Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

How can you navigate the world of online dating and find a partner with the qualities you’re looking for? How can you avoid wasting time on drama and ghosters and find people interested in a similar connection?  It’s hard to know much about a person by evaluating their online profile. Most profiles keep it surface level- their hobbies, career, favorite books, etc. But who are they really? What are their values? And what level of commitment are they looking for?  When you’re online dating with the intention of finding a partner and real commitment, it can be hard to decipher who is on the same page. And the “swiping” culture doesn’t help with clarity… Physical attraction can become the highest value and maybe you’re basing that first impression solely on their profile picture. Or maybe you’re only looking for casual sex, no strings attached. What’s important is being clear and upfront about your intentions and what level of commitment you’re looking for! Without communicating this, somebody could be hurt. Authenticity will prevent things from getting lost in translation and save everyone’s time.  Online dating can be tricky… and putting yourself out there can be a little scary! So, when you set up your online profile, ask yourself: Who am I? What do I need? What qualities are important to me in a partner? What kind of commitment and connection am I looking for? And then, make those values very clear on your profile.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why is makeup sex so hot?! Emotions are so raw in the moment… and anger can be arousing! The passion is mutual and therefore, even hotter! Energy is high, inhibitions are low, and both partners are present. Distance is created when fighting and the act of makeup sex literally bridges that distance. The most threatening part of a relationship is right before the makeup scene… the riskiness. Which is why the experience of overcoming those fears together feels even better. It’s the mutual affirmation that brings greater connection—which equals greater sex!  But how can we skip the fighting and distance altogether and still get this kind of passion in everyday sex?! What risks can you take together that will bring you closer? It’s about being present in the moment together… Maybe it’s going on a high-adrenaline date together like skydiving. Or meeting in a bar as strangers! Even taking emotional risks and revealing vulnerable parts of yourself can be arousing... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you always having what feels like the same fight? Does the negative cycle leave you feeling frustrated and angry? Or misunderstood and like you're failing? Can you see what your partner does clearly but not see how what you do is contributing to the problem?   George and Laurie use and acronym T.E.M.P.O. to help organize your thinking so you can be less reactive. Getting to know your feelings, what your body is communicating and how you are making sense of it all can give you emotional intelligence. Find the "space" that can change the pattern so you can help each other in these difficult moments and stay connected. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let’s open the door to the erotic mind of a female…What do women fantasize about? What gets them hot? Not just fantasizing in the moment—but even daydreaming can be exciting. Our minds are designed to wander… Women often turn the switch “on” by thinking about old memories, fantasies, romance novels, movies, etc. These scenarios and thoughts tend to have more of a romantic narrative than men. There can be more emotional connection involved sometimes, but women also fantasize about being “taken” and respond to a man’s powerful, dominating sexual energy! There is no shame in whatever your fantasies may be, and it can be freeing to express those with your partner! If exploring those fantasies together increases your engagement and keeps you present in the moment—it’s a good thing! Creating the safety to have these conversations is a great start that will lead to a deeper connection.   In this week’s episode, Laurie shares her perspective on the erotic mind of women with George, and together they break down the themes of female arousal... Please support our sponsors: 10% OFF Uberlube.com with the coupon: FOREPLAY $20% OFF + Free Shipping on Manscaped products with coupon: FOREPLAY OmgYES.com/FOREPLAY Addyi.com/Foreplay Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Why do men struggle with expressing their emotions? Often they’ve spent much of their lives learning how to avoid feeling vulnerable at all costs—adhering to values such as toughness, assertiveness, logic, disciple, and confidence. They are trained to feel like expressing their emotions is a “weakness,” making them reluctant to embrace being vulnerable. How can we help men/ emotional withdrawers open up and be vulnerable?  As a partner, you can encourage vulnerability by creating safety. A soft approach is important to reassure the withdrawer that they aren’t doing anything “wrong.” Being too pushy can make the withdrawer more defensive and retreat. When initiating a conversation, it should be an invitation—not an accusation. Being vulnerable can take time... so pace it and celebrate the little wins! We want men/withdrawers to embrace the positive benefits of vulnerability to bring deeper intimacy! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What are some of the common sexual "blocks" that women experience? Reservations around the idea of sex can come from a number of things – religious values, guilt and shame, body image and acceptance, or society's perception of female sexuality. These inhibitions can shut down the erotic mind completely... How can females overcome these hindrances and develop a healthier relationship to sex? Listen to this week's episode as Laurie & George answer questions from fans! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pursuers become burned out after being turned down time and time again... This rejection causes them to lose their confidence and be more cautious. How can men get back their sexy confidence and energy that women crave?!  Great sex NEEDS communication! Pursuers have to change their relationship to getting feedback- welcoming it instead of perceiving it as criticism and pushing back.  Men need to champion themselves internally with affirmations- talk yourself up, you handsome devil! Take charge like a 21st century pirate- with communication and strong energy! Borrow some mojo from other roles in your life where you do feel confident and in your element! Fantasize about a different, more confident you...Rocky in the bedroom! The pirate, the caveman! Listen to Laurie and George talk about the ways that men can get their mojo back after being shot down... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When sexual pursuers make attempts to initiate sex, they are coming from a good place-- but their method of delivery may not be the best.   When their attempts are not reciprocated by the withdrawer, they can feel rejection, hurt, and anger. This is a major dilemma. Pursuers can come across as being critical of their partner if they don’t approach it in the right way. A soft or playful approach is best, and being vulnerable is key for both partners!   If the pursuer is brave enough to initiate the conversations, withdrawers need to respond better by matching their partner’s mood. But withdrawers also need affirmation in these conversations - How can sexual pursuers represent themselves and express their sexual needs without pressuring their partner? How can withdrawers listen to their partner and express their own feelings? Listen as George and Laurie keep going back to the drawing board in a roleplay. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In early dating years our partner’s face lights up at the thought of sex, they tell us with their eyes that we make them hot. The gleam in their eyes hits our body, hits our center, hits our being.  Feeling that we light up their world is a turn-on! Secure attachment begins with the loving gaze of our mother or parent – cradled in the crook of their elbow – they smile and coo because we are theirs.  Later in childhood we know we belong and make our parents proud when we see it in their eyes… not so much for our accomplishments but because we are their son or daughter.  In romantic partnership, sexual desire that radiates from our partner’s face and gaze is a powerful reminder of belonging, safety. We revel in being the person who excites our partner. What happens though when our partner is willing to have sex but doesn’t give us that deep reassurance that we are desirable with a gleam in their eye? Can we get it back? How do we tell them what we need from them to turn on?  Listen as George and Laurie get through to each other about how sexual desire is tied to being the gleam in our partner’s eyes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you lost your confidence in bed? Anxiety is a sex killer. Whether it’s anxiety over your performance, being vulnerable, being naked, expectations of yourself, or of what sex is supposed to be like… any of these might interfere with pleasure, communication, self-esteem, and connection.   This week, EFTers, Trainer Dr. Zoya Simakhodskaya, Ph.D. and Supervisor Michael Moran, LCSW, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, CST join George and Laurie to talk about how playfulness is the antidote to anxiety when making love! Join us, as four sex therapists&couples counselors share how to start with a light, playful mood to shift the energy. Breathe and be powerful in overcoming any root of anxiety in bed. Can’t beat the fun or experience present in this episode as these two experts teach and tell their stories about helping couples change their sexperience from fear to confidence. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices