EmPowered Couples with The Freemans

This week marks our 10-year wedding anniversary and if we’re being honest, the months leading up to it weren’t easy. Research even shows that around the 10-year mark, couples hit peak dissatisfaction. But here’s the truth: challenges don’t mean your marriage is broken. They’re invitations to grow, reconnect, and come back stronger. In this episode, we’re opening up about the 10 most powerful lessons from our 10 years together — the highs, the lows, the laughter, and the lessons that have shaped us as individuals, as partners, and as parents. Whether you’ve been together 2 years, 20, or 50, these lessons will give you perspective, encouragement, and practical tools to stay on the same team in every season. Don’t miss this one—it might change the way you see your marriage.   Relationship Resources: In honor of our 10-year anniversary, we’re keeping The Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge open for just a few more days! This special edition is designed to reignite emotional and physical intimacy, spark joy, and bring out the BEST in each other again. Join here: mycoupleschallenge.com/best Or explore all of our tools — from upcoming workshops to guides — at meetthefreemans.com/links 👉 If this episode gave you value, hit subscribe, drop a comment with your favorite lesson, and please leave a review so more couples can find this podcast.   Episode Timestamps of What We Discuss: 0:00 – Why 10 years can be a breaking point for couples 3:20 – Lesson 1: Keep updating your shared vision 9:17 – Lesson 2: Connection is more than just being around each other 15:52 – Lesson 3: Differences can make you a stronger team 25:14 – Lesson 4: Becoming parents forces you to reconstruct your marriage 32:09 – Lesson 5: How you show up daily becomes how your marriage feels 39:37 – Lesson 6: Be more committed to repair than being right (or hurt) 47:49 – Lesson 7: Most arguments aren’t about the surface-level issue 53:03 – Lesson 8: Don’t shift from biggest supporters to biggest critics 59:59 – Lesson 9: The same challenges repeat until you learn the lesson 1:08:48 – Lesson 10: Sometimes you just need to have fun and switch the energy 1:12:43 – Final reflections after 10 years

What keeps couples united through all the ups and downs? A shared vision. In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, we break down why having a vision together is essential, how to define your values as a couple, and the practical steps to keep you connected in both everyday life and during challenges. Whether you’re in a hard season or just feeling stuck in routine, your vision as a couple is what pulls you out of the mundane and gives deeper meaning to your marriage. In this episode you will hear: -Why self-focus leads to more negativity (and how vision shifts that) -The 4 steps to creating a shared vision for your marriage and family -How values guide tough choices around career, parenting, and money -Ways to connect daily life back to your bigger purpose together -How to turn challenges into growth and strengthen your bond long-term 👉 Ready to reignite your intimacy and spark? Our Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge is only open 3x a year—don’t miss this round. Join here: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best If you enjoy this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a comment, and write us a quick review—it means the world to us and helps more couples find the podcast!   Timestamps of Episode: 0:00 – Why self-focus increases negativity 0:18 – How vision helps you think beyond yourself 0:34 – The danger of losing sight of your shared values 0:47 – Making hard choices aligned with your vision 1:00 – Looking back on challenges with pride 1:19 – Welcome + episode introduction 1:55 – Why vision bonds couples from the beginning 2:14 – Losing sight of “why” in everyday life 2:38 – Announcement: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge 3:18 – Why vision is collaborative and long-term 3:40 – The psychology of self-consciousness & negative emotion 4:23 – How lack of vision creates conflict cycles 4:39 – Seeing hard seasons in the bigger picture 5:18 – Finding meaning even in the mundane days 6:26 – Step 1: Moving from present pain to future vision 7:52 – How vision brings relief and peace 9:09 – Parenting example: values guiding hard choices 10:17 – Step 2: Defining higher values and purpose 11:25 – Career choices and money vs. vision 12:37 – Step 3: Creating a simple, memorable vision statement 13:47 – Aligning vision with values, actions, and results 15:29 – Expanding your vision beyond your family 16:06 – Vision boards and visual reminders 16:29 – Step 4: Connecting present challenges back to vision 17:09 – Real parenting example from our daughter 18:43 – Seeing challenges as stepping stones to vision 19:29 – Simple reflection questions for couples 20:18 – The Hero’s Journey and your marriage 20:38 – Looking back on challenges with pride and strength 21:07 – Who you want to become vs. what you want to achieve 21:59 – Why connection is the most fulfilling outcome 22:22 – Final reminder: Best of Us 30-Day Challenge 23:16 – Closing encouragement + subscribe & review

Marriage after kids can feel like survival mode. Once out of the immediate chaos, it can settle into a state of function. Between diapers, school runs, shuttling to sports practices, your work, and endless to-do lists at home, it’s easy to put your relationship on the back burner. But here’s the truth: your kids don’t just thrive on how well you care for them—they thrive on how connected YOU are as a couple. In this episode of the Empowered Couples Podcast, Jocelyn & Aaron (“The Freemans”) share practical, real-life ways to stay emotionally and physically connected after kids. You’ll learn how to move beyond just “functioning” as roommates and bring back fulfillment, intimacy, and spark in your marriage before it’s too late. If you’ve ever felt the distance growing, this conversation will give you hope and concrete steps you can implement today. From this episode you’ll walk away with: How to make daily emotional check-ins that go beyond “How was your day?” Why non-sexual touch matters (and how to bring it back without pressure) Simple ways to make family dinners and daily routines bonding moments How to prioritize weekly and yearly quality time as a couple Why your kids benefit most when YOU thrive together Don’t just survive marriage after kids—reignite the connection that makes everything else in family life easier. Not only is this for your own satisfaction, but critical for what you then model to your kids.  Want to reignite the spark and feel truly connected again? Join the Best of Us 30-Day Couples Challenge—a proven path to bring back emotional closeness, intimacy, and joy in your marriage. Enrollment only opens a few times per year, so don’t miss this round: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best 👈   If This Episode Resonated, Don’t Forget to: -Subscribe for weekly episodes -Leave a rating & review to support the show -Share this episode with a couple who needs encouragement   Episode Topics Timestamp: 00:08 – Why putting your relationship on the back burner hurts your kids too 00:09:50 – The emotional wall couples feel after building the “dream life” 00:10:38 – Why dissatisfaction peaks around the 10-year mark (and how to avoid it) 00:13:37 – Connection is what makes parenting and life easier 00:14:00 – Step 1: Daily emotional check-ins (not just logistics) 00:19:18 – Step 2: Non-sexual touch & physical affection 00:23:59 – Why kids need to SEE your love, not just receive it 00:25:02 – Special edition: The Best of Us 30-Day Challenge 00:28:11 – Step 3: Make family dinners intentional & device-free 00:32:57 – Step 4: Weekly marriage nights (beyond TV time) 00:34:44 – Step 5: Yearly getaways & bucket list adventures together 00:37:24 – The danger of drifting apart slowly 00:39:34 – Kids notice everything—why your marriage is their model 00:41:26 – Final encouragement & invitation to reignite your spark  

The problem isn't that your desire or drive is changing. The problem is that you're not talking about these changes and finding solutions on how to evolve with them and stay connected.  In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, we share the real reasons intimacy shifts over time (especially after kids, through peri-menopause, or with stress and aging), and how couples can adapt together rather than growing apart. In this episode you’ll hear: -A raw confession from a wife/mom at a retreat Jocelyn spoke at recently -The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire -Why intimacy isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional and environmental -How hormones, lifestyle, and fear influence libido -Practical steps to create a more connected, satisfying intimate relationship—at any age   This episode is part of our Intimacy Series—helping couples reignite closeness and communication in every season of marriage. Want daily prompts to rebuild emotional & physical intimacy? 👉Join our special edition 30-Day Couples Challenge: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best   Timeline of what we discuss in this episode:  00:00 – A real confession: “I feel guilt because I used to want intimacy all the time…” 00:21 – The real problem isn’t desire changing—it’s not talking about it 00:42 – Welcome to the Empowered Couples Podcast 01:00 – The impact of postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause 02:03 – Men experience changes too (and it affects confidence) 02:52 – Don’t compare to the past—it’s not the same anymore 03:17 – Powerful conversation starters to open up about desire 04:00 – Do men and women experience different libido shifts? 05:00 – Understanding hormonal changes: perimenopause and aging 06:01 – Postpartum, hormone shifts, and how your body chemistry changes 07:00 – Getting your hormones tested and being proactive 08:00 – Personal lifestyle changes and challenges we’ve faced 09:04 – Poor sleep, stress, and sedentary living affect libido 10:11 – Emotional exhaustion and cycle awareness in women 11:18 – How birth control and fertility windows affect attraction 12:18 – Fathers experience biological shifts too 13:06 – Fear of pregnancy can lower intimacy desire 14:05 – Lifestyle habits that support libido 15:21 – The power of variety, newness, and weekly rhythms 16:22 – Our 30-Day Challenge to reignite the spark (The Best of Us) 17:14 – Why we brought this challenge back more than once a year 18:04 – Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained 20:20 – Most women (and couples) are more responsive than spontaneous 22:15 – Long-term relationships shift desire patterns 23:13 – Intimacy becomes more about environment and intention 24:32 – Create emotional connection without pressure 25:02 – Start with the hard conversation: talk about what’s changed 26:04 – Learn your erotic blueprint—how you’re wired now, not then 27:07 – Focus more on quality of intimacy than frequency 28:23 – Final marriage reminder: evolve together, not apart 29:13 – Join the 30-Day Best of Us Challenge 29:30 – Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Review  

Is it normal for intimacy to feel like another item on your to-do list? You love your partner, but between parenting, exhaustion, and unspoken resentment… desire can fade. In this episode, we're unpacking why intimacy feels like an obligation — and how to shift the emotional and physical energy in your marriage so that you both actually want it again. We share real stories, emotional dynamics, and practical shifts that help couples go from feeling like roommates to rekindling passion — even in the busiest seasons of life. Topics we cover in this episode: -Emotional disconnection vs desire -Why frequency isn’t the real issue -How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy -Shifting from “obligation” to “wanting” again   Relationship resources: Ready to reconnect and reignite the spark? Join our 30-Day Special Edition Couples Challenge — The Best of Us (only open 3x a year): 👉 https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best   🎧 Subscribe for more non-boring marriage advice: New episodes weekly to help you communicate better, resolve conflicts, and stay on the SAME TEAM.   Episode timestamps: 00:00 – The real reason intimacy feels like a chore 00:28 – A typical day that drains your connection 01:28 – Intimacy isn’t just about frequency 02:08 – Emotional & physical disconnection = exhaustion 03:36 – Intimacy should fuel your life, not feel like an obligation 05:12 – What makes marriage different from other relationships 06:07 – Why passion fades (and how to bring it back) 07:06 – From obligatory intimacy to real desire 08:02 – The role of stress, overstimulation, and exhaustion 10:17 – Are you ignoring intimacy too long? 11:03 – Hormones, life seasons & libido shifts 12:10 – How unresolved tension blocks intimacy 13:00 – Top 5 blocks to intimacy (from our survey) 14:04 – Is intimacy actually enjoyable for both of you? 15:09 – Why honest intimacy check-ins matter 15:48 – Emotional tone shift #1: warmth, eye contact & presence 17:00 – Emotional coldness kills desire 19:00 – Micro habits that warm up emotional intimacy 20:08 – Shift #2: Physical touch outside the bedroom 21:36 – Shift #3: Initiation & anticipation matter 23:35 – Why women must also participate in creating desire 25:06 – Dating energy vs marriage complacency 26:35 – Would your dating self get a “yes” today? 27:53 – Shift #4: Intimacy starts outside the bedroom 29:19 – Check-ins and parenting stress affect desire too 30:12 – The power of fun and play in rekindling intimacy 31:27 – Relaxation and play spark openness 32:18 – Why our “Best of Us” Challenge is perfect for this 33:03 – Intimacy should be enjoyable — not expected 33:35 – Stop forcing frequency. Focus on connection instead. 34:13 – Subscribe + get ready for our upcoming Q&A episode  

Attraction in marriage can fade through unnoticed habits. Discover the most common emotional and physical turn-offs that couples report and learn how to reignite that spark. The discussion highlights the importance of emotional connections and maintaining personal energy. Uncover actionable strategies for rebuilding intimacy, such as engaging in meaningful daily actions. A 30-Day Couples Challenge is introduced to help partners reconnect, moving from a roommate dynamic to a passionate partnership.

Discover how to cultivate peace and connection in your marriage by moving from emotional reactivity to responsiveness. Learn why taking ownership of your feelings is crucial and how it fosters trust. Explore the impact of dissociation on relationships and the importance of self-awareness. Uncover a five-step process to enhance emotional maturity and deepen intimacy. Whether it's navigating conflicts or simply aiming for better communication, this conversation offers invaluable insights for a healthier partnership.

Labeling your spouse can wreak havoc on emotional safety and long-term connection. Words like 'selfish' or 'narcissist' don't just sting—they reshape how you view each other over time. The discussion emphasizes the risk of reducing partners to labels that attack identity instead of addressing behavior. It also offers alternatives for expressing feelings that foster understanding rather than defensiveness. Simple scripts for tough conversations help couples stay honest while maintaining respect and intimacy.

Discussing emotional triggers in relationships can feel daunting, but it's essential for connection. The hosts delve into techniques for approaching sensitive topics without igniting defensiveness. They highlight how perception influences emotional responses and share personal anecdotes for relatable insights. The conversation offers practical tools to transform conflicts into opportunities for understanding, emphasizing the importance of accountability and curiosity. Whether you're navigating triggers or simply trying to connect, this discussion provides valuable guidance for a healthier partnership.