Emsolation

It’s the one thing you’ve all been waiting to hear. No not Em and Michael’s thoughts on that Oscar slap between Will Smith and Chris Rock, but yes you will hear ALL their thoughts on the Academy Awards, plus there’s the heavy breathing of Season 2 of Bridgerton to cover off. However the one thing we know you’ve all been waiting to hear is the big reveal on the secret Em teased in last week’s episode. Is it a Eurovision hosting gig or a judging slot on RuPauls Drag Race? You’ll finally find out inside. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We did have other options for the episode title this week, in fact ‘The Premier’s Pecs’ even gets a shout out in the actual show but during the edit we decided some ‘Hot Ghost Sex’ would be way better. Before we get down with the ghost though, we gotta get down with the latest update on last week's vent about someone who still shan't be named or advised of his appearance in said podcast. It would seem old mate helped us get a heap of new listens and Em also won therapy, so huzzahs all round. There’s also a pinch pot pottery update and the news that Coolio hit up a community festival to sort through. Then we gotta get around the brand new South Australian Premier who’s pecs are so worth frothing over that they inspired a call for a #TopsOffTuesday from Em. There’s also a political sticker campaign that threatens to stifle Em’s ability to have her garbage removed, which opens up a full rundown on how hectic bin night really is in the Rusciano household. Finally we’ve gotta talk more about the utter campery that is ‘The Gilded Age’, the confirmation of a second season of ‘And Just Like That’ and also all the abundant wang action featured in the new series on Stan called ‘Minx’. So it’s pecs and peen and all the other camp and political stuff in between for you to enjoy at your earliest convenience, so have at it and enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yeah they sure do, especially when you’re high on cold and flu tablets and running on zero sleep, so keep your lips sealed and don’t be telling peeps about what goes down inside this episode or it’s sutures and needles for you. You’ll understand what that’s all about when we get into this week’s chat with Michael. After the great unload of 2022, it’s on to our Prime Minister, where we cover off whether he’s about to be toppled for the top job, his attacks on Albo’s weight loss and the terrible branding of the Women’s Network logo, we also get another dire prediction from the Unicorn of Death. In happier news there’s a brand new Disney Pixar animated movie to binge called ‘Turning Red’. It’s a coming of age fantasy comedy that Em and her family fully loved, it also happens to be written and directed by women, has an Asian lead character, and deals with puberty and menstruation. So it kind of ticks all the boxes for a female audience, but it also has universal appeal, although one male reviewer has had a sulk about it not being targeted at him, naturally we’ve got a lot to say about that too. Michael will also give us the lowdown on the Disney Pixar spat that’s currently going on. So plug in and get ready for shocking revelations, especially one involving teenage Michael and a bus trip for school. It's a joyous ride filled to pussy’s bow with things to make your ears and mind excited, so have at it and enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How gay is it? Well we start with Em and Michael doing a deep dive on the Madonna Boot Camp that Madonna is holding to find the actor who will play her in the visual autobiography movie of her life, so Madonna. Then there’s the TV shows they’ve been watching to distract them from the state of the world right now, like the new Vikings: Valhalla show Em is into, where hot bearded men smash into each other. That’s pretty gay and it also brings up memories of Em’s love for wrestlers like Stone Cold Steve Austin who was fully doing his thing in their own versions of drag outfits. Meanwhile Michael’s all about the Young Royals show where Royals are in a boarding school and there’s a gay romance to get lost in with lots of milking of the gay angst. Finally, it’s not at all gay, but we do have a message from Emsolator Bridget who’s coming to terms with dating in her early 40’s and asking for some advice on how to deal with the feeling that kids won’t be in her future. So heaps of gay things and then some advice from your gay Uncle Michael and your equally camp Auntie Em to round things out, so take all that gaiety and shove it in your listening holes and enjoy our podcast campery. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are face to face, in the same room, breathing each other's air, making eye to eye contact without the help of Zoom, FINALLY! It was freakin’ ace, you had to be there obvs, thankfully you will be, because you’ll hear all about it and get our blissful happy vibes through the speakers/headphones, so HUZZAH! Lets have at it shall we. Obviously there’s heaps of meh happening around the planet right now, hopefully we can give you a moment of escape. We start with the positive news that Queen Liz is back on the mend, but there’s also the news our Prime Minister is now on the “doh I’ve got it” bandwagon too. Then there’s the hectic amount of flooding that's happening across Queensland and NSW. We're gonna focus on the helpers, it’s the perfect way to remind all of us of how amazing humans can be in moments of crisis. Then we need to talk about the situation in Ukraine and the amazing backstory of their heroic President Volodymyr Zelensky, who’s been countering Russian conspiracy theories by going live on social media, and refusing to leave his people even when offered. Naturally we’re not a news podcast so we’re more focussed on the fact that Volodymyr is close to Em and Michael’s age, he was an actor and a comedian, and he won ‘Dancing with the Stars’ in 2006. Em feels his backstory would be the equivalent of us having Grant Denyer becoming our Prime Minister, Michael feels it’s way more a Guy Sebastian scenario. Australia has clearly never had a popular celebrity comedian/actor who’s managed to successfully transition into politics, although Albo has gone luxe for a Women’s Weekly photoshoot which was enough for Em to give us a full rundown on him prepping for his spray tan for the shoot, as you do. After that we need to talk about the Melbourne premiere of the new Batman movie starring Robert Pattison and Zoe Kravitz. Em and Michael have a LOT to say about it, it’s 3 hours long, it’s directed by the guy who did ‘Planet of the Apes’, it’s the same ol’ same ol’ kind of story with Gotham and Batman and Catwoman and you know what to expect. Our focus seems to be more on the whole dramatic eyeliner thing being used to help disguise him from the general public and all the gloom that seems to dominate the film, so much so that you can’t even really see what the hell is happening on the screen. There’s also LOTS of attempts at doing the gruff Batman voice by both Em and Michael, plus all the ins and outs of what they did and didn’t enjoy on the big screen. Em thinks they might never get invited to a movie review again, we think they should be reviewing all of the movies all of the time, because this is the movie review to end ALL movie reviews, there I said it, prove me wrong (this is Ben who writes the podcast descriptions and I know I’m right hehe). Anyway all of that ends with props to RuPaul, you’ll have to listen to find out how they ended up there, it’s a ride and a half we promise. You’ll also wanna see the film after listening just to get the full effect. Finally we have the sensational news that we’re doing a live show in Melbourne with all the details on how to get your tickets first. So what are you waiting for? Start listening and stay safe out there, while we send massive poddy hugs from here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are FINALLY in our new studio, although that “we” doesn’t include Em’s high school bestie and co-host Michael, he’s still phoning it in via Zoom whilst doing romantic getaway things in Tasmania with his husband Adrian, but more on that later. We start with Em being totes profesh in the surrounds of the new Emsolation office, which also means she now gets interrupted by adults instead of her toddler, hence why you get an unexpected appearance and apology from her executive producer Ben, who just decided to saunter in whilst Em was recording the shows intro. We then get a full rundown of Elio’s second attempt at a gymnastics class and the continuing saga of trying to toilet train him, unrelenting chaos seems to be the operating word throughout much of that update. Once that’s sorted, we welcome in Michael so he can get his official apology out of the way for ruining our first face to face recording in our totes adulting office/studio. Of course Em can hardly wait to update him on the new digs, highlights include discovering a garbage room with abundant bin access and meeting a local cafe owner that she's decided to name Daphne, more explain on that within, plus there’s a pottery course update too. Then we gotta talk about the news that Her Majesty has Covid. As a huge fan of everything to do with Lizzie and our official in-house Royal watcher, Em has made it her duty to find out all she can about how the Queen is coping in lockdown. We even get a visit from the Magical Unicorn of Death, although surprisingly, this time around the Unicorn is offering up a positive vibe and predicting that the Queen will be totally fine. Our usually optimistic Seahorse of Hope however, isn’t so hopeful, but then Michael isn’t much of a fan of the monarchy, so maybe he’s looking at it from a slightly less positive perspective. We follow up on Royal watch with the continuing PR extravaganza from our current Prime Minister. The last 7 days have included more election campaigning and photo ops, including some terrible OHS work involving a spot of welding, and accusations that the opposition leader is best mates with the Chinese Government, so nothing unusual there AT ALL! There’s more predictions from the Unicorn and the Seahorse and even some chat about who is the Liberal exhibiting the most humanity, as you do. Then it’s off to Hollywood for Em and Michael’s reaction to the Vanity Fair photoshoot of Nicole Kidman that every Emsolator is talking about, and we’ve gotta work through all the latest Oscar announcements, from who is hosting, to the campaign to give an Oscar to whoever gets the most tweets. Michael is not about it, but Em can’t wait to see who will win an Oscar from a hashtag, she’s even hoping some random twitter fan will be plucked from obscurity to present the award on the night too. We also do a lot of live Google work trying to work out the height and age of a variety of politicians, and we recap all of the Unicorns predictions too. So plop yourself in front of your favourite podcast listening device and press play on another episode that is as full as something that is totes overstuffed with the kind of content that leaves you feeling spent and utterly satisfied. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Topics include the hectic recording scenario, Super Bowl Halftime Show nostalgia, love for period dramas, cultural combinations in interviews, navigating politeness and politics, controversial photo scandals, and discussion of The Gilded Age TV show set in 1882 New York.

Full disclosure, that podcast title above is a lie, we will actually make reference within this episode to our current Prime Minister, but you can rest assured we aren’t exactly filled with any excitement or want to do it. Surprisingly, or not, the last 7 days have given us even more shocking revelations to follow on from last week’s news that people within our Government have accused Scott of being a “horrible, horrible person” and a “psycho”. In fact, it’s been such a busy week that we’ve called an expert in to help us wade through the toxic quagmire of excrement that has continued to float to the surface of politics over the last 7 days. Speaking of toxic quagmires of excrement, that sadly is the world that currently envelopes our beloved screenwriter and co-host, Mr Michael Lucas. It would seem he’s been trying to survive a nasty bout of gastro without his husband around to offer help and support. So after Em sent her daughter Chella to deliver a survival kit of flat lemonade, dry biscuits and emergency liquids for upset and dehydrated humans, we arrived at the decision that Michael should probably sit this one out. So without Michael to help breakdown the week in politics, AND…more importantly, the announcement of this year's Academy Award nominees, we had to scramble to find some temporary replacements. So to help Em navigate all the announcements of the nominees for this year's Academy Awards, we’re welcoming Em’s daughter Chella to the microphone. She loves a movie, like she’s basically seen HEAPS of them, plus she’s done research, so Chella is going to help offer up her take on who did and didn’t deserve a slot on the nominations list. It’s probably no surprise that both Em and Chella, and no doubt Michael, are all shook that Lady Gaga didn’t rate any recognition for her efforts in gifting the world the now infamous line “Father, Son and House of Gucci” as part of her role as Patrizia Reggiani in the ‘House of Gucci’ movie. After we work through that outrage, there’s Jared Leto’s Gucci performance to acknowledge again and more bad news for ‘Diana - The Musical’ to reveal. Finally we wrap with all the songs that got nominated this year and wonder if Kristen Stewart will even turn up on the big night. Then we move onto the state of play in the world of Australian politics right now. To do that we welcome back Em’s bestie and former guest, Jamila Rizvi. Jamila has a history in politics and agreed to step in to help talk through the last 7 days, which includes a superb telling of the facts so far from Em that includes a Barnaby Joyce impersonation. We also need to reflect on the amazing speeches we witnessed from Brittany Higgins and Grace Tame at the National Press Club on Wednesday with some of our favourite highlights. Jamila has so many great insights and thoughts on what is going on behind closed doors, plus Em wants to know who’s going to win as we creep closer to another election…such fun. We promise it is actually a really great chat and it delivered everything Em was hoping for, which is always an automatic win. Last, but not least, there’s more of your phone calls from the Emsolation messagebank to answer. We also promise you’ll have ‘We Don’t Talk About Bruno’ stuck in your head after listening too. It’s already stuck in there isn’t it? Figured as much…well get ready for a smidge more of that utter ear worm in your head and enjoy this truly unique and delightful episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The F.F.S. needs explaining because that acronym in our title could be used a bunch of ways (FACTS! Google its meaning and prepare to be inundated) anyway you’ll obviously work out which way we’re using it by the time you get to the end of the episode. To start though, let's use the potty mouth version of the acronym F.F.S. for the recording of our intro because some rando living near Em decided today was the day to fire up their woodchipper and start feeding it with a forest's worth of woody victims. Obviously this was a HUGE distraction for Em, she did however soldier on with absolutely no mental side quests, not true, but we did get across the latest update on our hunt for a podcast studio (preferably one nowhere near a bloody woodchipper) the news isn’t good so far, so the search continues. We do however have some VERY good news, Em will give you a teaser of something very special that we’re currently working on that is coming up soon, squeeeeal!! It’s totes exciting, after that it’s into the reason we’re here, to find out what tickled Em and her best friend Michael’s interests this week, and we start with a true goddess of the highest order, the Queen of Pop, Miss Janet Jackson. ‘Janet Jackson’ is the name of a brand new 4 part documentary now screening on Stan that covers her life and career to date. Em and Michael have all of the thoughts, feels and memories of which dance routines they’d thrust their way through in high school too. It’s safe to say that if Janet Jackson's album listens haven’t already exploded on Spotify, they DEFINITELY will after you listen to this episode. After we sample some Janet highlights and get our gush on, we’ll re-open the book on the ‘Sex and the City’ spinoff ‘And Just Like That’. The final episode of the new season arrives this week, and with news that it’s been confirmed for a second season, Em and Michael have complex feelings to share. Naturally those feelings won’t ever be stopping them from watching it, but they’re still gonna air their gripes and attempt to try and explain how important the original series was to them in comparison to the new series. Then we need to talk all of the awkward on display at Scott Morrison’s National Press Club appearance this week. Serial pest Peter Van Onselen dropped a blindside at the event revealing he had leaked texts from Gladys Berejiklian and a party colleague, where she called Scott a “horrible, horrible man” and her colleague went even further saying he was “a fraud and a psycho”. It’s a wild thing to witness the entire thing going down, so many blinks and awkward facial expressions. Em and Michael break it all down, plus Em reveals the greatest thing she found out about opposition leader Anthony Albanese. Finally, we’ve got voicemail from an Emsolator who needs advice on a husband who’s living his life like a big kid, you better believe Em has all of the advice to offer and the full reveal on what the F.F.S. in our title stands for, so settle in for a lovely chill with your podcast pals and enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it sweaty in here? You bet your deodorant absorbing pits it is! We really got our sweat on recording this episode, so why not make our episode title sweat soaked as well. A heads up for Emsolators listening from outside Australia, it is currently summer down under, the world is on toast environmentally, so of course the heatwaves we’ve been experiencing around the country feel biblical and never ending. On top of that, Em’s husband Scott decided to turn off the air conditioner, ruining any chance of Em finding a cool spot to record today’s intro. Luckily for us that means we get a heat affected retelling of that story as part of the intro. There’s more sweat to be found across the rest of the episode too. There’s the kind of sweats you get trying to tackle subjects that may trigger or upset people, and there’s also the sweat you leave in the spot you choose to sleep, whether that be a bed…or a nest of clothes and towels, more on that later. To get things started we’ve got a close contact from within the Emsolation team with Coronavirus to reveal, there’s also all the untapped excitement of the dinosaur stuffed celebrations for Elio’s 3rd birthday to cover off as well.That’s another tick for the sweat factor index of this episode, for reference, just imagine how sticky you’d get when you’re outdoors in 30 degree plus heat in a fully enclosed, head to toe, dinosaur costume. Once that’s sorted we need to get stuck into two things that have stuck out for Em and Michael this week, the first of those is to talk about how some people still think it’s okay to celebrate Australia Day. Everyone in this country should be well across how deeply it hurts First Nations people to celebrate a date that reminds them of generations of trauma, suffering and injustice for them and their ancestors. The resources to educate yourself are out there and it’s time we all came together to create a fair and truthful relationship with First Nations people and ensure a better future for them and their children based on justice and self-determination. The second thing Em and Michael wanna tackle is the reaction Australian of the Year recipient Grace Tame received this week after she refused to smile in a photo op with our Prime Minister Scott Morrison. Grace has achieved so much since receiving the honour and Em and Michael are keen to give her props for all she’s achieved and respect for always sticking to her resolve not to be silent anymore. Some sections of the media aren’t as keen and they’ve been given some truly superb truth bombs as a result, you’ll hear our favourite clapback within. Finally we have the dilemma shared on social media of the girlfriend who discovered that her boyfriend doesn’t own an actual bed when she went to his house for the first time. It would seem he prefers to sleep in a nest fashioned from clothes and towels on his floor, he also doesn’t wash the clothes and towels he sleeps within EVER, it’s a lot to process. So are Em and Michael into the nest idea, does it need some tweaking, and how often exactly do Em and Michael change and wash their own bedsheets? All of those questions will get answered, with a lot of deep gasps thrown in. We’ve also got some more lovely messages from the Emsolation answering machine to listen back to as well. So find a spot that’s perfectly chill and give yourself over to the podcast equivalent of ear caviar, which now that I’ve typed it, sounds kinda revolting, but you get the idea, it’s top choice listening with an abundance of sweaty talk thrown in, so stick it in your ear holes whenever you can and enjoy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices