Gentle Power

In this episode, we’re joined by Mariane Bekker: engineering leader through six exits, former Director of Engineering at Mindbody, and founder of the 80k-member tech community, Founders Bay. Our conversation explores pay and negotiations from the hiring side, how bias actually shows up in offers, and how women (and allies) can ensure fair offers from both sides of the table.We cover:How to avoid anchoring traps that disadvantage women in offersWhy motivation and scope often matter more than “market data”Practical phrases that reframe the conversation without giving up leverageWe also share:Mariane’s path from cold-calling offices with 50 resumes to building a 55% women engineering orgHow asking for a higher title early shaped every step of her careerReal tactics she used as Head of Engineering to redesign hiring systemsThe personal grit behind her negotiation style, from war-torn Lebanon to Silicon ValleyIf you hire, lead, or negotiate in tech, this one’s a masterclass on advocating for yourself and others without leaving value on the table.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

This week we’re sharing a live workshop we hosted with Marianne Bekker (Managing Partner, Founders Bay) on how founders can negotiate across every phase of the startup journey, from co-founder splits to investor terms, design partners, vendors, and early hires. Gerta walks through a practical framework for keeping leverage, avoiding common traps (like giving numbers/ranges), and aligning deals to the right priorities rather than the loudest ones.Our presentation covers:The founder negotiation map: co-founders, investors, early employees/contractors, advisors, vendors, design partners, customers, and M&AHow to preserve leverage (and why you should almost never give numbers or ranges)- Crafting your priority stack (price now vs. lifetime value, brand/reputation, referrals, timelines) and marking true non-negotiablesDesign-partner dynamics: avoiding excessive customization and setting scope, time, and compensationVendor contracts 101: price, scope, timelines, royalties, exclusivity, and when to push vs. tradeInvestor terms beyond valuation: board seats, control, and post-deal involvementIn-person moments: why you shouldn’t negotiate on the spot (and what to do instead)A founder’s job is nonstop negotiation, and this workshop gives you the scripts, structure, and judgment to secure better terms without burning bridges.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

David Carvalho, an entrepreneur and veteran DJ behind SF Vibe, shares his incredible journey from local bars to major events like Dreamforce and Coachella. He discusses negotiation tactics, emphasizing the importance of understanding partner priorities before pricing and using contracts wisely. David shares a wild story of salvaging a robot combat event after a partner pulled out, and how he handles extreme artist fee requests. With insights on building relationships over cold outreach, he highlights integrity and strategic gig choices to foster a successful career.

We often get asked, "What does a negotiation service look like?" In this video, we go into detail on exactly what our clients experience when they work with us to negotiate their compensation.If you're in the job search or expecting upcoming negotiations, book a free call with us to get free negotiation tips for your situation and to explore if we're a good fit to work together! Find a time here: https://calendly.com/alexhapki/call

In this episode, we unpack the exact words and phrases that quietly tank negotiations, and what to say instead. A recent study conducted by Neil Rackham shows skilled negotiators use far fewer “irritator words” like “fair,” “reasonable,” and “generous,” because those labels backfire.We cover:The “irritator words” to avoid based on the study (“fair offer,” “reasonable,” “generous”) and simple, better substitutesIrritator words that we have observed from our experience and what to say insteadA kinder, stronger deflection than “I’m not comfortable sharing that” (for salary questions, competing offers, etc.)How to ask for details or a written summary without sounding distrustful (skip “can you put that in writing?”)When to hold your line without giving numbers or ranges, and still preserve rapportA quick behavioral nudge you can use (the “because” effect) without being manipulativeWe also share:Gerta’s negotiation training roots (MIT/Harvard) and why behavioral science runs our playbookThe odd “eyes on the coffee jar” study and what it teaches about human behaviorTune in to learn the subtle wording tweaks that protect your leverage, keep rapport intact, and help you land better outcomes without sounding adversarial.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we tested AI against some of our most common negotiation questions to find out where it helps, and where it confidently steers you wrong. On paper it looked helpful, but the devil was in the details; the results were a mix of good reminders and dangerously misleading shortcuts. We covered topics like:Why “market data” (Glassdoor, Levels, Blind) rarely moves real offers, and what to use insteadHow to ask for a written offer the right way (and why a signable letter beats a summary email)Better scripts than “Is this negotiable?” (and why you shouldn’t give numbers or ranges)Reading “best and final,” when to keep pushing, and when to stop without burning bridgesWe also share stories including:A world-class MBA who nearly blew an offer while being enrolled in a negotiations courseThe exec candidate who cited market data and was told, “Even our C-suite doesn’t make that”How big companies quietly changed their offer tactics and how we adaptedA quirky-but-real priority a client negotiated (and why we re-ordered her asks)Tune in to see us run a live test on an AI model’s negotiation advice, what it gets right, what it misses, and how to protect your offer when the stakes are high.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we cover:A real-life example of an offer letter from a major company that seemed to grant $50K/year in equity, but turned out to be far lessSimple ways to ask for clarity without sounding combativeWhy assuming best intent helps you keep leverage and relationships intactWe also share:A Burning Man story that raised the question: do we negotiate with friends?The classic “splitting an orange” example that shows how creative problem-solving beats compromiseTune in for practical strategies to catch misleading phrasing and protect your compensation.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

In this episode, we cover:Why even world-class professionals with top MBAs and deal-making experience can still mishandle their own salary negotiationsThe stigma around hiring a coach, and how it’s no different from hiring a trainer, therapist, or MBA consultant to help you level upThe gap between knowing good advice and executing it well when the stakes feel high and context mattersWhy AI is unable to replace a negotiations consultantWe also share:A candid story from a friend who was literally taking a negotiations class while fumbling her own offerHow we tweak strategies to fit the specific recruiter, timing, and leverage in each client’s situation, and why what the other side says often doesn’t mean what you think it doesTune in for a mix of real-world case study and practical insights, so you can see why even seasoned pros benefit from expert support, and avoid leaving money on the table.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

This week, we spoke with Kevin Houng, an HR/people business partner, former employment attorney, and one of Alex’s longest friends, who’s helped launch dozens of venture-backed teams and guided executives through complex compensation decisions.In our conversation, we covered:How companies actually decide budgets for open roles, from scrappy startups to Fortune 500 giantsWhy larger organizations lean on rigid salary bands (and algorithms) while smaller teams often make exceptions for the right candidateThe truth about “we don’t negotiate” policies, and why there’s almost always more room than recruiters admitTactics for spotting your leverage, asking the right discovery questions, and pushing past the fear of rescinded offersWe also share:Kevin’s journey from Columbia Law School attorney to HR leader, guiding both employers and employees through high-stakes conversationsSurprising factors that tip the scales in negotiations, like how long a role has been open, or whether a company is in growth vs. downturn modeWhy being polite and persistent beats being “hard to get”, and the overlooked power of thoughtful follow-up notesTune in for an insider’s view from both sides of the hiring table, plus practical scripts and mindsets to help you negotiate with confidence, secure fair pay, and avoid leaving money on the table.For more:Book free consultation call with Alex: CalendlyGet our free negotiation worksheet: YourNegotiations.comRead our weekly newsletter: NewsletterInstagram: @yournegotiationsLinkedIn: Gerta | Alex

For this week’s episode of Gentle Power, we welcome our very first guest: Joe Dillon, founder of Equitable Mediation. Joe has spent nearly two decades helping couples navigate the high-stakes, emotionally-charged negotiations of divorce without lawyers, achieving outcomes that protect both their finances and their future relationships.In our conversation, we explore the surprising overlap between divorce mediation and salary or job offer negotiations, including:Why “don’t decide before discovery” can save your leverageCommon mistakes that derail negotiations, from unrealistic comparisons to letting emotions leadHow to normalize feelings without letting them control the processWhy assuming best intent often leads to better agreementsPractical ways to run a business with your spouse while keeping both the work and the relationship healthyWe also discuss Joe’s path from corporate negotiations to Harvard negotiation training to achieving a 98% mediation settlement rate, and the mindset shifts that keep even tense deals from collapsing.If you’ve ever had to protect your value, bridge a high-emotion gap, or keep a conversation moving toward a win-win, you’ll take away proven tactics to approach any negotiation with clarity, empathy, and ideal outcomes.Learn more about Joe and his work at ⁠EquitableMediation.com⁠For more from Gerta & Alex:Book free consultation call with Alex: ⁠Calendly⁠Get our free negotiation worksheet: ⁠YourNegotiations.com⁠Read our weekly newsletter: ⁠Newsletter⁠Instagram: ⁠@yournegotiations⁠LinkedIn: ⁠Gerta⁠ | ⁠Alex⁠