Foreplay Radio – Couples and Sex Therapy

"Am I too much? Will I always hunger for this connection?" If these are common questions you've asked yourself while stuck in a negative cycle with your partner you may be a sexual pursuer. Join George and Laurie in today's episode where they discuss new ways sexual pursuers can communicate their needs in Stage--2 of EFT. In Stage 2 the couple is aware of their negative cycle and understanding of the good reasons they have been missing each other. Stage 2 is the creation of a positive cycle that is focused on understanding, connection and expression of needs. The work of the sexual pursuer in Stage 2 is to soften the expression of those needs--rather than using criticism to express the felt rejection, working towards expressing with vulnerability. George and Lauri's role play will provide reassurance that new conversations and getting needs met are possible as couples are working together against the cycle in a new cycle that fosters closeness and connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've discussed the negative sexual cycle couples get stuck in and highlight just how important it is to name and tame it. As EFT therapists we know that de-escalating the cycle is the first step in moving partners from fighting one another to fighting the cycle together. In today's episode we are talking about Stage 2 in EFT and the creation of a new, positive cycle. [Insert episode link] In stage two, the cycle is de-escalated, partners feel more on the same team and there is safety to begin exploring and expressing needs and longings to your partner. George and Laurie role play the needs a sexual withdrawer might have and the new moves they make to share with their sexual pursurer. In the role play, George comes away with three possible moves for the newly reengaged sexual withdrawer: permission to not be interested in sex tonight, reassurance if they struggle during sex and celebration if they are successful. If you are a sexual withdrawer you definetely want to listen to this episode. And pursuers, we didn't forget you at all! We see how hard you work for the relationship and thank you for your patience. As you hear Laurie say, "Don't tell me to calm down!" We'll be back next week to talk all about pursuers in Stage 2!Don't forget to join us on October 28th at our Great Love, Great Sex virtual couples retreat. Register at www.foreplayrst.com under the resources tab. We can't wait to see you there!Check out our most excellent sponsors!Green Chef -- if you are busy like George and I are, Green Chef is for you! Rather than scrounging for something to eat in the pantry and ending up ordering out for pizza, Green Chef sends you what you need for great, healthy meals. They have vegan, Paleo, and other specialized meals that taste great! Dine like you have your own privat chef. Go to https://www.greenchef.com/Foreplay135 and get $135 off your first 5 boxes and your first box ships free!Uberlube.com -- Uberlube is our preferred lubricant for great sex! It's silicone-based and won't stain, is water-soluable, and is all-around fantastic!OMGYes.com -- Great information about women's pleasure. Science-backed information that is tasteful and helpful! A great resource that gives you language to talk about sex. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’ve talked about the cycle before and we’re talking about it again. This time we explore what EFT calls Stage 2. Why? because after de-escalating conflict there’s more to do to get closer with your partner! Join Laurie and George for this episode to understand how your moves and your partners moves impact one another and the deeper, unseen meanings they have. When we start to understand the good reasons we are missing each other there is opportunity to connect. Does your partner’s criticism represent their hope for the relationship? Does their silence mean they are trying to keep the pressure low? Hear how we flip the script to help you keep it hot!!Hey therapists, do you need help understanding and de-escalating the sexual cycle for your couple clients? We hope you’ll meet us on March 3 & 4th 2023 (date change) for our training on this topic.Check out our great sponsors!Dame Products produces fantastic, innovative vibrators for women! Go to DameProducts.com and use the coupon code 'Foreplay' for 20% off your order!ZocDocs is the place to go on the web to get immediate attention to your medical issues. Go to zocdoc.com/foreplay and download the app. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What is your body communicating? During one of our most essential episodes, Laurie and George discuss the value of bringing attention and awareness into our bodies. Emotions show up physically and send out signals. It’s been reported that anger often shows up as a headache, anxiety as tension in the chest and throat, sadness as a caving in sensation, happiness as a whole-body warmth. When partners have more awareness of what shows up physically they increase their ability to slow down in the face of conflict and also connect more with their sexual selves. Bringing the body on board reflects our holistic mission to integrate the mind, heart and body.Try this exercise today to tune into what your body is communicating to you: Sit comfortably, find stillness and recall a time when you felt hurt/shut down/rejected by your partner. Where does that show up on your body? Now recall a time where your partner turned to you during pain/comforted you/expressed how meaningful you are to them. Slow down and notice what is there. Let us know in the comments what you observed. We’re right on this journey with you! Keep it hot and get into the body!Join Laurie and George for their Great Sex, Great Love virtual retreat on October 28th. Partners can expect to learn more about listening to what your body is saying and how to share it with your love!Check out our sponsors:Laurie has been recommending Uberlube to clients for years; long before Foreplay started. It is an awesome lubricant that makes sex better! Use the coupon code 'Foreplay' to receive 10% off your order!Check out our sponsor OMGYES.com for fantastic information about how to get her to climax. Tastefully crafted information that is research-based and rock solid. Visit omgyes.com/foreplay for more information! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The hosts discuss the factors that hinder women's sexual desire and offer strategies to help revive it. They explore the fear of discussing sexual issues and introduce a product called OMG YES. They provide resources and discounts for couples to improve their sexual experiences. The dynamics of sexual withdrawal in a relationship are explored, along with the importance of establishing connection and conversation for better intimacy.

Listen to a caller who leaves us a message about her husband telling her he thinks she’s too heavy to be attractive. Laurie and George work through their own reaction and anger at this painful message to our listener. We question the narrowness of her partner’s focus on a minimal change (she’s young and fit) as opposed to having a broader view of eroticism that includes her body, her spirit, her heart, and her mind. If you ever wanted to hear George get hot under the collar with pursuer energy and righteous anger.. here’s a good episode.Visit Dame Products for a complete line of excellent and innovative vibrators. Rev up your sex life with Dame! Use the coupon code 'Foreplay' for 15% off your first order! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So many women seem to just give up on sex. Maybe they reach menopause and they’re done with sex. Or maybe well before menopause , she and her partner haven’t gotten through to each other and sex stops. Orif sex continues, she just is unengaged. How can something that feels so good be relegated to such a low/no priority? Here’s why.Females who don’t want to have sex are often stopped in 3 areas: the relationship - especially lack of communication, worry areas – disgust about certain sex acts, poor body image, or fear about not pleasing their partner pleasure – loss of interest when she doesn’t climax or experience pleasure  George and Laurie discuss these areas and role play an initial conversation as a couple talking about her sexual blocks. Visit ZocDoc.com/FOREPLAY to get the free app in order to find the best doctors, in the specialty you need, with the insurance you have closest to your neighborhood! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In our world with its focus on physical perfection, we all have aspects of our body which we criticize, and even avoid looking at in the mirror. These critical thoughts can intrude before, during, and after sex, diminishing our ability to be in the moment with our partner. We talk through this thorny issue as an example of how to begin to address it with your partner.Check out our sponsor: Uberlube for the best in siilcone-based lubricants! As George says, silicone makes everything is a little bit better. Get 10% off with the coupon code 'foreplay'! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Oral sex - you like it. You don’t like it. What works. What doesn’t work. Laurie and George talk about it all. They role play a couple who gets stuck in retaliation - if you don’t go down on me; I won’t go down on you. Then, they demo how a couple might talk to help each other work through their difficulties with oral sex.For a great hands-free vibrator, go to dameproducts.com and use code FOREPLAY today for 15% off site wide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sometimes sex is awesome; sometimes not. This episode shows you how to turn up the heat when it's not!Thanks to our sponsors:BetterHelp.com/Foreplay for 10% off your first month!Uberlube.com - Foreplay rated as the best lubricant! Use the coupon for 10% off! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices