No More Desire ™ Porn Addiction Recovery

Jake Kastleman
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8 snips
Nov 12, 2025 • 48min

119: Doing vs. Being: The Missing Key to Porn Recovery

Are you caught in a whirlwind of constant doing? Discover how mental chaos fuels porn addiction and the connection to an overstimulated brain. Learn about the imbalance between doing and being, and why this affects your relationships and spiritual health. Explore a transformative 30-Day Challenge to disconnect and find presence, along with practical tools for mindfulness. Uncover the importance of balancing masculine and feminine energies to heal your mind and deepen your connections.
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Nov 5, 2025 • 43min

118: Breaking the Dopamine Cycle: Tech Addiction, Porn, and the War for Your Attention

What if the real reason you can’t stop watching porn… isn’t porn itself?In this episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I dive deep into the hidden connection between tech addiction, dopamine, and porn addiction recovery — and why constant distraction may be the true enemy of your freedom.We live in a world built to hijack your attention. From smartphones and social media to the endless scroll of entertainment, every digital interaction trains your brain for instant gratification. Over time, this dopamine overload rewires your reward system, weakens your self-control, and makes you more vulnerable to pornography addiction.But here’s the truth: your brain isn’t broken. It’s just conditioned. And what’s been conditioned can be reconditioned.In this powerful, science-backed, spiritually grounded conversation, I’ll walk you through:The neuroscience of dopamine and addiction — how tech overstimulation leads to desensitization and “hypofrontality,” weakening your prefrontal cortex (the part of your brain responsible for focus and discipline).The psychology of distraction — how “attentional fragmentation” leaves men restless, unfocused, and disconnected from their purpose.The real link between porn addiction and technology addiction — and how both exploit the same reward circuitry in the brain.Ancient wisdom and modern mindfulness — what Jesus, the Buddha, and modern neuroscience all agree on: the power of stillness, presence, and self-awareness to rewire the addicted brain.Practical methods for recovery — including my 30-Day Presence Challenge to help you regain control of your attention, rebuild your dopamine balance, and reconnect with real life and real people.This episode is a call to arms for men who are tired of distractions running their lives. It’s about replacing compulsive stimulation with conscious connection — with your body, your relationships, and your higher purpose.Link to Blog Article for this EpisodeIf you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your lifeSupport the showNo More Desire
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Oct 29, 2025 • 1h 13min

117: Mindfulness Over Willpower: Ending Porn Addiction Through Self-Awareness and Compassion — A Buddhist Approach to Healing Addiction and Shame

When I first began my recovery journey, I believed the answer to ending porn addiction was more control — more willpower, more discipline, more “try harder.”But the truth is, that mindset only deepened my shame and made me fight harder against myself.In this episode, I sit down with Jeremy Lipkowitz — a former Buddhist monk, mindfulness teacher, and founder of The Unhooked Academy — to explore a radically different path to freedom from porn addiction.We dive deep into the power of mindfulness and self-compassion as tools to overcome shame, heal the mind, and rewire the brain for peace and presence. This conversation bridges neuroscience, psychology, and Buddhist philosophy, showing you how mindfulness can create real, lasting change from the inside out.🧠 In This Episode, We Explore:Why willpower doesn’t work for lasting porn addiction recovery — and how mindfulness creates the awareness needed for true freedom.The neuroscience of craving and contentment — how porn trains the brain for dissatisfaction, and how mindfulness and meditation reverse that wiring.Healthy shame vs. toxic shame — learning to transform guilt into growth rather than isolation and relapse.The “Hungry Ghost” mindset — a Buddhist metaphor for the endless craving cycle that drives addiction.How to use mindfulness and self-awareness to meet emotions like loneliness, fear, and anger with compassion instead of escape.The importance of connection, accountability, and brotherhood in men’s recovery from porn addiction.How to rewire your brain through daily mindfulness practice, self-reflection, and authentic connection.If you’ve been fighting yourself in recovery — this conversation will help you finally make peace with your mind.You don’t overcome porn addiction by fighting against yourself — you overcome it by understanding yourself.That’s the heart of mindfulness. And when you combine mindfulness, compassion, and masculine leadership — you stop chasing freedom and start living it.Link to Blog Article for this EpisodeIf you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your lifeContact Jeremy @ The Unhooked AcademyOr shoot him a follow @jeremylipkowitz Want to learn more about Jeremy and his message? Click HereSupport the showNo More Desire
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Oct 22, 2025 • 1h 13min

116: How to Support a Partner Struggling with Addiction (Without Losing Yourself to Betrayal Trauma)

When you love someone who’s caught in addiction—whether it’s porn, alcohol, or anything else that numbs pain—the chaos doesn’t just stay with them. It spills into your relationship, your emotions, and even your identity.In this episode of The No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with Holly Thornton, author of The Hardest Help, who’s lived through the agony of betrayal trauma, manipulation, and loss—and emerged with compassion, clarity, and tools that actually work.Together, we explore what most recovery conversations miss: how addiction and betrayal trauma intertwine, and how both partners can begin to heal through boundaries, empathy, and truth.If you’re a man working to overcome porn addiction, this episode will give you a powerful glimpse into what your spouse experiences on the other side of your addiction—and how understanding her pain can transform your recovery.And if you’re the partner of someone battling addiction, you’ll learn how to support your loved one without losing yourself, why “rock bottom” is a dangerous myth, and what practical, compassion-based methods like the CRAFT approach can do to restore hope.In This Episode, We Explore:How betrayal trauma affects the brain—and why partners of addicts often feel anxious, confused, or “crazy.”The myth of rock bottom and why waiting for collapse keeps you trapped in addiction.Emotional regulation tools rooted in neuroscience to calm the nervous system and build resilience.The psychology of boundaries—how to protect yourself and rebuild trust without punishing or controlling your partner.Why curiosity heals more than confrontation, and how to communicate in a way that promotes safety, not shame.How small daily actions rewire the addicted brain through neuroplasticity and consistency.Spiritual and psychological integration—how empathy, compassion, and ownership reconnect you to your True Self.This conversation isn’t about blame—it’s about healing through understanding.It’s about becoming a man who doesn’t just say “I’m sorry,” but lives as someone who’s safe to love.Because real recovery isn’t just about quitting porn—it’s about becoming whole, grounded, and emotionally present enough to lead yourself and your relationship with integrity.Link to Blog Article for this EpisodeIf you’re ready to build the mindset and lifestyle that lead to long-term freedom from porn addiction, visit NoMoreDesire.com and apply for my 1-on-1 Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program. You’ll gain the structured tools, accountability, and training you need to transform not only your habits—but your heart.Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your lifeFollow Holly at thehardesthelp.comor on Instagram @holly_jthortonSupport the showNo More Desire
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Oct 13, 2025 • 35min

115: Emotional Intelligence and Porn Addiction Recovery — How to Master Your Emotions, Heal Conflict, and Deepen Intimacy in Marriage

Recovering from porn isn’t just a mental game—it’s an emotional one.In this episode, I’m breaking down the powerful connection between emotional intelligence and porn addiction recovery, and showing you how learning to master your emotions can transform your marriage, your communication, and your ability to stay sober for good.Most men try to “think” their way out of porn addiction, but relapse doesn’t happen in the mind—it happens in the heart. When fear, shame, or sadness go unprocessed, they convert into anger, craving, and disconnection. Emotional pain becomes a trigger, and before you know it, you’re back in the cycle of porn use, guilt, and regret.But it doesn’t have to stay that way.In this episode, I teach you how to apply my RAIL Method™—a five-step process that cultivates emotional awareness, self-leadership, and confidence under pressure. You’ll learn how to understand your emotions, stay grounded during marriage conflict, and see the good intentions beneath both your own reactions and your wife’s.By the end of this episode, you’ll know how to:Use emotional intelligence to defuse conflict in your marriage.Understand how porn cravings stem from unmet emotional needs.Build emotional safety and connection with your wife through self-awareness.Turn painful emotions like anger and shame into powerful tools for recovery.Lead your relationship with calm confidence, clarity, and compassion.Link to Blog Article for this Episode HEREIf you’re ready to stop letting your emotions control you—and start using them to strengthen your marriage and deepen your recovery—this one’s for you, brother.And if you’re serious about taking this work deeper, check out The RAIL Method™ Online Course, where I teach you how to regulate emotions, reduce porn cravings, and rebuild real intimacy step by step.You can also catch me teaching this method live during the Porn Resilient Online Summit (Oct 13–16)—alongside 20 other experts in emotional and sexual healing, and grab the All-Access Implementation Bundle for lifetime access to all recorded interviews + courses and resources (including my RAIL Method™ online course) for an absolutely unreal price. Porn addiction recovery isn’t about fighting harder—it’s about feeling deeper, healing smarter, and leading yourself and your relationship from the inside out.Support the showNo More Desire
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Oct 8, 2025 • 1h 32min

114: Raising Kids with Fearless Sexuality | Teaching Sexual Wholeness Without Shame in a Porn-Filled World (with Taylor Chambers)

As a parent, one of the hardest questions you’ll ever face is this: How do I teach my kids about sex in a porn-filled world—without using fear, shame, or silence?In this episode, I sit down with Taylor Chambers, a licensed marriage and family therapist and the founder of The Good and The Free, to talk about what it really means to raise porn-resilient kids and model fearless sexuality—not just for them, but for ourselves as men.We explore what it looks like to move beyond fear-based parenting and into sexual wholeness, integrity, and self-leadership. Taylor shares his deeply human story of moving from religious shame and willpower-based recovery into an approach grounded in acceptance, integration, and emotional honesty—the same work that helped him build his Porn Resilient Summit and framework for helping families heal from shame and secrecy around sexuality.In this episode, we dive deep into:How fear and shame around sexuality create disconnection and secrecyWhy porn addiction recovery starts with your own sexual integrationThe psychology of how kids internalize sexual shame—and what to do insteadThe neuroscience of fear, desire, and emotional regulationHow to talk with your kids about sex and pornography in ways that build trust, confidence, and self-respectThe true meaning of integrity and why it’s impossible to be “whole” while rejecting parts of yourselfHow to raise kids who are resilient, not just “protected,” in a digital worldWhy fearless sexuality doesn’t mean indulgence—it means freedom from control, repression, and fearYou’ll learn how to reframe sexuality as a relationship rather than a problem to eliminate, and why healing your own sexual shame directly impacts your children’s freedom and confidence.We talk about the inner work every man must do to align his psychology, spirituality, and masculinity—so you can live with the kind of integrity your kids can actually feel.If you’ve ever felt torn between wanting to protect your kids and wanting to raise them to be strong, wise, and connected—you need this conversation.Featuring: Taylor Chambers, LMFT — The Good and The FreeTaylor is a leading voice in porn addiction recovery, healthy sexuality, and shame-free living. He’s a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, creator of the Porn Resilient Model, and founder of The Good and The Free, where he teaches men, parents, and couples how to build sexual wholeness rooted in honesty, integrity, and freedom.Follow Taylor at wearethegoodandthefree.com or on Instagram @thegoodandthefreeDon’t miss the Porn Resilient Online Summit (Oct 13–16, 2025), where I’ll share The RAIL Method™—a step-by-step system to turn cravings into fuel for recovery. You can watch my interview and 20 other experts free, or grab the All-Access Implementation Bundle for lifetime access to all recorded interviews + courses and resources (including my RAIL Method™ online course)—just $87 if purchased by October 12th.Support the showNo More Desire
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Oct 1, 2025 • 44min

113: Men’s Guide to Stopping Porn Urges: Mindfulness, Parts Work, and RAIL

If you’ve ever felt powerless in the face of porn cravings, you’re not alone. For years, I thought my urges were proof that I was broken—that I didn’t have the self-control or strength to stay sober. The truth is, cravings are not your enemy. They’re signals from your brain and body that point to deeper emotions like fear, shame, grief, or loneliness. And when you learn how to respond to them with the right tools, those urges actually become fuel for your porn addiction recovery.In this episode of the Castimonia Podcast, I sat down with Chris Archinal to unpack one of the most powerful frameworks I’ve ever developed: The RAIL Method ™. This 4-step process gives men a practical playbook to stop porn urges, build emotional mindfulness, and strengthen sobriety—not by white-knuckling against cravings, but by transforming them into a path toward freedom.We cover:Why most recovery programs fail when it comes to handling porn cravingsThe RAIL Method (Recognize, Appreciate, Identify, Lead) and how to use it in the heat of the momentHow parts work (IFS) helps you relate to your “addict part” with compassion instead of suppressionThe role of the inner critic and how to turn its harsh voice into motivation for growthPractical daily practices for mindfulness, embodiment, and emotional regulationWhy true masculine strength comes from leadership, presence, and self-compassion—not shame or perfectionismHow to align neuroscience, psychology, and spirituality in your porn recovery journeyWhether you’re struggling with daily urges, trying to rebuild trust in your marriage, or simply looking for a practical way to process emotions without turning to porn, this episode will give you hard-hitting tools you can apply immediately.Check out Chris Archinal and the Castimonia Podcast here.Don’t miss the Porn Resilient Online Summit (Oct 13–16, 2025), where I’ll share The RAIL Method™—a step-by-step system to turn cravings into fuel for recovery. You can watch my interview and 20 other experts free, or grab the All-Access Implementation Bundle for lifetime access to all recorded interviews + courses and resources (including my RAIL Method ™ online course)—just $87 if purchased by October 12th.Support the showNo More Desire
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Sep 24, 2025 • 37min

112: Heal Your Body, Heal Your Desire: How Foods Shape Your Recovery

When I first started my journey to overcome porn addiction, I thought it was all about willpower, accountability, and prayer. But what I didn’t realize was that what I was putting into my body was fueling my cravings, my anxiety, and even my relapses.In this episode, I open up about the surprising connection between nutrition and porn addiction recovery—how the foods you eat shape your mood, your energy, your mental clarity, and even your desire. If you’ve ever wondered why cravings hit harder some days than others, or why relapse feels almost impossible to resist after certain meals, this conversation will change the way you look at recovery.We’ll explore the gut–brain connection, the role of the microbiome in producing dopamine and serotonin, and why blood sugar spikes can send you straight into the arms of porn cravings. I share my personal story of how cutting out processed sugar, dairy, and grains dramatically reduced my urges and stabilized my mental health. And I’ll walk you through practical ways to start building a diet that supports—not sabotages—your recovery.In this episode, you’ll discover:Why the body and mind are inseparable in true recovery.How the gut microbiome and vagus nerve directly influence cravings, anxiety, and focus.The hidden impact of sugar, dairy, and grains on your dopamine system.How stabilizing your blood sugar can lower anxiety and porn cravings.Why inflammation makes relapse more likely—and how to fight it.The simple, step-by-step changes that helped me stay sober from porn for over 10 years.Brother, this isn’t about restriction or perfection. It’s about giving yourself the strength, clarity, and stability you need to win the battle every day. When you heal your body, you give yourself the best chance to heal your desire—and to build a life of freedom, focus, and purpose.If this episode resonates, hit follow, tap the notification bell, and leave a rating so more men searching for freedom from porn can find this podcast.Free Resources:Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life.Recommended Episodes: The #1 Daily Habit That’s Helping My Clients Quit PornYou Are Not Your Urge: How Urge Surfing Helps Men Overcome Porn Addiction Without WillpowerThe Science Behind Porn Addiction—and How to Stop | The Truth About Addiction Genetics, and Why You’re Not “Doomed” to Be an Addict ForeverSupport the showNo More Desire
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Sep 17, 2025 • 38min

111: Why High-Achieving Men Get Addicted to Porn | How Emotional Intensity Drives Cravings—and How to Harness Your Perfectionistic Mind for Lasting Recovery

Why is it that so many high-achieving men—men who value discipline, morality, and service—secretly struggle with porn addiction? On the surface, it doesn’t make sense. How can a man who leads, provides, and sacrifices also be the same man sneaking away to watch porn in the dark?In this episode, I uncover the paradox of the high-achiever and porn addiction. I’ll show you why high-achieving men are especially vulnerable to pornography, how emotional intensity fuels cravings, and why perfectionism can become both your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.You’ll learn:The neuroscience behind why emotional intensity and dopamine cravings drive porn use.How the perfectionism trap creates all-or-nothing thinking, shame, and the painful double life.Why your high standards and drive for excellence aren’t the problem—and how to reframe perfectionism with compassion.Practical strategies to channel your intensity into recovery: structure, healthy outlets, and self-compassion.The benefits of integration—how to find real freedom, deeper relationships, greater productivity, and inner peace without porn.This isn’t about fighting yourself or lowering your standards. It’s about learning how to respect your intense, perfectionistic mind and lead it wisely. When you do, your emotional intensity stops fueling cravings and starts fueling lasting recovery.If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I, as a high-achieving man, struggle with porn?”—this episode is for you.👉 Listen now and discover how to transform your greatest struggles into your greatest strengths.LINK TO BLOG FOR THIS EPISODEFree Resources:Grab my Free eBook and Free Workshop for more strategies to overcome porn addiction, rewire your brain, and rebuild your life.Recommended Episodes: How Obsession with Perfection Nearly Ruined My RecoveryMake Friends with the Addict Part of Your BrainThe Inner War that Keeps You Addicted to PornHow Being Self-Critical Fuels Porn AddictionSupport the showNo More Desire
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Sep 3, 2025 • 1h 22min

110: What Your Sexual Fantasies Are Really Trying to Tell You | The Surprising Way to Heal Porn Addiction (with Drew Boa)

What if your sexual fantasies weren’t the enemy, but the key to your healing?In this powerful episode of the No More Desire Podcast, I sit down with my friend and fellow recovery leader Drew Boa, author of Outgrow Porn, to uncover what your sexual fantasies are really trying to tell you—and how to use them as a surprising pathway to heal porn addiction.Most men believe that the way to stop porn is more willpower, more discipline, more accountability. But neuroscience and psychology show something radically different: porn addiction is never about porn. It’s about unresolved fear, shame, and grief—what Drew calls the “three great sexualizers.” When these emotions go unprocessed, they surface sexually in the form of specific fantasies, fetishes, and cravings.Instead of battling your sexuality, it’s time to befriend it. In this episode, Drew and I dive deep into:The difference between arousal vs desire—and why separating them is key to porn addiction recovery.How to process your sexual fantasies without shame and discover the good desires underneath.Why parts work (Internal Family Systems) is one of the most powerful tools for porn recovery.The role of embodiment, vulnerability, and spiritual connection in lasting freedom.Why self-compassion, not self-hatred, is the real key to outgrowing porn.I share some of my own raw, personal experiences in this episode, including the way my childhood wounds shaped my arousal template—and how facing them with courage transformed my recovery.If you’ve ever wondered why your sexual fantasies seem so powerful, or how to move beyond the purge-binge cycle into true healing, this conversation will open your eyes and give you practical tools for your recovery journey.Listen in and learn how to:Decode what your fantasies are really revealing about your story.Heal the underlying wounds of fear, shame, and grief.Experience freedom not by fighting yourself, but by listening with compassion.This isn’t just about quitting porn. This is about becoming the man you were created to be—whole, connected, and free.Head to outgrowporn.com to get Drew Boa's new book Outgrow Porn for 25% off using coupon code NOMOREDESIRE. Free bonus eBook included!Resources & Links:Get Drew’s book: Outgrow PornExplore Drew’s work: HusbandMaterial.comJoin me at No More Desire for more resources on porn addiction recovery.Support the showNo More Desire

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