One of the most common reasons people stay together is for their children. Depending on your unique situation, this might be the best reason to stay together, or the worst. We're told over and over again that we have to stay for our kids; that children from "broken homes" (I hate that term) do less well in school, are damaged, and grow up to have poor coping and relationship skills. So we try. And we try harder. We bend ourselves into pretzels trying to make this square peg fit in this round hole come hell or high water, because if we don't, our children will suffer, and we will have failed. I call bullshit.

What no one tells you when you sign on for that “partnership agreement” (or “joint venture” as one of my friends calls it) of being at SAHM, is that you end up deeply subjugating yourself. As a stay-at-home-mom, you relinquish almost everything in service of raising your children, while your husband’s path remains fairly unaltered. And that's backed up by research. According to a recent study, women’s standard of living in divorce decreases by 27%, while men’s actually increases by 10%. It’s not just that you’re subjugating yourself financially to your breadwinner husband. Your friendships slip away. Your hobbies. Your body. Your hormones do a crazy dance for far longer than anyone likes to tell you; and all of this lasts far longer — and is far harder to put back together — than you ever think possible.

I received an email not too long ago from a reader who asked: I cheated on my husband. It wasn't a one-time thing, but it's over now. I'm wracked with guilt, but I also know that if I tell my husband, it will destroy him. But I also feel like I should be honest and like I'm keeping a terrible secret, even though I actually feel closer to him now than ever. What should I do? This is certainly a complicated issue many of us have faced. There's a spark of attraction with someone new. Things haven't been quite "right" in your marriage for a long time, and you get swept away in a moment. Or two, or three... Now you're left with the question: should you tell your husband? Here's my take on this, shared by the always awesome Dan Savage, and I'll warn you, it's a bit controversial, and not a perspective shared by everyone.