From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer cover image

From Crisis to Connection - with Geoff & Jody Steurer

Latest episodes

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May 21, 2021 • 50min

Protecting your marriage in a faith crisis (part 1) - Tony Overbay - Episode 93

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description I'm joined by therapist and fellow podcaster, Tony Overbay, to talk about how couples can stay connected to each other when one partner leaves their shared faith. This is often a transition that is difficult for most couples to navigate, as a departure from the beliefs and values that brought them together can introduce new questions and fears about their future. In this episode, we discuss:  Why it's called a faith crisis Why this is so difficult for couples The first thing couples should know if one of them begins to experience this The healthiest way for the one struggling with their faith to address their change How the other spouse can respond in a healthy way How couples can work together even though they're going different directions.    More on Tony's Background: Tony Overbay is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (CA LMFT#92443), a Certified Mindful Habit Coach (CMHC), and a popular motivational speaker. Tony regularly speaks at corporate training events, schools, and churches in formal and casual settings mixing humor, clinical experience, his Christian faith, and a wealth of personal stories gleaned from years of helping others achieve their goals. Once a promising baseball prospect (his high school coach once called Tony the “best bad ball hitter he had ever seen!), Tony was run over by a 28-foot dual-prop ski boat shortly after his senior year of high school on a trip with friends to Lake Powell, Utah, both of his legs receiving significant damage from the prop of the boat. Tony still carries the scars from the prop some 30 years later. Tony was told that he would regain the ability to walk, but that he would never be able to run quickly, or for distance, as an adult. The accident halted Tony’s baseball career, but it set him on a path that eventually led him to creating The Path Back. Tony spent 10 years as a software executive traveling the world presenting at conferences and trade shows and eventually started several of his own companies in industries from computer hardware, health and beauty, and nuts and bolts (literally!). https://www.tonyoverbay.com Go to www.tonyoverbay.com/stages to download his stages of faith chart. The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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May 13, 2021 • 58min

Creating an intentional life - Kristin Andrus - Episode 92

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description What can someone who appears to have "arrived" teach us about living intentionally in the face of opposition? My guest on this episode is Kristin Andrus and she says that when we get focused on the destination as our source of happiness, we miss out on the gifts that journey offers us every single day. In this episode we discuss: Why the journey is actually the destination How doing the next right thing is more important than fixating only on the outcome How to influence the culture in your home for good What it means to be intentional in your areas of influence The importance of intentionally taking care of yourself physically (sleep, exercise, eating) The need to watch out for yourself and making sure your needs are met so you can care for others. How can all do something with what we have   More on Kristin's background: Kristin Andrus is the Chief Culture Officer in her home to six children. She is very involved in teaching classes, creating content, and working with Traeger Grills Culinary partners. She is often featured on Studio 5 cooking segments ranging from weekday dinners to entertaining, and always sharing her tips and tricks around the kitchen. Kristin loves creating workouts on her YouTube channel that get women moving and weight training in the comfort of their own homes. Kristin has shifted from a food blogger on Instagram to sharing more ideas on family, faith, and doing good in the community. Her goal is to provide value and inspiration to women and help them thrive rather than just survive. She is very involved with the Ronald McDonald house, Midvale family shelter, and the Utah Refugee connection. She is a board member of the Hope Squad  working on suicide prevention in Utah schools. Follow Kristin in Instagram @kristinandrus  The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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May 6, 2021 • 39min

Culture-based attachment shaming - Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S (part 2) - Episode 91

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description Do you ever feel guilty for wanting to stay with the person who betrayed you? Do you sometimes feel insecure and clingy in your relationships? This is a struggle for many adults who believe they shouldn't need other people when they're feeling insecure. In this episode, I'm joined by Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S for a discussion on why our attachment needs are not only normal, but essential for our emotional, mental, and physical well-being. In this episode, we discuss: A brief overview of the science of attachment What our culture does to shame and criticize our natural attachments to each other. How this shaming is harmful to our individual and collective wellbeing When dealing with betrayal, how cultural views of attachment make it tough for betrayed partners who choose to stay and work it out The balance between dependency and individuality How we can create balanced support for personal safety while honoring our attachment reflexes. More on Michelle's Background: Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery located in Northern VA, Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S has over 20 years’ experience in providing individual, couples and group therapy to those struggling with sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma and relationship issues. Michelle is the founder of PartnerHope, an online portal offering authentic hope and healing for betrayed partners through information, resources, tools, and connections with one another, subject experts and inspiring pathfinders. Michelle is the also the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Model and provides resources, training and support to therapists to help them deepen their skill set around facilitating disclosures. Michelle is the author of the books The Aftermath of Betrayal and When It All Breaks Bad: Ten Things to Do (and not do) After Betrayal and is the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Manual and Workshop Kit. Michelle is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor trained under Dr. Patrick Carnes. She is also trained in Post Induction Therapy by Pia Mellody for the treatment of relational trauma and is in the process of completing her certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC. Additional Resources from Michelle: Center for Relational Recovery - www.relationalrecovery.com PartnerHope - www.partnerhope.com PartnerHope blog for betrayed partners - https://partnerhope.com/blog/ Braving Hope: Becoming the Hero of Your Betrayal Story 12-week Online Coaching Program - https://partnerhope.com/braving-hope/ Hope After Betrayal Private Facebook Group for Betrayed Partners -  https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal/ The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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Apr 29, 2021 • 38min

Creating space for your emotions - Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S (part 1) - Episode 90

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description I welcome Michelle Mays, LPC, CSAT-S to the podcast where we discuss the importance of creating space for our emotions. In this episode, we discuss:  Why emotions matter to our individual and relationship wellbeing Differences between how men and women are socialized to deal with feelings How our family patterns impact the way we deal with emotions Why too much emotion is often viewed as dangerous What we can do with ourselves, our partners, and our families to create more space for feelings How we can gather more support from others for allowing feelings More on Michelle's Background: Founder and Clinical Director of the Center for Relational Recovery located in Northern VA, Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S has over 20 years’ experience in providing individual, couples and group therapy to those struggling with sexual addiction, betrayal trauma, childhood trauma and relationship issues. Michelle is the founder of PartnerHope, an online portal offering authentic hope and healing for betrayed partners through information, resources, tools, and connections with one another, subject experts and inspiring pathfinders. Michelle is the also the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Model and provides resources, training and support to therapists to help them deepen their skill set around facilitating disclosures. Michelle is the author of the books The Aftermath of Betrayal and When It All Breaks Bad: Ten Things to Do (and not do) After Betrayal and is the creator of the Relational Recovery Disclosure Prep Manual and Workshop Kit. Michelle is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor trained under Dr. Patrick Carnes. She is also trained in Post Induction Therapy by Pia Mellody for the treatment of relational trauma and is in the process of completing her certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC. Additional Resources from Michelle: Center for Relational Recovery - www.relationalrecovery.com PartnerHope - www.partnerhope.com PartnerHope blog for betrayed partners - https://partnerhope.com/blog/ Braving Hope: Becoming the Hero of Your Betrayal Story 12-week Online Coaching Program - https://partnerhope.com/braving-hope/ Hope After Betrayal Private Facebook Group for Betrayed Partners -  https://www.facebook.com/groups/hopeafterbetrayal/ The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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Apr 22, 2021 • 50min

Should we have empathy for the betrayer? - KayLee Dunn - Episode 89

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description In this episode I interview KayLee Dunn, a therapist who specializes in treating betrayal trauma and sexual compulsivity. We discuss the common dynamic of the betraying partner emotionally shutting down in the relationship, which can trigger fears from the betrayed partner that she's being abandoned, manipulated, or abused. For couples to heal, both partners ultimately need to regulate their own emotions as they learn how to share their needs with each other. It's challenging to make room for the betrayer's experience, but necessary for long-term relationship healing.  We discuss the following: Why it's hard to have empathy for the betrayer How the betrayed partner can have compassion without betraying herself The balance of expecting accountability while also inviting understanding of his experience The nature of shame in those who betray Fight/Flight/Freeze responses and shame Why it's hard to see the hurting/fearful/shameful guy "Quiet blame" and the damage it does What to do with a partner who is dysregulated How emotional dysregulation isn't always abuse or narcissism More on KayLee's Background: KayLee Dunn has been studying sexual and addiction/compulsivity and betrayal for 14 years and practicing as a therapist for 9 of those years. KayLee has extensive training in Attachment-Focused EMDR, Betrayal Trauma, Sexual Compulsivity, and Emotionally Focused Therapy. She has written articles, books, and podcasts on the topic. KayLee's biggest passion is to help her client heal from past traumas, see the present clearly, and ultimately build betrayal resilience. She currently co-facilitates a weekly free, private betrayal trauma group discussion for women across the world.  Additional Resources from KayLee: solaceemotionalhealth.org/awake kaylee@solaceemotional.com IG: @kayleecdunn https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdEYwhgdA8ODTWKKltdeLcg https://www.facebook.com/groups/1667836370046685 The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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Apr 15, 2021 • 43min

Trusting yourself after betrayal - Melissa Ruff - Episode 88

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description In this episode I interview Melissa Ruff from Live Free Wives on the subject of trusting yourself after betrayal. We discuss: Why rebuilding trust with yourself matters What happens when someone is betrayed and why they begin to disconnect from their own sense of reality and truth. How to reclaim your sanity, your identity, and have healthy relationships.   More on Melissa's Background: Melissa Ruff is the director for Live Free Wives, a long-time group leader for betrayed women, and is studying to become a Licensed Professional Counselor. She lives with her husband of 13 years and their three wonderful children. m.ruff@livefreewives.org Website: www.livefreewives.org Instagram: @livefreewives The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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Apr 8, 2021 • 48min

Reclaiming your sexuality - Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife - Episode 87

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description In this week's episode, I have a discussion with Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife about how to reclaim personal sexuality in recovery from sexual betrayal. This is a confusing topic for those who have sexually betrayed their partner and for those partners who have been sexually betrayed. These are the some of the questions I hear on a regular basis from couples who are working through sexual betrayal: What to we do about sex after betrayal? My own sexuality feels so altered, how do I get it back?  What if I don't want to have sex or be a sexual person? This is an episode for people in all stages of recovery - from early in the healing process or later when you're trying to navigate a new sexual relationship.  In this episodes we discuss: How sexual betrayal impacts individual sexuality for both the unfaithful and the betrayed. What individual and couple factors influence how deeply sexuality is impacted. The steps individual might consider as they begin reclaiming their sexuality. The roadblocks that get in the way of reclaiming personal sexuality in the wake of sexual betrayal. The growth we see as individuals work to reclaim their sexuality. More on Jennifer's Background: Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a LDS relationship and sexuality coach as well as a  Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois.  She has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. Her teaching and coaching focuses on helping LDS individuals and couples achieve greater satisfaction and passion in their emotional and sexual relationships. In addition to consultation with couples and individuals (in person and online), she teaches online relationship and sexuality courses designed to foster self and sexual development and create happier relationships and individuals.  Dr. Finlayson-Fife also offers many live workshops and retreats for couples and individuals. Jennifer is a frequent guest on LDS-themed podcasts and writes articles for LDS-themed blogs and magazines, on the subjects of sexuality, relationships, mental health and faith. You can learn more about Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife and her courses and workshops by visiting her website www.finlayson-fife.com The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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Apr 2, 2021 • 42min

How to become more honest - Dr. Mark Matheson (part 2) - Episode 86

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description In part 2 of my interview with Dr. Mark Matheson, we continue the discussion on how to be more honest. He shares specific skills we can practice and teach to our families and organizations to improve our honesty. See below for a summary of the skills.  More on Mark's Background: Dr. Matheson has an MBA from Harvard and a doctorate in organizational leadership from UoP. From 2010 to 2019 Brother Matheson taught at BYU-Hawaii and Southern Virginia Universities. Before his retirement,  he has been a partner and senior analyst with three investment banks. He was also an Adjunct Professor for four years and guest lectured at eight other universities. He taught at BYU Education Week for four years, seminary for five years and for the last seventeen years, when he is in Utah, he has served as a volunteer teacher serving the Utah State Prison. He loves to mentor young adults as they face multiple important life decisions. He posts thought-provoking ideas daily under the titles @ScriptureAnalyst and @ConferneceAnalyst, the same on both Instagram or Facebook. Show Notes Three Facilitators of Honesty all starting with “E”: Exemplify Honesty Will your kids highlight your honesty at your funeral? Accept the challenge to correct prior poor honesty modeling. 1)  Practice Self Reminders 2)  Guard Against Rationalizing 3)  Recognize Your Own White Lies 4)  Rehearse Honest Responses Enable Honesty Take down the barriers that keep honesty from thriving. 1)  Avoid Presumptive Honesty – It can happen to your kids 2)  Use One-on-One Interaction. Get them talking privately. 3)  Do Not Abandon Rules and Honesty Enforcement 4)  Disable Economic Motivators for Dishonesty Encourage Honesty Turn around dishonest practices. 1)  Share Information in Openness and Transparency 2)  Understand What to Disclose 3)  Reduce the Fear of Reporting or Confessing Dishonesty 4)  Implement an External Assessment & External Personal Honesty Accountability The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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Mar 25, 2021 • 46min

How to become more honest - Dr. Mark Matheson (part 1) - Episode 85

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description In this episode, I interview Dr. Mark Matheson on the topic of honesty and how we can become more honest in our dealings with other people. More on Mark's Background: Dr. Matheson has an MBA from Harvard and a doctorate in organizational leadership from UoP. From 2010 to 2019 Brother Matheson taught at BYU-Hawaii and Southern Virginia Universities. Before his retirement,  he has been a partner and senior analyst with three investment banks. He was also an Adjunct Professor for four years and guest lectured at eight other universities. He taught at BYU Education Week for four years, seminary for five years and for the last seventeen years, when he is in Utah, he has served as a volunteer teacher serving the Utah State Prison. He loves to mentor young adults as they face multiple important life decisions. He posts thought-provoking ideas daily under the titles @ScriptureAnalyst and @ConferneceAnalyst, the same on both Instagram or Facebook. Five preliminary basic steps in improving honesty: 1) Perceive Dishonesty as a Threat to the Well-Being of Your Family 2) Seek to Understand Why You and/or Your Family has Dishonesty Issues or Events Here are two practices you can do now to analyze your level of honesty: **Conduct an Honesty Inventory for a day or a week- keep a pad and pen with you and see if you can tally how many honesty situations you are in or how many times you lied. **Do a Personal Honesty Assessment   Reflect on your life and see where you have perhaps cut corners now or in the past. 3) Develop a Personal Commitment to Honesty Here are some self evaluation questions I use: Ask: Is honesty for you always a priority or only when someone calls you on it? Ask: Is honesty a proactive core characteristic of the way you conduct your life or is dishonesty the ‘default’ mode? Ask: Are we usually honest mainly when it is not inconvenient ?  Is our internal consistent with our external? 4) As We Develop a Vision of Honesty for Your Family and the World 5) Trust in Positive Outcomes of Honest Behavior --Believe that honesty is the best long term course of action. --Believe that honesty is rewarded in the Long-run; not always in the short-run. -- Honesty skills need to be tested over time and under stress. I Found Two Related Core Traits of Honesty: Sacrifice & Humility 1) Sacrifice to Uphold Honesty Admit mistakes even when it costs something significant. You have to be prepared to walk away from profitable but dishonest dealings. 2) Embrace Humility as a Guard Against Dishonesty Much dishonesty stems from attempts to limit ego damage. We can improve in this by some simple actions: Accepting feedback from others Acknowledging error The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.
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Mar 19, 2021 • 46min

Breaking the silence - Creed and Crishelle - Episode 84

If broken trust is an issue in your relationship, download the FREE video series “The First Steps to Rebuilding Trust” to help you get on the right track. https://www.geoffsteurer.com/freebie For details on our Connection Plus Membership Community, please visit https://www.connectionpluscommunity.com Sign up for my FREE weekly newsletter to stay up-to-date on exciting new announcements!  Download my FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse Connect with me on social media:INSTAGRAMFACEBOOK Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Geoff Steurer: I am a licensed marriage and family therapist, relationship educator, and coach with over 24 years of experience. I am the co-author of, "Love You, Hate the Porn: Healing a Relationship Damaged by Virtual Infidelity", the host of the weekly podcast, "From Crisis to Connection", and have produced workbooks, audio programs, and online courses helping couples and individuals heal from the impact of sexual betrayal, unwanted pornography use, partner betrayal trauma, and rebuilding broken trust. As a leader in the field, I am a frequent contributor on these subjects at national conferences, documentaries, blogs, magazines, and podcasts. I also write a weekly relationship advice column available on my blog. I founded and ran an outpatient sexual addiction and betrayal trauma recovery group program for over 14 years, co-founded and chaired a local conference to educate community members about harmful media, and founded and administered a specialized group therapy practice for over 12 years. I currently maintain a private counseling and coaching practice in beautiful Southern Utah where I live with my wife and children.  We are excited to introduce Connection Plus Our exclusive community for couples and individuals who want to maintain their recovery momentum and strengthen their relationships.  We've built a one-of-a-kind COMMUNITY with direct support from us   -  You'll learn how to stop destructive patterns, build skills for connection, and build a path to long-term healing.  -  Engage with a community of people committed to strengthening themselves and their relationships.  We are a community of couples and individuals committed to getting out of crisis and living in connection…for life.  Click here for more info. Podcast Description In this episode, I'm joined by Creed and Crishelle, both young adults and the hosts of the podcast, "Breaking the Silence", sponsored by Reach 10. We talk about their own stories of breaking the silence around shame, pornography, family struggles, and other sensitive issues, and how others can develop the courage and permission to speak up about their own questions, struggles, and concerns.   Reach 10 website https://reach10.org/ Breaking the Silence Podcast  https://reach10.org/breaking-the-silence-podcast/ Instagram @reach.10  https://www.instagram.com/reach.10/ Facebook  https://www.facebook.com/reachten/ The advice offered through Geoff Steurer's podcasts is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Geoff Steurer is a trained psychotherapist, he is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these podcasts, but rather using his training to inform the content. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients, and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.

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