#250 Play, Presence, and Pleasure: Reclaiming Connection Beyond Performance (with Zari)

Key Points:

Introductions and Zari's background

Zari introduces himself as an artist, illustrator, and traveler who is currently exploring the topic of authentic connection and pleasure. He shares his passion for travel, authentic connections, and finding new ways to cultivate presence and embodied experiences.

Challenges with modern connection and performance

Zari discusses the issues he sees with modern connection and intimacy, including the pressure to perform, the influence of social media and media portrayals, and the tendency to get caught up in playing roles rather than being authentic. He emphasizes the importance of slowing down, being curious, and focusing on the embodied experience rather than external expectations.

Unpacking body image and performance anxiety

Cam shares his observations about the body image and performance anxiety issues he sees in many of the men he works with, including comparing themselves to idealized male physiques on social media and in media, as well as anxiety around size and performance. They discuss how these pressures and scripts can lead men to develop unhealthy habits and get stuck in their heads during intimate experiences.

Suggestions for more playful, embodied intimacy

Zari and Cam discuss practical ways to create more playful, embodied, and pressure-free intimate experiences, such as sensual touch and exploration games, writing down fantasies, and being creative and spontaneous in the moment when things don't go as planned. They emphasize the importance of communication, vulnerability, and a willingness to experiment and learn together.

Zari's upcoming book "Play With Me"

Zari shares details about his upcoming book "Play With Me", which will be a visually-rich, illustrated guide to intimate games and practices. He discusses his goal of creating a movement and community around this work, and invites Cam to support the Kickstarter campaign launching next week.

Relevant Links:

Zari's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/zari.plays/

Zari's Twitter: https://x.com/ZariPlays