Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy

Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches
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Oct 27, 2025 • 26min

129 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 4, 5, and 6)

Sexual betrayal destroys all trust in a marriage. When the lies and double life of an unfaithful husband (or wife) come to light, the betrayed spouse has no solid ground to stand on. What was real is instantly shattered and nothing is clear anymore.   It can leave an unfaithful spouse struggling for a way to regain the trust that was selfishly tossed aside. Trust is earned - not expected just by virtue of staying married.   But when trust is lost, trustworthiness displayed daily will not only help to restore personal integrity, but it can also pave the way for a betrayed spouse to consider trusting again.     Last week, we did a deep dive into the first three of twelve markers of a trustworthy husband; he is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest, has no secrets from his wife, and initiates difficult conversations. There was a lot packed into that episode so if you missed it we encourage you to go back and listen to episode 128.   Today we are going to unpack the next three markers of a trustworthy husband:   A trustworthy husband listens to understand. A trustworthy husband apologizes to help his wife heal. A trustworthy husband prioritizes his wife above all other people.   Grab a pumpkin spiced something and tuck in for a revealing look into our recovery process as we discovered how a track record of trustworthiness helped ear back trust in our marriage.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 10. When “I’m Sorry” Isn’t Enough: 8 Steps to a Healing Apology Episode 52. What Is His Response To Her BIG Emotions After Porn-Fueled Infidelity? Episode 66. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #2 Prioritize Her   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Oct 20, 2025 • 41min

128 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Markers 1, 2, and 3)

When trust has been shattered after marital infidelity is revealed through either discovery or confession, what hope does a repentant husband have for regaining his wife’s trust? Will she ever be able to trust him again?   These are common questions many couples ask as they sift through the rubble of what was once considered to be a happy, loving, and committed marriage.   Fortunately, there is an answer to this difficult question because when unfaithful husbands destroy trust in their marriage, there is a hope of restoring this broken part of the relationship by showing up daily as "trustworthy".   On last week’s episode, we introduced the 12 markers for becoming a trustworthy husband.   On today's show we will dive deeper into the first three markers of a trustworthy husband. A trustworthy husband is transparent, vulnerable, and rigorously honest. A trustworthy husband has no secrets from his wife. A trustworthy husband initiates difficult conversations.   Join us for a candid conversation about our experience with broken trust and trustworthiness displayed after infidelity was discovered in our marriage.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 92. Dying to Self: Transformational Moments in Recovery from Sexual Betrayal Episode 111. 111 | Need a Full Therapeutic Disclosure After Infidelity? (Part 1)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Oct 13, 2025 • 19min

127 | 12 Markers of a Trustworthy Husband (Series Intro)

When infidelity shatters the reality of a perceived happy marriage and reveals a foundation crumbling under the weight of lies and deception, one of the most difficult losses is the trust that was instinctively given when exchanging vows to love, honor, and cherish one another.  This loss of trust can be more painful than betrayal itself. It can leave a wife on unsteady ground with little hope that any trust for her husband can be regained. In today’s show, we’ll discuss what the loss of trust feels like from a betrayed wife's perspective and also explore the hope an unfaithful husband has for re-gaining the precious trust that was once so lovingly shared at the beginning of their journey together.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 64. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs From Her Recovering Husband (Series) Episode 65. 5 Things a Betrayed Wife Needs...(Series) #1 See Her Pain   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Oct 6, 2025 • 33min

126 | Forgiving Yourself After Betraying Your Wife

Explore the internal struggles of self-forgiveness after betrayal. Discover how toxic beliefs fuel shame and self-sabotage, creating barriers to healing. Johnny shares his journey from self-loathing to acceptance, emphasizing the importance of recognizing God's forgiveness. Practical exercises like writing forgiveness letters help listeners release their burdens. The conversation encourages husbands and wives to support each other's recovery journeys, fostering a deeper understanding of healing and grace.
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Sep 29, 2025 • 39min

125 | 4 Reasons Showing Compassion Feels Risky for Betrayed Wives

Navigating the aftermath of betrayal in marriage is a challenging journey. Showing compassion can feel risky for betrayed wives, as it clashes with protective instincts and fears of further harm. The hosts discuss why reluctance doesn't mean a lack of compassion and explore four reasons for this hesitance. They share Emily's story of moving from a protective stance to offering compassion as she learns about her husband's struggles. Their reflections highlight the delicate balance between personal pain and the healing power of empathy.
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Sep 22, 2025 • 29min

124 | From Hurt to Hope Through Rigorous Honesty

When you hear the word “honesty,” what comes to mind? Is it a simple binary—you either tell the truth or you don’t?   Or do you see it on a sliding scale, where a “little white lie” is a 2 and a deliberate, premeditated deception is a 10?   If your marriage has been shattered by porn-fueled infidelity, you know the brutal truth: the lies and deception surrounding the acting out are often more destructive to trust than the acts themselves.   In this powerful second part of our conversation, We recap the five ways we lie from last week—commission, omission, deflection, justifying, and gaslighting—and dive deep into how embracing rigorous honesty can pave the way for trust and healing.   Join us as we unpack what this kind of honesty looks like, how to attain it, and how it impacted our recovery process.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 109. Healing Through Honesty: A View Into a Marriage Transformed by Truth (with Sathiya Sam) Episode 123. The One Thing Worse Than Infidelity in Marriage   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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10 snips
Sep 15, 2025 • 33min

123 | The One Thing Worse Than Porn-Fueled Infidelity in Marriage

In relationships wounded by betrayal, it's often the web of lies that causes the deepest harm. This discussion explores the nuanced ways lies erode trust, from outright falsehoods to subtle omissions. The hosts share personal stories highlighting five types of lies: commission, omission, deflection, justifying, and gaslighting. Their journey emphasizes the importance of honesty and transparency for rebuilding trust. Through faith and rigorous honesty, they illustrate that healing and true intimacy are achievable.
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Sep 8, 2025 • 38min

122 | Can Jesus Be Found in the Traditional 12-Steps of Addiction Recovery?

What comes to mind when someone brings up 12-Step recovery?   Maybe you think of Alcoholics Anonymous?   Or perhaps group meetings?   Do you also wonder if 12-Step programs are only for those who don’t see Jesus as Savior and Lord of all?   Should followers of Christ consider participating, even if Jesus isn't the central focus?   There are certainly some common misconceptions about where the original twelve steps come from and how they are meant to be used.   Today, we’ll look at a few of the most prevalent misunderstandings surrounding this simple yet effective program for addiction recovery and discover if these twelve steps are a clear path to God.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 25.Persistent Sexual Integrity Issues in Marriage. Do Recovery Programs Really Work?  Episode 49. Sobriety vs. Recovery After Porn-Fueled Infidelity   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Sep 1, 2025 • 35min

121 | I Need You Where I Am: My Wife Feels "This Way" Because...(Series 3 of 3)

Today we wrap up our series, I Need You Where I AM. In the first episode of our series, we focused on a statement that many betrayed wives relate to, "My Husband Just Doesn’t 'Get It'.”   And what is the “it” he’s not getting? Not understanding the magnitude of what his actions through infidelity have done to her.    In the second episode in our series, we covered some of the ways betrayed wives are affected by their husband’s infidelity. Not the least of which is grief. But in an everyday way, it can look like experiencing new health issues, being triggered by movies, TV shows, music, and even reading the Bible.   Today we are giving husbands hope for addressing his wife’s needs in a practical way. To help Johnny see past himself to how Emily was being affected by his sexual betrayal, he created a process to handle her big emotions based on an internal statement, My wife feels this way because…   Join us for the rest of the statement plus 4 important things it does to help both spouses heal.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3) Episode 120. I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  
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Aug 25, 2025 • 30min

120 | I Need You Where I Am: Infidelity's Surprising Effects for Her (Series 2 of 3)

Today in the second installment of our series, I Need You Where I Am, we turn the spotlight fully onto the wreckage inside a wife’s body and soul after sexual betrayal.   The physical, emotional, and spiritual effects of betrayal trauma are real and profound. A wife experiencing these effects may think she is going crazy. She is not. It just feels that way.   As we talked about last week, a husband who “gets it” understands the magnitude of the effects of his betrayal on his wife. This man can show compassion and empathy by looking past his own situation to see his wife’s pain.   In this episode, we will share our experience with the effects of betrayal trauma as well as hope for the future where the trauma is healed and life becomes new.   We pray this blesses you,   Johnny and Emily   💜Work with us! coaching.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Hang out with us and support our ministry on Patreon, beyondbrokenvows.com/partner 💜Become a Beyond Broken Vows Insider! Receive our weekly newsletter with behind-the-scenes stories, marriage tips, podcast previews and early access to giveaways and promotions! insider.beyondbrokenvows.com 💜Send us a voice message on SpeakPipe   RESOURCES:      Request the Healing Apology worksheet, support@beyondbrokenvows.com Download our e-book, “9 Steps to Healing After Sexual Betrayal: For Couples Who Have Chosen to Stay Married” Covenant Eyes Use promo Code BBV to get 30 days free! (website purchase only)   RELATED EPISODES: Episode 22. How Long Will This Hurt? Experiencing The 5 Stages of Grief Through the Lens of Sexual Betrayal Episode 119. I Need You Where I Am: Why Unfaithful Husbands Just Don’t Get It (Series 1 of 3)   NEXT STEPS:     ✔️FOLLOW so you don’t miss a show!     ✔️Leave a 5-star rating & written review on Apple Podcast. ✔️ You can connect with us at support@beyondbrokenvows.com.  

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