The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

This week I am so excited to introduce you to Cynthia Loy Darst. Cynthia is a Co-Active Coach, relationship worker and keynote speaker. She is also the author of the book, Meet Your Inside Team: How to Turn Internal Conflict into Clarity and Move Forward with Your Life. Cynthia holds a very special place in my heart. She was my first coach and mentor when I began my own coaching journey. The entire foundation for what I do today, I owe to her. Having her on my podcast is such a special treat. So do you ever have that inner voice that says, "Who the hell do you think you are?," when you are about to make a massive change (like say... divorce)? It's a nasty voice, one you don't want to hear. Well in this episode Cynthia teaches us how to turn towards that inner voice ( which she calls the inner bully) and ask it, with compassion, "What do you need? What's going on here?" She teaches us how to slow down our inner dialogue and start to find our way forward with kindness, clarity, and grace. In addition we talk about navigating myth change (moving from one phase of life to the next), transitioning relationships and grieving the disappointed dream. This week's episode is definitely one that asks you to look inward and do the work to uncover the many aspects of yourself. Show Highlights The concept of her new book, Meet Your Inside Team and the importance of slowing down your inner dialogue (10:21) Tuning into the players that make up your inside team (aka inner dialogue) (13:34) Knowing when to slow down and listen to your inside team (15:26) Grounding yourself in your adult self and listening without getting freaked out (22:27) Cynthia shares some examples of exercises you can find in the book Meet Your Inside Team that will help uncover your different inside team players (27:30) Being curious and the importance of curiosity for each player (28:54) How to stay in an objective frame in mind when you are scared or triggered (29:58) Honoring the process of divorce (42:20) Transitioning relationships and myth change; when we change a narrative there is something we gain and something we lose (44:11) The disappointed dream: mourning the loss of the dream and myth change (49:35) Any large transition like divorce requires a lot of patience (55:22) Learn More About Cynthia: Cynthia Loy Darst is a Co-Active Coach, a relationship worker, keynote speaker, author, provocateur (emcee), course leader, coach trainer, talent scout, leader developer & trainer, team and large group facilitator, business consultant, media guest, and workshop creator. She has been a Front of the Room Leader for CTI (The Coaches Training Institute) and CRR Global, since each of them began, and has played an active role in leader development for both schools. Whether she is working with individuals, partnerships, leaders or teams, she is always focused on awareness, growth, and development. Cynthia works with people from all walks of life: CEOs to chiropractors, singers to Silicon Valley pros, teams that produce documentaries to sales teams in the insurance industry. She loves to explore their unique strengths and challenges and work with them to become ever more effective in their work and their world. Links: Cynthia's website: TeamDarst.comCynthia on social media: Facebook, LinkedIn, and TwitterTeam Darst on social media: FacebookCynthia's TEDx Talk: Safe Inside Yourself Meet Your Inside Team: How to Turn Internal Conflict into Clarity and Move Forward with Your Life ---------- REGISTRATION FOR MY SIGNATURE GROUP COACHING PROGRAM IS OPEN! Should I Stay or Should I Go? THE 12-WEEK GROUP COACHING PROGRAM THAT WILL HELP YOU MAKE THE BEST DECISION ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE…ONCE AND FOR ALL! LEARN MORE --> https://www.kateanthony.com/stay-or-go-group

I am so excited to share with you my guest interview with Isabel Foxen Duke. I have to admit to being a little bit of a fangirl of Isabel and her work. I have struggled through a lot of the stuff that Isabel is so brilliant with working with women on like weight-cycling, food issues, and emotional eating. She helps women stop feeling crazy around food. So, are you always on the diet wagon or waaaay the f**k off it? I myself have zero neural pathways around healthy thinking or belief systems as far as food goes. Sure, I've learned a few things through therapy and from doing the work, but I still am really early in my own weight recovery journey. I can guess that many of my listeners are in a similar boat. And that's why I invited Isabel to the show. She shares her expertise on letting go of the struggle with food and also offers great insight on weight recovery and its effect on relationship dynamics. Show Highlights Isabel shares openly about her experience with diet culture starting at the age of 3 years old (yes, you read that correctly - she was put on a diet at the age of 3) (5:42 seconds) Letting go of the struggle and how Isabel came to the work she is doing now (21:22) Surrendering to 'bottoming out' and understanding that eating a cookie when you are sad is a-okay (28:55) The delusion of control and how recovery is the process of surrendering over and over again (29:27) What surrendering actually looks and feels like (32:00) Weight restoration, understanding that gaining weight when you stop dieting is completely healthy and recovering from post-diet trauma (33:31) Shame over clothing sizes, body image issues and cutting through your own B.S. rationalizations (45:19) Healthy weight gain post-recovery, its effect on relationships, and being with someone who does not support your recovery (47:20) Dealing with family and friends who you can't divorce and do not understand your weight recovery journey (1:03:20) Learn More About Isabel: Isabel Foxen Duke is the Creator of Stop Fighting Food — a free video training program for women who want to "stop feeling crazy around food." After years of trying to overcome emotional eating, binge-eating and chronic weight-cycling through "traditional" and alternative approaches, Isabel discovered some radical new ways to get women over their "food issues" once and for all — not just by shifting the mindsets of individuals, but by challenging the dominant diet culture as a whole. Her writing and free guide, How To Not Eat Cake, can be found at isabelfoxenduke.com and you can watch her free video training series at stopfightingfood.com. Links: Isabel's websites: http://stopfightingfood.com and http://isabelfoxenduke.com Be sure to check out Isabel's Free Video Training Series, Stop Fighting Food ********* I mentioned in the intro that I have a new webinar coming up: Should You Stay In Your Marriage For Your Kids: Three Truths Revealed. Here's the link to sign up for that!

This week I welcome back returning guest and friend, Quentin Hafner. You may have first heard Quentin in the episode, Should I Stay or Should I Go, which is my most downloaded episode to date! So, since he is such a likeable guy (and a serious rockstar therapist), I thought it would be great to have him back.I often get emails from men who don't know where to turn after being told by their wife that they want a divorce. And, you know what, sometimes I don't really know what to tell them. But I do want to help them. So Quentin joins me to talk about some things men can do (or mindsets to adopt) that may help them save their marriage. Show Highlights Evaluating whether or not there is something you can do to keep your marriage together; aka determining if the "door" truly is closed (8 minutes and 15 seconds) Some reasons a husband may resist fighting for his marriage (10:55) Quentin shares why going through his own divorce was one of the best thing that happened to him (14:12) We learn incredible life lessons through pain; and sometimes there is no way to get through to a partner other than devastation (14:52) Take the early warning signs, seriously (16:39} When your wife asks you to go to therapy with her, go because she may not ask again (18:03) There is a right way and a wrong way to fight for your marriage (20:20) Be willing to work through issues, to change, and to ask for help (23:07) There is nothing more lonely than the feeling of loneliness in a marriage (34:13) Most men are conflict avoidant and why knowing that can help women bring their partner closer to them rather than push them away (36:07) Women need to feel safe and secure before engaging sexually, it is in their DNA (40:42) Quentin shares a little bit about his book, The Black Belt Husband (42:46) Learn More About Quentin: Quentin Hafner is not your ordinary therapist. He works tirelessly to help husbands and wives in relationships to feel massively more content, greater levels of peace, and overall more satisfied to be together than ever before. Quentin helps those struggling with: A marriage on shaky ground and you can't seem to stop fighting. Issues of infidelity or feeling suspicious of trusting your partner. Feeling stagnant or that your marriage is stuck in a rut. Not sure if you should stay together, or end your relationship. As a licensed therapist, Quentin combines his experience, education, and proven results with real-world practical guidance, easy-to-implement tools, and measurable solutions to help people reach their goals and dreams. Quentin is currently launching a month-to-month group coaching program for husbands in which he'll walk men through the Black Belt Husband system, month by month. More info here. Links: Quentin's website: http://quentinhafner.com The Black Belt Husband - the book! Get Her Back freebie Links to Quentin's social channels: https://www.facebook.com/QuentinHafnerTherapy https://www.instagram.com/quentin_hafner

I always love talking to professionals who have been through the process of divorce. So I'm really happy today to have Christina Lynn, of Lynn Financial, join me on the podcast. Christina was a stay-at-home mom until she got divorced. After her divorce, she re-invented herself and went from having nothing to creating a thriving financial practice. She and I have a really great conversation today about some of the biggest financial mistakes that people tend to make when getting divorced. Christina has some really good advice and tips to offer you. She also has a really great story to tell, so listen in! Christina used to be oblivious to her family finances. After reaching her lowest point while unraveling a really complex divorce, however, she decided to invest in educating herself so that she could become the person she needed to be for herself and her kids. She chose to specialize in divorce financial planning. And this changed her life completely. She became a financial consultant, Certified Estate Planner®, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, tax preparer, and retirement planner. The mistakes Christina made in the past now inform and have been translated into solutions for her customers at Lynn Financial. Listen in today to find out what Christina has to share with you about divorce and money. Show Highlights: When Christina filed for divorce, she did pretty much everything wrong. She wanted other people to learn from her experience and from the mistakes she's made. Christina's experience of custody issues. Some mistakes she made at the time of her divorce. Giving dads the space to figure things out for themselves. Being objective about a father's parenting capabilities. Finding your second career later in life — like a phoenix rising from the ashes! Some common financial mistakes women tend to make when getting divorced. Collaborative divorce as an alternative — and it can save you a lot of money too! Christina gives her best financial tip. Employing a team of professionals could cost you less than only relying on your attorney. Some tips for protecting your kids through the divorce process. Christina explains the way that she helps people through the process of divorce. Links: Christina's website: www.lynnfinancialllc.com Christina's email: christina@lynnfinancialllc.com Links to all Christina's social channels: https://www.facebook.com/lynnfinancial/ https://www.instagram.com/lynnfinancial/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4S9-c9ngRYtjgiaf-j_1LQ https://twitter.com/LynnFinancial?lang=en https://www.linkedin.com/in/christina-lynn-365633a0/ For Christina's promotional offer for the educational course, she offers for individuals facing divorce, to help protect their credit and avoid common financial pitfalls. https://lynnfinancialllc.com/overcomer-course-49-promotion/. For listeners, she has reduced the price from $99 to $49.

I am really happy to welcome Robert Kandell as today's guest. Rob has authored a book, called unHIDDEN - A Book for Men and Those Who Are Confused By Them, that will be available very soon. In the meantime, you can download a sample chapter on his website. I did, and something that really struck me about it was the idea of 'coming out'. On the show today Rob explains how you can bridge the communication gap between men and women and really up-level the conversation. He also explains what it is to live an unhidden life and specifically what that means to him. So listen in and find out what Rob has to share about his revolutionary idea of living life unhidden. Rob, who is also an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer, has done a lot of different things. He worked in corporate America, started a business, and owned a small computer shop before going on to build an international eight-figure business based on relationship, intimacy, and sexuality. Rob currently runs a successful consulting firm that is focused on helping small businesses become marketable and profitable. For the last fourteen years, Rob's mission has been to help men find themselves and use their internal power to live their best lives. Rob is the host of the well-known podcast, Tuff Love. Listen in today to find out how it's possible for you to have a life way beyond the life you're living now! Show Highlights: Robert gives a rundown of what it means to live an unhidden life. Why you really need to be smart about the way you live your unhidden life. Robert's recommendation for how to live an unhidden life. Your whole life can grow on one decision to change your status quo. The story of how one honest conversation with his wife in 1998 changed his whole life. Creating a conversation path for the truth to be told- and rewarded. Opening One Taste, an organization about relationship intimacy and sexuality. How to bridge the communication gap between men and women and up-level the conversation. How to know when it's time to change. Taking 100% responsibility in your communication. A different approach to relationship. The difference between the masculine and the feminine in communication. What a guy can do to get back into a woman's good graces. 6000 years of habits and 50 years of epic change for men. We're seeing an epic change in terms of what masculinity used to be, and what it is now. Resources: Recommended books: Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era by Michael Kimmel End of Men: And the Rise of Women by Hanna Rosin Man, Interrupted: Why Young Men are Struggling & What We Can Do About It by Philip Zimbardo Website & Social Media Links: Website: https://www.robertkandell.com Email: robert@kandellconsulting.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kandellconsulting / https://www.facebook.com/robert.kandell Twitter: https://twitter.com/Robertkandell @Robertkandell Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robert.kandell/ @robert.kandell Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertkandell/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA4BLzufNXxgKGUsLVDTnlQ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/robertkandell/pins/

In this engaging discussion, life coach and author Andrea Owen shares her journey through divorce, revealing the unexpected grief that accompanies the loss of in-laws and family connections. She emphasizes the importance of processing these complex emotions, addressing how nostalgia can linger post-divorce. The conversation touches on the impact of conscious uncoupling and the struggles of letting go of familial ties. Andrea encourages embracing courage and resilience, helping women navigate the messy feelings that arise during life's transitions.

The hits just keep on going, don't they? I'm recording this show a few days after the shooting in the synagogue in Pittsburgh. I'm realizing that by the time this show airs, we will have probably been hit by even more atrocities. This is relevant to today's show because I will be discussing trusting your intuition; trusting your gut, and knowing where to find that. I've never specifically identified as Jewish, but I am. I'm half Jewish. Part of the reason I never identified as Jewish is because, at a very young age, I was told I wasn't really Jewish because my mother wasn't Jewish. I learned this partly because I dated a boy at the age of 14 and his parents sent him to Israel for the summer to get him away from me. To be fair, his family members were Orthodox Jews. As many of you know, I am an empath and I am really trying to tap into my intuition, which is linked to my empathy. After the synagogue shooting, I shut down. I actually slept for 10 hours straight, and on Sunday, I was dead to the world. I could hardly function because I was so exhausted. I asked myself in my innermost knowing why I was being so deeply affected by the shooting. The answer I heard was that even though I don't normally identify as Jewish, there was a generational trauma I was experiencing. I looked at the pictures of my Jewish relatives on my wall and thought about my great-grandfather studying the Torah, and about my Russian grandmother who escaped on a refugee ship. The idea that none of this lives in my DNA is silly. I was able to tap into my family history so I could mourn and grieve. Show highlights: Kate shares how the rise of anti-semitism in our country is negatively affecting her personally. Rhian Lockard's class, Divine Communication, is helping Kate to tap into her inner guide, or "inside team." Kate says to reach down deeply inside yourself to answer difficult questions. Ie. Should I leave my relationship, or should I stay? Call in your guides, and ask them the question. What is the first thing that bubbles? That will be your answer. Listen to the part of you that bubbles up. Kate says that when you ask yourself the difficult or scary questions, they will be the most important questions/decisions you will ever make. Hear the bubble pop and just listen. That's how you connect to your inner guides. Trust yourself and trust your inner voices. Connect with Divorce Survival Guide Website Facebook Instagram Watch for Kate's new class coming in 2019. You can sign up now to be one of the first people to find out when it begins. Sign up here.

On the show today, I am thrilled to be joined by my great friend and colleague, Rhian Lockard. Rhian Lockard is a multi-certified life coach, an empath, an ordained interfaith minister, a certified life coach, and an expert on emotional abuse. She currently runs a program called Divine Communication, in which I am enrolled, and it helps you connect with your spirit guide, your intuition, and so much more. Rhian seeks to support people in courageously cultivating their best lives with gentleness, guidance, and love, and feels a calling to her work. Show highlights: Rhian discusses how you can recognize if you're enduring emotional abuse including having a sense of never feeling like things are ok in your relationship. Rhian says one way to judge whether or not a relationship is abusive is to ask yourself if it feels safe to bring up problems you see in the relationship and to be aware that an abuser will seldom admit any fault or will not follow through on working on solutions. Emotional abusers will use your vulnerability against you and will shame you for the ways in which you're asking them to uplift you. Rhian says an abuser wants something different from a romantic relationship than the victim does. An average person wants true connection, true intimacy, and love. Abusers seek someone to be subservient. Emotional abusers may make you feel like you can't spend time with family and friends you love.They want to isolate you from voices of reason. Rhian says that often times, your abuser will strip away your own sense of belief in yourself and make you not trust your own reality. Kate shares that it can be incredibly difficult to leave an abusive relationship and that it often takes someone 8 tries to leave. Kate and Rhian discuss the Kavanaugh hearings and show the dynamics of emotional abuse during them. Rhian suggests to break away incrementally because it may just be too much for you to handle all at once. Tell yourself that you're being emotionally abused, sit with it a while, and tell yourself it is not ok. Rhian says there is no playbook for how you handle this, it's just about what works for you. Kate shares that the very last thing you should do is to go to your abuser and tell him/her that you've figured out they're an abuser. Rhian tells us that your abuser wants all of what you have to give and they do not want you to give it to anyone else. Rhian suggests that if you're serious about getting help, then get help. Don't tell your abuser you're getting help or he/she will dismantle it. Remember...it's not your fault that you're in an abusive situation, but it is your responsibility to save yourself. Seek assistance. Connect with Rhian Lockard: Website Rhian on YouTube Facebook Instagram Am I the Abuser? A video in which Rhian tackles the idea that people have made mistakes in their relationships and therefore feel like they deserve abuse — or worse, might be abusers themselves. Connect with Divorce Survival Guide Website Facebook Instagram To find out more about how I work with clients, click here. To take the two-minute Should I Stay or Should I Go quiz, click here.

In this episode I interview psychologist, author, and speaker, Dr. Valerie Baker who pioneers healing Patriarchy Stress Disorder™ (PSD)--the trauma of 1000s of years of oppression imprinted in women's DNA. Dr. Valerie calls PSD the invisible inner prison that keeps women from experiencing their ultimate success and happiness. In over 20,000 hours of her work as a therapist and coach to successful women, Dr. Valerie has guided thousands of women's PSD jailbreaks. She helps high-achieving women who're sick and tired of sacrificing their health, sanity, and love lives to heal PSD so they can finally marry their professional and personal success and happiness--and fully enjoy it. ********** Discover how Patriarchy Stress Disorder™ (PSD) is affecting you: www.psdandme.com Ready for your PSD jailbreak? Apply for a complementary session with Dr. Valerie Baker to create your jailbreak plan: www.jailbreakstrategy.com Looking for another awesome podcast? Subscribe to Her Success Radio on any podcast app or at www.hersuccessradio.com Find Dr. Valerie on social media: Facebook Instagram

This week I bring on a Divorce Coach who specializes in the legal aspects of divorce. Jason Levoy is a former divorce attorney turned divorce coach who helps people navigate the divorce process from an attorney's point of view. He works with both people who have attorneys and those who don't. He is the creator of the most comprehensive online divorce coaching resource on the internet, DivorceU. You can learn more about Jason at www.jasonlevoy.com. We talk about: The pitfalls of the legal system How to choose the right attorney Whether or not you actually need an attorney for your divorce Divorce as a business transaction and how it doesn't mix with emotions The movie Divorce Corp ...and more!! Jason's special gift to you: How to Co-Parent with an A-Hole! ******************* Where to find Jason: www.jasonlevoy.com Facebook Instagram Twitter LinkedIn Pinterest