Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Jenna Switzer. Jenna is a Holistic Sex Coach who helps you rediscover intimacy, playfulness, and sensuality in long-term relationships. With a unique blend of science, energetic practices, and real-life advice, she makes connection more fun and exciting. Jenna’s approach empowers couples to embrace deeper intimacy and rekindle passion in ways that feel authentic and enjoyable, both in and out of the bedroom. When she’s not supporting her clients, you’ll find her cuddling her Frenchie or chasing her next outdoor adventure. Key points: Introductions and background Cam and Jenna introduce themselves and discuss their backgrounds. Jenna shares that she is a holistic coach focused on integrating all aspects of a person's life, not just intimate moments. Cam emphasizes the importance of curiosity as a foundation for his work. Clients and common themes Jenna explains that many of her clients struggle with a disconnect or shame around their pelvic/genital area, often stemming from trauma or conservative upbringings. Cam shares his dislike of the term "dysfunction" and preference for more nuanced language around experiences. Reframing pleasure and intimacy Cam and Jenna discuss the need to broaden the definition of pleasure beyond just /genital experiences. They emphasize the importance of curiosity, presence, and exploring the whole body rather than just focusing on performance or outcomes. Practical strategies Jenna shares a practice of creating a "non-sexual pleasures" list to help clients become more aware of and intentional about experiencing pleasure in daily life. Cam describes a "pleasure mapping" exercise to help clients explore sensations across their entire body. Closing and resources Jenna shares information about her online community "Behind Closed Doors" and a free downloadable resource on her website called "Simple Pleasures." Cam and Jenna express their shared passion for helping people live more pleasurable lives. Relevant links: Jenna's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenna_switzer/ Jenna's website: https://www.jennaswitzer.com/

From episode #82 with Lana Jade. More from that episode: - Lana shares about her experience in the adult industry - Integrating other modalities - Emotional burnout and compassion fatigue - Mentoring others in the industry - Stigmatization from the Sacred Sexuality community - “Real” women vs adult performers - Only Fans, camming, and authenticity - Male clients, pleasure, and communication - Advice for potential clients

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Matt Musgrave. Matt is the Principal Counsellor & Founder of Strong Space Counselling, an online group counselling practice specialising in supporting the mental health of men and fathers. With nearly a decade of experience in community services, including work as a probation and parole officer and facilitating men’s behavior change programs for those who used violence and coercive control in relationships, Matt brings a wealth of expertise and a unique perspective to his clinical practice. He is IFS (Internal Family Systems) Level 1 trained, feminist-informed, and gender-affirming, offering a deeply compassionate and inclusive approach to counselling. Matt empowers men to lead healthier, more authentic lives by fostering self-awareness and self-compassion as the primary foundations of his therapeutic methodology. Key points: Matt's background and expertise Matt introduces himself as a men's mental health counselor running an online private practice in Australia. He has a background in history, domestic family violence, men's behavior change, probation/parole, and criminology. His main passions are working with men on trauma healing and supporting fathers/new dads. Navigating masculinity in male-dominated environments Matt reflects on the "hyper-masculine" cultures he experienced growing up and in his previous roles, where there was an "absence of alternative" expressions of masculinity. He describes the challenges of questioning and challenging these norms, and how he was often "bullied or pushed back into the box" of traditional stereotypes. Anger as a common emotion for men Matt observes that anger is a very accessible emotion for many of the men he works with, often used as a way to feel "in control" and "empowered" when dealing with hurt or trauma. He emphasizes the importance of creating space for men to fully experience and process their anger, rather than just trying to down-regulate it. Navigating the landscape of men's mental health support Matt shares his perspective on the challenges of advocating for more funding and resources for men's mental health, noting the complexities of comparing it to support for women. He expresses concerns about approaches that perpetuate rigid gender norms, and emphasizes the importance of creating spaces that allow men to explore masculinity in a more open and authentic way. Gendered approaches in therapy Matt explains that he takes a gender-affirming approach when working with men, drawing on his own experiences and training to better empathize with and support the unique challenges men face. He notes the importance of his team also doing their own personal work to show up in a more connected and compassionate way. Relevant links: Matt's Instagram: @strongspacecounselling

From episode #81 with Jazmin Wu. More from that episode: - Jazmin shares about her journey with BDSM - The spectrum of kink - Holding space for submissives - The submissive mentality - Letting go of performance anxiety - Reframing sexual validation - Sexual symbols and rituals - Boundaries, exploration, and safewords - Sub-space and trance states

On this episode, I chat with Ari Tuckman, PsyD. Ari is a psychologist, international presenter, author, and ADHD thought leader. He has given more than 650 presentations and podcast interviews and routinely earns excellent reviews for his ability to make complicated information understandable and useful. He is the author of four books, including his most recent, “ADHD After Dark: Better Sex Life, Better Relationship”, "Understand Your Brain, Get More Done”, “More Attention, Less Deficit” and “Integrative Treatment for Adult ADHD”. He is a co-chair of CHADD’s conference committee and was awarded the 2023 Hall of Fame award for his significant contributions to the field. He is in private practice in West Chester, PA. Key points Ari's background and focus on ADHD in relationships Ari Tuckman is a psychologist who has specialized in ADHD, particularly in adults, for over 25 years. He has become increasingly interested in the impact of ADHD on relationships and couples, as he felt this was an important but under-discussed aspect of the condition. Prevalence and diagnosis of ADHD Ari discusses the prevalence of ADHD, noting that it affects around 4-5% of adults. He explains that ADHD is often underdiagnosed in adults, as clinicians tend to focus more on identifying it in children. Ari also notes that there can be a "two-for-one" diagnosis, where a child's ADHD diagnosis leads a parent to realize they also have the condition. Differences in ADHD symptoms between genders Ari explains that the core ADHD symptoms are similar across genders, but the way ADHD manifests can differ due to societal expectations and gender roles. Women and girls may be more inclined to try to hide or compensate for their ADHD symptoms, while boys and men may have more "permission" to be openly disruptive. Levels of ADHD severity and associated factors Ari discusses how ADHD can vary in severity, and how other factors like anxiety, depression, substance use, and personal strengths/protective factors can impact the experience of ADHD. He notes that ADHD is not a one-size-fits-all condition. ADHD and occupational/recreational interests Ari shares that while there are some common occupational and recreational interests associated with ADHD (like sales), people with ADHD can thrive in a wide variety of fields if they find work that engages their interests and strengths. ADHD and intimacy Ari explains how ADHD can impact intimacy and , such as difficulty transitioning into a mindset or getting distracted during intimate moments. He emphasizes the importance of being intentional, flexible, and focused on the process rather than performance. Strategies for managing ADHD in relationships Ari provides several recommendations for partners of those with ADHD, including educating themselves on the condition, being intentional about scheduling and communication, and focusing on the positives and complementary strengths in the relationship rather than just the challenges. Recap and closing thoughts Ari and Cam conclude the discussion by emphasizing the importance of flexibility, creativity, and appreciating the unique strengths each partner brings to the relationship, even when there are significant differences like ADHD. Relevant links: Ari's website: ⁠https://adultadhdbook.com/speaking/⁠

From episode #80 with Brad Gage. More from that episode: - Brad shares about his upbringing - How do media images of men affect our lives? - Toxic vs positive masculinity - Stereotypical portrayals of men - Representations that challenge stereotypes - Critically thinking about media - The importance of diverse representation

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Melissa Hadley Barrett. Melissa is a Nurse Practitioner and Sexologist from Western Australia with over 20 years of experience. She is the Principal, Director and lead clinician of Restoring Men’s Intimate Health (RMIH) Pty and Restorative Sexual Health Clinic (RSHC) Pty Ltd. Melissa is an advocate for sexual health and regularly engages in public speaking and education regarding sexual health, particularly prostate cancer for both health professions and community members. Melissa has co-founded the Penis Project Podcast, which shares real-life stories to support learning and offer support, gaining a worldwide audience. Key points: Melissa's background and expertise Melissa introduced herself as a nurse practitioner and sexologist who runs the Restorative Health Clinic. She specializes in helping couples and men navigate intimacy, relationships, and sexual function, taking a holistic approach that addresses both the physical and psychological aspects. Treating dysfunction in cancer patients Melissa explained that about two-thirds of her clients are prostate or bladder cancer patients, as the treatments for these cancers can significantly impact sexual function. She described how the nerves that control erections can be damaged, leading to issues like erectile dysfunction and Peyronie's disease. Melissa emphasized the importance of rehabilitation to maintain penile health and function during this recovery period. Overcoming stigma and shame around sexual health Melissa discussed how many cancer patients feel guilty or ashamed about wanting to maintain their sex life, believing they should just be grateful to be alive. She works to reframe this mindset, emphasizing that quality of life and intimacy are important, and that positive outcomes can come from adversity. Melissa also highlighted the need to involve partners in these conversations to address misconceptions and provide support. Educating healthcare providers Melissa shared how she works to upskill other healthcare providers, like GPs and urologists, to have open conversations about sexual health with their patients. Even if they don't have the expertise to provide comprehensive treatment, she encourages them to at least ask about it and provide referrals to appropriate specialists. Melissa's resources and programs Melissa described the various online programs and resources she offers, including rehabilitation programs for issues like erectile dysfunction, Peyronie's disease, and premature ejaculation. She also highlighted her podcast, The Penis Project, which features real stories from clients about their experiences. Relevant links: Melissa's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/ Melissa's website: https://melissahadleybarrett.com/

From episode #79 with Jordan Hackett. More from that episode: - Jordan shares some of his story - There is nothing wrong with male sexuality - The importance of rites of passage - Unintentional sexual initiations - Elements of initiation ceremonies - Challenges, choice, and agency - Liberation and shame - Tantrikas, Dakinis, and Sex Goddesses - Initiations for young people and societal barriers - Sexual debuts and ongoing exploration

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Katia Schwartz. Katia is a disability and sex worker rights activist, with a career in the sex industry spanning over 16 years. As a profoundly deaf, queer sex worker, Katia navigates unique intersections and is passionate about advocating for the destigmatisation and inclusion of marginalised groups. Episode transcript: CLICK HERE Key points: Introductions and background Katia introduces herself as a deaf, disabled sex worker who lives on Gadigal land in Sydney and does advocacy work for the disabled and sex worker communities. Cam shares that he previously wrote a blog post about the appropriation of sex worker aesthetics, in which he quoted Katia. Katia's experience on SBS Insight Katia describes being approached by the producers of the SBS Insight TV show to appear on an episode about "Convenient Relationships" and transactional relationships. She made her access needs clear, including requiring an Auslan interpreter and accurate closed captions, which the producers agreed to. However, when the episode aired, the captions were poor quality and not synced properly, making it inaccessible for Katia. She tried to resolve the issue with the network but faced dismissive responses. Misconceptions about disability and sex work Katia discusses common misconceptions people have about disabled people and sex workers, including the assumption that disabled people cannot or should not engage in sexual activity. She shares examples of inappropriate questions she's received, like "How do you have sex if you're deaf?" Katia explains how her disability informs and enhances her sex work in positive ways, like her heightened sensory awareness and communication skills. Advice for allies and advocates Katia provides advice for allies and advocates, emphasizing the importance of listening to marginalized voices, being open to feedback, and amplifying the perspectives of those with lived experiences. She encourages people to diversify their social media feeds and be mindful of the representation and narratives they consume. Wrap-up and resources Katia shares how to find and connect with her online, including her Instagram handle and website. Cam thanks Katia for the insightful conversation and the opportunity to learn. Relevant links: Katia's website: www.thegingerdoll.com Katia's Instagram: www.instagram.com/katiaschwartz

From episode #79 with David Chambers. More from that episode: - David shares about his work and passions - Purpose vs passion - Co-creating attraction and intimacy - Overthinking and anxiety - Treating dating like a video game - Invitations vs expectations - British masculinity and being a Black man - Race and the white spirituality community