Emsolation

It’s the one thing we’ve probably all been desperate to obtain, so it’s hardly surprising that Em and Michael are feeling it too, hence they’ve decided that this episode of Emsolation will be a Trump free zone. They just need a break from the toxic Cheeto wizard right now, and we’re pretty sure that no one, aside from Donald himself, is about to disagree with that decision. Instead they’ll focus more on the lighter stuff, like two shows they really love at the moment. For instance, there’s a famous podcast that’s just been turned into a documentary series on Netflix, it’s called ‘Song Exploder’ and it’s basically where musicians take apart their songs, and piece by piece, tell the story of how they were made. The debut series follows artists like Michael Stipe from R.E.M., Alicia Keys, Ty Dolla $ign and Lin-Manual Miranda, the creator of the hugely successful musical ‘Hamilton’, all revealing the process of how they created one of their greatest songs. Obviously Em and Michael absolutely LOVED it and they both cried their way through it as well. They then talk about Rihanna and her recent lingerie show for her Savage X Fenty - Volume 2 range. Em got emotional because she felt finally represented, there were real women doing the modelling, you could see their actual skin properly, with the lighting showing off the beauty of their stretch marks, the cellulite, their tan lines, just all of the things that normal people have, that the beauty industry tries to make us believe doesn’t exist. So again they absolutely loved it, and they’re both really feeling how Rihanna has morphed into this cool creative overlord now. So prepare for a delightful traipse through a podcast episode devoted to a bit of escapism and filled to the brim with delightful things for our ears and eyes, Em and Michael loved it, and we’re pretty sure you will too. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

First up we talk about Chrissy Teigen announcing the devastating loss of her son Jack and Em’s decision to speak about it on The Project. It’s not something Em originally wanted to talk about, but she also realised that she has made a commitment to talk about pregnancy loss in the hope it helps to remove the stigma and encourages other women to share their experiences with each other. Then it’s on to Trump and his positive test for Covid, as Em and Michael were recording this episode they actually got the news that he’d been released from hospital, so huzzah for some actual breaking news while in record mode for a podcast. They also cover off the doctors giving a different diagnosis to the White House, Michael is convinced that they also edited footage of Trump coughing out of the official videos he released, plus there’s the photo of Trump signing a piece of paper, which lead to questions around whether the paper he was signing was blank or not. There’s also time to talk about the documentary ‘Class Action Park’ that Michael has been watching. It’s about a really shonky amusement park in the 80’s that became famous for unsafe rides, underage and under trained employees, and alcohol consumption on premises, which naturally combined to result in a bunch of deaths. Anyway that blatant disregard for safety helped usher in a bunch of reminiscing about how shonky 80’s parenting actually was. Sure we had a lot of fun and it was a great decade, but it was also the only decade where you could truly be a negligent parent and actually get away with it. How so many of us actually survived that decade, probably needs to be researched and talked about on a deeper level, but for now we’ll just dip our toes in the memories of how hectic our childhoods were and share a few laughs about it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This weeks Dilemma involves Janey, her soon to be turning 14 year old daughter and the Colonel. Janey is a theme queen - her daughter, not so much and when you're stuck in the Melbourne covid lockdown, there's a limit to the party planning you can do. Or is there? Can Em and Michael find an answer? And what's the Colonel got to do with it? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After revealing her traumatising school swim carnival experience in our previous episode, Em opens this episode by issuing a challenge for everyone listening to pass on their embarrassing puberty stories to the children in their life, in an effort to help normalize that experience and lessen the shame that surrounds young bodies as they’re changing. For instance, when the writer of this podcast description was a developing teenager, he chose to attack all the new furry growth on my pants region with my father's dry razor, and then show my younger brothers so they wouldn’t harass me about having hair down there. In hindsight that probably wasn’t a great idea, it opened me up to even more ridicule from my brothers, who also told their friends, plus the experience of having an itch down there from shaving rash when you’re 13, isn’t a fun ride either. Lesson learnt, and perhaps if my parents had helped normalise the changes my body was experiencing, I wouldn’t have introduced myself to manscaping so early. So Em is encouraging you to share those times when your body went rogue as a kid, but also keep it age appropriate, there’s no point freaking them out too early. Michael returns to help Em talk through the steaming shit pile that was the US Presidential debate, Em is willing to declare a winner, Michael does no such thing. Then it’s on to JK Rowling and her transphobic comments and how much that has been affecting people who love the Harry Potter books. Em has recently been grappling with that problem because her youngest daughter Odette is right into Harry Potter at the moment, which raises the question about whether you can separate the artist from their art. To wrap things up, Em and Michael are  basically trying to start a movement by urging Dan Andrews to give himself a break, they think it’s time to issue him with a #DayOffDan. So if you’re ready to get on board with that idea, and everything else we’ve flagged above, assume your favourite listening position and enjoy See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I know reality TV has ruined the word ‘journey’ for each and every one of us, so in approaching the writing of the description for this episode, I went searching for another word that would help describe the odyssey (that’s the first one, more to come hehe) you’re about to launch into. We begin this episode with all all the ouchy wah wah info on Em and her sore ankle, she had to be cut from her huffy puffy workout wear and it’s ruined her new running schedule, but also, she’s confined to the couch, so maybe her ankles did this deliberately. Anyway once that’s done, it’s onto all the stuff that’s been going on with Victoria’s Labor Party, which includes Jenny Mikakos leaving, Dan easing restrictions for Victorians and Em and Michael admitting that they don’t really care who’s responsible, they basically just want them to get on with it. There’s also time to delve into what’s going on in the US with Donald Trump’s tax return and his choice for the new Supreme Court Judge to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Then our aural expedition (another word for journey) heads off into painful story town, this one is actually inspired by Em’s latest binge watching obsession of the new series on Stan called ‘Pen15’. It’s a comedic story about middle school as seen through the eyes of two 7th grade girls dealing with the awkwardness of being a teenager. This TV series has given Em the confidence to reveal a story that she’s been keeping to herself for a VERY long time. It basically involves a tampon and a school sport carnival, so you already get that this expedition, this sojourn, this actual jaunt into Em’s past, has left her describing it as “quite the journey” (sometimes journey truly is the best option, curse you reality TV) anyway there’s twists and turns, Michael almost couldn’t keep listening and wondered if he’d be able to see it through. So maybe you should just make sure you prepare yourself to relive a smidge of high school trauma, but then ultimately, hopefully, you’ll come out the other side feeling better. Good luck everyone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Remember when you used to race to get Dolly magazine the second it came out from the news agency?! First you’d rip the free blue eyeshadow off that was stuck to the cover, briefly pause to have a smell of the new impulse fragrance and then you’d go quickly to the Dolly doctor section! There you’d find questions about nipples, pubes and intimate smells... Well this is kind of the podcast version of that, except not really. Em and Michael are the Dilemma Doctors and they’re here to solve your dilemmas! No dilemma is too big or too small. But maybe let’s keep them petty so we can be funny about it. Enjoy the first instalment of the Dilemma Doctor’s, Em and Michael help a man to figure out how to tell his partner he’s not very good at giving gifts. FUN! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Before we start, you might like to secure your tray tables and tighten your seatbelt because Em has issued a warning that this episode is an emotion charged, passionate discussion filled edition of the podcast and you’re gonna need to strap your shit in. To begin with we discuss Ellen’s apology and it’s a full deep dive, we talk ALL of the things from the backlash and her outfit choice, to the way the audience was shown and what we think will happen next. Then it’s onto Dan Andrews and we also briefly touch on hot Auslan’s pants package, although NO TOUCHING, just a teeny touch of discussion in and around it. Obviously we still wanna remain respectful of his valuable and wonderful work and make sure we don’t cross the lines of decency on someone just doing their job. Em then drops her theory around Dan and how she reckons he will definitely replace Albo as the leader of the Labor Party for Federal Government, Em is also obsessed with his wife Catherine. Then hold your breath for another deep, deep dive as they dissect the brand new Paris Hilton documentary, so that’s all of the things that make this a tighten your straps type of episode. In fact, at the time of writing Em wasn’t even sure what her intro would contain, but she assures us it won’t be too much because everything else recorded with Michael was as hefty as the pants of that guy doing Auslan at the press conference, too much? Probably, but I couldn’t resist the rather obvious comparison, oh and we should also add that Em stood up THREE TIMES during the recording, ya huh she actually stood up three times because she got so overwrought. She also had to apologise to everyone at the end of it AND she woke up her children, it was HECTIC. So clutch your figurative pearls and secure all of the straps and enjoy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It’s reflection time as we begin this podcast, and that doesn’t mean we are looking at ourselves in the mirror, but obviously if we are, then LOOK at how fierce we look. Anyway the type of reflection we’re talking about is the sort that Em needs right now to help inspire her to keep getting out of bed during lockdown. She needs to look for the lessons learnt and the silver linings, it’s just how her brain functions. So we open this podcast with a chat about all the positive things that have come out of being in lockdown, and here’s the hot tip, turns out even Em was pleasantly surprised at how many there actually were. Then Michael joins Em to talk about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, in particular her amazing marriage to her husband Marty, which actually helped Em to reflect on hers, and how Em and Scott figured out how to stop fighting. Turns out it was surprisingly simple when they finally cottoned onto it. Then it’s onto Miley Cyrus saying she faked it with Liam Henderson, Em and Michael are not about that, their national pride reared up and they get super protective over Liam. Speaking of being protective, they’re also having none of bogans thinking they can use John Farnham’s You’re The Voice for their anti-mask rallies. I think Em expressed it well when she sent me the rundown for this description by simply saying “NOT. OKAY., okay?”. Plus there’s also time to cover off how Em got accidentally day drunk on Rosé on Sunday, doesn’t seem very accidental to me but here we are. The full explain is within this podcast, so grab your headphones and have at it like Em attacks a glass of Rosé, with large gulps and lots of satisfying exhales throughout. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We first heard from Liz on the "Live from the Roadside" episode back in May. Liz sent Em and Scotty a message asking for some help when she went for a promotion. Fast forward to this week and Liz has sent in another message, and let's just say, things are looking up. Good on ya Liz!   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Need some advice? In the intro for this episode, Em presents us with the idea of her upcoming advice segment, it’s kind of like that grand tradition of obsessively turning pages to get to the Dolly Doctor section, but without any page turning, or help from whoever the hell Dolly was, or even any Doctors. Basically Em and her bestie Michael are going to take on your dilemmas and offer up a world of thought provoking and thoroughly unique advice. Their speciality is petty stuff, with petty family arguments naturally being their strong suit, so start thinking about what advice you’ve been hankering for and get amongst it, they start doing it from next week. Then it’s onto a documentary update as Em and Michael offer up their latest favourites, with Em choosing something uplifting with ‘My Octopus Teacher’ which is about a burnt out filmmaker who befriends and in a non creepy way kinda falls in love with an octopus and learns some life lessons as a result. Not so uplifting, but equally important, is Michael’s choice of ‘The Social Dilemma’ which is a terrifying deep dive into why social media is basically set up to doom us and usher in the end of the world, thankfully there is some advice on how we can change and avoid that. Then there’s a dick pic wrap up which takes in Chris Evans reaction to his dick pic slip up, and that’s followed up by the story of the ADF Officer who was busted “entertaining” a lady in his hotel room while he’s in quarantine. Obviously Em and Michael don’t condone that sort of behaviour, but they also have to acknowledge that they do love the fact that she’s a 53 year old sassy woman spending quality time with a 26 year old ADF officer. Is this the 365 Days sequel we’ve all been craving, but again, they don’t condone breaches of quarantine, but also again, it’s pretty saucy. So step up to another episode filled with all the kind of eclectic goodness you didn’t even realise your ears were craving.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices