PsycHacks

Exploring the concept of holding relationships delicately like sand, emphasizing the need for respect and love over control for a lasting and healthy connection.

It's often the case that the solution to some of our most long-standing and intractable problems is incredibly simple. However, we are subject to creating unnecessary complexity as a defense mechanism in order to embed the problem in our lives. Much of my work as a therapist is the gradual and systematic dismantling of such unnecessary complexity to arrive at greater simplicity. This reveals two truths about simplicity: it isn't easy and it's a sign of mastery.

Discussing the paradox of human existence, the podcast delves into the importance of humility in recognizing our true place in the vast universe. Emphasizing the balance between individual significance and smallness in the grand scheme of things.

In a previous episode, "Be a ruthless gardener," I spoke on the importance of pulling up the negative thoughts that can proliferate in your consciousness like weeds without pity or remorse. However, if you do not attend to the soil -- the conditions from which the thoughts emerge -- you will likely be doing a lot of gardening in your life. By attending to your well-being and surrounding yourself with supportive relationships, you might not have to do as much work in the long run.

The most popular belief concerning the origin of mental illness is that it is caused by imbalances in individual brain chemistry. However, there is actually little empirical evidence to support this hypothesis. A theory with more robust support is the stress-diathesis model, which basically states that psychological issues emerge when sufficient stressors converge on an individual to diminish their natural resilience. I will discuss further in this episode.

The podcast discusses the concept of giving the gift of your absence in relationships when faced with criticism. It explains how stepping back can lead to self-reflection, self-worth realization, and emotional self-control.

The key to doing something you fear is cultivating a larger fear of not doing it. In this episode, I'll discuss this principle using an anecdote from my personal life about overcoming my approach anxiety. By remembering how badly I would feel after avoiding my goal, I was finally able to move forward in spite of my fear. This is a tactic that is widely generalizable.

Explore the concept of discipline as a duty, not influenced by emotions, likened to the commitment of a postal worker, emphasizing surrendering to structure as a contractual obligation for effective discipline.

I speak to many stressed-out, burned-out folks in my clinical practice. And a common refrain from them all is that they're "too busy to rest." Supporting this statement is an underlying proposition that rest is a waste of time. However, this is a false and ineffective belief. Rather than view rest as "unproductive," I would like you to consider that it is an essential component of long-term success. I discuss more in this episode.

Nowadays, it's very common for people to seek after passion in their work. Its absence is considered problematic and troubling. However, the origin of this word reveals the absurdity of this search: "passion" means "suffering." Consequently, those who seek after passion are not only inadvertently chasing after pain, but they are subject to discarding "passion-less" opportunities for stability and prosperity, as well. I'll discuss further in this episode.