Emsolation

Okay to start things off we’ve got a new obsession...but it’s a double edged sword, so it’s basically got this beautifully decorated handle, but the blade is a bit tarnished and kinda problematic. It’s called ‘Indian Matchmaking’ and it’s the latest go to obsession for Em and Michael on Netflix. They love it, but there’s quite a few issues surrounding it as well, like how they go about arranging the marriages, which has left them feeling a bit yuck about it too. Then it's on to the rise of the term “Karen” and how that name has suddenly become the label of choice for women who engage in public meltdowns, like the lady at Bunnings we all witnessed on social media across the weekend (who also casually swung by Australia Post to unleash more of her anti mask wearing attitude to the poor staff there as well). It’s left Em and Michael asking if there is a male equivalent for guys who engage in that type of behaviour, and if not, then there probably should be. Finally it’s on to the mood capturing vibe of Taylor Swift’s new album ‘Folklore’. Having consumed all of it’s audio treats, we’re left feeling that Tay Tay has really grown up and is now fully embracing the woman she is, but we’re also totally here for her balancing that zen like vibe by just slipping in a Kanye/Kim diss track as well. So plug your headphones in, or airplay the shiz out of it on the biggest speakers in your house, and enjoy another bountiful episode of Emsolation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lockdown means most of us have access to your own fridge and pantry all the livelong day, so it's feasible that you could easily sit down in front of it and inhale all of the things whilst gently sobbing about the situation we are currently in, or maybe you’re just double checking the light is still working inside. Regardless, the worst thing you can do right now is step on a set of scales and check your body weight...which is where we find Em right now. It was a disaster, so that’s where we start things in this episode, then Michael returns to help Em work through the uproar about A-list celebrities being allowed to quarantine in their mansions, rather than in a budget hotel. Prepare yourself for a very surprising and very strong opinion from Em on that information, then we’ll dive straight into Em bingeing even more Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Seems you can clean a bathroom and consume an unsettling amount of reality TV drama in 5 hours. Michael has also finally wrapped up filming on the set of Five Bedrooms, it got down to the wire, but they managed to get it all in the can before lockdown returned. At the moment TV commercials are enough to reduce Em to tears, so TV isn’t a safe space anymore, and we’re also convinced that the Russians are monitoring our text messages, so if Em or Michael go missing, look to the Russians. Aside from that, everything is peachy, so shut the fridge door and get your listen on at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hot on the heels of our extra special, tear soaked, kilt wearing, codpiece filled, Masterchef mini-pod, we’re back to give you our take on last night's finale between Emelia and Laura. It was a lady lead cook off on an epic scale and having Jock flaunting his knees in high socks and a kilt, just helped to turn the heat up for Em and Michael. That’s not the only eye candy we plan on covering off either, who knew there was so much sauciness to be had from witnessing Hollywood actor and Superman star Henry Cavill just casually building a PC in a singlet. Honestly watching him delicately insert parts, into other equally delicate parts, using his big manly fingers, whilst rocking an iso-beard and showing off the occasional chunky bicep, or that butt of his that just won’t quit, was the gift none of us knew we needed. There’s also time to get around the news of Princess Beatrice’s recent secret Royal wedding. As you’d expect, Em’s interest level and care factor was probably sitting at about 10, Michael’s...not so much. Obviously some of this podcast needed to be recorded after the Masterchef winners had been announced, so expect a different level of intoxication within and maybe a smidge more ‘motional moments from both Em and Michael. Oh and if you HAVEN’T witnessed Henry Cavill getting sexy with those aforementioned computer parts, need we say more? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Em and Michael discuss Reynold’s emotional exit from The Masterchef kitchen and THAT photo. Hint: It involves a kilt. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Em chats with author, presenter and political commentator Jamila Rizvi. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In ye olde days, conspiracy theories were usually only encountered when a relative or friend had one too many cordials at a gathering and decided to open a can of “what the hell are they talking about?” for anyone that would listen. Once the internet and mass media arrived, the truth became totes boring, and conspiracy theories were suddenly where it was at. Some people are mad for them, diving head-first into the drama and lapping it up, whilst others are a little more cautious and likely to poo poo them entirely. So when Em, and her bestie Michael, sat down to do a conspiracy theory deep dive, who do you think was all about them, and who do you think was a little harder to convince? If you picked Em for the perfectly executed Greg Louganis style dive into conspiracy theory waters, while Michael looks away in horror from the side of the Olympic sized Conspiracy pool, then you were a hungie percent on point. Em woke up to a claim that Britney’s eyelashes had been styled in a recent photo to say the words ‘call...or fax (we can’t work out which one it was) 911’, which obviously ushered in a huge chat about the #FreeBritney movement. That then opened the door for some of Em’s more wilder conspiracy theories, which has always kind of scared Michael, because Em is an easy convince for almost all of them. We touch on Callum leaving the Masterchef kitchen and how sad we were to see the gentle giant depart. Our hot tip is Emelia for the win, but we did see, love and appreciate Laura’s mid season makeover. So for that and probs about 90 percent conspiracy theory content, ranging from man on the moon, to is Solange Beyonce’s daughter, please get this episode in your ears at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay, so you remember that podcast we did earlier (for those who like to check the receipts, it was Episode Number 21) where it was all about getting your eye holes in front of Netflix’s saucy little Polish/Italian kidnap thriller called “365 Days/DNI”? Remember how it was froth out central, and how we couldn’t get enough of that long tall drink of “YES THE HELL PLEASE” called Massimo Torricelli? Well he sent a personal message to Em. You read that right. MASSIMO. TORRICELLI. SENT. EMELIA. A. PERSONAL. MESSAGE. That is hungie percent an actual fact. However, Em knew nothing about it and Michael decided to sit on this information until they had spent roughly forty minutes being responsible podcast broadcasters. There they were doing a deep dive into the world of cancel culture, trying to thoughtfully deconstruct it...as you do. Then they touched on the departure of Reece from Masterchef and how the soul of the show now feels like it has left the building. They also talked about Jock’s worry beads...his worry beads for crying out loud. Through all of that, Michael just casually sat there, holding out on this huge reveal until Em was basically ready to usher him out of there with a cheery bye bye, and THAT is when he decided to deliver his sexy bombshell. To say Em lost her mind is an understatement. In fact, why are you even here still reading this? Please assume the position that best suits you for maximum podcast enjoyment and have at it NOW See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

To celebrate a milestone half a million downloads of Emsolation, Em & Michael are together answering YOUR questions in this special bonus episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thanks to rising Covid-19 cases in the state of Victoria, we’ve suddenly taken on the role of that kid in the playground with the gigantic snot bubble that expands and contracts on every breath, and all the other states are playing the kids that are doing everything they can to get the hell out of our way. So whilst it's exhausting to endure another six weeks of lockdown, it’s a short term pain, for a long term gain. Hence Operation Distraction is underway, with Em deciding to pass the time by consuming as much really trashy Reality TV as possible. In her search for something really removed from her own life, she picked the very first season of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ as a starting point, and now she’s fully obsessed with Lisa Vanderpump. She’s also become obsessed with a show called ‘Say I Do’ which is like ‘Queer Eye’ for surprise weddings, it’s fully like someone read Em’s dream diary and turned it into a TV show. She totally ugly cried through the first two episodes, but it’s also working in distracting her from what’s going on. Michael returns to give us the rundown on how they’re desperately trying to finish the filming of his TV show ‘Five Bedrooms’. Em reveals she’s had to stop her 18 year old from going away with her friends because of the lockdown and of course there’s the wonderful weirdness that is Britney’s new brand of beach yoga and how they’re totally down for it. There’s also an update on the results of Em’s vaginal probe, and Michael drops a mini bombshell by revealing he had an MRI, and didn’t even tell Em about it. Plus Scott returns to help out listener Meg, who wanted to know how not to let her work define her, as she searches for a better balance in her life. So if you’re ready to lean into Distraction Town, get your headphones on, find a comfy spot, and hit play on this episode as soon as you possibly can. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Okay so imagine you’re trying to record a podcast whilst ALSO wrangling an 18 month old, having a broken heart because Poh was eliminated from Masterchef, you’re also unsure if you really wanna talk about a controversial former fish and chip shop owner spreading more lies and hate, PLUS you’ve also gotta go and get all your lady bits checked once you’re done, and all you can think of is all that nasty probing awaiting you. So the recording of this episode of Emsolation has left Em slightly frazzled and worried that “the intro is a shemozzle” but hey, she had to leave it there to go to the doctors, so we figure you’ll understand. Em’s heartbreak over Poh leaving Masterchef is shared with Michael, so they’ll work through that together. Then it’s onto Em revealing she actually likes Andy as a person, but she’s basically treating him like we treat an AFL footy umpire when it comes to her critiques of him. Understandably Em is all about people discovering new ways to express themselves, so she’s completely at peace with Andy’s fashion choices, however, his choice to team linen culottes with a rather obvious lack of socks, does require discussion. There’s also an in depth conversation about the backlash and problems around loving a musical that has rather problematic references and omissions like Hamilton. Em and Michael are big fans of Hamilton, but they’re also worried about how cancel culture doesn’t allow for nuanced discussion and feel that it’s okay to love something like Hamilton, as long as you’re willing to acknowledge it does make mistakes, and the history it is reflecting, is complicated and deserves further discussion. Something that requires a little less focus and discussion is checking in on Britney, hence why they only devote 30 seconds to that, as for Kanye West announcing he’s going to run for President of the United States in 2020, that might take a smidge longer. We can also report that there is zero jizz chat in this episode, so that’s either a win, or a hideous oversight, you can decide for yourself whilst pumping all of the above into your ear holes at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices