Gentle Power

In this episode, we discuss a common dilemma: how to negotiate when the job opportunity came through a referral. Many people hesitate to negotiate in these situations out of fear of seeming ungrateful or straining the relationship that helped them get in the door. We share how to approach these conversations without creating awkwardness or risking the relationship.Our conversation covers:Why a warm intro doesn't mean you can’t advocate for yourselfWhy keeping a pulse on your market value now will help you negotiate roles later that came through warm introsThe mindset of treating referrals as opportunities for both sides, not an obligation that you must fulfillHow to communicate tactfully with gratitude, professionalism, and calmViewing referrals like dating intros (mutual fit still matters)We also share:Alex’s biggest DJ set yet: opening at one of NYC’s biggest Halloween festivalsRecording our podcast and serendipitously hosting a mini-reunion during our 12-hour layover to KoreaAlex's real-life story where the “backup company” became the dream offerFor more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

This week we’re joined by Alex Daniels, founder of Decrypted Law and a JD-MBA who is ex-Google, has advised startups and investors during his time at Cooley, and now through his own practice. Alex helps founders and employees navigate legal complexity and drive equitable outcomes through intentional legal design. We explore the structures that keep negotiations ethical, equitable, and grounded in real leverage.Our conversation covers:What founders and employees should know about clawback clauses, non-competes, non-solicits, and NDAs, and why the language matters more than the labelHow to approach severance negotiations, what “reasonable” looks like, and when to consider outside counselHow personal disclosures can shift power in negotiations, and why the wrong timing or location-based pay changes can expose companies to discrimination claimsThe difference between RSAs, RSUs, and ISOs, and how early exercise or cash compensation can preserve real value over timeWe also share:Alex’s journey from Google to Cooley to building his own flat-fee law firm for startupsA true case of a relocation gone wrong and what founders can learn about jurisdiction and fairnessWhy reading and understanding every clause in your offer or CIIAA is the strongest move you can makeThe more awareness you bring to the table, the better equipped you are to ensure your best outcome, and our conversation with Alex provides the tools to navigate your next contract confidently.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we’re joined by corporate attorney and SaaS dealmaker, Omeed Tabiei, whose career spans Hyperloop’s moonshot years, two startups of his own, and now a boutique legal firm that helps software founders from incorporation to exit. We dig into how negotiation really works across the startup lifecycle: pricing your services, converting cold outreach into warm relationships, and protecting leverage when buyers come knocking.We cover:Why everything is a negotiation, from scoping legal work to structuring M&AsHow Omeed turns cold leads warm: identify motivations, give value up front, and keep a seat at the tableHow founders lose leverage in exits and how to run a competitive processDecoding offers beyond the headline price: stock, holdbacks, working-capital adjustments, taxesGuardrails for buyer diligence: phased NDAs, term sheets first, and when to use breakup feesWe also share:Bazaar-born instincts: a dad who made every purchase a negotiation (and how that translates stateside)The inside story of Hyperloop’s rise and lessons from raising nine-figure capital on a moonshotOmeed's journey: starting two companies, navigating a co-founder dispute, and returning to law to help founders succeed“Gentle power” here means pairing clear asks with real empathy: protect your leverage, lead with value, and move every conversation toward fair, durable agreements, for both sides.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we’re joined by Mariane Bekker: engineering leader through six exits, former Director of Engineering at Mindbody, and founder of the 80k-member tech community, Founders Bay. Our conversation explores pay and negotiations from the hiring side, how bias actually shows up in offers, and how women (and allies) can ensure fair offers from both sides of the table.We cover:How to avoid anchoring traps that disadvantage women in offersWhy motivation and scope often matter more than “market data”Practical phrases that reframe the conversation without giving up leverageWe also share:Mariane’s path from cold-calling offices with 50 resumes to building a 55% women engineering orgHow asking for a higher title early shaped every step of her careerReal tactics she used as Head of Engineering to redesign hiring systemsThe personal grit behind her negotiation style, from war-torn Lebanon to Silicon ValleyIf you hire, lead, or negotiate in tech, this one’s a masterclass on advocating for yourself and others without leaving value on the table.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

This week we’re sharing a live workshop we hosted with Marianne Bekker (Managing Partner, Founders Bay) on how founders can negotiate across every phase of the startup journey, from co-founder splits to investor terms, design partners, vendors, and early hires. Gerta walks through a practical framework for keeping leverage, avoiding common traps (like giving numbers/ranges), and aligning deals to the right priorities rather than the loudest ones.Our presentation covers:The founder negotiation map: co-founders, investors, early employees/contractors, advisors, vendors, design partners, customers, and M&AHow to preserve leverage (and why you should almost never give numbers or ranges)- Crafting your priority stack (price now vs. lifetime value, brand/reputation, referrals, timelines) and marking true non-negotiablesDesign-partner dynamics: avoiding excessive customization and setting scope, time, and compensationVendor contracts 101: price, scope, timelines, royalties, exclusivity, and when to push vs. tradeInvestor terms beyond valuation: board seats, control, and post-deal involvementIn-person moments: why you shouldn’t negotiate on the spot (and what to do instead)A founder’s job is nonstop negotiation, and this workshop gives you the scripts, structure, and judgment to secure better terms without burning bridges.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

David Carvalho, an entrepreneur and veteran DJ behind SF Vibe, shares his incredible journey from local bars to major events like Dreamforce and Coachella. He discusses negotiation tactics, emphasizing the importance of understanding partner priorities before pricing and using contracts wisely. David shares a wild story of salvaging a robot combat event after a partner pulled out, and how he handles extreme artist fee requests. With insights on building relationships over cold outreach, he highlights integrity and strategic gig choices to foster a successful career.

We often get asked, "What does a negotiation service look like?" In this video, we go into detail on exactly what our clients experience when they work with us to negotiate their compensation.If you're in the job search or expecting upcoming negotiations, book a free call with us to get free negotiation tips for your situation and to explore if we're a good fit to work together! Find a time here: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call

In this episode, we unpack the exact words and phrases that quietly tank negotiations, and what to say instead. A recent study conducted by Neil Rackham shows skilled negotiators use far fewer “irritator words” like “fair,” “reasonable,” and “generous,” because those labels backfire.We cover:The “irritator words” to avoid based on the study (“fair offer,” “reasonable,” “generous”) and simple, better substitutesIrritator words that we have observed from our experience and what to say insteadA kinder, stronger deflection than “I’m not comfortable sharing that” (for salary questions, competing offers, etc.)How to ask for details or a written summary without sounding distrustful (skip “can you put that in writing?”)When to hold your line without giving numbers or ranges, and still preserve rapportA quick behavioral nudge you can use (the “because” effect) without being manipulativeWe also share:Gerta’s negotiation training roots (MIT/Harvard) and why behavioral science runs our playbookThe odd “eyes on the coffee jar” study and what it teaches about human behaviorTune in to learn the subtle wording tweaks that protect your leverage, keep rapport intact, and help you land better outcomes without sounding adversarial.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we tested AI against some of our most common negotiation questions to find out where it helps, and where it confidently steers you wrong. On paper it looked helpful, but the devil was in the details; the results were a mix of good reminders and dangerously misleading shortcuts. We covered topics like:Why “market data” (Glassdoor, Levels, Blind) rarely moves real offers, and what to use insteadHow to ask for a written offer the right way (and why a signable letter beats a summary email)Better scripts than “Is this negotiable?” (and why you shouldn’t give numbers or ranges)Reading “best and final,” when to keep pushing, and when to stop without burning bridgesWe also share stories including:A world-class MBA who nearly blew an offer while being enrolled in a negotiations courseThe exec candidate who cited market data and was told, “Even our C-suite doesn’t make that”How big companies quietly changed their offer tactics and how we adaptedA quirky-but-real priority a client negotiated (and why we re-ordered her asks)Tune in to see us run a live test on an AI model’s negotiation advice, what it gets right, what it misses, and how to protect your offer when the stakes are high.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we cover:A real-life example of an offer letter from a major company that seemed to grant $50K/year in equity, but turned out to be far lessSimple ways to ask for clarity without sounding combativeWhy assuming best intent helps you keep leverage and relationships intactWe also share:A Burning Man story that raised the question: do we negotiate with friends?The classic “splitting an orange” example that shows how creative problem-solving beats compromiseTune in for practical strategies to catch misleading phrasing and protect your compensation.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex