How’s that for a podcast title, we can only hope it’s rolling past your eyes on repeat via the display of your digital radio or Spotify app. We are not sorry, we are actually warning you that this episode has a lot of dick built into its contents. We’ll explain more after Em sorts the introduction, which is where she spontaneously created that title (I did take note of it Em, and obviously totes loving it, it’s also way better than her other suggested option of ‘Dick Chat’) there’s a lot of side quest action in the intro, so can we get a huzzah for that? HUZZAH! First up we need to talk about an article that sent Em into an emotional tailspin, but in true side quest realness we also cover off the continuing obsession with Em being on ‘The Masked Singer’. There’s all the action that goes on within the Emsolation Facebook Group to reflect, which includes some VERY effective photoshopping, plus the news that some believed Em was Baby has been proved wrong after Killing Heidi front woman Ella Hooper revealed herself to be under the baby mask. Anyway, this article is a good chance for all of us to check our own internalised misogyny, after a Mamamia journalist chose to trot out the labels ‘outspoken’ and ‘controversial’ when describing Em. Those two words trigger Em on a number of levels and she is calling for all of us to try and stop using words like ‘outspoken’, ‘controversial’ or ‘opinionated’ to describe women who have thoughts and feelings they want to share publicly. You’ll hear why she finds it tiring as part of the introduction and then we’ll bring Michael back so we can talk dick pics. Michael is understandably shook that this is the FIRST he’s hearing about a dick pic that apparently arrived in Em’s possession 4 DAYS EARLIER! Once that’s been worked through, we get to the meat of the problem. Well actually, we first have to talk about all the hairdo’s being rocked on the Grand Final footy field, because of course we do. Obviously I’m not about to ruin any of the chat about the rogue wang picture turning up in Em’s DM’s, but it was a moral quandary that Em AND her two daughters had to work through together. Somehow that then leads to chat about a Italian hand painted ceramic leopard statue that is charging stupid money in order to own it. Em wanted it so much that she took up gambling in an attempt to secure it so she could add it to her interior decor collection. You’ll find out if she was successful or if her gambling adventure ended in broken dreams that didn’t include ceramic hand painted realness being added to her menagerie within. Look at us with all our hooking and teasing and not revealing what's going on within the podcast in fine details. Then it’s onto something that apparently ISN’T small and shaped like a toadstool. This time around I will reveal that we did say this episode was a bit dick heavy and this is the second reference to peen. Sadly it relates to the news that the first of Trump's former White House staff have begun releasing their tell all books. Yep, we know, vomit, but we promise you’ll also get confirmation that a LOT of what Em and Michael thought Melania might be up to, was actually happening, plus learn some of the nicknames White House staff had for certain members of Trump's family. Finally it's onto the big dick energy (or BDE as it’s more commonly referred to) that seems to ooze from every pore of American rapper, singer and songwriter, Lil Nas X. Em and Michael are huge fans of how he works every angle of his social media profile and how he’s able to build his career and success by delivering one groundbreaking event after another. So dive in face first, we promise you won’t get a slap to the face with anything other than sassy comments and much hilarity, plus there’s exciting news to wrap things up that include the words ‘bonus’ and ‘episode’, squeaaal, I’ll say nothing else, get amongst it all NOW! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

EARTHQUAKE! I mean clearly we gotta start with the earth shaking across Victoria on the morning of us recording this episode (is anyone else singing Martika’s ‘I Feel the Earth Move’ in their heads when earthquake chat comes up? Nope just me. Well I can only hope you do now). As Em will admit, it’s actually nice to think about something besides everything else that’s going on right now. She also thinks it’s Mother Natures way of grabbing Victoria by the shoulders and giving us all a little shake while saying “will you stop being so fucken stupid” in a hushed voice. That leads us into a bit of gritted teeth, low whispering chat, swiftly followed by Em revealing she’s just done an interview about what her gateway podcast was and the joys of doing Emsolation. Obviously that leads onto the dedication and research capabilities of everyone on the Emsolation Facebook Group. It seems a bunch of you have been doing deep dives and research and are utterly CONVINCED Em is working behind a very specific mask on ‘The Masked Singer’. Whilst you won’t get any answers or clues from her, she does have her own theories on who is who, she’s also totally here for you dropping her name ALL over the socials, and if all else fails, at least she now knows who her family should turn to in the event she ever go missing or if she needs help solving a crime. Michael then joins Em so they can walk through where they were when the big shake went down. You’ll get their reactions to it, their favourite twitter responses and also the irony of an earthquake destroying buildings when tradies and the construction industry have been involved in violent protests in Melbourne which has resulted in an enforced shutdown for the construction industry. Michael even reveals how the protest impacted his work PLUS the rescuing of a trapped baby animal, whilst Em had a perfect twitter joke about those protests ripped off by another comedian. Then we gotta get around to talking through Michael’s final episode for his show ‘The Newsreader’ which wrapped up on Sunday night. Obviously Em has changed her mind on her previous demand that the character of Rob be killed off in Season 2. Michael also reveals some amazing behind the scenes improv from filming the series, and how he took stories from his own personal life and put them into the script. It’s a very emosh convo about baring your soul through your art and the pain that can come from that. Then it’s on to all their favourite highlights, and some of the meh moments from the recent Emmy Awards. There’s also a brand new season of Sex Education to process which has brought up a lot of nostalgic high school feels for Em, plus turns out the sex scenes are a hectic experience to view when you’re watching along with your kids, who knew? Everyone probs. Anyway those high school feels usher in two horrendo revelations from Em and Michael about their teenage hookup efforts. We’ve all got those kind of awky teenage memories, so we’re confident you will actually LIVE for both of their stories. So plug in, get your listen on and prepare to be shook, in all the right ways. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are we all ready for a moment of gratitude? Em certainly is, she’s found her moment and she’s not afraid to wallow in it. Doing this podcast is giving her actual life and she will immerse herself up to the neck in that moment of gratitude, regardless of how twee or gross it might sound. This week has delivered us a pop culture bonanza so none of what you’re about to hear will challenge you in any way shape or form, so huzzah for that. To begin with, Em has a list of things to check off with you, we start with her latest viewing habits and the shows she’s loving right now from Metal Masters to The Great Pottery Throwdown. Then we check in on some news about Em’s daughter Odette, who recently found out that she has ADHD, which she is sharing with Odie’s permission of course. Em talks through her feels over the news, how she reacted to it and why she’s so thankful for the diagnosis. Then we welcome the return of Em’s bestie Michael, so they can reflect on the virtual meme-lympics that’s been going down between Em and her daughter Marchella around all the AMAZE pop culture events over the last week. Those moments include the VMA’s, the MET Gala and the Venice Film Festival, plus there’s also some props for Dannii Minogue’s 50 year old skin being all glowy, which ushers in a lovely recollection of two very different music video moments from the 90’s. Then it’s on to reflecting the sassy single mums Megan Fox and Kourtney Kardashian, who are going through a sexual renaissance and rebirth, which clearly comes from getting some good dick. Em is also here for them bringing back the “glamorous rack of lamb look” from the 90’s. Michael feels like all the red carpet looks of late are merging into one and Em isn’t feeling some of the looks or the invitees for the MET Gala this year either. She is however totes down for Rihanna’s After After Party celebrations, especially for it’s 4am start time. We also need to touch in on Nicki Minaj’s refusal to attend the MET Gala because of her cousin's friends swollen nuts, true story, apparently that revelation was enough for Nicki to refuse the MET Gala’s demands that everyone who attends the event having the Covid vaccine. This naturally allows Em to attend another pretend Brett Sutton press conference so she could ask the question we now all need answered. Then we need to talk about Kim Kardashian supposedly turning up to the MET Gala looking like a dementor from Harry Potter. Em isn’t having it, she also doesn’t think it was even her and she also isn’t buying that her and Kanye are broken up either. She also finds time to fully reject any resemblance to Kris Jenner. Finally there’s the news of Britney Spears' engagement announcement to Sam Asghari and her deleting her Instagram page. Em and Michael both have a different take on what’s going on there PLUS they also have a final episode of Michael’s new series ‘The Newsreader’ to discuss. Michael isn’t revealing much, but he does reveal he hasn’t even allowed Em to see the final episode yet. They will also squeeze in a last minute, before we wrap up, oops we nearly forgot chat about Madonna’s bum and her appearance at the MTV VMA’s. So get your best listening ears on and have at it as we tear up a full week of pop culture glitz and glam for your podcasting enjoyment. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is this real life? Are we in the Matrix? Am I actually dreaming? What is sleep? Have we asked all of that already? Clearly we is living in some wild and hectic times and none of us want answers to those questions. Although we probs aren’t in the Matrix, so phew for that one at least. Anyway it's a much looser edition of the podcast this week, for a start both Em and Michael weren’t feeling the visual aspect of the pod, so no videos were filmed during the making of this episode. Em did however do some on camera work during the recording of her intro, so you will get some tele-visual one on one time through our socials, promise. A lot of this podcast is Em and Michael working through the wild and hectic times we’re currently experiencing, which means we need to call attention to the tension, anger and fed up vibes that seem to be hanging around all of the things right now. So we begin with an explain of why they’re both feeling like burnt out husks of humans, which means there’s living in activewear to cover off and also Michael’s lockdown smell to break down and analyse. Em offers up her vibe cleansing tips as a solution to that particular brand of stink, then it’s on to dealing with the energy that we all seem to be sharing right now. It’s like we’re all bored and angry and on edge and it’s starting to feel suffocating, and if one person does anything we perceive to be wrong, it doesn’t seem to even matter the size or the scope of the transgression, if enough people decide it's on, then it is well and truly ON. The nostalgia of last year's lockdown, where we could all join together and watch the numbers go down, has well and truly disappeared. Thankfully both Em and Michael have found a way to feel the anger, but also how to keep it to themselves and not unleash it onto the world wide web. So the Nadia Bartel situation is what we unpack first, it’s created a bajillion feature articles and think pieces for the media, and a heap of consequences for Nadia. Then we move onto Guy Sebastian back peddling on the entertainment industry campaign to encourage people to get the vaccine, created so we can get the live performance industry back up and running. Michael has a take on all the outrage that impresses Em so much that she encourages him to repeat it in a calm, soothing voice, in the hope that it offers up the salve we’re all desperately searching for. After we’ve talked through all of that, we slide into the joys of TV that isn’t reflecting anything to do with Covid, from re-watching Schitt's Creek for the 27th time, to viewing the newest version of Cinderella that combines a bunch of girl boss energy with wall to wall 90’s pop music mashups. Em loved it (James Corden got served some Billy Porter sass which apparently is worth the price of admission), Michael not so much (he needed more Gin), Scott walked out half way through. Finally we need to drop in on Em’s fever pitched online shopping efforts. She’s also crafted and decorated almost every inch of her house and is ready to move into Michael’s space to start force styling him into oblivion too, seems normal. So before you rage tweet or start a Facebook dumpster fire online, maybe take a deep breath or two, plug this podcast into your headphones, and force yourself into nature for a giggle and some low key huffy puffy while you listen, or just consume this while wearing yesterday's clothes on the couch, while you mindlessly push such and such from the back of the fridge into your eating hole. You do you boo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Can you stress craft and decorate your way out of a pandemic? We’re not entirely sure...but Em is currently doing ALL of the crafting and decorating research that she can manage, in a lah lah lah, nothing to see here, not watching the news, not even asking “how are you?” kind of vibe, that naturally comes from extended pandemic lockdowns. Thankfully the arrival of Spring and blossom and wattle blooms and sunshine are helping on the distraction front, there’s also a wedding anniversary for her and Scott to “celebrate” (more on that later) and a toddler who has clearly reached the “you’re not the boss of me” chuck a tanti and usher in meltdown mode, whenever I feel like it part of his development. So with all of that playing out in the background, and a pre-warning that Em is about to get her rant on, we usher in Em’s high school bestie Michael to get things underway. We’re gonna start with some loving for the return of Spring. There's a teeny tiny lockdown mention that immediately gets shutdown so we can focus on the positives, like celebrating the fact that Em and Scott have been married for 14 years, and together for 21 years, which is more than half of Em’s life. There’s some brutally realistic tips and secrets on how to keep a long term relationship alive, which includes words like “puppy dogs and sunshine” plus “you’re a fucken liar” and a wheezy laugh that ends with the word “fuck”. Honestly though, you will actually get some beautiful tips and theories, it’s entirely up to you if you decide to apply them to your relationship. Then it’s onto a topic that has both Micahel, and Em’s daughter Chella, asking “are you sure you really wanna talk about this?”. The topic that’s got both of them on edge is James Corden’s need to insert himself into popular culture moments, that he has no right inserting himself into. Both Em and Michael admit they initially really liked James Corden, and that he’s the kid they would have definitely been friends with in high school, BUT...things have certainly changed in the last few years. They’ll work through the examples of what has helped change their point of view. It’s an extensive list, which reached a peak when he donned a rodent suit and violently thrust his groin at a crowd of commuters trapped at a traffic stop on the streets of LA. Heads up, if you’re a fan of James, you don’t need to offer up your opinions via DM’s or posts tagging Em, she’s sure he’s a nice person, you also don’t have to agree with her, but she has a firm feeling about this and she is gonna have a vent. After that’s sorted we move onto the return of Dilemma Doctors, where Em and Michael offer up their thoughts and feels and try to solve a bunch of dilemmas from Emsolators. This means you’ll get answers on how to allow yourself to reach orgasm, rather than getting too nervous and shutting it down, whether you should keep or sell lockdown purchases that don’t fit, should a teacher still keep going with their career, and even a side quest about how appealing Scotts butt is, plus a bunch of stuff that isn’t really appealing AT ALL. There’s also two appearances of Elio and Scott during the recording, which have peak toddler making a sudden appearance during a BBC News cross energy. The first one really shows off that chuck a tanti vibe we mentioned earlier too. So get ready for a joyous ranti slash tanti filled edition of the only podcast that is feeling, all of the emotions, all of the time, and never really knows which one will be turning up at any moment, so standard operating procedure and job well done, HUZZAH! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are setting shiz on fire peeps, you know, lockdown and all the other things that have been happening lately, all of it is making us wanna pile up all of the things into a corner and set to it with a flamethrower. Obviously nothing is actually being burnt, we is all about it figuratively of course, and we begin the bin fire rundown with a low key ramble from Em covering off all the clusterfluff that's gone down, from her tour being postponed AGAIN, then there’s an explosive period to factor in, a new audio editor on the decks, Em’s need for a Real Housewives of New York support group, an Emsolation merch update, plus a bunch of other stuff we don’t wanna ruin before you get a chance to listen. Once Michael steps in we start with a tour postpone chat and details on why Em is changing the show entirely with new songs, new content and a bunch of other this and that. We promise everything will be confirmed and followed up on, so don’t bother messaging Em about it because she actually can’t deal with any of it right now. Thankfully we have Wiggles stuff to cover off and we all know how much Em is down for all things Wiggle, more so than her 2 year old son is, go figure. There’s a rando Wiggles botox theory that Em needs to air, then it's on to the announcement of a much more inclusive Wiggles lineup, a small diversion to Madge from Neighbours, a Marvel Stan Lee reference and then it’s back to the Wigs (short for the Wiggles) and the full announce of who’s in for the new more inclusive lineup. Things get a little feverish when we get to the fact that one of the new Wigs is a delectable former member of Justice Crew, who just so happens to have his own underwear line, plus there’s the online reaction to the news to work through as well. We then dive into the compare and contrast of Em and Michael’s different lockdown experiences, with Michael barely noticing it, or caring, and Em trying to navigate everything whilst dealing with a playground loving 2 year old who can no longer slide. Thankfully Elio still has his wock throwing into the water to distract him, plus a new obsession with cleaning, probably thanks to him seeing Em adopting a manic lockdown cleaning regimen thanks to her ADHD. Somehow that spins into a chat about teenage boys pleasuring themselves into their socks, yes we did type that, wait until you actually hear it in all it’s podcast glory. Are we turning this into a social video? We certainly used it for the title of the episode, so probs standby for a visual extravaganza you never actually asked for. Finally, we drop in on Em’s online pandemic purchases and how much of a deep dive she actually goes on before she goes anywhere near the “add to shopping cart” section, plus there’s an update on where Michael’s at with all his TV series work right now, with a mini spoiler alert for anyone who hasn’t seen the second season of ‘Five Bedrooms’ as of yet, and we even squeeze in a teensy tiny Benifer/Jenjamin update before we say our exhausted bye byes. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you ready to do some deep breathing? Not the kind you do after some huffy puffy or running to catch your chosen option of public transport...bugger that nonsense. We’re talking about that other kind of nonsense breathing you do, you know, when you’re desperately trying to centre yourself, finding your “moment of zen”, or just trying to keep on smiling and not scream, that kind of breathing. Em will talk you through it, plus she’ll give you the ultimate excuse to keep listening to this pod while you work. Then we’ll offer up a quick rundown on her side hustle of interior decorating, before we get into the bulk of this episode, working our way through the questions Emsolators demanded answers for via the Emsolation podcast Instagram page. Together Em and Michael will cover off heaps of this and that and such and such, but to get things started, we kick off with the Number One question everyone is keen to get an update on, which is, what did Michael think of the reaction he got to the debut screening of his new ABC TV show ‘The Newsreader’ on Sunday night? Obviously it was a HUGE success and it also proved to be an entertaining highlight during a week that delivered some utterly awful news. That’s why we’ve chosen to keep this entire episode light and fun by delivering up answers on everything from the TV shows that defined Em and Michael’s High School experience (where we’ll witness a not so shocking revelation that they both pick the exact same TV show, besties for life right) plus the show that Em’s mum didn’t want her to watch because it gave Em a “bad attitude”. We also find out which show Em would pick to perform at, if she could ONLY choose one between Madonna or John Peter Farnham. Then there’s the question about if Em would ever act as surrogate for Michael and his husband Adrian, and also would Michael want Em to be their surrogate for a baby? They actually get heated and disagree over who’s the hottest Disney Prince and why, we also help an Emsolator with some very tricky in-law dramas and Michael has to give his take on witnessing Em go through all the drama that came from her time doing breakfast radio again. There’s also time for which of the Hogwarts Houses they’d belong to (fun fact, Em has thought about this A LOT) and should you help someone come out before they’re ready to acknowledge it for themselves. Plus there seems to be A LOT of women in their 30’s, who are single, watching time slip by as the pandemic continues, wondering how they will ever meet someone, thankfully Em and Michael have some great advice and experiences to share that will definitely help you if you’re in that sort of headspace right now. Finally there’s answers from Em about when she knew Scott was the one, which offers up a full rundown of how they met and their very first date, so prepare to feel ALL of the emotions and get some healthy distractions from any and everything you might be experiencing right now, you’ve got this and we’ve got you too, hugs beautiful. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How good is a pandemic lockdown? Get absolutely farked...is what we wanna say, and clearly we just did, but at least we didn’t capitalise it to make it REALLY STAND OUT huh. Anyway, this episode finds our fabulous leader finally hitting the virtual pandemic wall. So for this recording of Emsolation, you just need to visualise Em barricaded behind her bedroom door, her two year old Elio trying to get in, some half done home renos underway, a house full of family members can’t escape, plus having had a sneak peek at Michael’s new TV show, Em was also dealing with some things she wasn’t really expecting to feel, or process, whilst watching it. Basically we get a full “I can’t believe I said that all out loud” style introduction to start us off. Then, once Michael arrives, we get down to business by flagging the snitchy text Michael sent to Em, which actually threw Em enough to actually require her to consult her family about it. Michael’s new show ‘The Newsreader’ premieres on the ABC this Sunday, so he’s under pressure and feeling it. Thankfully Em’s got some glorious feedback from her dad Vincie for Michael about the first season of his TV show ‘5 Bedrooms’, but the SMS she sent him after watching the first episode of ‘The Newsreader’, probably needed a lot more context and information. Luckily she manages to give more of that context and information, plus a bunch of love and adulation for it within this episode. It’s safe to say that Em and Michael’s friendship, and their relationship together, has helped inspire the characters A LOT, so there were a lot of feels for Em watching all of that back on screen for the first time. She’s super proud of him and the show he’s created. You’re gonna lap up all the chat around the creation of the show, and some of the inspiration that Michael drew from to help bring it together, which will really help you enjoy the show even more, trust us. Then it’s onto the hectic reaction that came to light around the release of Jock Zonfrillo’s autobiography ‘Last Shot’. There’s the peeing against the wall in a kilt publicity picture, the fact that some of the famous people Jock mentions in the book actually reject his version of events, and even that some are claiming that Jock’s tortured past wasn't nearly as tortured as he claims. Once they navigate all of that, they drop in on the TV shows that they’ve been loving to binge while in lockdown, like ‘Hacks’ which is now showing on Stan. It’s the kind of show both Em and Michael wished they’d written and also stars Jean Smart, one of their favourite actors from a show they devoured as kids in the late 80’s, ‘Designing Women’. Michael also has props for ‘The White Lotus’ a brand new TV series from the guy who created the film ‘School of Rock’, plus Em’s having major feels for ‘Vivo’ the new animated film from Lin-Manuel Miranda who created the musical ‘Hamilton’. So get ready for lots of TV and movie chat, with a side of who the bloody hell would have thought all of that would come out of an autobiography from Jock of Masterchef fame, plus a true celebration of Em and Michael’s friendship and how it keeps inspiring Michael to create wonderful things for us to enjoy on our TV screens. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pretty sure we should start this description by saying that this house is PACKED! Like we are talking a hoarders level of content, crammed into each and every nook and cranny of the episode. Thankfully as you navigate this podcast, you can rest assured that none of it is concealing a long dead pet (that we know of) or at risk of toppling over onto you as you try and squeeze past it. So to begin Em’s got an update on where she’s at with her recent ADHD diagnosis, which includes a stack of great advice for anyone who’s been thinking about getting tested, or knows someone who’s recently been diagnosed with ADHD. Then we usher in Michael so we can talk through the things that have aroused their interest this week, beginning with the release of the ‘House of Gucci’ movie trailer featuring Lady Gaga and Adam Driver. It’s arrival has dumped a world of excitement into both Em and Michael’s existence, safe to say they are LIVING for ALL of it. Together they’ll basically froth out over what are already proving to be the standout quotes that Lady Gaga’s character offers up in the trailer. There’s also time to talk through how Italy, and most Italians, will probably react to the movie, which then spins off into a discussion of some Aussie themed versions of the movie that Em and Michael would be keen to see. None of them are as dark as the story the ‘House of Gucci’ offers up, but who wouldn’t be keen to sit through an Aussie themed bio pic on some of our most “colourful” artists and fashion designers from the 80’s. We also talk about the vintage Gucci outfits and delve into how Adam Driver has now given us the horse themed advertising moment we never knew we needed. Naturally our official thirst officer is hungie percent HERE. FOR. IT. Then it’s on to more ‘Lympics chat with a focus on how amazing Tom Daley is as he crochets himself into our hearts, plus there’s the nearly endless tragic backstories that the Games have offered up, and a very special athletics update from Em’s daughter Chella to deliver, which comes with a bonus sport themed intro as fashioned by Em on the fly, as you’d expect, it’s an utter treat. Normally this is where I’d say “and finally” but remember how we said this house is crammed with content? Exactly, so that means we’ve also got time for a full rundown on how Em and Michael now believe that if Ben Affleck is enjoying a moment in the sun, as he clearly is with his J’Lo romance right now. Then that should naturally mean that Matt Damon must endure a moment at the bottom, which he certainly has been experiencing this week after making some rather clueless comments during a recent interview. That gets followed up with the news that Em’s favourite Royal, Fergie, of the toe sucking fame, not the Black Eyed Peas, is about to unleash her debut Mills and Boon romance novel on an unsuspecting public. Obviously, just like Adam Driver being a sexy horse man thing on the beach somewhere, once again, Em is totally HERE. FOR. IT. So much so, that she will not only work through ALL the latest details on Fergie’s forthcoming book ‘Her Heart for a Compass’, but also encourage Michael to offer up his take on how her toe sucking escapades should be described romance novel style, before adding her own breathless toe sucking version into the mix. THEN, and yes that is meant to be in capitals, because there is still more, she’ll offer up her definite list of must read romance novels, covering off drool worthy reads for all sorts of thirsty souls. Before FINALLY offering up a thirst officer vent, which really is the final item that we can fit into this “call the council, check on the inhabitants, we’re almost bursting at the seams” episode of the House of Emsolation. You may have not asked for it, or even expected it, but you are certainly going to get a LOT out of this episode, so plug in and press play at your earliest convenience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

YAAAAY ‘LYMPICS!!! Yes, after being delayed for a year, thanks to a global pandemic, the socially distanced and deeply disinfected 2020 Olympics have finally begun in Tokyo, and to say it’s been a different experience from previous ‘lympics is an understatement, with a no shit Sherlock sprinkled on top. Regardless of the empty stadiums and the rather sombre opening ceremony, our fearless leader Em has done a back two and a half somersault with two and one half twists pike into ALL. OF. IT. So much so that she’s already entertaining ideas of finding a way to compete in the Brisbane Olympics in 2032, she runs through all her possible options with Michael, all whilst rocking a fabulous blue wig, a tiara and an Emsolation hoodie, because...well, why wouldn’t she? Aside from the need to insert herself into the competition, Em has also been spending Locky D taking on the heavy task of being the official thirst officer of the Olympic “talent”, and by “talent” we mean any and all perfectly formed HOT body part owners. It’s pretty much a role she was born to do and if you’ve been following her on Instagram you will have seen a LOT of engaging content. Let’s face it, if someone is going to work that hard to hone their physique for their chosen profession, isn't it our duty to applaud them for their perfectly formed biceps, triceps, calves, or gluteus maximus? Exactly, and Em sees you and your rock hard bodies and she is totally here for it. There’s also time for Michael to reveal his very optimistic story of how he once actually convinced himself that his swimming skills were at the same level of Ian Thorpe. We’re not about to ruin the reveal of how he actually worked that out, or what it almost inspired him to do about it, but we will say that Em had a REALLY hearty laugh about it, and we think you will too. We also need to talk about how Ariarne Titmus’s win inspired her coach to dry hump an Olympic railing in celebration, which hasn’t gone down well in America, safe to say Em and Michael are having none of it. Once that’s covered off we need to delve into the developing situation in Sydney and how Melbourne has finally come out of lockdown, while positive case numbers continue to increase in NSW. It’s been difficult to watch, and the lockdown protests didn’t help ease the anxiety. We work through all of it and Em even has a deep and meaningful about the vaccine, and science, and all of the anger that comes from people not being on the same page. It’s an exhausting thing to have to chat about, but once it’s done we then move swiftly onto one of our favourite topics for this podcast, with the latest developments around Bennifer/Jenjamin 2.0. They’ve gone full Insta-official during celebrations for J’Lo’s 52nd birthday with Jenny from the Block sharing some side ab realness in picture form with a final reveal of her and Ben locked in a deep kiss. There’s a lot to unpack and we honestly believe their reunion is the thing we need to help us survive the global pandemic. So prepare yourself for another deep dive into their relationship history, we even get a rather glowing and positive prediction from the Unicorn of Death. Yep, it really does go all the way there, and there’s a lot more before that too, so settle in for a complete and utterly satisfying ride for you and your ears. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices