Gentle Power

In this episode, we unpack the exact words and phrases that quietly tank negotiations, and what to say instead. A recent study conducted by Neil Rackham shows skilled negotiators use far fewer “irritator words” like “fair,” “reasonable,” and “generous,” because those labels backfire.We cover:The “irritator words” to avoid based on the study (“fair offer,” “reasonable,” “generous”) and simple, better substitutesIrritator words that we have observed from our experience and what to say insteadA kinder, stronger deflection than “I’m not comfortable sharing that” (for salary questions, competing offers, etc.)How to ask for details or a written summary without sounding distrustful (skip “can you put that in writing?”)When to hold your line without giving numbers or ranges, and still preserve rapportA quick behavioral nudge you can use (the “because” effect) without being manipulativeWe also share:Gerta’s negotiation training roots (MIT/Harvard) and why behavioral science runs our playbookThe odd “eyes on the coffee jar” study and what it teaches about human behaviorTune in to learn the subtle wording tweaks that protect your leverage, keep rapport intact, and help you land better outcomes without sounding adversarial.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we tested AI against some of our most common negotiation questions to find out where it helps, and where it confidently steers you wrong. On paper it looked helpful, but the devil was in the details; the results were a mix of good reminders and dangerously misleading shortcuts. We covered topics like:Why “market data” (Glassdoor, Levels, Blind) rarely moves real offers, and what to use insteadHow to ask for a written offer the right way (and why a signable letter beats a summary email)Better scripts than “Is this negotiable?” (and why you shouldn’t give numbers or ranges)Reading “best and final,” when to keep pushing, and when to stop without burning bridgesWe also share stories including:A world-class MBA who nearly blew an offer while being enrolled in a negotiations courseThe exec candidate who cited market data and was told, “Even our C-suite doesn’t make that”How big companies quietly changed their offer tactics and how we adaptedA quirky-but-real priority a client negotiated (and why we re-ordered her asks)Tune in to see us run a live test on an AI model’s negotiation advice, what it gets right, what it misses, and how to protect your offer when the stakes are high.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we cover:A real-life example of an offer letter from a major company that seemed to grant $50K/year in equity, but turned out to be far lessSimple ways to ask for clarity without sounding combativeWhy assuming best intent helps you keep leverage and relationships intactWe also share:A Burning Man story that raised the question: do we negotiate with friends?The classic “splitting an orange” example that shows how creative problem-solving beats compromiseTune in for practical strategies to catch misleading phrasing and protect your compensation.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we cover:Why even world-class professionals with top MBAs and deal-making experience can still mishandle their own salary negotiationsThe stigma around hiring a coach, and how it’s no different from hiring a trainer, therapist, or MBA consultant to help you level upThe gap between knowing good advice and executing it well when the stakes feel high and context mattersWhy AI is unable to replace a negotiations consultantWe also share:A candid story from a friend who was literally taking a negotiations class while fumbling her own offerHow we tweak strategies to fit the specific recruiter, timing, and leverage in each client’s situation, and why what the other side says often doesn’t mean what you think it doesTune in for a mix of real-world case study and practical insights, so you can see why even seasoned pros benefit from expert support, and avoid leaving money on the table.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

This week, we spoke with Kevin Houng, an HR/people business partner, former employment attorney, and one of Alex’s longest friends, who’s helped launch dozens of venture-backed teams and guided executives through complex compensation decisions.In our conversation, we covered:How companies actually decide budgets for open roles, from scrappy startups to Fortune 500 giantsWhy larger organizations lean on rigid salary bands (and algorithms) while smaller teams often make exceptions for the right candidateThe truth about “we don’t negotiate” policies, and why there’s almost always more room than recruiters admitTactics for spotting your leverage, asking the right discovery questions, and pushing past the fear of rescinded offersWe also share:Kevin’s journey from Columbia Law School attorney to HR leader, guiding both employers and employees through high-stakes conversationsSurprising factors that tip the scales in negotiations, like how long a role has been open, or whether a company is in growth vs. downturn modeWhy being polite and persistent beats being “hard to get”, and the overlooked power of thoughtful follow-up notesTune in for an insider’s view from both sides of the hiring table, plus practical scripts and mindsets to help you negotiate with confidence, secure fair pay, and avoid leaving money on the table.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

For this week’s episode of Gentle Power, we welcome our very first guest: Joe Dillon, founder of Equitable Mediation. Joe has spent nearly two decades helping couples navigate the high-stakes, emotionally-charged negotiations of divorce without lawyers, achieving outcomes that protect both their finances and their future relationships.In our conversation, we explore the surprising overlap between divorce mediation and salary or job offer negotiations, including:Why “don’t decide before discovery” can save your leverageCommon mistakes that derail negotiations, from unrealistic comparisons to letting emotions leadHow to normalize feelings without letting them control the processWhy assuming best intent often leads to better agreementsPractical ways to run a business with your spouse while keeping both the work and the relationship healthyWe also discuss Joe’s path from corporate negotiations to Harvard negotiation training to achieving a 98% mediation settlement rate, and the mindset shifts that keep even tense deals from collapsing.If you’ve ever had to protect your value, bridge a high-emotion gap, or keep a conversation moving toward a win-win, you’ll take away proven tactics to approach any negotiation with clarity, empathy, and ideal outcomes.Learn more about Joe and his work at ⁠EquitableMediation.com⁠For more from Gerta & Alex:Book free consultation call with Alex: ⁠Calendly⁠Get our free negotiation worksheet: ⁠YourNegotiations.com⁠Read our weekly newsletter: ⁠Newsletter⁠Instagram: ⁠@yournegotiations⁠LinkedIn: ⁠Gerta⁠ | ⁠Alex⁠

In this episode, we cover:Five real reasons offers get rescinded (and how to avoid each)Cordial scripts and mindset shifts to push back safely without burning bridgesWe also share:Why one client held onto her “Company A” offer - and how it saved her from a late‑stage fallback at “Company B”The “equity‑info blackout” that led to Company B falling through, and the upfront questions she now asksOur favorite Gentle Power negotiation script to keep your offer intact and relationships strongTune in to master the art of getting the deal you deserve, without risking rescinds or damaged relationships.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this engaging conversation, Gerta Malaj, a negotiation expert trained at MIT and Harvard Law, shares her journey from Albania to becoming a CEO. She emphasizes the importance of shifting from a 'service before self' mentality to advocating for oneself, especially for military veterans transitioning to civilian roles. Gerta reveals key negotiation strategies, such as the power of genuine excitement, the significance of waiting for written offers, and the pitfalls of lying about competing offers. Listeners gain essential insights to optimize their negotiation skills.

Discover how to navigate the tricky waters of service negotiations, ensuring clear communication to avoid surprise costs. Hear personal tales, including a hairstylist adventure that kept unexpected add-ons at bay. Learn tactful scripts for discussing budget without straining relationships. Also, explore heartfelt ways to reconnect with old friends through a simple one-minute meditation exercise, designed to visualize their happiness and reignite meaningful connections. It's a blend of practical advice and mindfulness, perfect for anyone looking to improve their negotiation skills and friendships.

For this week’s episode, we are sharing our recent interview with Lauren McGoodwin from Career Contessa, where we focused on practical tips to improve your next job offer by 5-6 figures. We covered topics and strategies including:Why oversharing destroys your leverage, and how to tactfully deflect “What’s your number?” questionsThe surprising power of genuine enthusiasm in negotiationsHow to ask multiple open-ended questions, embrace strategic silence, and keep the dance goingLetting employers know you’re interviewing elsewhere without giving away your leverageClarifying your true priorities (cash, equity, flexibility) and using non-negotiables to guide every askWe also share behind-the-scenes stories from Gerta’s journey (from Albania to MIT to co-founding YourNegotiations.com) and Alex’s path (Air Force Academy to Instagram product marketing).Join us for a deep dive into the mental game of negotiation - equal parts strategy, psychology, and storytelling - to help you claim the deal you deserve.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex