Men, Sex & Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast I welcome back a really lovely colleague and friend of mine. Her name is Sarah Martin. You might recall her from episode number 135, where we talked about her research regarding pick up artists. In this episode, we do something a little bit different and discuss a project we've been collaborating on, known as a sexual attitude reassessment (SAR). We talk about the three major assumptions that we see practitioners often make, whether they be sex coaches or therapists or men's work facilitators. So if you're interested in having some beliefs or stereotypes or values about men challenge, this is the episode for you. Key Points: - Sarah reintroduces herself - What is a SAR? - Assumption 1: Men don’t warrant specific consideration as men - Assumption 2: You definitely have unconscious bias when it comes to men - Assumption 3: All the men who are in online communities are basement dwelling, violent misogynists - How to work with men who want to improve their communication skills but choose not to do it - Testimonial from Charles Dubois - The next SAR offering Relevant Links: The Man SAR: https://themansar.com/

Quicky 31 is an excerpt from Season 3, Episode 3: #33 Performing Masculinity: What Does A Man Look Like? (with Nic Warner) On this episode of the #mensexpleasure podcast, I talk with Nic Warner. Nic is a men’s work, plant medicine and breathwork facilitator, and a sacred intimacy mentor. Using the tools that helped him rise out of the ashes, Nic coaches both individuals and couples. Supporting them on their healing journey, to integrate and deepen their relationship with themselves, and each other. Nic and I talk about his experience giving away his power, spiraling into substance abuse, and overcoming his troubles, ultimately transforming his life. We also discuss what it means to look like a man and the fear that many men have about not looking masculine enough.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Dr. Brendan Kwiatkowski. Brendan is a researcher and educator focused on the social-emotional wellbeing of adolescents and understanding the role that gender plays in that equation—particularly masculinity. His PhD research from the University of Edinburgh investigated teenage boys’ experiences and beliefs about being male and compared their experiences based on their levels of emotional expression. He is a mixed-methods researcher and believes very strongly in positive-focused and person-centred research that humanizes and empowers participants, as well in research that is transformative and practically useful for people in the real-world. He is from and lives in Vancouver, BC, has three kids and prior to his PhD was a high school teacher. Key points: Brendan introduces himself Discussion on toxic masculinity and its nuances Critique of the term and deliberate misunderstandings to attack masculinity Responses of teenage boys to masculine pressures Young men and emotional restriction Importance of multiple ways of being a man and role of fathers in shaping masculine identities Creating emotional safe havens for teenage boys and the need for outlets outside romantic relationships Relevant links: Brendan’s website: https://remasculine.com/  Brendan’s Instagram: @re.msculine  Brendan’s TikTok: remasculine

Quicky 30 is from Season 3, Episode 2: #32 Sex Hacking: Confidence and Calibration (with Kenneth Play) Kenneth Play is an international sex expert and sex educator. From a deeply insecure Asian immigrant to over ⁠8 million views on PornHub⁠ and being named ⁠the World’s Greatest Sex Hacker by GQ⁠, Kenneth develops sex techniques to help couples learn new ways to connect and overcome challenges in the bedroom. His newest course features over 70+ videos and 12 hours of content, and was described by AskMen as having ⁠"at least one nugget of sexual learning you’ve almost certainly never encountered before, if not several."⁠ His teaching has been described as a mashup of Bruce Lee’s mixed martial arts approach and Tim Ferriss’s 80/20 rule. He worked with Dr. Zhana Vrangalova to conduct the ⁠world's largest survey on squirting⁠; with Pamela Madsen at the Back to the Body Sensual Retreats for Women; and has been a featured presenter at New York University and San Jose State University. He has devoted his life to empowering couples to close the orgasm gap and experience the best sex of their lives.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Ahmad Jooma. Ahmad is the creator of SHOOK MAN®, a character who represents our fears, anxieties and is an engaging way for young men to talk about their mental health. Ahmad understands men who feel powerless in life - He used to be that guy! For 10+ years Ahmad studied the best courses on human nature. He has coached 100+ people around the world and produced podcasts, events and courses. Key points: Amhad introduces himself Creating "SHOOK MAN" to make fear visible "SHOOK MAN" as a tool to detach from fears and anxieties Recognizing fear as a self-defense mechanism and giving it a job to overcome it Prevalence of anxiety and fear in society, pulling people out of the present moment Importance of being free in the mind and living in the moment Impact of consumerism on society, preying on fears and desires Relevant links: Ahmad’s Instagram: @ahmad.jooma Ahmad’s website: https://www.shookman.com/ 

Quicky #29 comes from Season 3, Episode 1: #31 From Surface Level Sex to Deep Intimacy (with Lorin Krenn) On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Lorin Krenn, a Deep Intimacy coach and Writer. Lorin helps men and women all over the globe understand masculine/feminine dynamics in their intimate relationships to experience deep intimacy through 1-on-1 coaching, workshops and masterclasses, and social media appearances. He has some Deep Intimacy virtual masterclasses coming up specifically for his Australian and Asia-Pacific community as well as for his community from the United States, Canada and Europe. Links for these masterclasses are in the show notes.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Aubrey Aurora. Aubrey is an Erotic Ritualist and event curator based in British Columbia. She has spent the better half of a decade creating luxury erotic experiences and initiations for people from all walks of life. With a gift of deep attention to ambience and atmosphere, her work is often described as a portal into the depths of your most sensual fantasies. The two of us talk at length about what an erotic ritual looks like as well as discuss the themes of theatre and fetish in BDSM and sacred sexuality containers.  Key points: Aubrey introduces herself Theatre and the spectacle of ritual Elements of erotic ritual Sacred Sexuality and BDSM Spirituality fetishism Being initiated into your eroticism Relevant links: Aubrey’s Instagram: @aubreyyaurora Aubrey’s website: aubreyaurora.com

Quicky #28 is from Season 2, Episode 14: #30 Sacred Masculinity for Modern Men (with Brenden Durell) Today, I chat with Brenden Durell. Brenden is a former professional athlete turned life aficionado. He nudges people with laughter and inspiration so they can understand nirvana and live in every moment. Brenden also plays the game of life by being a Cacao & Breathwork Ceremonialist. He’s also a dedicated White Tantra student. His motto is “peace is the ultimate pleasure.” Brenden resides comfortably in his home, wishing he had a dog. The two of us spoke about the difference between masculine Men’s Work and feminine Men’s Work as well as how masculinity is linked to sexuality and what we can do as men to express but also regulate our emotions.

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I chat with Michelle Roberton. Michelle has shared her work with many, for 20 years, specialising in Sexual Trauma & Intimacy as a Tantric educator, body worker and counsellor for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse Her passion stems from her own journey of discovering the medicine in the poison as she set it upon herself to reclaim her body, her breath, her sexuality and sensuality and express that in new, life enriching ways. Michelle very much believes that our mind can only take us so far into any release of body trauma and healing of our sexuality. The discovery of who we authentically are is not hidden in our thoughts but in the sensuality and home of our body. Her touch has been described by many as her gift to others. Her gentle, authentically honest & calming approach, a comforting breath of fresh air. Michelle lives in the colourful, vibrant city of Brighton with her four superstar children. Key points: Michelle introduces herself What is Tantric bodywork? How trauma manifests in the body Individual and universal experiences Working with tension and disconnection Facilitating pleasure Relevant links: Michelle’s Instagram: @michellekroberton Michelle’s website: https://sacredtantrictouch.com/

Quicky #27 comes from Season 2, Episode 13: #29 Imposter Syndrome and Perfomance Anxiety (with Stevon Lewis) On this episode of #mensexpleasure, I talk with Stevon Lewis. Stevon is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, speaker, and corporate consultant. In his private practice, he specializes in working with adults struggling with Impostor Syndrome. He has been a featured expert for various major television and media platforms, including the Oprah Winfrey Network, Bustle Magazine, Thrive Global, and Entrepreneur Magazine. As a corporate consultant, he has facilitated discussions about race in the workplace for the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network (PanCAN) and Tory Burch. In addition, he has hosted a series of workshops for A New Direction, a London-based non-profit, that provides support and development to individuals that are underrepresented in the creative and digital industries. Stevon and I discuss Impostor Syndrome as it relates to masculinity and “being a man” as well as connecting it to performance anxiety and transitioning into fatherhood.