Elis James and John Robins

It's all about heights today, as despite scaling the lofty heights of the digital UK audio comedy chat rock face, Elis is still uncomfortable when confronted by a modicum of verticality. But not the case for John who is going to push his own ocular mountaineering boundaries.Elsewhere there’s dinner dates, Welsh heart rates and service stations potentially located on J8. Oh and there’s an unexpected detour into sex clubs.If you're under 40 and therefore apparently know about sex clubs then John, entering his sex club year, would very much like to hear it. elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp.But no filth please, because unlike rival shows this is not a sex podcast!

After the wave of excitement around Mr Audio’s new Welsh podcast project 'Welsh Rarebit: Grilled by Elis James', it’s time for John to enter the lucrative side-hustle podcast game. Step forward 'Trauma on The Tee with John Robins'. If deep emotional conversations and the latest bunker wedges are your thing, keep your ears peeled.But here on this podcast, featuring two of the country’s brightest and best comedians, it’s actually Producer Dave who comes up with the best quip of the episode. Ring that good podcasting bell!Keep sending us your memos, missives and scribblings. All to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk. Or if you’re super modern you can WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.And make sure to listen on the world’s most intuitive app: BBC Sounds.

Elis and John have been on journeys this week, both metaphorically and literally. Yes we cover their travel woes as the pair journeyed back from Wales (Elis sustained by Aberystwyth goodwill, John driven by the need to forge his own path), but we also cover the spiritual journeys undertaken in the realms of teeth whitening, shoe laces, and slug juice.Aside from all the journeying there’s a new character introduced to the mix, a desperate attempt from Elis to avoid the hat trick of failures in the Cymru Connection, and a belter of a Made Up Game.Keep your tiptop emails and WhatsApps coming in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 respectively. And make sure you’re listening on the world’s favourite app: BBC Sounds.

It’s happened. Elis and John have turned into crypto bros. This is now a crypto pod. It was only a matter of time…But worry not, it’s only a fleeting transformation, and after some serious reflections the boys are back doing what they do best: discussing how to approach an all-you-can-eat buffet, wading further into the dried fruits vs sweets debate, and questioning the coolness of marshmallows.John reflects on yet another successful golfing trip, and Elis delivers his latest hot take on popcorn. It’s vintage stuff.If this show were an old steam train, then your correspondence would be the steam. We need it to keep the wheels running. Send it to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, or get in touch via WhatsApp on 07974 293 022.And remember that the greatest track upon which to listen to the show (if it were still an old steam train) would be the trusty tracks of BBC Sounds.

It’s a giddy John we encounter today, for our hero is about to embark on his yearly golfing pilgrimage to Elis’s beloved Portugal. Talk of unspeakably high win rates and historic opportunities to become “better than Man City at golf” abounds.Elsewhere, there’s a lengthy discussion about the pros and cons of skipping TV theme music, an eventful outing of John’s favourite feature The Cymru Connection (which leads to a yet another new podcast idea for Mr Audio), and a “billy-bink-bink-bonks” Shame Well entry.Keep sending us your games, shames, petty objections and Welsh connections. All this to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or WhatsApp the show on 07974 293 022.And remember that the best listening experience happens on the greatest audio platform in the biz: BBC Sounds.

Tick tock Robins went down in history. But tick tock Masterman? Now that’s a whole different ball game. Like Stuart Pearce or Joe Royle missing the team bus, you’d think that unheard of, but not today. So expect the sackings to fly.Away from such tardiness, Elis reads the best and second best emails of this financial quarter, John features in one of sport’s most hilarious beefs and, shockingly I know, in depth service station chat interrupts some Tolkien Mad Daddery.If you want to provide the best email of Q4 then send it in to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or if WhatsApp’s your digital bag then 07974 293 022 is the number to save in your phone.

Oh we do have some fun don’t we. And if the Funometer was measuring in funtometres then today’s show would cause it to 404 error due to exceeding the fun scale. And it’s in large part because walking jingler David O’Doherty is on the show with a funtastic Made Up Game to play!Plus there’s a Shame that’ll really make you squirm and an absolutely compelling Welshman for Elis to sink his parochial teeth into. But there’s also time for #reflection with some earth shattering news about the Bag of Death.And to get in touch with the show it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk or 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp for all of your intense poetry.

As time continues its cruel, relentless, and inevitable march onwards, thoughts turn to retirement plans; how will our heroes see out their final days? Who has their eye on one big final paycheck? The answer may surprise you. And who doesn’t mind just fizzling out quietly? Elis.It’s also a big day for Producer Dave, as his lost university dissertation finally sees the light of day. The nation has been waiting with baited breath to hear about the past, present, and future of Sheffield Hallam’s student radio station Rush Radio, and today we can deliver the goods.And fortunately/unfortunately (deleted as appropriate), there is still a little bit of the dance to be danced...Please do continue to send in your excellent correspondence via the usual channels. For email users it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, and for WhatsApp aficionados it’s 07974 293022.

After such vigorous dancing last time out the boys have done their stretches and downed their recovery shakes in preparation for a classic Elis and John day at the office.In a quite astonishing move, Dave takes a laptop to church, Elis struggles to follow the recipe and there’s a Cymru Connection for which circular content was designed for.Elis also takes in some excellent advice from you the you the listener on how he can chart the waters of wedlock and John makes a quite startling revelation about how he spent the other afternoon.If you don't already, listen to the show on BBC Sounds. It's completely free to download and you get ALL BBC audio right at your fingertips! To get in touch on this and that it’s elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk, and on WhatsApp 07974 293 022. And yes, you can now stop emailing about dynamic ticket pricing, for the inbox has exploded to the degree that we might have to increase the entry price due to demand.

We’re all excited about dancing the dance. The most intimate dance. Cheek to cheek entering the ballroom. John woke up at 3:30 this morning on edge about dancing the dance. His favourite conversation. The romantic frisson. The interplay between venue capacity, ticket price and audience demand. The delicious dance. The one thing better than talking about the dance is being actually involved in the dance.What the above probably hasn’t elucidated is, it should be pointed out, is that the dance more specifically is 45 minutes of discussion about dynamic pricing. This might not be for everyone. So if you’re against that then do leave the show playing whilst you nip out the house because we need to keep those retention figures up.There are things in this episode which don’t involved dancing but it makes up about 25%.The email address for the show is elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk and 07974 293 022 on WhatsApp. Feel free to email in about The Dance but if Production have to read 120 emails on Monday morning about dynamic pricing then it will likely make them sad.