So for example, if Billy Bob or Susie Q- pick a name out of the air- dies on their way to work, employee assistance programs and onsite intervention specialists may be called to meet with the workplace because that person died on the way to work. Well that might not be a crisis because as cold as it sounds, they might not be the most popular person in the workplace. Now it’s creating a whole other situation. On the other hand, and I’m being rude, but at the same time I’m gonna push you, Jenn, if you think back over your journey, I can personally guarantee you you’ve had an event that people may not be aware of and you’re shocked at how some people have treated you like you have a highly contagious disease. And other people who have said, Wow, what can I do? It’s never the event. Whatever has happened to you, you’re not the first person that’s had it happen. How people respond to its impact on you is more important than what it the event was. So in the workplace, a beloved employee gets cancer and it’s a terminal diagnosis. Or a divorce. Think about some of the more commonplace things. And the one that we hear a lot about is people working from home while others have to go into the office or flip side, people leaving for a new employer and the gang that loved working with that person are now left behind. Okay. So people leave for new work all the time. That’s not a a spectacular event. However, the crisis, which is never the event, the crisis now is how is that organization going to deal with that super popular, you know, the torch bearer if you will, now that they’re gone, how, what are they gonna do to keep their people in alignment going forward? And so I was doing crisis interventions for some employee assistance programs are called EAPs. And I realized they’re making huge coin out of reacting to events. But two to three months later, the organizations are no different. And leaders, majority of them, especially in that mid-senior level, want to help their people. They wanna help the organization, but they’re exhausting, burning themselves out, reacting to events. So Run Toward The Roar is a premise around human instinct is like you just said, many of us turtle or cocoon, when we’re greeted with conflict or fear. Yeah. And human instinct is fight, flight, freeze, appease. Normal reactions to abnormal events by a normal person. And what happens is when we train and when we focus and when we realign, what’s a priority for us? What’s a value to us? What we are passionate about, then when those moments happen, instead of reacting like a normal human being, we, yeah, we get our walls up, our Charlie horses, but we stay focused on what’s of value so that we Run Toward the Roar. And the term out of that is called pati fidelis. Pati is the root word of passion. Fidelis is the root word of fidelity of faithfulness, of loyalty. And so let me, and I don’t wanna pry, but Jenn, have you ever been in a situation, and I’m asking you closed questions on purpose. Have you ever been in a situation where you got an emotional, spiritual, relational, moral, psychological charlie horse? Jenn DeWall: Yes, absolutely. John Robertson: Have you, did it happen around something that you cared deeply about? Jenn DeWall: Yeah, typically. John Robertson: Okay. Did you cocoon or did you find a way to get back in and grow forward that gap back in the game and keep going? Jenn DeWall: It’s hard to answer that as a yes or no. Okay. Because you know, sometimes it’s the cocoon. But sometimes going back to the stress response, it’s the, I find myself in the fight or appease ones of like, that’s, that’s typically where I land. John Robertson: And what happens? Jenn DeWall: Sometimes I’ll go like this if I’m like, Oh gosh. But like then my values get into play and I’m like bring it on John Robertson: <Laugh>. And which you just perfectly articulated is the premise behind Run Toward the Roar. And that means we have to address the relationships in our lives, the connections we have to address, identify what our values are, we have to identify what our mindset is, what we think, how we cognitively prepare ourselves. And then of course emotionally, physically, and so forth. Jenn DeWall: Yes. And so it’s really just, it’s the whole facet of like our foundational, I guess, understanding our emotions, treating the person, treating that first and what we’re going to do to respond. Is that a different way to say that or a little bit? John Robertson: No, absolutely. And emotions are definitely part of it. But sometimes we get, a friend of ours use the term stinky thinking and it’s not emotions, it’s just the rats in the attic is the old expression. But our thinking goes down the toilet bowl in a royal flush and, and telling ourselves to stop thinking that way is as effective as me saying, Don’t think about a pink pickup truck. That’s ridiculous. Don’t think about a pink pickup truck. Yeah. Now that’s really helpful. But those key relationships are vital because they can help us address that stinky thinking rather than telling ourselves. Jenn DeWall: I love that. Well, and it’s just the plan for how to approach it. So I know you touched on a few of this, like, so what are the obstacles or where do you think organizations get their crisis response wrong? I mean, one from what you just said is there they’re looking in the wrong place at what to address. Right? John Robertson: So I want you to, because I’m a child at heart, some see people say childish, some people say childlike, call it whatever you want. I’m a child at heart. Picture a teeter-totter. Jenn DeWall: Okay. John Robertson: The fulcrum of the teeter-totter is the traditional crisis response. How organizations or leadership respond to a critical event, whether it be perceived or real, doesn’t matter how people respond to that dictates which way the teeter-totter goes. It goes towards healthier or it goes towards unhealthier, goes towards safe or goes towards unsafe. You and I were talking about that event where you knew a person who was at it and they were talking about how that opening act or whatever you wanna call it, their scenario, get people interacting, was to say off center would be the understatement of the century. Jenn DeWall: Yes. John Robertson: <Laugh>. Ok. Yes. And you see how quickly the person that was telling you about that event, do you see how quickly it becomes unsafe in milliseconds? Jenn DeWall: Yes. Yeah, absolutely. That is a very, yeah, lived experience from three days ago that I’m still, I feel like emotionally processing John Robertson: And, and what happens is how the organizations or leaders respond to that will dictate, dictate kind of a whole snowball effect because it’ll become bigger. The visual is, and I know it’s another anecdote or analogy, but it becomes a stone in the shoe and what starts out as something that shouldn’t have happened, it’s a pebble in the shoe. But when it does not get addressed, it starts to feel like we have a boulder in our shoe. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John Robertson: And how that starts is a little thing that’s called values-anchored culture or accountability culture. And I call the accountability culture, the P culture, because it’s about policy, procedures, protocol, performance, productivity, promotion. And let’s not forget that beloved paperwork, Better Crisis Response Starts with a Values-Anchored Culture Jenn DeWall: <Laugh> John Robertson: Values-anchored culture is a culture where values are named, defined and people can describe the behavior of that value being lived and practiced. Those values are encouraged. So people are responsible and they take the initiative. What happens and what’s organizations are doing is they’re trying to get people to be accountable. Look at this whole hybrid discussion. It’s really about the P’s– productivity, protocol, performance, paperwork and so forth. When the real issue is ask people why should somebody work in your organization? I had, and just to show you, I’m the little boy in the emperors new clothes. I have a problem of naming the elephant in the room, whatever you want me to say. I was working with one organization and they were having this and they were talking about people, paycheck players, the ones who were staying were not your best performers. But the other thing that was starting to happen was they could not recruit the best people. John Robertson: They were recruiting people but not exactly a lineup of other employers wanting to hire them kinda people. Yeah. And so we got talking about focus and so on and so forth and, and I said, Okay, I’m just gonna be a stick in the spokes here. And without pulling out your phones and looking them, what are your core values here? Why would somebody want to work here? And, and Jenn, I don’t know if you’ve ever done that moment, but you know, when you name something and the room just goes like a funeral home, it’s deathly silent. It’s like, I don’t know how to describe that sensation, but it’s like inside my voice, Inside my head, my voice is saying way to go Robertson, it looks like this is gonna be a short employment. They’re gonna walk you out of the premises <laugh>. And, and, and at the end of the day we have to decide how to handle crisis properly. The traditional crisis is an ask or answer. Do you want a healthier organization or do you wanna try and minimize unhealth? Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John Robertson: And cause most people treat sick, we’re not growing healthy, we’re just trying to stop unhealthy or stop sick. Well you can’t. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. And I like, it’s even as I’m thinking about what are the consequence of not addressing the crisis or going back to the example you and I had talked about offline, which I’ll say in a different way. It’s just, you know, in a meeting someone said something that one group population was very offended by and one group very normalized didn’t think that. And, and I think that’s probably a you know, a response situation many leaders can find themselves in is not understanding which one you know you should listen to. I happen to be on the one end that I was very offended by it. And you know, there are people that weren’t, but like from my perspective it was really inappropriate. And so what would you do in that case of like what does a crisis response even look like if you feel like it’s difficult to discern whether or not it’s something that should be addressed. John Robertson: It’s what you just described is textbook why the event is never the real crisis. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. Name It Don’t Blame It John Robertson: It’s the reactions of the individuals. And so putting your finger on that scenario you just named, is somebody having enough backbone to say- name it, but don’t blame it- is key. I have to be willing to name it without using the best fight words in the English vocabulary. <Laugh> you, always, and never, there are no better fight words in the English vocabulary than those three You always and never. So name it but don’t blame it. And just simply say, okay, hold it. The temperature just changed in this relationship. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John Robertson: What happened, what did I miss? Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John Robertson: And, and when people have core values that are real, because there’s always two sets, right? There’s the ones on the website, there’s the ones that people actually operate by. This is your defining moment. And, and that’s your, in science it’s called a litmus paper. This is the litmus test to determine which way the organization is going to move. That fulcrum. They are going to tilt towards values on the website that nobody practices or values that are practiced because they’re known and lived. There is no middle ground. Yeah. And so in your scenario, a leadership simply saying Hold it, what just shifted? What did I miss? And then when somebody says, Well when John said yada yada yada, what some of us heard was blah blah blah. John Robertson: Oh, wow. I’m sorry, how can we correct what just happened? Cause that’s shouldn’t happened, but it has. So I’m sorry, but now what can we do? And now immediately we’re moving into values being practiced. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. I mean and it’s, so I, I love that because it’s, it really is the values being practiced because in this instance it might seem like a really small to-do. Yes. Maybe something that like, you know, wouldn’t have that big of an impact. But as me as an individual, I would be thinking, do I really wanna work with an organization that does this? Do I really want to support this person? What does my trust look like? How do they see me? These are all of the messages that I am now reflecting on is like, do I really wanna move forward and jump into this ship if I feel like this is appropriate when I think it’s absolutely not. And so if you’re not addressing the crisis, you’re not, you potentially could lose people John Robertson: Not potentially. Delete. You can delete that word because Jenn, what happens is people, I heard a great expression, they’re talking about quiet quitting. But they were talking about “RIP” and the old acronym is “ROD”, retired on duty. But that RIP is retired in position. And what happens is people may not leave because they like to pay or they like the benefits or they like whatever, but they are no longer contributing because they’ve checked out, I’m just a paycheck player now I’m no longer a motivated employee. Which means the accountability. So the p policies, procedures, protocols, all those things just became more work and the real issue how that crisis got handled. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John Robertson: And there is one point when it is too late and we can never go back and it’s called death Short of that it can be remedied. That doesn’t mean trust is gonna be restored. Trust takes years to grow, seconds to lose. Jenn DeWall: Right. John Robertson: But trust can be rebuilt. But it takes a lot of effort. And so therefore everybody’s writing books on trust or people are writing books on leadership. But nobody’s talking about the art of, I shouldn’t say nobody. Very few are talking about the art of Kajon. When you’re trying to be a leader and you walk on toes accidentally, what do you do? Well the advantage I have of 35 years of marriage is you learn very quickly that to remedy a bad situation, the first thing is, I’m sorry, Jenn DeWall: Right. Crisis Response and Accountability John Robertson: Second thing is, I was wrong. Third thing is, forgive me. And you know, the perfect illustration of this, and it was the American Medical Association who did the survey or study or whatever it was, it was years ago and they did investigation into what’s causing the number of lawsuits against doctors. And do you know what the number one reason was? Jenn DeWall: Don’t know. Feeling like you don’t get adequate level of care. John Robertson: Actually that’s what most of them were thinking. It actually came back to what’s clinically is called bedside manner. It actually came back to how the person was treated. Jenn DeWall: I mean I, I feel like I can relate to that in so many ways. John Robertson: We all can. Yeah. Yeah. Jenn DeWall: Even if I think about what I, and I mean, and they know on our guests, like I’m going through a relapse with my multiple sclerosis and this has been going on for eight weeks and I still do not have steroids. Which is a very common prescribed medicine that they’ll give you to help minimize the symptoms and the control, the inflammation. And it took me finally, and this is like, and I pointed out to my neurologist over the weekend and I was like, I just went to the pharmacy to get this again after you said it was there and it’s not there. And I’m like, how am I supposed to trust you as a partner? Yeah. If in these moments like you don’t have MS so you don’t understand what it’s like to experience these symptoms. Right. To my neurologist. So like you don’t have the urgency but message I get from you is that you don’t care. Jenn DeWall: And she just responded and there was no apology. It was, Oh I thought that I sent this on Wednesday after your appointment. I sent it today, which was Monday, you know, five days later. Yeah. And I’m now gonna leave that neurologist because I feel like trust is completely broken. There’s no level of accountability or like, I’m sorry that this is not turned out like, you know, it’s hard to be empathetic when you feel like there’s like eight weeks going on here. I don’t know what to say anymore. Like empathy definitely like gets washed off and then it’s time to leave John Robertson: A hundred percent. And so apply that exact same scenario in the workplace. And this doesn’t mean that you and I, if we’re working together, this doesn’t mean that you and I have to sit down and join hands and sing Kumbaya and all. That’s not empathy. Empathy is, you know what Jenn, I might be the wrong person to help you with this, but lets, you and I talk about the best kind of help that you need to get through this storm and I wanna help you get that support. Yeah. Even if I’m not the right person, that’s empathy, not sympathy, which is pity. And and part of what happens is, and my heart aches for those mid-level B suite leaders, because they get shot at from two sides. They get shot at from one side saying, who do you think you are coming here? And you know, we’ve been kings and queens of our own castles. This is what we have decided. The people behind them following are shooting at them saying, Yeah, no, I don’t wanna go there. I don’t wanna change. We’ve done it this way for 20 years. Why do we need to change? And so those people in the middle are getting shot at from two sides and then we ask them to be vulnerable or transparent or authentic. Yeah, no, that’s not happening. And therefore they need their own, for lack of better words, peer support, which is not actually the visual that I use is in North American football, it’s called huddle. And it’s where the team gets together and they consider the play they’re going to run. And the rest of the world sees their bums because their heads are together preparing their play. Mid senior leaders have to have a huddle time, they have to have a values-anchored huddle where they can talk about what it’s really like to be on the field. What it’s really like to get hit. What it’s really like to be blindsided with to like you just illustrated, I thought you were my advocate, I thought you were rolling up your sleeves to help, and now you don’t even have the courage or backbone to say, I’m sorry, miscommunication, I’m wrong. Or as my kids would say, my bad. Jenn DeWall: <Laugh>. I mean it’s you, I wonder there are just so many, so much resistance for some people to actually going there. And I mean, and in a second I’m gonna ask you like how, you know, how do we start, how do you start to transform your crisis? But we had talked about on the pre-call too, like, you know, where organizations might be addressing mental health wrong and I, I, I mean I agree with you, I see it as like they kind of are are they’re creating these beautiful things such as mental health days. Love it. Yeah. Mental health programs, but no one’s talking about how to navigate these conversations and so they’re still not being had because people are like, I don’t know, maybe the mental health day will take care of it and that’s not going to be the fix. So from your perspective, what would you even get, what advice would you offer for someone that wanted to have those conversations to ask? Like how does it feel to play on the field? Like how does it feel when you have, you know, if you’re a consultant and you have an angry customer that you know doesn’t treat you like an equitable business partner and is constantly railing you and saying you’re not enough, you’re not doing this, you’re not doing this and that, that’s an example I know many people deal with when they work with consultants. John Robertson: This, let illustrate this Jenn, in a very real situation, I was working with a midlevel B suite, mid-senior level leader. There’s an employee that’s been off work for, I’m gonna say three months, it might be longer, it might be less, doesn’t matter. The employees in that department were saying it’s been best in whatever years this workplace has the best it’s since this person was off. Long story short, this leader ended up meeting with this person said some stuff, not negative stuff, just calling a spade a shovel and saying, hold it. The behavior isn’t what we want in this department. All of a sudden a grievance gets filed, it gets escalated right up to the director of hr. And now this mid senior leader is getting their knuckles wrapped, their hand slapped and it’s been a problem employee for years. There’s your values choice. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John Robertson: Who are you wanting to keep? Now this leader has already written his resignation. He hasn’t put it on paper, but he’s already written his resignation. He’s already started looking for other work. Now how much money did that organization invest in that leader getting the skills, competence, et cetera, et cetera. And they’re losing that person over non-work related issues because nobody wanted to deal with the problem behavior. Now you’ve got the problem behavior and you’re losing the leader who wanted to grow change. It’s not a complicated fix. And what one of the first things that I would tell your listeners is, is our definition of mental health a positive proactive dish definition or is it a definition that’s based on in North America it’s actually called a healthcare system. We don’t have a healthcare system, we have a sick care system. If you want to be healthy, that’s your own time, your own dime. And therefore in the workplace is our mental health definition based on not being sick? Or is it based on here’s what we define healthy as looking like here’s why health matters and therefore we’re rowing in that direction. Jenn DeWall: I love that. Well and that conversation opens up like we don’t want it to be something that you just deal with on your own time with your own dime. We don’t, no longer are we saying personal problems exist of a personal time. Like we’ll talk about it. But it like, I love that perspective of like, no, we take the accountability here that we know that what we create, what happens, how we respond, the tools that we give you are going to impact your quality of life. And they’re obviously going to impact your productivity, your ability to focus and concentrate or make decisions. I, I really appreciate that definition. So thank you for segueing a little bit into that. A Message from Crestcom: Crestcom is a global organization dedicated to developing effective leaders. Companies all over the world have seen their managers transformed into leaders through our award-winning and accredited leadership development programs. Our signature BPM program provides interactive management training with a results-oriented curriculum and prime networking opportunities. If you’re interested in learning more about our flagship program and developing your managers into leaders, please visit our website to find a leadership trainer near you. Or maybe you yourself have always wanted to train and develop others. Crestcom is a global franchise with ownership opportunities available throughout the world. If you have ever thought about being your own boss, owning your own business and leveraging your leadership experience to impact businesses and leaders in your community, Crestcom may be the right fit for you. We’re looking for professional executives who are looking for a change and want to make a difference in people’s lives. Learn more about our franchise opportunity on the Own A Franchise page of our website at Crestcom.com Jenn DeWall: Now we’ll bring it back into play of like the crisis. So how do you transform your traditional crisis response? To Transform Your Crisis Response, Clarify Your Purpose John Robertson: So first, clarify what your focus is. What does success look like non physically? And the definition that I always used, question rather I always use for the definitions is how would you define this non physically? Tell me about your culture. When I’m working with leadership, first question I always ask is, so how do you want people to describe you non-physically? That’s just a value statement. And therefore clarify that focus as a leader or as an organization. The second question becomes– Jenn DeWall: I want to go into that, what are some common words that you’ve heard? Actually, is it fun? Like fuzzy? Like what? What are some of John Robertson: The words that 90% of the time they’re fuzzy and so therefore, you know, part of my strength is I’m not asking because I have in my mind what I think your answer should be. I have in my mind that I don’t understand your answer so therefore I will keep asking. Okay, help me to understand that. When you say respectable, okay, what does that mean for you? Well it means to be respected. Okay, great. I go back to my elementary school teacher who said, you’re not allowed to define a word by using the word. So therefore, apart from using the word respect, what does respectable mean for you? And and what always comes out of that will be a person’s definitions around their values. So for example, I want people to know me as trustable, respectable followable even when I’m not likable. Cause I would rather you trust me know that when I say I’m going to do something, you don’t need 15 pages of legal documents to say it my handshake or whatever we do these days. The fist bump, my handshake is as valuable as all those pages trustable, respectable, when you meet me at the hockey rink or soccer field, sorry, soccer pitch football field or at church or at work. Where at grocery store you meet the exact same person but different vantage points. So respectable means I am going to be who I am, I am going to be focused on my values and yes I can name them and therefore I want you to say, see that same reflection and followable I have a purpose for my life that I’m pursuing. And therefore part of that purpose is I want you to know the plans for your life. I want you to Run Toward the Roar. I want you to help discern what’s your pasio fidelis, what are you passionately faithful for? And I get to help with that. And there will be days that I know you may not like me and I can live with that. Jenn DeWall: Yeah, well that’s the reality. I think acceptance rule number one for leaders is that we’re not gonna be liked every single day by all people and all the things that we say. But yet we somehow created this expectation that it exists and it doesn’t John Robertson: <Laugh>. But if I don’t know as a leader, and this is the key, if I don’t know what I’m for, then we try and be defined by what we’re against. That’s poor leadership because that’s reactive. Yeah. Great leaders know their values and therefore we know what we are for. So if I’m for good health doesn’t mean I’m against smoking. It just, I have more things to focus on than just not certain behaviors. Jenn DeWall: Sure. So first part, you have to know your values and I love that taking a deep drive. What do they look like in action? How do they, how do you define them? How do they feel? What’s the second piece to transform your traditional crisis response? John Robertson: So the focus, the values. And the third piece is you got to build the team. Because you’re not gonna be able to move things forward if I’m trying to think of the person’s name. He wrote Good to Great Jim Collins. Jenn DeWall: Mm-Hmm <affirmative>, Get the Right People on the Bus John Robertson: He, he has an expression you got to get the right people on the bus. Many people focus on that quoting that cliché, right. People on the bus but they forget the other part. And in his book he says people either fit and flourish or they get expunged like a virus. Who are the people in your boat rowing with you? Who are the people on the field with you that will help you move things forward? That does not happen without a commitment and decision. Don’t ask for volunteers. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. I love that. Well I think a lot of people don’t think about that or they think the fastest way to fill the bosses to get people that are most like me. Because I know where they hang out and what they look like and realizing that that’s not it. You can have people that aren’t like you, that can still, you know, gravitate towards the same mission and vision with the same conviction and passion that you do. They just approach it in a different way. John Robertson: And because I’m Canadian, I’ll use the hockey example. It, what happens is that kind of thinking is like saying I’m gonna have a hockey team with all goalies. Well I don’t need to be an NHL coach to know that that hockey team is not going anywhere with only goalies. Jenn DeWall: Right. <laugh> John Robertson: Just let’s say just saying. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. But I think there’s still that resistance that I think we have to overcome and when we get, you know, especially in a crisis like thinking about oh my gosh, what do we do? Who can I turn to? Who can I trust that you might miss out on looking at other people that can guide you or at least provide a better perspective. Cause I think a lot of organizations find themselves in further crisis because they didn’t have the right dang people in the room to begin with John Robertson: Or they are values were not clear enough. So the people in the room did not have the unwritten permission to share what they were seeing. You know, I don’t know what you’re like, Jenn, and I’m not asking, but one of the most precious people that we can have in our lives are the older people who have nothing to prove. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John Robertson: Cause they just name what everybody else sees and they’re not doing it to be malicious. They’re doing it because, hey John. And just as an observation and the advantage that life gives is they have a wisdom that I haven’t been in school called life long enough to learn. Jenn DeWall: I mean that is, so you hit my grandpa, he passed away this year. He was one of my, probably one of my strongest figures in my life. But he always said to me all the time, Jenny, I have a million dollars worth of advice, but she’s you, it means nothing. Yeah. And I know that’s a more common expression, but that’s what it is. Right. Like, and he, they, they could also find him and my great aunt could find joy in whatever anyone did. There was no jealousy, there was no, oh my gosh. They were always just happy. Oh, you’re doing this in your life. That’s fantastic. Good for you. Like, there’s no ego to say like, I did that in mind. They’re just genuinely happy for what people do. I, I loved their examples, but then I’m also like, you know, it’s like I know my own ego that of being like, gosh, I wish I had grandpa to ask that too. John Robertson: <Laugh>. Well, and and that’s the reality of leadership today. Sometimes it feels like we are parenting. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John Robertson: And, and you know what, that’s fine because if, if they’re open to learning from who we are as an individual, as a person, then then invest in them. You know, one of the lines that I remind people of, usually it comes out around a significant crisis involving a death is those kinds of moments define success. What does it really mean? Because there is no greater failure in life than to succeed in a way that does not matter in the long run. No greater failure. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. John, what else? Like, I mean I feel like we covered a lot in terms of talking about crisis. You know, we have to focus, we have to understand our values. What else would you give? Like what, what other advice or insights would you share? Okay, in terms of someone facing this. John Robertson: So there’s first of all, get those right people around you and then reach out and please reach out to me. I’m by all means, and I’ll give you the link at the end, but it reach out. I’d love to have the conversation because don’t pretend that things are, you know, let’s see. Don’t hope, wish, pray, dream that tomorrow’s gonna be a better day. It can be if the decision and commitment’s made. But the probability of hope wish, praying dream alone isn’t gonna change a lot. So what’s the intervention? What’s the focus? What’s the values? Who’s the team with you? And then the shepherds are the leadership. Who are the people that you are investing in to follow? Who are the people that we want to grow towards? And whether you call ’em mentors, I call them shepherds because they’re in front of people, they’re walking the talk. They’re not ranchers behind people, driving them in some direction. And who are those people that you as an individual wanna follow? What are you reading? That’s the easiest barometer. Jenn DeWall: Right? John Robertson: And we tend to become the people, like the people we hang out with. So I can hang out with whomever– Winston Churchill by a book or I can get caught up and binging in a some TV series, which could be great, don’t get me wrong. But it’s not becoming the person that I’m called to be. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. And it’s, there’s so many people to learn from and even I’ve always sad to hear that people don’t read as much as maybe they used to. Or even hearing stats about how many people won’t read a book after a certain level and then another book. And because it is that great way like reading is the fastest way. And maybe that’s because I didn’t grow up with a ton of money so I couldn’t travel. But like reading was always the piece that I could just learn more about different places. I, you know, it’s, it’s always the piece that makes me have different considerations. Even heck, we talked about this in the pre-call. Learning about rowing this story, I just learned more about the, you know, the sport of rowing, there’s so, so many. Don’t Just Learn, Do Something with Your Knowledge John Robertson: Give credit to the people listening to this podcast. Don’t waste whatever time it ends up being in length. If you don’t do anything from this podcast, you just wasted whatever minutes. What’s your next steps? What’s one thing you can do from this podcast? And if you’re stuck, reach out to me. I’d love to help. I’d love to encourage you. Reach out to Jenn, love to help, love to encourage. But don’t waste your time listening to podcasts and not do anything afterwards. I mean that might be my Scottish ancestry of being frugal. Or it might, some people call it cheap, but I like to call it frugal. Frugal. But, but don’t waste time taking courses and doing things and not doing anything with it right after. Because a term called memory fade in 48 hours, 72 hours, it’ll all be gone. You will have just wasted this time. And I don’t want you to do that. I want you to thrive. I don’t want you just to be resilient, nevermind survive or succumb. I want you to thrive. And that will not happen by sitting on our bums, hoping, wishing, praying, dream dreaming things get better. Jenn DeWall: Yes, I have one maybe final question. When it comes down to addressing the crisis, you know, if you know your values and you understand like what you want that to look like, how do you address the crisis? John Robertson: So first thing that happens in those moments to say, okay, so picture the scene of any crisis. So can you help me to understand getting the person to talk about the crisis? So therefore the second part of that is what are normal things that you do normally for self care? And now I’m gonna force you to think differently. Most people think unplugging when they think of stress management. That’s not actually helpful. Unplugging is like putting our cell phones on airplane mode thinking that will recharge them. <Laugh>. John Robertson: So unplugging doesn’t work. What do we plug into to recharge? Some people do jigs up puzzles, some people do music, some people do sports, some people do reading. It’s not things that we naturally just drift into. It’s things that require discipline to do it, to recharge. So what was the crisis? Help me to understand it. What things do you normally do to recharge and what’s one or two things you can do in the next 24 to 48 hours? And use the acronym SMART goals. And I’m not gonna go through that, but most people know smart goals and then be specific, measurable and so forth on the things we’re gonna do. And then the last piece and who will you give permission to to hold you accountable to do those things. And, and just to illustrate this, there was a situation where this woman was hugely tsunami-ed with work pressures and her battery would’ve been about 5%, 10%. So she was just at the break point of going offline and, and she said, well one of the things I really enjoy doing is walking. I said okay. So we started walking through SMART and I said, So what time are you gonna go for a walk? I’m gonna go at 6;30. Oh, didn’t you say you have young children? Yes. Is 6:30 a reasonable time, achievable time for you to go walking? Well, no, not really. Okay, so what’s reasonable? Anyways, long story short, we walked through it and I said, So do you mind if I follow you up? No, no, that’d be great. So she was gonna walk from 7:15 to 7 45. I put it in my calendar to text her at 7:46. I texted her at 7:46 and she called me and she was laughing when she called me and she said, you know, I knew Robertson, you were gonna do this. I just knew it and I did not go for a walk because I felt like it. I knew I went for a walk because I knew you were gonna harass me if I didn’t go. So we had a great laugh about it and I’ve also had those stories where they didn’t go, and okay, so let’s not flog you, let’s, what can we do to get back in the game? Jenn DeWall: Right? To not stick there, not John Robertson: Stick. And so for example, what you just illustrated is when we have a four-legged companion who comes in who needs perfection, <laugh> and just curious, is it a male? Jenn DeWall: This is Zoe. For those that cannot see the video, my dog just popped up on the screen, very excited to get attention John Robertson: <Laugh>. And, and so therefore there’s a perfect example. You know, when they come into our life rather than pretending they’re not important. Prioritize them, go for a walk, pet them. If you, if the person feels the need, apologize. Yeah, but not really say sorry you’re apologizing because it can come across as whatever they can misperceive it at. And the real issue is your Zoe is a value to you. So therefore you must recognize Zoe. Jenn DeWall: I know I love her. No, and I love that. We have our, I mean that’s what our team, right? That they, whether it’s our team, it’s the people that work with us that want the same, you know, for a line. Like that’s what they want. And we should turn our attention toward that as well. John Robertson: Okay, What you just perfectly illustrated, I go back to the question you asked me, What can we do to transform that traditional crisis response? Take the Zoe of the other person’s life and help them draw strength and encouragement from you encouraging them. Perfect illustration. Jenn DeWall: I love that. I wonder what our workplaces would look like if we all actually encouraged each other with kindness like all the time. John Robertson: And please don’t, please don’t, listeners, please don’t misinterpret encouragement as praise. They are not <laugh>. Praise is patting them on the head, telling them what a wonderful boy or wonderful girl on my encouragement prefix means to instill. So therefore to encourage, means to instill courage. That’s not praise. Where to Find More from John Robertson Jenn DeWall: I love that differentiator, John. How I’ve loved our conversation. I feel like there’s so many one liners that I’m gonna stick with to so many perspectives. Where can someone, you offered up the help? Where can someone get in touch with you? John Robertson: Simplest way is go to the website and my website is, there’s two of them. There’s one with the book Run toward the Roar, one word dot on online. And there’s place to book or connect with me there. But the main one is FORTLOG. So fort Safe place in the frontier, you gotta know where you’re going. And a log is a journal to help others sail the sea because there’s no point going there alone – FORTLOG.co – And it’s the easiest way to connect with me. And I would really value, if your listeners wanted to, well, to go with our theme. If they wanted less praise and more encouragement, I’d love to have a conversation. Jenn DeWall: I love that. Reach out to John. John, thank you so much for being on the show. Again, I just appreciate you giving us your time, your experience and your expertise to help make our audience and myself better. So thank you very much for being here. John Robertson: My pleasure. And you know what, I really appreciate the opportunity to support you, your listeners, and thank you for that Leadership Habit. Because it, it needs to be a habit, not a one time deal. Jenn DeWall: Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit podcast. I hope, I mean like myself, there’s so many different one liners that I got from John, so many different perspectives of what to consider. I also love his encouragement based approach. But if you wanted to connect more, if you wanted to reach out and get to know a little bit more about John, you can head over to FORTLOG.co. There. You can connect with him, have access to his resources and purchase his book, Run Toward the Roar. And of course, if you enjoyed this podcast episode, share with your friends. Maybe you have a friend that feels bogged down by a crisis and they just need some encouragement to think, how can I go forward, share this episode with them. And finally, if you have or are looking for someone to develop your leaders needs, head on over to cresco.com. We would love to have a conversation with you to talk about our 12 month leadership development program that’s all designed on creating the best leaders that we can be. Thank you so much for joining. Until next time. The post Transforming Your Crisis Response with Workforce Wellness Expert, John Robertson appeared first on Crestcom International.

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Aug 5, 2022 • 41min

Solving Problems Through Faith, Family, Fitness and Finance with Preston Brown

Solving Problems Through Faith, Family, Fitness and Finance with Preston Brown Hi everyone. It’s Jenn DeWall. And in this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit Podcast, I sat down with Preston Brown to talk about how to solve your problems. Now, let me tell you a little bit more about Preston Brown. Preston is a speaker and entrepreneur and a multiple eight-figure business owner specializing in disruptive innovation and profitability scaling companies. Preston has 18– that’s 18 successful automated operating businesses with gross revenues of over $180 million. He is an expert in finance business and psychology and has advised hundreds of CEOs and entrepreneurs on how to grow scale and optimize their companies. But today, Preston and I are going to be talking about how to solve your problems. Full Transcript Below Jenn DeWall: Hi, everyone. It’s Jenn DeWall. And today on The Leadership Habit Podcast, we’re sitting down with Preston Brown to talk about how to solve your problems. Preston, thank you so much for joining us on this show. My mind even, I mean, to our audience, if you have not met a or met Preston heard of Preston Brown, not only does a phenomenal track record that you just heard about in our earlier bumper but just the idea, sharing the inspiration and enthusiasm that he has. My mind is blown over the last 30 minutes. I wish we could almost have recorded that conversation, but here we go. We’re gonna do it for you now. Preston, thank you so much for joining us on the show. It’s so great to have you. Preston Brown: Jenn, it’s an honor. I’m I’m thrilled to be here. Jenn DeWall: All right. So now we have to let the audience in on the secret of Preston Brown. Please go ahead and tell us a little bit more about you because you own multiple businesses. You’re highly successful. You’ve got so much knowledge that you can drop, but let’s talk about your background. Tell us about yourself, Preston. Preston Brown: Let’s see. So me, I’m everybody judges a story by the end, everybody looks for the story and they’re like, Hey, you know, here’s another rich guy. Some a-hole that’s out there doing this, that and the other. And they look at the story and they see the ending and they judge it. So rather than kind go into the story or all the businesses or the money or any of that stuff, the different airplanes, I’m gonna give you the beginning and I’m gonna give you like what my purpose is. And then we can go into all the other things that may be related to cause money and success. It orbits purpose. If that makes sense. So I’m gonna give you the, the beginning story that if that’s alright. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. Meet Preston Brown, Entrepreneur Preston Brown: When I was seven years old, I grew up in a little town called Canutillo, Texas outside of El Paso, Texas. And we grew up in a tiny little trailer home. And, you know, lots of love in the family, not a lot of money. We were not destitute, but I mean, we were definitely poverty level. I mean, I do remember there wasn’t a tremendous amount of food. So this is kind a story about one of those times. My dad was a brilliant man. An engineer-minded person. He wanted to set the family free. So he decided he was like, I’m gonna open my own business and went to work for himself in a shed out beside our home. I remember it was an El Paso summer and we get very, you know, critically bad heat waves here. So we stole an air conditioner to put in his ship. Like, I probably shouldn’t tell that part, but we literally stole it. We didn’t want him to die out there, right? My dad was a phenomenal craftsman, beautiful. But he didn’t know the fundamentals of the business that are importnat. And what, what wound up happening, what wound up going on was, you know, three or four months in my mom lost her job. And as things do in poor families, the, the financial stress showed up and the fighting came. I remember the, the cast iron frying getting thrown across the, and I remember looking there and seeing my mom and my dad, like literally my two favorite people on the planet, you know, my heroes, I guess like talking and I don’t remembering, they said, but I remember the fry on the, across the room. And I remember my mom can feed his family. And if you can’t, don’t come home. It was a lot for me. And I got be the charity piece, because I’d never seen this. Like we had a tremendous amount of love and this has never happened. So I’d never realized what effect resources could have on a person. And I got in my dad’s old truck and we drove up the hill and up not far from where I live now and one of the much nicer neighborhoods in town and my dad, all, all six foot, four of them walked up to this guy that was about five, nine. My dad was that star football player, shoulders. Like he badass, right? I knew what was going to happen, he was going to go up to this guy and get our money from this guy. But that’s not what happened. We were, my, my dad went from demanding to asking to begging. And I watched this little weasel of a man just destroy, like literally to, and you know, my, my dad true to his word to my mom, he collected some money that night. He collected a fraction, what he was owed and he made the decision to give up on his dreams that night. We drove to the local Smith’s grocery store. I got to ride home with one of those big boxes of ramen noodles. My dad gave up on his financial dreams. His business locked up his little shed and went to work and worked as an employee for the rest of his life. But he chose to stay my father. And so while I’m very grateful that, you know, he chose to stay there before seven years old. I didn’t even know what hatred was. And I hated a man that I’ve never met, who had manipulated my dad for money. Like that was the first time that I never hated somebody or thought, man, I could kill that person. Like I absolutely hate that person because he destroyed my dad. How Preston Started Solving Problems Preston Brown: And this turned me into a corporate machine. Like I would go into industries. I have 18 different companies and I coached people across hundreds of different businesses in different industries. And I became this corporate machine. Like, I mean, I could go into an industry, figure out what did the customers want? How did I go get it? How do I give it to ’em and how do I do it better, anyone else? And I would shut competitors down. And where this took me was to, you know, I wasn’t going out and telling my story. You can tell about me, giant head, tiny shoulders. I’m the typical nerd, right? But if a lion doesn’t tell his story, the hunter will. So guess what my competitors were saying? They were not saying beautiful things about me. And they were like, oh, that’s Hey, oh, that guy’s, this that’s. And I didn’t care. I was, I was corporate. I was, I was solving my dad’s wound. I was turning my dad’s wound into a scar around money. I was never gonna let money be my God, but it kind of became my God through a back door. Because I became just a corporate, angry, transactional son of a gun, the guy that everybody talked about. And I got rich, I became worth several million, five, 10, 15 million, and had lots of businesses and everything was going right. In 2019 my dad sat in his favorite chair and went to sleep and he didn’t wake up. It was a life changing moment for me because there was nothing I could do about it. There was no transaction I could make to solve it. My mom always used to say, when I was young, everybody has a game. Find out the game and to figure out how to win, learn the game, learn to play until you win. There wasn’t a game. It was my first time losing love. And it was a beautiful moment because it taught me that, you know, money was not the meaning of life. Resource accumulation is not the meaning of life. It’s love, it’s the meaning of life. And so my dad created the worst day of my life and he also created the best day of my life. The worst day of my life. And the best day of my life were the same day. It was the day that he taught me the most important lesson, the day that he passed. Money Can’t Solve Problems Preston Brown: And that that lesson came in the form, learning about expectations. Expectations are the mother of all suffering. All of the suffering I had when he left was there not because he was gone, but was there cuz I expected him to still be here. And that was the best transfer of action or teaching I ever received in life from my father. He absolutely gifted me the most beautiful understanding that money and transactions and everything, the real lesson I was supposed to learn on that day. When I was seven, he made the right choice. He chose love over money. Now it doesn’t mean you can’t have both. And luckily I went through that part of the journey, that corporate journey and I learned how to accumulate the money. But money is not the meaning of life. It’s the resource that that can compound and amplify life’. And here where it’s beautiful. If you have no money and a jerk, no one will know. If you have ton of money and you a jerk, you are Hitler. Lots of resources, lots of power you name will be remembered in history. You have lots of resources, lots of ability. You could be Gandhi. You could be the person out there speaking belief, speaking, helping somebody, building things. And, and so money’s an amplifier, not a reason. And my journey was there. Hopefully not just to teach me, but my purpose now is to teach others that there’s four courses you experience faith, family, fitness, and finance. And while finance is definitely the, the smallest of these four things, they’re all tethered to one another. So while we’re all out there seeking resources, if you’re having an issue with faith or family, you have an anchor here, you can’t progress because they’re tethered to one another and progress equal happiness. And so that’s the story where I had to learn over, you know, now I guess 40 year journey, what the real meaning of life was and how to really solve problems by removing anchors. And they weren’t necessarily the core that I thought they were, I was chasing the money problem. And it was always a love problem. I was always, Jenn DeWall: When you say anchors, you mean the anchors of the, of faith, family, fitness finance, or kind of just like the wrong things. When you say anchors? I think just the resources. I know that, but maybe prioritizing them in a wrong way and not putting them in equal importance. Tell me a little bit more about that. Faith, Family, Fitness & Finance are the Key to Solving Problems Preston Brown: Sure. I spent 15 years chasing money in my own business. It’s more than that because as a kid I was selling lemon juices door to door selling things. I was always the top selling like Cub Scout or whatever. But in my business now. Well, all of that time was working towards developing resources and there was always that core pain moment from seven years old, when my dad gave up his dreams. Was I’m really chasing money or was I chasing a solution to the problem that hit me when I was seven years old? If we look at faith, family, fitness, finance, my hero got hurt– family issue while I was chasing finance. Here’s the craziest thing. I got some finances. I was worth 10 or 15 million. You know, nowadays I’ve healed that wound. That’s a scar. And my net worth is no longer 10 or 15 million. Like I have several companies that pay me 10, 15 million a year. Like, so if I sold that company, my net worth has compounded dramatically by removing an anchor. My anchor was my pain. My problem was I needed to heal the wound that my dad had when I was seven years old, when somebody cheated him for money. And I built a belief in a model of a world around not ever being cheated for money and a new identity around control. And, and am I going too fast? Jenn DeWall: Well, I love this because if we’re thinking about how to solve problems, it is anchoring and checking in on what are the limiting beliefs or the rules or the pains that are kind of present in our subconscious that we may not realize that are dictating or driving or creating obstacles to today’s problems that we might not be aware of. And so I know it’s a little conceptual, right? That we have to be mindful of how we picked up these beliefs. But if you’re not aware of them, then you are chasing the wrong thing. So when you say how to solve your problems is, and what I’m pulling back from this is that, you know, between faith, family, fitness and finance, that if you’re just focusing on one or if one of them is broken, like you’re not going to be able to move forward or progress. Is that right? Preston Brown: Yeah, exactly. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. So where do you start? So if, if I have a problem of, oh my gosh, let’s say that like, maybe I want to be more successful in my life and we’re going to apply and really understand the significance of these four things. What does faith mean to you? And how do you think people can develop and build that? Faith is Like Energy Preston Brown: Ooh, such good questions. So faith is energy. Okay. We cannot pour from an empty cup. Every guru out there, from what I hear is seeming to say the same words. You gotta hustle your way to success, hustle, hustle, hustle. Okay. This is such a line. When you hustle nonstop, you get exhausted. When you get exhausted, you empty. You are emotionally drained. If you are pouring from an empty cup, you are quenching nobody’s thirst. OK. Now hustle is not a complete lie, but the best lie the devil ever told was seeded with an ounce of truth. Right? So we have to stop going with just that. Let’s look at the whole process. How do we get to hustle? The first thing you need is passion. OK. And I’m gonna give you an authentic, but maybe politically incorrect example. Can I do that? Jenn DeWall: All right. Yes. Yes. You can do that. Solving Problems is Transactional Preston Brown: <Laugh> when my wife walks into the bedroom wearing lingerie, there’s not one part of me that says I better hustle. I better figure this out. None of me needs to do that. There’s passion. I’m in love with this woman. She is my soul mate. She’s absolutely my heart and soul. I am excited. She’s there. I don’t even have to think about hustle. Passion is cause. Hustle is effect. Okay. So then you start getting a success. Well, faith, it’s just energy in. We always hear people say, if, if, if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. Well, if you love, there’s also passion, right? What is a sale? A sale is a solution to a problem that somebody has. They pay you to solve a problem. If you’re passionate about solving that problem, then it’s easy for you to sell it. It’s easy for you to sell the solution because you would’ve done it for free. In fact, most real successful people that I know. And I’m, I’m not talking about the fake Insta famous ones that pretend and go borrow somebody’s freaking car and take pictures. I’m talking about really successful people. They innovate something amazing. And, by innovate something amazing. It could just be a different process. Or if I’m talking to people, it could be in a normal industry, but maybe they explain their product better than somebody else. It doesn’t have to be like crazy innovation. Like they invented Google. Okay. They innovate something amazing around whatever they do, whether they’re a real estate agent, whether they’re an investor, whether they build this or that or whatever widget. OK. And then they love doing it so much that people enjoyed the experience of having them do it. A Message from Crestcom: Crestcom is a global organization dedicated to developing effective leaders. Companies all over the world have seen their managers transformed into leaders through our award-winning and accredited leadership development programs. Our signature BPM program provides interactive management training with a results-oriented curriculum and prime networking opportunities. If you’re interested in learning more about our flagship program and developing your managers into leaders, please visit our website to find a leadership trainer near you. Or maybe you yourself have always wanted to train and develop others. Crestcom is a global franchise with ownership opportunities available throughout the world. If you have ever thought about being your own boss, owning your own business and leveraging your leadership experience to impact businesses and leaders in your community, Crestcom may be the right fit for you. We’re looking for professional executives who are looking for a change and want to make a difference in people’s lives. Learn more about our franchise opportunity on the Own A Franchise page of our website at Crestcom.com. Preston Brown: Like I know a gal that was so good at massage. She’s not certified as a masseuse, but she was so good at it. She could actually help anyone that now she is probably the most high priced masseuse in her market. Not because not because she went to this school or got this training. She loved helping people. And like, if they, if they had neck pain or this side or the other, she could show up and in five minutes you didn’t have neck pain. Cuz she knew how this muscle worked with this muscle and she’d come in and she’d hit it and she’d find out which one was tension and which one was not. And this, that, and the other, she work out and solve it because she was passionate about, she loved it. Well, she did that for free for a very long time. And then people started saying, well, no, no I need you. Well guess what? The ones that said I need you were willing to pay for the service. Guess who she enjoyed working for more? The ones that paid, or the ones that didn’t? Like, like Jenn, are you married? Jenn DeWall: Yes. Preston Brown: Okay. When you kiss your husband, do you want him to kiss back or just stand there? Like a bump on a log? Jenn DeWall: <Laugh> I– Preston Brown: There’s there’s a paradox. Like give you a love paradox. Right? Cause we’re all looking for unconditional love and, and it fits in business if fits in business. Okay. You know, I’ve heard the guru say, you know, conditional love is horse trading. It’s prostitution. It’s transactional. What’s a transaction? It’s a transfer of action. Oh wow. So you mean like our conversation is a transfer of action. You mean every human experience where us social animals communicate and collaborate with one another we’re transferring action or transacting. Oh gosh. Okay. So you are married and you want unconditional love your marriage, right? Jenn DeWall: Yeah. Preston Brown: So were there vows? Jenn DeWall: Absolutely. Preston Brown: Are vows conditions? Jenn DeWall: Well. Preston Brown: They are. Is not a bad thing. Anything that demonizes owns us. Okay. Having a transactional relationship. Like, Hey dude, like if we’re to get married, it’s still death to us part. Fair enough. Yes. Yeah. Okay. And, and you’re gonna be with only me. Fair enough. Okay. Right. So we’ve set conditions. Now how much do we love someone? You can love someone and it is measurable as much as you’re willing to suffer for. So I’ll give I don’t killing. I have no interest in dying. As long as I can. If somebody walked in to hurt my children, I would break my beliefs and my conditions and I would kill that person. I love them beyond my conditions. That’s what unconditional love means. So what’s the difference then if we’ve just disproved the transactional negativity on that, between unconditional and conditional, it’s an expectation of reciprocation. So back to my missus friend, when she was helping somebody say she’s helping somebody, she was transferring action from her to them. She’s creating in effect a line. There’s beginning here. This is the ending here. Do you know what happened? When the first person paid her, that line turned into a circle, there was a reciprocation, a circle has no ending. Oh my gosh, there’s a paradox here. You know, it’s so funny anywhere where there’s a paradox there’s truth. Can God create a rock so big he cannot lift it? Uh-huh and Unh-unh. But he can make it because he’s God or she’s God, whatever we wanna say. Right? So like let’s, let’s look at that. The paradox of giving and givers game, we all know givers game, but the paradox is getting is it’s more fun to give to people that reciprocate you can give unconditionally. And if people see you feel, you sense your authenticity. They’re like, I want more of that. I’m gonna reciprocate. And then all of a sudden you have to value your time and you know where you’re gonna value your time with the people that value you the most. Yeah. So this, this paradox of, Hey, anything I’m doing exceptionally, that I would do for free that I’m really passionate about, about helping people and other people paying me. Oh gosh, okay. I’ll take that feedback and I’ll go work more with them more with them more with them more with them. Most people have five or 10 huge opportunities lying in front of them, but they have so many beliefs laying with blame. They never look at the opportunities. Do you know what blame is? Shame and Blame Can’t Solve Problems Jenn DeWall: I mean, I look at it as like shame or self-judgment or judgment for others, Preston Brown: But it’s, here’s what it is. It’s an acronym. Being lazy and making excuses. The only thing that will ever set a human being free is the truth, which means you need data and information. Break apart the word information in formation. Thoughts can become things. That is how we form something. We get the data, we get the information, she got a feedback loop that people were giving her money because she was helping them. And now this unlicensed, masseuse helps more people, all the educated people do at higher prices. Like if I wanted her to come to my office today at probably 300, because she’s always booked, Jenn DeWall: Wow. That’s so really coming back down to ike passion, faith, like how can we find what that purpose is? Or how can we give, how can we do that? But I also like the rewiring of the thoughts. That’s something that I think is so important. I think a lot of people don’t realize I like the blame, even though I forgot what being lazy and making excuses. Preston Brown: Yeah, you got it! To Solve Problems, We Have to Remember We Have Choices Jenn DeWall: It. There we go. Got it. But, but because there is that like right within coaching, I feel like we have a choice and I know that this is gonna feel hard for some people to hear that. But we do get to choose. We have the opportunity to choose our thoughts, understand what’s really going on in there and rewrite that truth. And if you’re not choosing that, and if you’re living in blame of everything, the world is against you, then yeah. You’re not looking for your opportunities to change the situation. And there’s a level of accountability that people need to have and face. And I know that’s hard. It’s easier to blame, but like what can we do? Like that’s, that’s the way of motion forward. Preston Brown: Okay. So here here’s you want me to give you like a guarantee? I’ll give Jenn DeWall: Give me a guarantee! Preston Brown: Everybody watching your podcast gets a million dollars worth of information in the next few minutes. Because I believe facts do tell stories sell, and everybody, if hear, they’re not gonna understand this. But before we go into that, what do we do? How do we remove blame? And if there’s four cores to kind tie everything together, cause you gotta tie together like faith, family, fitness, finance. What if there was blame here in family? Could that affect me here in finance? Well, yes, it progress equals happy. Your anchoring, your anchoring, and family. These are tell one another. They may not be the same thing, but you live in the same skin. All these four things matter to you. They’re all tethered to one another. The single greatest anchor is going to prevent you. So how do we remove blame? Not even necessarily in the area it’s in, how do we live on purpose and what is living on purpose? It’s using the energy in motion that we have to create lasting passion. And let me compound that a little bit. Have you ever been angry? Jenn DeWall: <Laugh> of course. Preston Brown: Would you choose that emotion? Jenn DeWall: No. Preston Brown: So if you wouldn’t choose the emotion and we know we have a conscious mind and we could probably all agree that consciousness is what makes human beings human and you wouldn’t choose the emotion of anger. Then there was probably what’s called a subconscious pattern. Something that triggered you, that led you to the anger. Is that fair for the scientific method to get to anger? Jenn DeWall: Absolutely. Preston Brown: So then if consciousness makes us human subconsciousness, subhuman, Jenn DeWall: I mean, I don’t think it’s subhuman. Like <laugh> Negative Feelings are an Indicator You Have a Problem to Solve Preston Brown: I’m saying these as trigger statements for a reason. Okay. Because you wouldn’t have chose anger. So what’s the purpose. So the anger, the anger’s there to be indicator the pain’s there to be an indicator. The stress is there to be an indicator. It’s saying there’s something to solve. Not saying stay here. Jenn DeWall: Yeah. Preston Brown: Time to get into a trigger point. Like if you’re not in consciousness, because there’s a trigger that’s so loud that pulls you out of your decision-making conscious ability into a subconscious trigger space, then you’re no longer human because you’re no longer conscious. You’re literally the robot in the pattern. Does that make sense? Jenn DeWall: You’re also, yeah. You’re living on autopilot. You’re just Def like, it’s kind of thinking that like everything is happening to you. We’re not paying attention to what our triggers are and how that conscious to subconscious in info or I guess action information is there. Or I like to look at it as like our under stress self versus our stressed self of when we feel like the world might be spinning, versus when we feel more calm and able to see things clearer like that. Yeah. My default response for a lot of things can be frustration and anger, but I try to regulate that by being aware of my triggers. <Laugh> Preston Brown: You’re gonna love this story cause it’s gonna help you be aware of the triggers, but the triggers come from all four areas, like what is stress? Could, could we root it to a biochemical called cortisol in the body? Jenn DeWall: I mean, isn’t that what everyone is saying? Yeah. Or isn’t that what it is like, Preston Brown: You know, the cortisol is actually a wonderful biochemical. You know what the purpose of it is. Jenn DeWall: No! Preston Brown: You wake you up in the morning without a cortisol spike. You wouldn’t wake up in the morning. You literally die in your sleep. So cortisol’s critical. But, but a good thing too much of a good thing. If you drank 20 gallons of milk today, you’d probably so too much of a good thing can be bad. Right. So cortisol’s not a negative it’s we don’t know how to manage the biochemical factory that is our body. So I’m, I’m gonna kinda explain, can you get stressed on faith issues, energy in issues? Like we all need to fill our cup, right? Like, can you get stressed on issues? Yes, absolutely. Would that affect other areas maybe in your finance? Jenn DeWall: Absolutely. Preston Brown: So time you’re getting angry, you might have a finance goal, but it might be a phase or a family or a fitness thing it’s causing problems. Say you wake up with that pain. Oh man, that stresses me out. I have big meeting today, son, all of a sudden, and you get into this spiral. So I’m gonna go into a story that I think might be that million worth of information and maybe a life-changing moment if people hear it. And, and, and by the way, guys, you’re not following this. It’s going over your head one way to solve that– stand up. Then it’ll quick story of where I learned about the faith fitness, because literally at ripped out and root out problems. And when you’re rooting out problem here, you’re creating these situations and solutions here and, and, and life is all about like, where’s the anchor? So I, I meditate, I meditate a lot. I call it thinking time. Right. And, and I sit in water, whether it’s a hot tub or a river or whatever, I’m a nerd for water. Like on the Chinese calendar, they say, my personality’s a wood personality, but I guess gotta add some water to grow the wood. Right. So like whatever, I like water. I’ve always liked water. I sit there and I think, and so I’m sitting in a river one day and I’m drinking TRUS and I’m like, man, you know, just, I think I solved all the issues that I went there to think. Cause I normally like have an intention and, and I’m just thinking like, what’s the meaning of life. And I just got this download of information. Everybody’s had this at some point or another, like, they’ve just gotten a lot of information at once. Explaining the 4 Core Human Experiences Preston Brown: Where did that come from? And I started like wide. So writing there’s four core human experience like there’s faith, which is energy in like, I need to fill my cup. I can’t pour from an empty cup. There’s family. Like it’s energy expressed. It’s the way you show love. It’s the way that you show effective transfer action. Like even that love talk, we were talking earlier, it’s part of like transferring action, right? Then there’s fitness. There’s help. There’s wellness. Like we’re gonna exist in this body. Like so, so fitness. Then there’s finances, there’s resource management, you know, maybe God made us in his or her image, but infinite finite. So we’re more like a reflection, you know? So we’re finite. We need to worry about resources. So finances, not just money it’s resources. These are the four courses of the human experiences and man a lot of thoughts. It was a lot coming fast. So I wrote it down and I literally put a posting on the monitor of my computer for time to fitness finance. Just wanted to think on it. I, well, at this particular time I was taking a guy out of running one of my businesses and be real. Company’s a great guy. We different ideas. But time that you have a person exiting a company that used to work for you, especially in real estate, which is a big popularity contest type of business model, then it, it turns into a situation where you’re like, they’re open a to down and down background noise. Sorry- my dogs are in the background. Sorry. I wanna make sure that I’m giving you all that. Not with, with little list <laugh> running around there. So anyway, I’m, I’m taking him outta the company. He’s no longer gonna run it from me for me. And, and he’s, he’s tried to hire a lot of the agents within the company and I don’t want them to leave, but at the same time, like I understand that’s just markets. Just dynamics is how it works. Whatever. So I’m not worried. But one young lady walks into my office and pretty much demands coaching. At this point. I’ve got a lot of businesses. I’m coaching some folks that are wall street entrepreneurs. These people are hired to run large companies that are publicly traded. I’m not looking to coach a realtor, but I also know the police. I don’t help her. She’s gone. Applying the 4 Core Experiences to Problems Preston Brown: She’s gonna go with this guy. That’s that? I’m taking outta the business. Well, I sit down like, okay, cool. What are you looking for? All coaching? Like I almost don’t like the word coaching. Coaching is all influence. Here’s what you gotta do. You gotta help somebody get from point A to point B. They have a map in their mind. They wanna get here. They know they’re not there. Most of the time. They don’t know where they are. So you have to figure out where are they and where do they wanna go? Where do they really wanna go? And then coach them. OK. That’s all coaching is. So I’m what are you looking for? What do you wanna do? And she’s like, I need to get to six closings a month. I’ve got a lot of financial stress. She’s telling me all this stuff like, and, and she keeps, while she’s telling me this venting four children, lots of love there, but lots of stress. She’s empty. And then she’s venting about this husband she’s really mad at him. And I can’t, I dunno why. And I’ve never done like family coaching or relationship coaching, but I, I can hear there’s some frustration. I’m looking at her numbers on the computer and I’m like, okay, let’s see, you want six closings a month. How long do I have to get you there? She’s like, I need now. And I was like, now’s, let’s see where your numbers are. Five closings a month. She wanted a 1200% gain in her business. And I was like, now’s not gonna happen. 1200% gains a really good thing over a decade for most businesses. You want it now, how long do I really have? Like, like, and I’m just looking for her to be reasonable and rational because if you don’t have that, you can’t coach somebody anyway. Right. And she’s like, maybe we can do it in three months. So I was like, OK, you know what? Three months I could probably get a realtor, at least a two or three. And I know that just by putting in some fundamentals. And so tell me about your business. And she starts going. And significant emotional events in life creates significant emotional events later. And those little events that I’ve noticed before, start getting bigger. And, and I look at this post-it note sitting on my computer, say these hearing regretting them as they’re coming out of my mouth. I say tell me about your husband. Why am I saying this, here I am a white man in Me Too America. Why the hell did I say that? Tell me about your husband. Like I am like bullseye target. Number one. I should not be asking this question. Right. And oh my God, I had no idea what I was doing, but I’ve never done family coaching. We’re grabbing a tissue box. I’m hearing about lipstick on the collar. I’m hearing about the text messages she’s found. I mean, it is like it’s, it’s pretty obvious what she thinks is happening in this guy’s world, right? Yeah. I’m I’m oh, wow. I’m trying to bring myself. Finding the Right Problem to Solve Preston Brown: Ok some women would wanna murder him in various body in the desert. Others are gonna say, this is the of my dreams. I, where are you? And she’s like is of my dreams. And I’m like, cool, got a baseline. I don’t why he is leaving. I don’t why he is even this, that. And I’m like, okay, cool. She’s even like taking responsibility saying maybe I’ve done something wrong. Like I, if somebody’s taking responsibility, reverse the word, they have the ability to respond. They can change it. I’m like actually starting to get Hope’s hope there psychology. So few thoughts with you. I look, I say, do you know how many archetypes that a man has in his heart and his mind and his soul? He wants one thing. She’s like no, how many, like one, just one. We’re real simple. I wanna be superhero every day. I like, if you buy me a cape for Christmas, I’m happy. That’s me. You know how many women have. And she’s like, no, I said me either, but I know we can root them down to at least three there’s three archetypical personalities we can root a woman down to. You are a more sophisticated software with a more advanced brain. Okay. And in fact, I’ll prove it. Women use both sides of their brain nearly all the time. You know, men do that too, but only at two times, men can only use both sides of their brain when they’re either taking notes or having sex. Meaning outside of that, we’re either left or right. Not both. You guys are both always. Your emotional and logical portions are always connected. OK. And, and, and so I’m like, Hey, you have three. Let’s talk about what they are, because you can always like, kind of look at a woman and kind of figure out where she’s at within these three. There’s like 10,000, but there’s three that we can root to. Right? One is this highly playful, highly feminine creature and feminine energy is like this flowy, loving, experiencing the universe energy, right? It’s the energy that over 40,000 years of human history that the woman has used to attract the man. Everybody says opposites, attract opposite energy. If you are in masculine and a feminine walks by, I don’t care if you’re attracted or not. You’ll look, if she’s in her feminine, you’ll look, you can’t, we can’t avoid it. OK. Not even you’re checking her out. You just feel the feminine, right? You like, I like feminine. Wow. It’s crazy. You know? So this highly feminine creature called the play was one architect. Then there’s this like half feminine half masculine, let’s call her the mother. Guess what? She, she raise. If you’re two, you need somebody to be direct and intentional to lead you. That way you don’t hurt yourself or get in trouble, but you also need love and nurturing and all that. So it’s kinda half and half masculine. And then there’s this third one. My wife calls her and pardon of my Political correctness, the. And this one, it’s Babe in Total Control of Herself. Okay. This is the girl that 40,000 years ago, the men were off hunting. And what’s the most dangerous thing to a woman. Other man tribe. Other men comes in, they might steal stuff. They might hurt your children. You pick up a spear, you fend them off. And I look at this young lady that’s in my office. And I say, I think I might have an idea. And she says, what is it? And I said, you said you have four children. She said, yeah. I said, you’ve had four events where your body created life and created this chemical called oxytocin, which is the love hormone. You experience love at a level that no man will ever know in their entire lives. And you did it not once, but four times. You ever heard of pat lost dog, bring the bell, love, comfort food, bring the battle. They’ll comfort. Food love is the meaning of life. Girl. You’ve learned four times. OK. When you met him, I don’t think you were in that state. I think you were probably in a much more playful state, much more energetic state. She tells me and turns out, guess what? She’s in school, she’s in college. She’s doing this. She’s doing that. She was in a dance class. She was doing all these things. She was feminine. And I said, what if he’s not looking for another woman? What if he’s a guy with only one archetype? He doesn’t realize you’re a more advanced creature. And he doesn’t realize that the four children might have pushed you into another archetype. What if he’s looking for the year you first met and, and it was like mic drop moment because I watched her eyes like, well up. And I watched her like for the first second have this thing called hope. And I was like, I’m getting somewhere. Oh, I might be getting, this is really good. And so then listened for a few more minutes while I’m getting my thoughts. And I’m like all, what were your favorite behaviors? What were you doing when you met him? She was in a dance class. She was getting massages once a month. And she was doing shopping retail therapy, I think with like her mom, but she didn’t have the money for retail therapy, but she could go and at least look, window shop. Right? Is Your Financial Problem Really a Family Problem? Preston Brown: So I gave her homework. I said, you do this, you do this, you do this. Because behaviors for women equals emotions. But you guys gotta fill your at least weekly and do those behaviors. Otherwise you will empty like all of you all and, and we will too. But we, we empty a little slower. So you guys gotta be recharging, right? So I do those little questions and she answers and this girl’s, she’s doing all this a month. She has stepped back into her place. She’s still a mother when she needs to women get switched like that. You guys are like super computers. You can go one place to another. You’re amazing. But all of my companies are run by women. For this reason, you have better brains and I’m not knocking men. Men are really good at really intense, focused stuff. But women can like feel environments and you switch depending on the needs of the environment. Beautiful. But when you get stuck, it can be damning and it can really curse the situation. Well, within a month, she’s back to being herself, switching, where she needs to go. This man is eating out of her hands. He discloses the relationship. He never slept with the other girl, I think did kiss her. He screwed up, but not as bad as thought the marriage is better. You know what, Jenn, this is actually a story of failure. I did not speak to the girl again for quite a while. She did tell me that he disclosed the relationship and ended it and they were doing better. That was about a month later, but it took about four and a half months. I think we were approaching the fifth month when she showed up in my office. And she said, Hey, I’m closing my sixth deal this month next week. So I didn’t do it in three months. It took four. We never did a financial coaching, but faith, family, fitness, finance. There was a family issue anchoring this incredibly powerful woman. And all that we had to do was get her out of her own way, remove the negative trigger, remove the subconscious trigger, the blame, the being lazy and making excuses from the situation to pull her back into her conscious mind that allowed her to naturally elevate. And she got exactly what she wanted. Final Advice From Preston Jenn DeWall: That is a crazy story. Not like on the delivery of both the finance piece, the family piece, the faith like just, yeah, that’s a perfect example of all four anchors. And I’m so happy that like, she, you know, has that for herself, that she has that growth. Like, cuz you want that for humanity. I love that. You talked about having hope again, thinking differently, you know, shifting in back into our conscious mind of not just being reactive to the life that we have Preston, I love this and I know that we have to wrap our podcast. I think that’s a powerful story. What would be a closing remark that you would have, or if you wanna give any closing feedback to The Leadership Habit audience that have been joining us for this conversation, Preston Brown: You know, I mean live every day on purpose, take every negative emotion that you all might experience this. I mean, it’s part of life, but take it as feedback, take it as indicators and really stop pause, appreciate it. Figure out what the real root is and then go solve for that. Because honestly, when you solve for that, the faith of a mustard seed really can move mountains and, and it, by nature of just doing what we’re intended to do and living within our purpose and being authentic and real, you get to start living the life you watch on TV instead of just watching on TV. Jenn DeWall: Yes. I love that. Well, and we all have access to that. Preston. Where can people get in touch with you? How to Connect with Preston Brown Preston Brown: All my social medias are like The Preston Brown or I guess @ThePrestonBrown and, and my team does respond. We, we do comment like, so if you have questions or anything like we, we, we try to make sure that we get to here. Jenn DeWall: Preston, your enthusiasm, your stories, just your experience is such a, I’m so happy that we had it. It was such a wealth of knowledge. And thank you so much for giving your time or investing your time in to share this with our audience. I am so grateful. I love your energy. You guys have to follow The Preston Brown. You can find him on Insta. You can find him on multiple social platforms, but you have to connect. Preston’s go in big places. You already are at big places. Let’s be honest like, but I know that it’s gonna be awesome to continue to watch what you do. I’ve I’ve just really loved meeting you. Thank you so much for coming on the show. Preston Brown: It’s an honor. Thanks for having me. Jenn DeWall: Thank you so much for listening to this week’s episode of The Leadership Habit Podcast with Preston Brown. I really enjoyed my conversation with him. I felt like he gave so many unique insights and if you want to connect with Preston, you can head on over to connect with him @ThePrestonBrown on all platforms, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and LinkedIn. Jenn DeWall: And of course, speaking of problems, if Crestcom can help you solve your organizational or leadership problems, we would love to help head on over to crescom.com. And there you can find more information about our 12 month long leadership development program. And finally, Hey, if you enjoyed this episode, be sure to leave us a review on your favorite podcast streaming platform. Until next time. The post Solving Problems Through Faith, Family, Fitness and Finance with Preston Brown appeared first on Crestcom International.

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The Leadership Habit

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Solving Problems Through Faith, Family, Fitness and Finance with Preston Brown

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