Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

In this episode of YKDS, therapists Cara and Rythea delve into a powerful therapeutic process with Rythea, exploring how her triggers impact her parenting choices. Using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy modality as a guide, they help Rythea to identify and understand the different parts of herself that influence her feelings and behaviors and how they come into her parenting, particularly in relation to a painful experience she's currently facing. Rythea explores triggers around being an activist, keeping her and her daughter safe, and how that relates to her childhood.Rythea and Cara introduce working with inner parts, illustrating the deep feelings and beliefs that exist inside of our inner child parts. Through Rythea's process, they demonstrate how to identify different parts within oneself, discovering the reasons these parts emerge and how they influence our reactivity with our kids. This episode provides practical insights for parents, showing how IFS can be a valuable tool for understanding triggers, with examples of parts work in action to improve parenting and self-healing.This episode is particularly valuable for parents seeking to better understand their feelings and actions and to identify what they truly need to do for their internal and external family systems. An episode that directly addresses how our inner work impacts our children, it offers unique insights into improving family dynamics. It's a hopeful resource for parents looking to navigate their emotions and actions towards a more harmonious family life!Check out the book Cara and Rythea refer to on Internal Family Systems (IFS) - No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma and Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems Model by Dick Schwartz, Founder of IFS: https://ifs-institute.com/nobadparts--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

In this inspiring and heartfelt episode, hosts Rythea and Cara sit down with Vivek Patel, dear friend and renowned parenting coach, known for his non-coercive, collaborative parenting approach, and his 27-year-old daughter Veets! The conversation dives into the unique dynamics of their father-daughter relationship, exploring how Veets' upbringing has shaped her view of parents and children, friendships, work-life, her family, and her relationship with herself.Vivek shares more on the underlying philosophy of non-coercive, collaborative parenting and the principles he teaches to thousands of parents worldwide. He explains how this approach focuses on mutual respect and understanding, rather than control and compliance. As Veets reflects on her upbringing, she illustrates the profound impact this philosophy had on her whole family as they struggled with the limitations of the world around them. Throughout our conversation, the closeness and honesty between Vivek and Veets is evident, offering listeners a genuine glimpse into their relationship. Their anecdotes showcase the mutuality and deep attunement that is possible when parents focus on equality, attachment, and self-responsibility.Rythea and Cara chime in often, adding their challenges and questions, as newer non-coercive & collaborative parents. Find Vivek on his website http://www.meaningfulideas.com and @meaningfulideas on all socials:http://www.facebook.com/meaningfulideashttps://www.youtube.com/meaningfulideashttp://www.instagram.com/meaningfulideashttps://www.tiktok.com/@meaningfulideashttps://x.com/meaningfulideas--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

What are the wins in doing the deep work of dismantling coercion and control in our parenting? Why do it? Why work so hard to break generational patterns? What does it give you, your family, your child?In this episode, Cara and Rythea focus on the profound closeness, joy, and harmony that comes from diving into this parenting philosophy. They give examples with their children and partners of breaking through stuck places to mutual respect and flow. Cara has a toddler and Rythea’s daughter is twelve, and both of them are devoted to non-coercion and collaboration with in their family systems. Join us for reports on the undeniable wins with their children.This episode is especially valuable for parents struggling to let go of controlling behaviors, offering a glimpse into how trusting the process can lead to more enriching family relationships. We highlight the importance of appreciating children for who they are, rather than focusing solely on external behaviors and achievements, providing listeners with an optimistic and compassionate parenting mindset.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Alesandra Rodriguez, Mom of 4 kids in a blended family, joins Rythea and Cara to discuss risky teen behaviors and tells the powerful story of a radical turnaround with her fourteen year old daughter.Alesandra shares her journey of coming to the non-coercion mindset through Rythea’s support group and plunging her and her family into this counter-culture philosophy that has opened up and changed the whole family system. She explains her history of growing up under a fundamentalist Christian household, seeing spanking as the norm, and being lost in authoritarian patterns which led her to shift to a parenting reality she had never known or seen.This heartening and uplifting story serves as a beacon of hope for parents seeking a more respectful and compassionate approach to raising their children in challenging environments. This is a must listen if you have a teens or tweens!--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

A few years ago, Rythea had no idea what TikTok was... But she jumped on the app with the encouragement of a friend and her spontaneous video about parenting went viral. Find out what happened next in this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, where Cara and Rythea use three TikToks to talk about how humor woke up large numbers of eager parents who were waiting for an alternative to mainstream parenting practices. Topics covered include the problem with “non-negotiables”, creating a culture of honesty in a family system, and why resisting coercion might save your relationship with your child. --If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

In this episode, Cara and Rythea delve deep into an inspiring story of deconstructing a fundamentalist Christian upbringing to embracing non-coercive parenting, with their guest, Siegwen, a single parent of four.Siegwen shares their powerful story of transformation, recounting the challenges of breaking free from a fundamentalist Christian environment and the pivotal moments that led them to embrace non-coercive parenting. They explore the key moments where they felt the pull towards corporal punishment and the overpowering impulse to stop the cycle. What are the repercussions of walking away from a childhood and a community that oppresses children? What are the rewards of refusing to do to your children what was done to you?Throughout the episode, Siegwen reflects on the joy and closeness they have found with their children since embracing non-coercive parenting, showcasing the transformative power of love, empathy, and understanding that non-coercive, collaborative parenting brings. Siegwen models the freedom that comes from breaking religious and familial cycles of trauma and abuse.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Content Advisory: This episode contains discussion of childhood sexual trauma in a therapeutic contextIn this episode, therapist Rythea Lee introduces the episode's focus on navigating bedtime struggles with her 12-year-old daughter. Rythea explores how her childhood trauma currently impacts her relationship to bedtime triggers, and discusses how it challenges her ability to problem-solve or think clearly about the issue. She takes herself through a process called Inner Bonding®, an emotional, psychological modality that helps resolve wounded patterns from the pastThis episode is aimed to give parents an example of what a therapeutic process looks like and how it leads to personal accountability, and then closeness with our children. Rythea shares the deep, painful roots of reactivity that surfaces at night when it is bedtime. This is a template for processing any issue that can arise with our kids.Rythea goes through the six steps of the Inner Bonding® process to show you how it works:Main Content:1. Understanding Inner Bonding®:- Step 1: Tuning into feelings and how it connects to the body- Step 2: Moving into an intent to learn about feeling- Step 3: Dialogue with the inner child and finding out the false beliefs- Step 4: Connecting with higher self and getting the truth about the false beliefs in the present time- Step 5: Taking loving action- Step 6: Evaluating the effectiveness of actions, returning to the process if needed2. Application in Real-Time:- Rythea shares her experience of applying Inner Bonding® during bedtime struggles- Cara asks insightful questions and offers reflections to deepen Rythea's understanding of her process3. Update on Progress:- Rythea provides an update on how Inner Bonding® has impacted her bedtime interactions with her daughter- Despite challenges, she notes a significant shift in their dynamic towards more understanding and connectionAdditional Resources:- Link to Inner Bonding steps: [Inner Bonding - The Six Steps] (https://rythea.com/inner-bonding-the-six-steps)--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Welcome back to Your Kids Don't Suck! Today, we're thrilled to have Kelsie Olds, also known as The Occuplaytional Therapist on social media. Kelsie is a parent and occupational therapist specializing in child-led and neurodiversity-affirming occupational therapy.We discuss:Kelsie's Training and Approach:Rythea and Cara delve into Kelsie's background as an occupational therapist, exploring what this means and how it shapes her approach to working with children.The Child-Centered Approach:Kelsie discusses her approach to working with kids, emphasizing child-led methods and its alignment with her non-authoritarian parenting style. She contrasts this with mainstream practices, highlighting the differences and benefits.Navigating Neurodiversity:The conversation shifts towards neurodiversity and how Kelsie transitions from a behaviorist lens to a more connected and conscious approach both as a parent and professional.Support in Schools:Kelsie shares insights into her work (and play) within school settings, detailing how she supports children, teachers, and staff in the strong direction of non-coercive practices. The hosts inquire about steps parents can take if they feel their child isn't receiving adequate support in schools.Advice for Educators:We seek advice from Kelsie on how educators can become more conscious and connected in their approach to teaching and supporting children.Find Kelsie on socials:https://www.occuplaytional.com/@occuplaytional on Instagram https://www.facebook.com/occuplaytional--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

In this episode, hosts Rythea Lee and Cara Tedstone delve into listener questions about navigating conflicts between children and/or siblings, and co-parenting with differing parenting styles. Drawing from their expertise in non-coercive, collaborative parenting, Rythea and Cara provide insightful guidance on fostering connection with your child(ren) within difficult family dynamics.Rythea emphasizes the crucial role of active and involved parenting in resolving conflicts between children and siblings. She advocates for removing blame, maintaining transparency when unsure how to help, and developing regular collaboration with children to address problems.Cara shares practical family therapy advice on effective communication with children during conflicts. The hosts advise parents on what to say and what not to say, emphasizing the significance of validating children's experiences and emotions. By implementing these strategies, parents can find the through-line of empathy and closeness with their child.Rythea and Cara explore the complexities of co-parenting when faced with differing parenting styles. They offer recommendations for navigating these differences while prioritizing the child's well-being. The discussion delves into techniques for maintaining consistency and respect across households, ensuring that the child's experience remains at the forefront of decision-making.--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Welcome to another episode of "Your Kids Don't Suck"! In this episode, hosts Rythea Lee and Cara Tedstone engage in a thought-provoking conversation with Yolanda Williams, a radical justice educator, mother, and conscious parenting coach.Rythea and Cara delve into a crucial discussion with Yolanda on the pervasive influence of capitalism on our lives and, more specifically, on self-care. Together, they explore how societal structures impact our ability to prioritize our well-being and the subsequent implications on our parenting. This conversation includes differences in class, equity, and resource options in families.Yolanda sheds light on how traditional parenting practices are entwined with colonial ideologies and the importance of dismantling these structures not only for the empowerment of our children, but in service to fostering love and closeness with our kids. We also touch on topics around building community, raising a neurodiverse child, owning our limitations in the dynamic with our children, and when it is time to seek help. Rythea, Cara and Yolanda illuminate the path towards conscious and empowered parenting, challenging societal norms for the well-being of our children.Find Yolanda on her website: https://parentingdecolonized.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/prntgdcolonized/Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/parenting-decolonized/id1538348623--If you want to be on our newsletter and get an announcement each time a new episode is released, please send us your email information to Rythea@crocker.comGet in touch with Rythea and Cara, buy our books and watch our content at https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckFind all our episodes at https://rss.com/podcasts/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck