A parent who’s always been her toddler’s playmate helps her child over the hump to flourish in independent play. Another parent learns to set boundaries, shift her perspective, and accept her child’s meltdowns. Janet shares a special milestone and much more in this latest episode of Unruffled. Thanks to Ritual for sponsoring this episode.Janet's new "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet responds to a parent who wonders how to react to her daughter's consistently stubborn behavior. "I feel like I have a set of tools to handle my 4-year-old daughter's outbursts of emotions, but I am at a loss for what to do when she stoically disobeys or ignores me altogether."Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more on respectful parenting solutions, please check out "Sessions", Janet's collection of recorded consultations with parents: www.SessionsAudio.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet responds to an email from a parent who says that lately, she has found herself yelling at her 3-year-old, who’s been having a difficult time since the birth of her brother. She realizes that yelling is not helping her daughter, and it’s not the parent she wants to be. “I’ve really lost control of this parenting thing and need a reset.”Janet new "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.NoBadKidsCourse.com and www.JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common infant/toddler parenting issues, please check out Janet's books at Amazon and Audible (adbl.co/2OBVztZ).Our Sponsors:* Check out BabyQuip and use my code UNRUFFLED for a great deal: http://www.babyquip.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Clinical psychologist Jean Cheng joins Janet to discuss the puzzling, painful, and self-defeating feelings that our children's behaviors can bring up in us as parents. No matter how well educated and prepared we are for this role, we might find ourselves overwhelmed and viscerally reacting by yelling, threatening, or "checking out." Often the answer lies in our own childhoods, in subtle wounds and traumas we may have had no awareness of before becoming parents. Dr. Cheng describes the myriad of ways our parents and caregivers – while often doing their very best – may have left wounds. She illuminates “this inner landscape of feelings” that our brains tend to minimize but which can manifest in a lack of self-confidence, an inability to maintain boundaries, and “reactions that are different from the kind of parents we want to be.” Janet and Jean discuss ways to recognize and acknowledge our childhood wounds and address them with empathy and compassion.Janet's new 'No Bad Kids Master Course' is available at nobadkidscourse.com and www.janetlansbury.com.You can contact Dr. Jean Cheng on these platforms: https://instagram.com/jeanpsychologist https://www.facebook.com/jeanpsychologist/ Website: https://www.talithakoumpsychology.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet helps a struggling parent understand her spirited toddler’s aggressive behavior and offers suggestions to respond more effectively.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

How do we help our children benefit from the privilege of extracurricular activities? At what age should we enroll our kids in lessons and sports? Janet has a child-centered approach that not everyone will agree with, but she believes is "too good not to share." She discusses how parents can discern their child's readiness and describes the benefits and challenges of making readiness our priority. She shares how her approach keeps the big picture in mind while also saving time and money and alleviating many of the concerns and frustrations that parents have expressed to her over the years.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at www.nobadkidscourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon: https://amzn.to/3ATFwkb Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It can be so hard to separate from our children sometimes! Particularly if they cry, seem anxious, or strongly object. How can we prepare our children (and ourselves) for a successful transition? Janet responds to emails from two different families struggling with goodbyes at school drop-off and offers recommendations for a helpful and respectful approach to handling all transitions and separations.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The practice of acknowledging our children's feelings and struggles can provide healing, calming messages of safety and acceptance. With a genuine tone and a few words, our acknowledgments can help children share pent-up emotions, feel seen and heard, and gradually regulate, which in turn eases problematic behaviors. However, parents commonly share with Janet that validating feelings doesn't work for their child and feels more like an exercise in frustration. Janet speaks to some of the common reasons this practice might feel less effective, what to do instead, and why we shouldn't give up on acknowledging as a powerfully empathic relationship-building tool.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The mother of two boys feels they are constantly testing her limits and always at her side demanding attention. They won’t allow her a moment to handle daily chores like laundry or cooking, never mind her personal needs. “They think it’s funny, “ she writes, “and I undoubtedly lose my patience. I feel like they just don’t listen to whatever limit I’ve set.”Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.For more advice on common parenting issues, please check out Janet's best-selling books on Audible. Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.Janet's exclusive audio series "Sessions" is available for download. This is a collection of recorded one-on-one consultations with parents discussing their most immediate and pressing concerns (www.SessionsAudio.com).See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Janet shares an exchange she had with a parent who wonders how anyone can possibly live up to the extreme idealism of "gentle parenting." She writes: “It sounds so lovely… but it’s also crushing to never be able to live up to despite having all the tools and knowledge.” While "gentle parenting" is not a term Janet uses, she understands that it's a catch-all for recent discussions and news articles about parenting philosophies. In response, Janet shares her own mental and emotional struggles as a new mother striving for perfectionism as she tried to put Magda Gerber’s teachings into practice. She describes moments of frustration, feelings of failure and being judged, and how through her own experiences of self-doubt and criticism, she learned to give herself permission to be an imperfect parent in a process.Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" is available at NoBadKidsCourse.com and JanetLansbury.com.Paperbacks and e-books are also available at Amazon, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, and Apple Books.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.