Any loss of a parent can leave an emotional wound on a child that affects them all their lives. How many times have you fallen for someone, only to find that you weren’t valued, your existence was a secret to someone's "real" relationship, relegating you to the status of "side chick?" The consequences of this pattern don’t just draw you to the wrong person; the pattern leads to behaviors that drive away good people who would otherwise seek a relationship with you. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a young woman trying to find a way to either forget or transform a relationship with a man who treats her as a secret girlfriend. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

You may have suspected that abuse and neglect in your childhood still affects you now, or that you developed Complex PTSD as a result of what happened. Here are 12 signs of CPTSD that you can compare to the symptoms you experience. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

Hurrying is a huge trigger for CPTSD symptoms, amplifying dysregulation and all the other common side effects experienced by adults who grew up neglected or abused. Hurrying can increase anger and panic, and drain your ability to focus. And although you may think it is not possible to live without hurrying and overwhelm, you can teach yourself to notice when they're happening and slow, way down. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

"You've got to learn to feel your feelings" is not always helpful advice for people who grew up with neglect and abuse. Emotional dysregulation is a common, normal, adult symptom of of complex PTSD that can make emotions too big, too intense, and even destructive to your life. Here's how to notice when your emotions are dysregulated, and what you can do to re-regulate them. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

Love is powerful: Even people whose parents exploited them still feel love, still long to be loved. Surviving abuse depended once on tolerating and fitting yourself to people who could not fully love. As an adult, this tendency keeps you trapped in half-love relationships. In this episode, I respond to a letter from a woman whose partner holds her at arms length with a lingering connection to his ex. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf  

People who were traumatized in the past can be blind to dating red flags -- or you see them but ignore them! Here are 12 signs that someone is either unavailable, not into you, or just plain BAD for you.  Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf  

You've heard of red flags, but what are the signs that someone might be a great partner? In this episode, I list what I call "green lights" - the signs that someone has what it takes for a good relationship. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf  

People who grew up with trauma in childhood often have a strong tendency to ISOLATE. One major reason is that interactions with people are TRIGGERING. Here are some of the common reasons people trigger us, with tips on how to CALM triggers and build more CONNECTION and social freedom. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf

As a child, you developed the ability to use "magical thinking" to cope with abuse and neglect, but NOW, as an adult, it just might be blocking you from ever escaping troubled relationships, finding inner strength, and living a full life. In this episode, I answer a letter from a woman who endured deep neglect as a child and has used magical thinking to tolerate rejection and grief as she lives in the house of an ex for who she still has romantic feelings. Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf  

The problem with Childhood PTSD is that when we fall in love, the traumatized part of our brain kicks in and hijacks perception, driving us to to cling when it's time to step back, or even run. How can you change your trauma-driven dating patterns, and open the door to real love? Take my FREE Course or Quizzes:  https://bit.ly/40M2YeW Enroll in my Courses or Membership: https://bit.ly/3HP5qcf