Interior Integration for Catholics

Episode 36: Why We Flee from Real Love        October 5, 2020. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where by God’s grace, you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you, to be your host and guide.  This podcast is part of Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being love and to loving.   Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 36, released on October 5, 2020 and it is titled: Why We Flee from Real Love.   1.      Getting right into it today, not reviewing, no listener questions, so buckle up.  This is a critically important topic2.      Three main reasons.  Pain, fear and anger -- all rooted in misunderstanding and distortions.  a.       We want to avoid all these things.  Natural instincts.                                                            i.            Freud's pleasure principle:  is the instinctive seeking of pleasure and avoiding of pain to satisfy biological and psychological needs.3.      Tolerating being loved -- deliberate use of languagea.       No, I just want to be loved -- what they are saying is I just want to be emotionally gratified.  What we want                                                          i.            Hallmark Card Commercials                                                         ii.            Hallmark Movies                                                     iii.            Romance novels.  Easy love that just come naturally.    Emotional Junk food that nourishes illusions.  b.      Easy to be loved when you are a baby-- natural openness and receptivityc.       Negative experiencesd.      Fallen natures in a fallen world                                                          i.            Slings and arrows -- attachment injuries, relational wounds                                                       ii.            More significant trauma                                                     iii.            Sense of vulnerability, it's not safe.  1.      Fear2.      Avoidance3.      Adam and Eve in Genesis 3                                                      iv.            We are familiar with the disorder, the dysfunction -- our ways of coping. e.       People who want to focus on loving, not being loved.                                                            i.            More "noble"                                                       ii.            Focus is on the other                                                     iii.            But so limited.  Doing good things for the other, not "being with."   6.      Real love burns -- it hurts -- a.     Gratification and Frustration.  b.     Perfection of God's love has an impact -- burning, purifying effect -- refining of silver and gold                                                                            i.            1 Peter 1:7 so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.                                                                         ii.            Isaiah 48:10 Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.                                                                         iii.            Zechariah 13:9 And I will put this third into the fire, and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘They are my people’; and they will say, ‘The Lord is my God.’”                                                                         iv.            Proverbs 17:3  The crucible is for silver, and the furnace is for gold, and the Lord tests hearts.                                       &...

Episode 35 Being Both Big and Small        September 28, 2020. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where by God’s grace, you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski and I am here with you to be your host and guide.  This podcast is part of our Souls and Hearts, our online outreach at soulsandhearts.com, which is all about shoring up our natural foundation for the spiritual life, all about overcoming psychological obstacles to being love and to loving.   Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 35, released on September 28, 2020 and it is titled: Being Both Big and Small.   Ok, so it’s time for questions from our listeners from the last couple of sessions.  But only I got only one question from the last session in the Resilient Catholics Carpe Diem! community, and she essentially answered it so well herself in our RCCD discussion boards that I don’t have a lot to add.  So I am going to make up a question – from an imaginary listener who wants to remain anonymous, so I am going to call him Johnny Hind:    The good thing for a host about making up questions is that you can have them be exactly what you want them to be, and that’s what’s happening now.   From Johnny Hind:  Dr. Peter, what about responsibility?  What about being grown up?  I’m confused about how, the challenges of this world, I’m supposed to be mature, wise, virtuous and so on.  That doesn’t sound like being a baby or a toddler.  I can’t just curl up in a corner suck my thumb and wait  for God and Mary to rock me to sleep all the time.  I have responsibilities!  How do I be both small, childlike, trusting and but also grow to the fullness of manhood or womanhood?   Those are our questions for today.    So for the last five episodes, numbers 30 to 34 we have been discussing being small, being like little children, going beyond just accepting our absolute dependency on God – but embracing it.   following the words of our Lord Jesus Christ:   Matthew 18 1-4  At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them, and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 19 13-15  Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people;  but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away.Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. John 15:4-5   Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 1 Peter 2: 2-3 2 Like newborn infants, long for the pure, spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow into salvation— Now we are going to look at the other side of the coin.  Maturity, Responsibility St. Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. Ephesians 4:15  Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ Sirach 15 Do not say: “It was God’s doing that I fell away,” for what he hates he does not do.  Do not say: “He himself has led me astray,” God in the beginning created human beings and made them subject to their own free choice. If you choose, you can keep the commandments; loyalty is doing the will of God. Set before you are fire and water; to whatever you choose, stretch out your hand.  Before everyone are life and death, whichever they choose will be given them. CCC 1730-1738  Freedom and Responsibility.  So here we have the two demands.  To be childlike and to be mature.  To be small and to be big.  These demands, to be small and big can become extremes.  And in the spiritual life, there are two heresies that reflect these two extremes:  Quietism and Pietism.   Two extremes:  Quietism  The Spanish theologian Miguel de Molinos developed Quietism.  From his writings, especially from his "Dux spiritualis" (Rome, 1675), sixty-eight propositions were extracted and condemned by Innocent XI in 1687 Catholic Encyclopedia.  Quietism in the broadest sense is the doctrine which declares that man's highest perfection consists in a sort of psychological and spiritual self-annihilation.  and a consequent absorption of the soul into the Divine Essence even during the present life. In the state of "quietude" the mind is wholly inactive; it no longer thinks or wills on its own account, but remains passive while God acts within it. Quietism is thus generally speaking a sort of false or exaggerated mysticism.   Passivity in therapy.  Psychopathology-ectomy.  Want a general anesthetic, and for me to remove all the dysfunction and problems while they rest.  With my psychotherapy scalpel.  You’re the doctor, you’re supposed to be able to do this.   Pietism is a movement within the ranks of Protestantism, originating in the reaction against the highly intellectualize and reified Protestant theology of the seventeenth century, and aiming at the revival of devotion and practical Christianity. Its appearance in the German Lutheran Church, about 1670, is connected with the name of Philipp Jakob Spener – German Lutheran Theologian, Father of pietism.  His sermons, in which he emphasized the necessity of a lively faith and the sanctification of daily lifeIt is primarily one’s own individual achievements, the way a man as an individual lives up to his religious duties and moral commandments, the way a woman imitates the "virtues" of Christ, that ensure them justification. Spiritual growth is an individual self-improvement project that minimizes the role of the Church, mystical body of Christ and all believers.  In therapy, pietists have to do it all by themselves.  Unwilling to receive help. Suspicious of it.  Might reduce the magnitude of their own achievements,  They have to be captains of their own ships, bootstrappers.  The quietist says, “Do nothing for yourself.”  God does it all.  I’m totally passive.  God takes all the action.  The pietist says, “Do every...

Episode 34        Radical Receptivity       September 21, 2020. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where by God’s grace, you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski your host and guide, with Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com.  Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 34, released on September 21, 2020 and it is titled:. Radical Receptivity.  Radical spiritual receptivity.  We’ve been building up to this topic over the last few weeks, so before we get into radical receptivity, let’s just cast a glance back where we’ve been over the last few episodes: In the last episode, episode 33, we explored openness in the natural realm·         Because Grace perfects nature, we often start with the natural realm·         looked at how psychologists define openness o   Openness as one of the big five personality traits§  Along with neuroticism, extraversion, agreeableness and conscientiousnesso   open individuals are curious about both the inner and outer worlds, they have experientially rich lives compared to closed individuals.  o   Lack of conventionality, willingness to question authority, prepared to consider new ethical, social, and political ideas.·         we looked at the six domains within openness:  o   fantasy, aesthetics, feelings, actions, ideas, and values (repeat) Today, we’re going to look at openness in the spiritual life, in the spiritual realm.   Receptivity: ·         I often use the word receptivity to capture a sense of openness in relationship with God and Our Lady, our spiritual parents.  And not just openness – but more than openness.  o   having the quality of receiving, taking in, or admitting.o   able or quick to receive knowledge, ideas, etc.: a receptive mind.  Mindseto   willing or inclined to receive suggestions, offers, etc., with favor: a receptive listener.  Mindset:o   What about taking in relationship, connection – relational receptivity.  o   Radical openness.  Toddler, infant – taking in almost everything he has.   So in this episode, we’re going into radical openness in the spiritual life, what I am calling radical receptivity to emphasize how we need to take in to receive from God and our Mother Mary.    Remember, the primary developmental task of the infant and toddler is to learn to trust.  We discussed this in episodes 30 and 31.  Our primary task is to learn to trust.  And remember that we’ve identified that the one essential thing for a Catholic to be resilient is that childlike trust, that absolute confidence in God.  Psalm 22: Yet it was you who took me from the womb;     you kept me safe on my mother’s breast. 10 On you I was cast from my birth,     and since my mother bore me you have been my God. 11 Do not be far from me,     for trouble is near     and there is no one to help. You kept me safe on my mother’s breast.    If we have that childlike trust, that absolute confidence in God, nothing stops us from being resilient.  We can fall down, and we can get up, because we have a deep awareness, in our bones, that we are deeply loved, cherished, that God and Mary delight in us.  But this childlike trust, this absolute confidence is the primary area where we fail.   Listen to the way that St. Peter refers to us as Christians, as Catholics: 1 Peter 2: 2-3 2 Like newborn infants, long for the pure, spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow into salvation— 3 if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. Listen to St. Paul:  But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children.  1 Thessalonians 2:7But I, brethren, could not address you as spiritual men, but as men of the flesh, as babes in Christ. I fed you with milk, not solid food; for you were not ready for it; and even yet you are not ready, for you are still of all the flesh. (1 Corinthians 3:1-3)The Church, the Blessed Virgin Mary, and God’s tender care, like a mother.  Isaiah 49  “Can a woman forget her nursing child,     that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget,     yet I will not forget you. Rejoice with Jerusalem, and be glad for her,    all you who love her;    rejoice with her in joy,    all you who mourn over her;    that you may suck and be satisfied    with her consoling breasts;    that you may drink deeply with delight    from the abundance of her glory. (Isaiah 66:10-11) As a clinician, I see this so much psychological baggage around trust, so many psychological impediments around this absolute confidence in God, and these stemmed from negative experiences we’ve had.  It doesn’t have to be abuse or neglect, can also be just the common attachment injuries that we sustain, believe us to be guarded, careful, and cautious.  We bring these into our relationship with God our father, and with Mary our mother.  And it’s not just in my clients, this is ubiquitous it’s everywhere it is in all of us.   Isaiah 40:11 He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather together the lambs with his arm, and shall take them up in his bosom, and he himself shall carry them that are with young. 28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28 The only reason we don’t experience this is because we don’t let God in. Because we’re afraid, guarded, self-protective, and we don’t know.   Review of how Mary is our primary Mother.   Fr. Emil Neubert, my ideal: Jesus son of Mary, part one, chapter 4: Mary is even more truly your mother then your earthly mother.…  She loves you – you, all imperfect and ungrateful as you are; she loves you with a love that surpasses in intensity and in purity the motherly love of all the mothers in the world.  Above all, she is more truly your mother because of the nature of the life which she has given you. RCCD member Jonathan is putting together a book club in the RCCD community.    O1 Openness to Fantasy: vivid imagination, active fantasy life, daydreaming as not only an escape, but a way of creating an interesting inner world for themselv...

Episode 33. –  Being Open and Coping Well          September 14, 2020. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where by God’s grace, you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski your host and guide, with Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com.  Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 33, released on September 14, 2020 and it is titled: Being Open and Coping Well Today we’re going to explore openness in the natural realm.  And as a special bonus, we will explore closedness.   Abierto Cerrado.   Review:  Episode 32:  Ways to increase trust, especially given the negative experiences.  0-24 months.  Exercise – popular.  Need more of that.   Episode 31  The One Thing You Must Have to Be Resilient.  The one thing that you need, the one prerequisite.  Absolute childlike trust There is one thing that separates those who are resilient from those who are not.   Childlike Trust (particularly in God’s goodness and his Providence for me in particular) separate those who are resilient from those who are not.  Absolute confidence in God.     Episode 30: discussion of why we mistrust God so much, and it is because we are trying to be way too big.  Trying to make it on our own we don’t feel safe.  Trust is faith in action.   We hate and fear the dependency required to be in a real relationship with God.  Reciprocal relationship between openness and trust.    Why do I bring in Non-Catholic ideas:   What makes me different.  Not closed to new ideas.   Catholic with a small c  -- universal.St. Augustine:  On Christian Doctrine (De Doctrina Christiana)  CHAP. 40.—Whatever has been rightly said by the heathen we must appropriate to our uses. Paragraphs 60 and 61  Branches of heathen learning … contain also liberal instruction which is better adapted to the use of the truth, and some most excellent precepts of morality; and some truths in regard even to the worship of the One God are found among them. Not only natural learning, but we can learn truths regarding the worship of God.  Freud.  How many times have I heard Freud being dismissed out of hand by Catholics because of his views on religion.  I get it.  Freud:  God as an illusion, we’re like infants who need a big, strong father to keep us safe and secure.  A big daddy in the sky.   Religion had its uses to keep the unwashed masses subdued so that civilization could develop.  We needed something to help us restrain violent impulses and keep life on earth from turning into an episode from Jerry Springer.  But now we have reason and science.   Reason and Science.   I travel in a lot of traditional Catholic circles, I attend the Latin Mass, love the beauty of the ancient Mass.  Not a lot of traditional Catholic psychologists.  Consulted nationwide, coming to Indianapolis, lot’s of suspicion.   Lots of rejection of psychology But listen to what Freud is saying – we need a father.  We have an infantile need for a Father. He says it more clearly than a lot of Catholic speakers do – which Catholic media personalities have you heard really driving home the point that we are little, like todders, like infants in our need.  Freud found part of the Truth.   Pope Francis.  Not to bash the pope.  Not about that in Souls and Hearts or this podcast or the RCCD community.  September 8, 2017 New Yorker    The Pope’s Shrink and Catholicism’s Uneasy Relationship with FreudPope Francis Sought Psychoanalysis at 42,” the Times headline read. Other outlets treated the news more salaciously—“Pope Reveals,” “Pope Admits.” Some noted that the psychoanalyst in question was Jewish, or that she was a woman. Below the headlines, though, the stories were the same: a French sociologist named Dominique Wolton had published a book of interviews with the Pope, and, buried on page 385, amid discussions of the migrant crisis and the clash with Islam, America’s wars and Europe’s malaise, was the four-decade-old scoop that had made editors sit up. “I consulted a Jewish psychoanalyst,” Francis told Wolton. “For six months, I went to her home once a week to clarify certain things. She was very good. She was very professional as a doctor and a psychoanalyst, but she always knew her place.”Almost immediately, the news drew venom from the Pope’s detractors. A writer for the Web site Novus Ordo Watch, a mouthpiece of the ultra-conservative Catholic fringe—its slogan is “Unmasking the Modernist Vatican II Church”—insisted that Francis’s treatment by a “female Jewish Freudian” was “a really big smoking gun,” incontrovertible evidence that his “mind is saturated with Jewish ideas.”Jorge Mario Bergoglio appears to have undergone such an experience before he became Pope. When he started psychoanalysis, he was in the last year of his tenure as provincial superior of the Jesuits in Argentina, 1979. The military junta’s Dirty War was raging, and it had put Bergoglio to the test. “I made hundreds of errors,” Francis told an interviewer, in 2013. “Errors and sins.” He described the period as “a time of great interior crisis.” Lucky him that he found a therapist who, mostly with the acutely focussed and patently empathetic listening that characterizes a good analyst, could enable his return to wholeness. “She helped me a lot,” he told Wolton.Biology we learned about the double helix structure of DNA.  Beautiful. that James Watson and Francis Crick discovered the double-helix structure of DNA in 1953.  1962.  Nobel Prize James Watson:  Very anti-Catholic.  Anti a lot of things.  Racism, anti-semitism.  .   He also said that while he wished the races were equal, “people who have to deal with black employees find this not true.” Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory Infanticide   “If a child were not declared alive until 3 days after birth, then all parents could be allowed the choice only a few have under the present system. The doctor could allow the child to die if the parents so choose and save a lot of misery and suffering. I believe this view is the only rational, compassionate attitude to have.” Raised Catholic, he later described himself as "an escapee from the Catholic religion."  

Episode 32. – Trauma, Trust, Treatment and Truth     September 7, 2020. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where with God’s help you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski your host and guide, with Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com.  Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 32, released on September 7, 2020 and it is titled: Trauma, Trust, Treatment and Truth.  Today is a deep dive into the effects of trauma and attachment wounds on Trust.  And then we will discuss how by God’s grace and with his help we can experience God as he is, not our distorted God images, rise out of the ashes of our experiences and our injuries.   Very specific techniques to help. Era of Coronavirus – call to trust God and Mary.   Reviews  Episode 30: discussion of why we mistrust God so much, and it is because we are trying to be way too big.  Trying to make it on our own we don’t feel safe.   We hate and fear the dependency required to be in a real relationship with God.  On my terms, on my conditions, within my vision, within my understanding.  We’re going to meet as equals.  We are going to be partners, like equally or almost equally yoked.  God is my co-pilot bumper sticker.  Becoming small so that God can be big.  Episode 31  The One Thing You Must Have to Be Resilient.  The one thing that you need, the one prerequisite.  Absolute childlike trust There is one thing that separates those who are resilient from those who are not.   Childlike Trust (particularly in God’s goodness and his Providence for me in particular) separate those who are resilient from those who are not.   In both those episodes, we look at the critical period from age 0 to 24 months, when the major developmental task is to resolve the conflict between trust and mistrust.  Almost every development will psychologist points to this as the critical developmental work in this stage of life.   We also discussed how so much of the developmental work in this during the ages of 0 to 24 months is done not by the infants or the toddler, not by the little child, rather by the parents.  We don’t expect infants and toddlers to be listening to self-help tapes and engaging in self-improvement classes.   They are far from the age of reason.  So in this issues of trust, God and Mary do the main lifting.  We allow ourselves to be changed, to be formed.   What little children, what infants and toddlers have is a great capacity for receptivity and a freedom from self-consciousness.  They have a natural humility.  They don’t worry about their self-image so much.  They are flexible.  They use their imaginations.  They don’t fear failing.  They don’t degrade themselves when they’re trying new things.  They can be learning to walk, falling down, and laughing at themselves.  They can make mistakes, they can try things out. No one expects perfection from a little child. Most therapies have focused on greater maturity, greater self-efficacy, being a more effective agent in the world, growing up. List of therapies and their goals These therapist have trouble when there is complex trauma, especially when that trauma goes back to the first two years of life.  Recent protocols developed.  Bootstrap therapies don’t work.  Very low success rates.   1.      Focus on complex trauma –2.      Complex trauma: a.         is usually interpersonal i.e. occurs between people usually people who know each otherb.        involves being or feeling trappedc.        is often planned, extreme, ongoing and/or repeatedd.      often has more severe, persistent and cumulative impactse.        involves challenges with shame, trust, self-esteem, identity and regulating emotions.f.        Results in different coping strategies. These include alcohol and drug use, self-harm, over- or under-eating, over-work etc.                                                                          i.      emotional dysregulation                                                                        ii.      changes in consciousness – dissociation                                                                      iii.      negative self-perception – shame, inadequacy                                                                      iv.      problems in relationships                                                                        v.      distorted perceptions of others, including abusers                                                                      vi.      loss of systems of meaning – losing my religion REM 1991g.      affects emotional and physical health, wellbeing, relationships and daily functioning3.       Complex trauma is trauma that occurs repeatedly and cumulatively, usually over a period of time and within specific relationships and contexts.” Examples include severe child abuse, domestic abuse, or multiple military deployments to dangerous locations.Single incident trauma occurs with `one off’ events. It is commonly associated with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Single incident trauma can occur from a bushfire, flood, sexual or physical assault in adulthood, or from fighting in a war.  Dyadic resourcing is typically a five step process:  1.       identifying a nurturing adult resource,2.    &n...

Episode 31. -- The One Essential You Must Have to Be Resilient     August 31, 2020. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski your host and guide, with Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com.  Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 31, released on August 31, 2020 and it is titled: The One Thing You Must Have to Be Resilient.  The one thing that you need, the one prerequisite.  Absolute childlike trust. Repeat.  Absolute confidence in God’s providence.  But to have that absolute confidence, you have to be like a infant or toddler, a parvulum if you’re a guy or a parvula if you’re a gal.     Jesus told St. Faustina, “The graces of My mercy are drawn by means of one vessel only, and that is — trust. The more a soul trusts, the more it will receive. Souls that trust boundlessly are a great comfort to Me, because I pour all the treasures of My graces into them. I rejoice that they ask for much, because it is My desire to give much, very much. On the other hand, I am sad when souls ask for little, when they narrow their hearts”. (Diary 1578)  Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska  Freewheeling1.      Up until the last episode Scripting – more like a formal presentation – some moments when I broke out and riffed.  2.      Now much more natural, more conversationala.       I like this better anyway, to be with youb.      Getting used to not seeing you physically, but I can see you in my mind’s eye3.      I’m learning to trust in this process, that God and our Lady will be present and guide me, I am working on being small with this and having fun with it, much more childlike way.4.      That the episode doesn’t have to be perfect, and that it’s better to leave room for spontaneity and inspiration5.      Saves time – 6-7 hours, a lot of it fretting about wording.  a.       I can put the time back into the community in other ways.6.      Thank you to the RCCD community members for the feedback – Jonathan, Martha, Ann, and John it  helps me with my growing edge to keep trying new things.   Best Spiritual Reading Book Chapter Title ever --  Chapter 2 of Life of Union with Mary – Fr. Emile Neubert Take Only what Applies to You”   Review: spiral back to Episode 30 – Why do we have so much difficulty trusting God – it’s because we are too grown up.  We’re too big.   Eric Erickson 1902-1994 1.      Emphasized social development rather than resolution of sexual issues2.      Developmental Tasks that need to be resolved in each stage3.      Birth to 18 month the main conflict and developmental task is trust vs. mistrust.4.      This is the most important phase of life.  Shapes our view of the world, in addition to our personality.  a.       Can I trust those who care for me, those who are near me?  b.      Task is Hope – if this phase is adequately resolved, the result, Erickson said, is a sense of hope and confidence that relationships are beneficial, they are good.  A sense of personal competence.  c.       If successful in this, the baby develops a sense of trust, which "forms the basis in the child for a sense of identity." Failure to develop this trust will result in a  deep pervasive fear and a sense that the world is inconsistent and unpredictable. Parallel in attachment theory – John Bowlby 1907-1990 psychologist, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst  Infants and toddlers instinctively turn to their parents in distress unless there is disorder – what Bowlby and Ainsworth found.   The formation of early healthy emotional connections to mother and father is central to identity development.  Relationships are crucial, and challenged Freuds ideas about the primacy of psychic energy.  Security is dependent on healthy relational bonds.   Erickson and Bowlby said that the first and greatest challenge, the first and greatest task in the natural human development is to learn to trust, to be able to trust in relationship, it’s the foundation for all other development.  Gotta get that straight.  I argue that the first and greatest task, the first and greatest challenge in the spiritual life is to trust God.   There is one thing that separates those who are resilient from those who are not.   Childlike Trust (particularly in God’s goodness and his Providence for me in particular) separate those who are resilient from those who are not.   We are resilient not because of our own efficacy, our own ability, our own strength, our own intelligence, our own resources, our own knowledge, our own skills, talents, money, possessions, but Catholic resilience depends on connecting to and sharing in the love and power and omniscience of God, sheltering under His wing.  And if we are spiritually small in our relationship with God, when we fall, it’s not that far to the ground. We won’t get hurt.    Effects of the Fall – psychological devastation.   However the infant and the toddler will always be disappointed and wounded by the parents, because mom is not perfect, and dad is not God.   Often this is totally unintentional.   Paraphrased From Nancy McWilliams (2011) Psychoanalytic Diagnosis (second edition).   Men may easily underestimate how intimidating they are to their young daughters; men’s bodies, faces, and voices are harsher than those of either of girls or their mothers, and they take some getting used to.  A father who is angry seems particularly formidable, perhaps especially to a sensitive girl.  If a man engages in tantrums, harsh criticism, erratic behavior, or sexual violation, he may be terrifying.  A doting father who also intimidates his little girl creates a kind of approach-avoidance conflict; he is an exciting but feared object.  If he seems to dominate his wife, as in a patriarchal family, the effect is magnified.  His daughter will learn that girls and women are less valued than boys and men. Oldest daughter Grace, married earlier this month, “the practice child.”  Grace and me.    There are parts of us that think we are going to be annihilated if we are small, if we are vulnerable again.  This is terrifying for us.  Think about the differential  6 foot tall and   1600 lbs, 12 ft. tall.   Able to lift a ton  worse than getting in the wrestling ring with Andrew the Giant.   <...

Episode 30. How Small and Childlike are We Supposed to Be? -- August 24, 2020. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, where you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski your host and guide, with Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com.  Thank you for being here with me.  Let’s jump right in with this critical, central question.  Why is it that we have such a hard time trusting God?  Why is it that our confidence in God is so inconsistent, why is it that we are so fickle?  Why is it so hard for us to have the absolute confidence in God that He merits, that he deserves from us?  That’s what we will be addressing in episode 30 of Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!, released on August 24, 2020 from the Souls and Hearts studio in Indianapolis.  The title for today’s episode is How Small and Childlike are we Supposed to Be?  We’re going to get into the psychological side of this question of childlike trust in particular.  There are other sides to the question – the spiritual side, the moral side – we’ll address those sides in passing.  But what is so often neglected, so often denied, so often ignored, and thus so unknown and unavailable to so many Catholics – what we really need so badly -- is a realistic, accurate understanding of the psychological factors, the factors in the natural realm that get in the way of us trusting our God and our Lady.  We’ve certainly touched on some of these factors before, so let’s review for a moment, let’s go back to take a look at what we’ve developed in previous episodes.  So here is the causal chain as we’ve described it so far:We have distorted God images in our bones, we have distorted God images in the emotional, intuitive parts of us.  The trouble happens when we give in to those God images, we let them dominate us, we let them take over, we default to them, and we act in accord with those false God images.   Then, our self-image deteriorates.  Meanwhile, we drift away from God or even flee from him.  All the while, we are losing our peace, joy, well-being.  When that gets bad enough, we become symptomatic – anxious, depressed, apathetic, hopeless, panicky, obsessive, whatever our symptoms are.  So let’s back up one more link in the causal chain and ask the question:  What’s the main psychological reason we don’t resist our problematic God images?  I’m again talking psychological reasons here, not just spiritual reasons like having a particular vice.  Psychologically, we lose track of who God really is.  We don’t God clearly in those moments, and we waver, we are tempted to doubt, we are inclined to fall again into our destructive patterns, whatever those are for us.  We are lured by our false God images into ways of thinking, feeling, desiring and acting that are harmful to us and to others.    Why Do We Mistrust God and Mary So Much ?  I’ll give you the answer.  It’s because we are too grown up.  We are trying to be way too big.  Actively mistrusting – fearing.  Or just not considering God at all.  That what we are like when we act big.We know this.  We know the Bible verses.  We’ve heard them.  But do we really get what they are saying?     Matthew 18 1. At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” 2 And calling to him a child (RSV, NAB), “little child” (DR) (ESV)he put him in the midst of them, 3 and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever humbles himself like this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.  5 “Whoever receives one such child in my name receives me; 6 but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin,[a] it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. 1 In illa hora accesserunt discipuli ad Iesum dicentes: “ Quis putas maior est in regno caelorum? ”.  2 Et advocans parvulum, statuit eum in medio eorum  3 et dixit: “ Amen dico vobis: Nisi conversi fueritis et efiiciamini sicut parvuli, non intrabitis in regnum caelorum.  4 Quicumque ergo humiliaverit se sicut parvulus iste, hic est maior in regno caelorum.  5 Et, qui susceperit unum parvulum talem in nomine meo, me suscipit. 6 Qui autem scandalizaverit unum de pusillis istis, qui in me credunt, expedit ei, ut suspendatur mola asinaria in collo eius et demergatur in profundum maris.very little, very small, tiny. petty, insignificant, Tiny.  Like babies.  Like sheep in their understanding.  When we approach God:  like that.  When sent out as sheep among wolves Matthew 10:16 Wise (Shrewd) as serpents, simple as doves.  Harmless, plain, sincere, without guile.  Without me you can do nothing.  19 Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing; for whatever he does, that the Son does likewise. (John 5:19) 30 “I can do nothing on my own authority; as I hear, I judge; and my judgment is just, because I seek not my own will but the will of him who sent me.  (John 5:30) Matthew 1913 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people; 14 but Jesus said, “Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And he laid his hands on them and went away.13 Tunc oblati sunt ei parvuli, ut manus eis imponeret et oraret; discipuli autem increpabant eis.  14 Iesus vero ait: “ Sinite parvulos et nolite eos prohibere ad me venire; talium est enim regnum caelorum ”.  15 Et cum imposuisset eis manus, abiit inde.Parvulus:  Childhood.  But emphasis on infancy.  Little, slight, unimportant, very young, insufficient, indiscreet, not able to understand.   Diminutive of Parvus  -- small, little, ignorable, unimportant.    A story of cousin Ryan.  3 or 4 years old. Dapper seersucker suit and matching cap.  Christmas morning – big deal on Mom’s side of the family.  I was young teenager.  Wanting to be a big man.  Ryan was playing.   For St. Therese of Lisieux, everything is based on and flows from spiritual childhood asserts Fr. François Jamart in The Complete Spiritual Doctrine of S...

Episode 29. Magic Genie Gods and Party-Pooper Gods, August 17, 2020. Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis:  Carpe Diem, where you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski your host and guide, with Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com.  Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 29, released on August 17, 2020 and the title Magic Genie Gods and Party-Pooper Gods.  Hang in there with me today through this episode and at the end, I will be walking you through an exercise to help you identify your God images.   Brief review:  let’s go back and review, what are God images again?  My God image how my heart feels God to be in the moment.  My God image is who my emotions tell me that God in this present moment.  My God image is very subjective, often driven by factors that are outside of my awareness in the moment, it can be miles away from who I know God to be when the sun is shining and the birds are singing and all is well with me and the world. .  So it is critical to understand is that your God images are not necessarily who you profess God to be with your intellect and your will.  They are the subjective, unfiltered, spontaneous, passion-driven representations of God that can vary wildly, sometimes even from moment to moment. Similarly, my self-image is who I feel myself to be in the present moment, it is who my passions are telling me that I am right this minute.  M self-images are much more driven by emotion, much more intuitive, subjective, and they also vary a lot more from moment to moment.  My self image in the moment fits with my God image in the moment.  Sometimes the self-image can drive the God-image, and sometimes the God image drives the self-image.   If you want more about God images, check out episodes 22, 23, and 24 of this podcast where I go into the concepts in much more depth.   Jessica from Texas has been intrigued by God images – she’s taking us another step with this question:  How do God images affect our relationships and reactions to others?  Repeat.  This is a great question.  We’ve discussed God images and self-images and how they differ from our God concept and our self-concepts.  Similarly, our God images and self-images impact how we see others in the moment.  Let’s consider an example.  If I’m really struggling with an Elitist Aristocrat God image, where my passions are telling me in the moment that God doesn’t need me, he’s too good for me, he has other people that he prefers, others who are much more in his favor, upon whom he bestows his gifts, his graces, and his love, with little for me.  If that’s how I’m seeing God in my God image, and my self-image is that I’m left out, excluded, denied, and the private of good things from God, this God image and self-image combination is going to have an impact on how I see others.  For example, I might experience jealousy toward my brother Phil whom I consider to be in God’s favor.  I may resent Phil, and if I give into this image of him, I will treat Phil out of that jealousy, by holding back good things that I could give him because I feel my brother Phil is already getting so much from God.  Why should I give him anything – he already has so much and I get so little from God.  I need to keep what I have.  Let’s take another example.  With his Elitist Aristocrat God image, 24-year-old Ian might feel inadequate around Tina in their Catholic Young Adult Group.  Ian sees God favoring Tina in so many ways.  Ian feels unworthy of being around Tina, and therefore he refuses to engage with her, in order to avoid an exacerbation of his sense of shame.  So even though Ian is romantically attracted to Tina, he doesn’t ask her out because of the inhibiting effect of his God image and the self-image that goes with that Elitist Aristocrat God image.  God images and their corresponding self-images impact the way we see all aspects of our lives.  Our perceptions of reality are profoundly influenced by our God images and are self-images, and this extends not just to how we experience others, but it reaches to the furthest corners of our minds and impacts all our internal impressions, not only of God and self, but of everything.  Our God images and are self-images create filters that color our perceptions of everything that has happened, that is happening, and that will happen in our lives.  Many of these perceptions and impressions do not enter into our awareness, but they impact us just the same.In fact, I argue that we build an implicit religion around each of our individual God images.  Let’s take this slow and easy, because this has some conceptual depth to it.  The Catholic Dictionary defines religion as the moral virtue by which a person is disposed to render to God the worship and service he deserves.  [Repeat]Each warped God image demands certain things from us and informs us about how he is to be worshipped and served.  For example, the Demanding Drill Sergeant God image always wants more and more, he wants me to always strive harder, to exhaust myself in prayer and service to others.  So in my religion to that God, I put in long hours of volunteering, I push others to do the same, and I treat both myself and others harshly.  The Vain Pharisee God image demands that I grovel before him, and humiliate myself in order to give him constant homage, and credit for all success.  Therefore, in my worship and service to the Vain Pharisee God I’m extremely stringent and down on myself, and I degrade myself in my prayer and cut myself down in my Bible study group.  The Outtogetcha Police Detective God image insist on perfection, and enjoys catching me in sins of commission.  Therefore, part of my religion is to be very conservative, to only take on what I feel I can do without any mistakes, so I avoid the messy business of relating to others in a deep way and stay on the periphery of my parish community.   Sometimes we can infer our God image from the religion we seem to be practicing.  For example, if I notice I am not praying, what might that say about my recently activated God images?  So Jessica, thank you for this question of  How do God images affect our relationships and reactions to others?  How we react to our God images and how we react to our self-images in the moment colors are perceptions of everything. In the previous four episodes of the Coronavirus Crisis: Carpe Diem!  Podcast, we have covered twelve God images from Bill and Kristi Gaultiere’s 1989 book Mistaken Identities.  I’m adding much more color and background to these God imagers, to make them come even more alive for us Catholics in our present day with the challenges of the coronavirus.  With a little imagination, you can see how these God images impact everything if we let them, if we give into them.  There’s no corner of our lives no detail of our lives that will escape being affected when we default to our problemat...

Episode 28.   Police Detective Gods, Pushy Salesman Gods, and Heartbreaker Gods – August 10, 2020 Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis:  Carpe Diem, where you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski your host and guide, with Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com.  Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 28, released on August 10, 2020 and the title is Salesmen Gods, Police Detective Gods and Heartbreaker Gods. So will cover three more God images today, the Outtogetcha Police Detective God, Pushy Salesman God, and Heartbreaker God.  In the previous three episodes, numbers 25, 26, 27, we covered a total of nine God images. Brief review:  let’s just spiral back and review, what are God images again?  My God image is my gut-felt sense of God -- it’s how my heart feels God to be in the moment.  My God image is who my emotions insist that God is right here, right now.  My God image is very subjective, it can be miles away from who I know God to be intellectually, who I profess God to be.  So it is critical to understand is that your God images are not necessarily who you profess God to be with your intellect in your will.  They are the subjective, unfiltered, spontaneous, passion-driven representations of God that can vary wildly, sometimes even from moment to moment. Similarly, my self-image is who I feel myself to be in the present moment, it is who my passions are telling me that I am right this minute.  M self-images are much more driven by emotion, much more intuitive, subjective, and they also vary a lot more from moment to moment.  My self image in the moment complements my God image in the moment.   That’s a brief review of God images and self-images, but if you want more of a conceptual background for God images, check out episodes 22, 23, and 24 where I much more in-depth explanation of them. So what is the connection between problematic God images and resilience?  Because remember, we are in a sequence in this podcast that is all about resilience.  Here is where we get right down to it.  We need a deep and abiding confidence in God, especially in God’s Providence in order to be resilient.  That resilience is an effect – it’s a consequence of the deep, abiding confidence in God, especially in God’s Providential care for us, His love for us.  If you have a deep, abiding, childlike confidence in God and His providential love for you, for you specifically, you will be resilient.  Period.  Full Stop.  Let me say that again, this is absolutely critical to understand.  If you have a deep, abiding, childlike confidence in God and His providential love for you, for you specifically, you will be resilient.  Let’s keep in mind how the main psychological reason why we don’t have that deep abiding confidence in God is because we don’t know Him as He truly is.  We have problematic God images.  We give into those problematic God images, we default to them, we let them dominate us.  And these distorted God images lie to us about who God is.  They whisper half-truths to us and they draw us away from the real God when we give in to them, when we don’t resist them.  These distorted God images also lie to us about who we are, leading to distorted self-images.  Note please don’t misunderstand me.  There usually are at least some elements of truth even in the most distorted God images and the most warped self-images.  The messages from these distorted God-images and these inaccurate self images aren’t purely false.  The messages actually have some kernel of truth in them, which can make it confusing for us.  So here is the causal chain:We have distorted God images à we give in to those God images, we let them dominate us à our self-image deteriorates à we drift away from God or we flee from him à we lose peace, joy, well-being  à we become symptomatic – anxious, depressed, apathetic, hopeless, whatever our symptoms are.  Too often, we tried to intervene at the end of the causal chain.  We want to intervene at the symptomatic level.  For example, we may take antidepressants to try to knock out our depressive symptoms.  Or we might use progressive muscle relaxation or guided imagery or grounding techniques to reduce our anxiety.  I’m not condemning these practices, they can be helpful for symptom management.  But no medication in the world is going to correct a dysfunctional, distorted God image on its own.  Have you ever heard of any psychotropic drug that in its slick advertising promises to improve your relationship with God?  Symptom-focused approaches don’t get at the root causes of our psychological distress.  They can create some space with symptom relief for us to more effectively address the root causes, but symptom focused approaches don’t heal those root causes on their own.It’s also important to note that just because we have anxiety or sadness doesn’t mean we have a distorted God image driving it.  Our Lord experienced intense grief.  He experienced anxiety in the garden of Gethsemane.  This was not a psychological disorder.  Our Lady was anxious when searching for 12-year-old Jesus in Jerusalem.  This was not because she had some kind of anxiety disorder or emotional dysfunction.  So it’s important to note that not all negative emotional experiences or all psychological distress are an effect of problematic God images.  So we had a great meeting last Friday night there were 13 of us from the Resilient Catholics: Carpe Diem!  Community in that meeting for a question-and-answer session about God images.  It was an excellent discussion.  This message came through clearly: Dr. Peter, Dr. Peter, help us resolve are problematic God images help us to work through them help us to heal from these burdensome distorted God images that drag us down.  I get it.  I hear you.  I’m with you.  I am working on how to present solutions to you.  I am going ask for little patience.  I have nearly 2 decades of experience helping people one-on-one to work through their God images, and while I have a lot left to learn, I do know some things about it.  I am still very much sorting through how best to address God images in a podcast format, and how best to assist people with their problematic God images in the RCCD community.  Together, we are going to go through some trial and error with that.  Right now, we are really focused on identifying different types of God images.  Identification of God images is an essential prerequisite to actually doing the God image work.  So I’m excited that people want to work on their God images.  I’ve started having people sign up on the interest list for a course on God images that would focus specifically on resolving them.  If you’re interested in getting on that list let me know at crisis@soulsandhearts.com or at...

Episode 27.   Robber Gods, Aristocrat Gods and Marshmallow Gods – August 3, 2020 Intro: Welcome to the podcast Coronavirus Crisis:  Carpe Diem, where you and I rise up and embrace the possibilities and opportunities for spiritual and psychological growth in this time of crisis, all grounded in a Catholic worldview.   We are going beyond mere resilience, to rising up to the challenges of this pandemic and becoming even healthier in the natural and the spiritual realms than we were before.  I’m clinical psychologist Peter Malinoski your host and guide, with Souls and Hearts at soulsandhearts.com.  Thank you for being here with me.  This is episode 27, released on August 3, 2020 and the title is Robber Gods, Aristocrat Gods and Marshmallow Gods. For those of you who are new to the podcast, first of all, a very hearty welcome to you, I’m glad you’re joining us.  I want you to know that each episode can stand alone, and I will provide you with the background you need to understand each episode.  However, if you want more of a conceptual background for God images, check out episodes 22, 23, and 24.     Brief review:  let’s just circle back around and review, what are God images again?  My God image is my experiential sense of God it’s how my heart sees God, what my feelings tell me about God.  My God image is very subjective, it doesn’t necessarily follow what I know about God in my head.  My God image is formed out of the relational experiences I’ve had.  Different God images can be activated at different times, depending on my emotional states and what psychological mode I am in at any given time.  So what’s important to remember is that your God images are not necessarily what you profess to believe with your intellect.  Rather, they are the unfiltered, spontaneous, uncensored, gut-felt sense of God in the moment. Similarly, my self-images are much more driven by emotion, much more intuitive, subjective, and they vary a lot more from moment to moment.  My self-image is who I feel myself to be in a given moment, it is who my passions are telling me that I am in the moment.  Self-images go together with God images – they impact each other.   In the last two episodes, episode 25 and 26, we looked at a total of six different negative God images originally identified by Christian psychotherapists Bill and Kristi Gaultiere in their 1989 book Mistaken Identities.  Those were the Drill Sergeant God, the Statue God, the preoccupied managing director God, Unjust Dictator God, the Vain Pharisee God, and the Critical Scrooge God.   I do want you to know that I’m going beyond their initial conceptualizations and adding much more in these podcast episodes, most of it derived from my clinical experience and also my own experience in my journey with God.  So I just want you to know that I am adding a lot of new material, but I do think their initial pioneering work really deserves to be credited. All right, so let’s go to listener questions.  Ryan from Texas has this question: “After identifying problematic God images in my own life, I want to know how deterministic God images are.  Are they imprinted from childhood or do they change with time?  And what we do to make our God images align with the loving and caring God we profess to know in our God concept?” Great question, Ryan.  Let’s get into that just briefly right now, and I will say much more about it in future podcast episodes.  I also very much want to do a much more in-depth course at Souls & Hearts on God images, particularly how to respond to them, and also how to bring them into greater harmony with who God really is.   That’s one measure of mental health, is when our God images reflect the reality of our loving and caring God.  So if you are interested in a course like that, let me know.  Once I have 25 people that would be committed to a much more in-depth course, and would be willing to pay for it, I could begin to set aside the time to create it.  If you’re interested in that, call me or text me at 317-567-9594 or email me at crisis@soulsandhearts.com and let me know, and I put you on the list.   So back to Ryan’s question Initially, God images are formed in us from our first days.  Even as infants, we are learning about the world and nonverbal assumptions are being formed in us.  Imagine an infants, I will call him baby Joe, who has an attuned, psychologically healthy mother who can really enter into the baby’s experience.  The mother is able to intuit what the baby needs, and meet those needs in a loving, competent way.  The baby has a sense of being seen and known, and also has safety and security, which are the first to conditions of secure attachment.  This sets the baby up to have a greater sense of safety and security, a greater sense of being seen and known by God. Contrast that baby’s experience with another, who I will call baby Tom, whose father recently divorced his mother.  Baby Tom’s mother is stressed out, having to reenter the workforce, feeling a deep sense of shame and abandonment, and is struggling with depression and anxiety.  Unconsciously, baby Tom’s mother blames baby Tom for driving away her husband.  This is going to have a huge impact on baby Tom’s sense of being seen and known, of being safe and secure. So it’s clear that baby Joe and baby Tom are going to have different starting points with regard to their God images.  The impact of parents’ ways of relating with children is difficult to underestimate when it comes to the generation of children’s God images.  Nevertheless, and this is very important, there is another factor that has an even greater impact on what the ultimate God images are.  And that, my dear listeners is what is our experience of the actual living God.  These God images that are formed in us beyond our control will change over time, if we bring ourselves into contact with God really is.  The reason that so many God images seem to be so sticky, they seem to hang around so much, is because they have not yet been corrected by God.  Sometimes God delays correcting these God images, to draw us into deeper relationship with him.  Other times though, we refuse to allow God into our lives in a way that would help us see and know who he really is.  We default to our negative God images and we don’t invite him into our lives.  And there are reasons for that, and will get into those in future episodes.  For now, Ryan, I want you and the rest of the listeners to know that the way we engage with the living God, as he is, the way we allow him into our lives into relationship with us – that is going to have much more of an impact on our God images over time than our original upbringing. So our God images can and should change over time.  As we deepen in the spiritual life, as we deepen our relationship with God, our God images will conform more to our God concept, which will conform more to who God really is. Ok, with that, let’s dive into the three God images we are reviewing today, these are the Robber God, the Elite Aristocrat God, and the Marshmallow God.   Robber God:  This God robs me of good things, and prevents me from having good fortune. He...