EmPowered Couples with The Freemans

The problem isn't that your desire or drive is changing. The problem is that you're not talking about these changes and finding solutions on how to evolve with them and stay connected.  In this vulnerable and eye-opening episode, we share the real reasons intimacy shifts over time (especially after kids, through peri-menopause, or with stress and aging), and how couples can adapt together rather than growing apart. In this episode you’ll hear: -A raw confession from a wife/mom at a retreat Jocelyn spoke at recently -The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire -Why intimacy isn’t just physical—it’s deeply emotional and environmental -How hormones, lifestyle, and fear influence libido -Practical steps to create a more connected, satisfying intimate relationship—at any age   This episode is part of our Intimacy Series—helping couples reignite closeness and communication in every season of marriage. Want daily prompts to rebuild emotional & physical intimacy? 👉Join our special edition 30-Day Couples Challenge: https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best   Timeline of what we discuss in this episode:  00:00 – A real confession: “I feel guilt because I used to want intimacy all the time…” 00:21 – The real problem isn’t desire changing—it’s not talking about it 00:42 – Welcome to the Empowered Couples Podcast 01:00 – The impact of postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause 02:03 – Men experience changes too (and it affects confidence) 02:52 – Don’t compare to the past—it’s not the same anymore 03:17 – Powerful conversation starters to open up about desire 04:00 – Do men and women experience different libido shifts? 05:00 – Understanding hormonal changes: perimenopause and aging 06:01 – Postpartum, hormone shifts, and how your body chemistry changes 07:00 – Getting your hormones tested and being proactive 08:00 – Personal lifestyle changes and challenges we’ve faced 09:04 – Poor sleep, stress, and sedentary living affect libido 10:11 – Emotional exhaustion and cycle awareness in women 11:18 – How birth control and fertility windows affect attraction 12:18 – Fathers experience biological shifts too 13:06 – Fear of pregnancy can lower intimacy desire 14:05 – Lifestyle habits that support libido 15:21 – The power of variety, newness, and weekly rhythms 16:22 – Our 30-Day Challenge to reignite the spark (The Best of Us) 17:14 – Why we brought this challenge back more than once a year 18:04 – Spontaneous vs. responsive desire explained 20:20 – Most women (and couples) are more responsive than spontaneous 22:15 – Long-term relationships shift desire patterns 23:13 – Intimacy becomes more about environment and intention 24:32 – Create emotional connection without pressure 25:02 – Start with the hard conversation: talk about what’s changed 26:04 – Learn your erotic blueprint—how you’re wired now, not then 27:07 – Focus more on quality of intimacy than frequency 28:23 – Final marriage reminder: evolve together, not apart 29:13 – Join the 30-Day Best of Us Challenge 29:30 – Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Review  

Is it normal for intimacy to feel like another item on your to-do list? You love your partner, but between parenting, exhaustion, and unspoken resentment… desire can fade. In this episode, we're unpacking why intimacy feels like an obligation — and how to shift the emotional and physical energy in your marriage so that you both actually want it again. We share real stories, emotional dynamics, and practical shifts that help couples go from feeling like roommates to rekindling passion — even in the busiest seasons of life. Topics we cover in this episode: -Emotional disconnection vs desire -Why frequency isn’t the real issue -How to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy -Shifting from “obligation” to “wanting” again   Relationship resources: Ready to reconnect and reignite the spark? Join our 30-Day Special Edition Couples Challenge — The Best of Us (only open 3x a year): 👉 https://mycoupleschallenge.com/best   🎧 Subscribe for more non-boring marriage advice: New episodes weekly to help you communicate better, resolve conflicts, and stay on the SAME TEAM.   Episode timestamps: 00:00 – The real reason intimacy feels like a chore 00:28 – A typical day that drains your connection 01:28 – Intimacy isn’t just about frequency 02:08 – Emotional & physical disconnection = exhaustion 03:36 – Intimacy should fuel your life, not feel like an obligation 05:12 – What makes marriage different from other relationships 06:07 – Why passion fades (and how to bring it back) 07:06 – From obligatory intimacy to real desire 08:02 – The role of stress, overstimulation, and exhaustion 10:17 – Are you ignoring intimacy too long? 11:03 – Hormones, life seasons & libido shifts 12:10 – How unresolved tension blocks intimacy 13:00 – Top 5 blocks to intimacy (from our survey) 14:04 – Is intimacy actually enjoyable for both of you? 15:09 – Why honest intimacy check-ins matter 15:48 – Emotional tone shift #1: warmth, eye contact & presence 17:00 – Emotional coldness kills desire 19:00 – Micro habits that warm up emotional intimacy 20:08 – Shift #2: Physical touch outside the bedroom 21:36 – Shift #3: Initiation & anticipation matter 23:35 – Why women must also participate in creating desire 25:06 – Dating energy vs marriage complacency 26:35 – Would your dating self get a “yes” today? 27:53 – Shift #4: Intimacy starts outside the bedroom 29:19 – Check-ins and parenting stress affect desire too 30:12 – The power of fun and play in rekindling intimacy 31:27 – Relaxation and play spark openness 32:18 – Why our “Best of Us” Challenge is perfect for this 33:03 – Intimacy should be enjoyable — not expected 33:35 – Stop forcing frequency. Focus on connection instead. 34:13 – Subscribe + get ready for our upcoming Q&A episode  

Attraction in marriage can fade through unnoticed habits. Discover the most common emotional and physical turn-offs that couples report and learn how to reignite that spark. The discussion highlights the importance of emotional connections and maintaining personal energy. Uncover actionable strategies for rebuilding intimacy, such as engaging in meaningful daily actions. A 30-Day Couples Challenge is introduced to help partners reconnect, moving from a roommate dynamic to a passionate partnership.

Discover how to cultivate peace and connection in your marriage by moving from emotional reactivity to responsiveness. Learn why taking ownership of your feelings is crucial and how it fosters trust. Explore the impact of dissociation on relationships and the importance of self-awareness. Uncover a five-step process to enhance emotional maturity and deepen intimacy. Whether it's navigating conflicts or simply aiming for better communication, this conversation offers invaluable insights for a healthier partnership.

Labeling your spouse can wreak havoc on emotional safety and long-term connection. Words like 'selfish' or 'narcissist' don't just sting—they reshape how you view each other over time. The discussion emphasizes the risk of reducing partners to labels that attack identity instead of addressing behavior. It also offers alternatives for expressing feelings that foster understanding rather than defensiveness. Simple scripts for tough conversations help couples stay honest while maintaining respect and intimacy.

Discussing emotional triggers in relationships can feel daunting, but it's essential for connection. The hosts delve into techniques for approaching sensitive topics without igniting defensiveness. They highlight how perception influences emotional responses and share personal anecdotes for relatable insights. The conversation offers practical tools to transform conflicts into opportunities for understanding, emphasizing the importance of accountability and curiosity. Whether you're navigating triggers or simply trying to connect, this discussion provides valuable guidance for a healthier partnership.

Common issues in marriage can often disguise unhealthy dynamics. The hosts dive into questions about what's normal versus harmful, shedding light on conflicts, intimacy, and parenting stress. They share real-life examples and effective strategies for navigating emotional disconnection and mismatched desires. Listeners will discover the importance of communication and maintaining emotional safety, along with actionable tips to rekindle connection. This engaging conversation is both validating and empowering for couples seeking clarity in their relationship.

Why is it so hard to change the way we show up in marriage, even when we know what we want to do differently? In this special episode, we sit down with John Assaraf, a renowned global leader in success and performance coaching, decades-long behavioral neuroscience researcher, and CEO of MyNeuroGym.com. He’s authored 4 bestselling books (including 2 New York Times bestsellers) and has been featured in 11 films. Together, we explore the science behind why we get stuck in patterns like defensiveness, withdrawal, or reactivity and how to finally break free. Whether you’re trying to communicate better, stay calm in conflict, or just feel more connected, this episode reveals what’s really happening in your brain during those moments, and what it takes to rewire it. John shares breakthrough insights from his book Innercise, along with practical tools to reshape your beliefs, upgrade your mindset, and master the habits that shape your relationship. Which is required if you want to get new results in your life and marriage. If you are ready to become the partner your relationship and your future needs, this episode is a must-listen. 👉 Grab John Assaraf’s book Innercise on Amazon   🎯 Get the Freemans’ relationship tools at MeetTheFreemans.com/links

Few things create more frustration in a marriage than the feeling of a double standard—when it seems like the rules are different for you than for your partner. Whether it’s around emotional regulation, how long you’re “allowed” to feel upset, or what tone is acceptable from whom, these invisible imbalances quietly erode trust and connection over time. In this episode, we unpack the real-life double standards men and women often feel in marriage—and how those dynamics are deeply tied to core fears like unfairness, rejection, or not being heard. We’re not here to point fingers—we’re here to name the patterns, give them language, and teach you how to break the cycle without turning on each other. You’ll learn how to move beyond keeping score, how to express your needs without weaponizing them, and how to create emotional safety when things feel uneven. If you’ve ever thought, “Why is it okay when they do it, but not when I do?”—this one is for you. 👉 One way to prevent these double standard dynamics is by consistently building up your “Love Account” through small daily deposits of connection, appreciation, and presence. That’s exactly what the Prioritizing Us 30-Day Couples Challenge is designed to help you do. Start today at MyCouplesChallenge.com.

Discover how boundaries can transform your marriage into a joyful partnership. The discussion brings in sports analogies to illustrate the importance of clear rules for effective communication. Learn about essential agreements for conflict resolution that help couples navigate disputes. Emotional and energetic boundaries play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy relationship. Personal anecdotes add depth as they explore how setting limits can boost trust and intimacy. Walk away with practical tools to strengthen your bond and keep outside influences at bay.