The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast

This week I’m thrilled to introduce you to Tracey Coates. Tracey has been practicing family law for over 15 years. She is also the host of the podcast, The Divorce Chronicles, a practical resource for those thinking about or in the midst of a divorce.  That last part, it sounds familiar, doesn’t it? Yes, Tracey and I have a lot of similar ideas about the divorce process, which is just one of the many reasons I wanted to have her on the show. In this episode you’ll hear us cover a wide range of topics including the emotional, financial, and legal aspects of divorce.  We also talk about the importance of setting the tone for divorce proceedings and keeping your children’s wellbeing in check, always. We also drop a few reality checks, like how divorce is never a cookie cutter process. Finally, we wrap things up by talking about how to start a discussion with your spouse about wanting a divorce. All of that and more, in this week’s episode.   Show Highlights Setting the tone for divorce proceedings, especially if you are the one handling most of the process and paperwork (10:36) Divorce is a dissolution of a legal contract (your marriage) and managing people throughout the process (11:32) Divorce is not a cookie cutter process - legally or emotionally (13:00) Legal proceedings, what to do and not to do, plus looking forward to your day in court (is it really all you think it will be cracked up to be?) (14:36) Collaborative divorce is NOT the cheaper way to get divorced (24:13) DIY Divorces, what you need to know and why they may not be the best approach (25:36) Budgeting for the end of marriage, including housing, utilities and more (31:07) Navigating your emotions during divorce and beyond (34:02) How to approach the discussion with your spouse about wanting a divorce (36:20) Learn More About Tracey: Tracey Coates is a partner at the law firm of Paley Rothman in Bethesda, Maryland.  She also serves as the Co-Chair of the Family Law department and a member of its Litigation practice group. In addition to being a trained mediator, Tracey volunteers and is a member of the Board of Directors for the D.C. Volunteer Lawyers Project (DCVLP), an organization whose mission is to provide high-quality, free legal services to low-income D.C. residents in family law cases. She provides pro bono legal representation, doing custody, divorce and guardian ad litem work for survivors of domestic violence and children in high-conflict custody cases. Tracey is also the host of the podcast, The Divorce Chronicles, a practical resource for those thinking about or in the midst of a divorce.   Links:Tracey’s website: www.thedivorcechronicles.com Tracey on Instagram: instagram.com/thedivorcechronicles Tracey on Facebook:  The Divorce Chronicles For those in the MD/DC area looking for legal advice/representation --  tracey@paleyrothman.com or (301) 968-3418 (Tracey’s assistant) The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast  - Divorce Financial MistakesMy new program just for men is going into beta on April 1st  - Sign up for details!

Today I have a very special guest on the podcast. Well, I feel like all of my guests are very special. I rarely have anyone on my podcast that I don’t know well, either personally or professionally. It’s important to me to bring to you people I know, trust and believe in their message - today is no exception. It is my pleasure to introduce you to Annie Grace, creator and founder of This Naked Mind. I came to know Annie about five months ago when I found myself questioning my relationship with alcohol. You see, I never drank in my marriage. My ex-husband didn’t drink, so it was never really part of our life together. After my divorce, drinking was one of the first things I turned to and over the years my drinking increased, pretty steadily. About five years ago I first began questioning my relationship with alcohol and checked out a bunch of different AA meetings. I realized pretty quickly that AA wasn’t for me. I just didn’t relate to the stories I heard in AA, and my sober friends and I deemed me, “Not an alcoholic.” At that point I figured I didn’t really have a problem, so I continued on my way. Fast forward to five months ago (about five years after my experience with AA and yes, I was still drinking in excess), I started reading Annie’s book, This Naked Mind.  As soon as I started reading her book, I quit drinking. Why? Her book helped me to understand why I felt the way I did, why I was depressed and why I kept turning to alcohol to get through, well, anything. It was a very eye-opening experience. Of course, I started following Annie’s work religiously and even joined some of her programs. Her work has changed my life in a huge way. And now, she’s here on the podcast! In this episode we talk about the prevalence of drinking in divorce and in mom-culture at large. Plus, we talk about the science behind alcohol use and and its effects on your brain, how your children may be viewing you when you are drunk (and the effect it has on them), as well as navigating your feelings once you’ve quit drinking. When you start to learn about becoming alcohol free (or, AF),  you realize it’s less about deprivation and instead about wanting more for your life. Show Highlights Annie describes what This Naked Mind and The Alcohol Experiment are all about - “We’ve completely coupled and married alcohol with all the pleasant experiences in our lives. It’s really hard to tell if it’s the alcohol that is fun or if we would be having fun anyway.” (7:49) When the label “alcoholic” feels unrelatable to someone who drinks,  it can lead them to feel like they are “off the hook” with their drinking (13:24) The stigma around saying, “I think I drink too much,” and how people assume, when you say that phrase, that you’re an alcoholic (16:18) The truth about alcohol as a substance: it’s addictive no matter who you are, and it’s an anesthetic  (17:20) Alcohol is more addictive when the body and the brain are stressed (18:55) Some real-life examples of how major life transitions can lead to a relationship with alcohol that is not comfortable - becoming a “gray-area drinker” (20:15) Alcohol and depression - the science behind alcohol use and your brain (25:25) How to navigate the wave of emotions that come after you’ve quit drinking (35:02) The importance of becoming unafraid of silence - “If we can be in silence with ourselves, even if it hurts, so often we discover some really beautiful truths. Alcohol numbs that entire experience and the ability to really get to know and love yourself.” (40:05) An important distinction between sadness and depression - they are not the same thing (42:51) Mommy juice messaging: the messages aimed at women about alcohol and wine (45:43) The lowdown on all the studies that say alcohol is good for us (53:28) REGISTRATION FOR MY SIGNATURE GROUP COACHING PROGRAM IS OPEN! Should I Stay or Should I Go? THE 12-WEEK GROUP COACHING PROGRAM THAT WILL HELP YOU MAKE THE BEST DECISION ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE…ONCE AND FOR ALL!  MORE INFO HERE   Learn More About Annie Grace: Annie Grace grew up in a one-room log cabin without running water or electricity outside of Aspen, Colorado. She discovered a passion for marketing and after graduating with a Masters of Science (Marketing) she dove into corporate life. At the age of 26, Annie was the youngest vice president in a multinational company, and her drinking career began in earnest. At 35, in a global C-level marketing role, she was responsible for marketing in 28 countries and drinking almost two bottles of wine a night. Knowing she needed a change but unwilling to submit to a life of deprivation and stigma, Annie set out to find a painless way to regain control. Annie no longer drinks and has never been happier. She left her executive role to write her first book, This Naked Mind and share This Naked Mind with the world. In her free time, Annie loves to ski, travel (26 countries and counting), and enjoy her beautiful family. Annie lives with her husband, two sons, and daughter  in the Colorado mountains. Links: Annie’s website: http://thisnakedmind.com Annie’s book: This Naked Mind The Alcohol Experiment Annie on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thisnakedmind/ Annie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thisnakedmind/?hl=en

This week’s guest is Silvy Khoucasian. She is a Relationship Coach who specializes in attachment styles as well as creating healthy boundaries. I invited her onto my podcast with the hope of having a rich conversation about attachment styles. Oh and we absolutely did have a rich and amazing conversation! If you are thinking, “Alright, Kate, what’s up with attachment styles and why are they important?” Well, our attachment styles are deeply rooted and can have a dramatic impact on the way we relate to someone as an adult. Yes, it always goes back to relationships, doesn’t it?   Speaking of relationships… do you find yourself feeling triggered by your partner? Do you then project past hurts onto them (or maybe it’s the other way around)? If so, learning your attachment style and that of your partner can help you understand why you both react in certain ways (and what you can do about it). Silvy also takes us through the three different attachment styles and explains why they matter. Plus, we talk about why owning our needs is so important, including creating healthy boundaries, and what role family culture plays in attachment styles. Attachment styles can make or break a relationship without awareness of them. So let’s become aware. Show Highlights The main framework for attachment styles and the three primary styles (06:25) How attachment styles manifest later in life, what they have to do with our current relationships and why attachment styles even matter (8:18) Why we tend to choose partners that trigger us and what we can do about it (13:34) Making sense of our story, allowing ourselves to grieve pain, neglect, and abandonment we experienced as a child (14:12) How to you figure out your attachment style (16:19) The importance of getting curious about your partner’s attachment style and validating him/her for their attachment style (21:34) Why owning what we need is so important (23:53) Understanding attachment styles help us create healthy relationships, plus having empathy for their opposite style (30:40) Modeling vulnerability opens up more influence with your partner (33:36) The importance of having your partner show up in the work with you (38:10) Starting the conversation about boundaries (38:39) How family culture influences our attachment styles (49:52) What avoidant or anxious attachers struggle with the most (57:07) Learn More About Silvy: Silvy has a long-running love affair with helping struggling couples create genuine connection.   She has a Master’s Degree in Psychology (Marriage & Family Therapy) and a bachelors in Sociology.   Growing up in the USA as a young immigrant from the Middle East, Silvy has always been fascinated by the critical role family cultures play in intimate relationships.   She specializes in her work with attachment styles as well as creating healthy boundaries. Silvy also has a background in theatrical arts, which allows her to use art & drama therapy in helping clients reclaim lost or suppressed parts of themselves.   Links: Silvy’s website: http://www.silvykhoucasian.com/ Follow Silvy on Instagram for some free, daily relationship advice: https://www.instagram.com/silvykhoucasian/ Grab her Practical Communication Program, here: bit.ly/PracticalCommunication Attachment Style Test recommended by Silvy:http://secureinlove.com/my-love-style-quiz/

This week I am so excited to introduce you to Cynthia Loy Darst. Cynthia is a Co-Active Coach, relationship worker and keynote speaker. She is also the author of the book, Meet Your Inside Team: How to Turn Internal Conflict into Clarity and Move Forward with Your Life. Cynthia holds a very special place in my heart. She was my first coach and mentor when I began my own coaching journey. The entire foundation for what I do today, I owe to her. Having her on my podcast is such a special treat. So do you ever have that inner voice that says, “Who the hell do you think you are?,”  when you are about to make a massive change (like say... divorce)? It’s a nasty voice, one you don’t want to hear.  Well in this episode Cynthia teaches us how to turn towards that inner voice ( which she calls the inner bully) and ask it, with compassion, “What do you need? What’s going on here?” She teaches us how to slow down our inner dialogue and start to find our way forward with kindness, clarity, and grace. In addition we talk about navigating myth change (moving from one phase of life to the next), transitioning relationships and grieving the disappointed dream. This week’s episode is definitely one that asks you to look inward and do the work to uncover the many aspects of yourself. Show Highlights The concept of her new book, Meet Your Inside Team and the importance of slowing down your inner dialogue (10:21) Tuning into the players that make up your inside team (aka inner dialogue) (13:34) Knowing when to slow down and listen to your inside team (15:26) Grounding yourself in your adult self and listening without getting freaked out (22:27) Cynthia shares some examples of exercises you can find in the book Meet Your Inside Team that will help uncover your different inside team players (27:30) Being curious and the importance of curiosity for each player (28:54) How to stay in an objective frame in mind when you are scared or triggered (29:58) Honoring the process of divorce (42:20) Transitioning relationships and myth change; when we change a narrative there is something we gain and something we lose (44:11) The disappointed dream: mourning the loss of the dream and myth change (49:35) Any large transition like divorce requires a lot of patience (55:22) Learn More About Cynthia: Cynthia Loy Darst is a Co-Active Coach, a relationship worker, keynote speaker, author, provocateur (emcee), course leader, coach trainer, talent scout, leader developer & trainer, team and large group facilitator, business consultant, media guest, and workshop creator. She has been a Front of the Room Leader for CTI (The Coaches Training Institute) and CRR Global, since each of them began, and has played an active role in leader development for both schools. Whether she is  working with individuals, partnerships, leaders or teams, she is  always focused on awareness, growth, and development. Cynthia works with people from all walks of life: CEOs to chiropractors, singers to Silicon Valley pros, teams that produce documentaries to sales teams in the insurance industry.  She loves to explore their unique strengths and challenges and work with them to become ever more effective in their work and their world. Links: Cynthia’s website: TeamDarst.comCynthia on social media: Facebook, LinkedIn, and TwitterTeam Darst on social media: FacebookCynthia’s TEDx Talk: Safe Inside Yourself Meet Your Inside Team: How to Turn Internal Conflict into Clarity and Move Forward with Your Life ---------- REGISTRATION FOR MY SIGNATURE GROUP COACHING PROGRAM IS OPEN! Should I Stay or Should I Go? THE 12-WEEK GROUP COACHING PROGRAM THAT WILL HELP YOU MAKE THE BEST DECISION ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE…ONCE AND FOR ALL!  LEARN MORE --> https://www.kateanthony.com/stay-or-go-group  

I am so excited to share with you my guest interview with Isabel Foxen Duke. I have to admit to being a little bit of a fangirl of Isabel and her work. I have struggled through a lot of the stuff that Isabel is so brilliant with working with women on like weight-cycling, food issues, and emotional eating. She helps women stop feeling crazy around food. So, are you always on the diet wagon or waaaay the f**k off it? I myself have zero neural pathways around healthy thinking or belief systems as far as food goes. Sure, I’ve learned a few things through therapy and from doing the work, but I still am really early in my own weight recovery journey.  I can guess that many of my listeners are in a similar boat. And that’s why I invited Isabel to the show. She shares her expertise on letting go of the struggle with food and also offers great insight on weight recovery and its effect on relationship dynamics. Show Highlights Isabel shares openly about her experience with diet culture starting at the age of 3 years old (yes, you read that correctly - she was put on a diet at the age of 3) (5:42 seconds) Letting go of the struggle and how Isabel came to the work she is doing now (21:22) Surrendering to ‘bottoming out’ and understanding that eating a cookie when you are sad is a-okay (28:55) The delusion of control and how recovery is the process of surrendering over and over again (29:27) What surrendering actually looks and feels like (32:00) Weight restoration, understanding that gaining weight when you stop dieting is completely healthy and recovering from post-diet trauma (33:31) Shame over clothing sizes, body image issues and cutting through your own B.S. rationalizations (45:19) Healthy weight gain post-recovery, its effect on relationships, and being with someone who does not support your recovery (47:20) Dealing with family and friends who you can’t divorce and do not understand your weight recovery journey (1:03:20) Learn More About Isabel: Isabel Foxen Duke is the Creator of Stop Fighting Food — a free video training program for women who want to "stop feeling crazy around food." After years of trying to overcome emotional eating, binge-eating and chronic weight-cycling through "traditional" and alternative approaches, Isabel discovered some radical new ways to get women over their "food issues" once and for all — not just by shifting the mindsets of individuals, but by challenging the dominant diet culture as a whole. Her writing and free guide, How To Not Eat Cake, can be found at isabelfoxenduke.com and you can watch her free video training series at stopfightingfood.com.   Links: Isabel’s websites: http://stopfightingfood.com and http://isabelfoxenduke.com Be sure to check out Isabel’s Free Video Training Series, Stop Fighting Food ********* I mentioned in the intro that I have a new webinar coming up: Should You Stay In Your Marriage For Your Kids: Three Truths Revealed. Here's the link to sign up for that!

This week I welcome back returning guest and friend, Quentin Hafner. You may have first heard Quentin in the episode, Should I Stay or Should I Go, which is my most downloaded episode to date! So, since he is such a likeable guy (and a serious rockstar therapist), I thought it would be great to have him back.I often get emails from men who don’t know where to turn after being told by their wife that they want a divorce. And, you know what, sometimes I don’t really know what to tell them. But I do want to help them. So Quentin joins me to talk about some things men can do (or mindsets to adopt) that may help them save their marriage. Show Highlights Evaluating whether or not there is something you can do to keep your marriage together; aka determining if the “door” truly is closed (8 minutes and 15 seconds) Some reasons a husband may resist fighting for his marriage (10:55) Quentin shares why going through his own divorce was one of the best thing that happened to him (14:12) We learn incredible life lessons through pain; and sometimes there is no way to get through to a partner other than devastation (14:52) Take the early warning signs, seriously (16:39} When your wife asks you to go to therapy with her, go because she may not ask again (18:03) There is a right way and a wrong way to fight for your marriage (20:20) Be willing to work through issues, to change, and to ask for help (23:07) There is nothing more lonely than the feeling of loneliness in a marriage (34:13) Most men are conflict avoidant and why knowing that can help women bring their partner closer to them rather than push them away (36:07) Women need to feel safe and secure before engaging sexually, it is in their DNA (40:42) Quentin shares a little bit about his book, The Black Belt Husband (42:46) Learn More About Quentin: Quentin Hafner is not your ordinary therapist. He works tirelessly to help husbands and wives in relationships to feel massively more content, greater levels of peace, and overall more satisfied to be together than ever before. Quentin helps those struggling with: A marriage on shaky ground and you can’t seem to stop fighting. Issues of infidelity or feeling suspicious of trusting your partner. Feeling stagnant or that your marriage is stuck in a rut. Not sure if you should stay together, or end your relationship. As a licensed therapist, Quentin combines his experience, education, and proven results with real-world practical guidance, easy-to-implement tools, and measurable solutions to help people reach their goals and dreams. Quentin is currently launching a month-to-month group coaching program for husbands in which he’ll walk men through the Black Belt Husband system, month by month. More info here. Links: Quentin’s website: http://quentinhafner.com The Black Belt Husband - the book! Get Her Back freebie Links to Quentin’s social channels: https://www.facebook.com/QuentinHafnerTherapy https://www.instagram.com/quentin_hafner  

I always love talking to professionals who have been through the process of divorce. So I'm really happy today to have Christina Lynn, of Lynn Financial, join me on the podcast. Christina was a stay-at-home mom until she got divorced. After her divorce, she re-invented herself and went from having nothing to creating a thriving financial practice. She and I have a really great conversation today about some of the biggest financial mistakes that people tend to make when getting divorced. Christina has some really good advice and tips to offer you. She also has a really great story to tell, so listen in! Christina used to be oblivious to her family finances. After reaching her lowest point while unraveling a really complex divorce, however, she decided to invest in educating herself so that she could become the person she needed to be for herself and her kids. She chose to specialize in divorce financial planning. And this changed her life completely. She became a financial consultant, Certified Estate Planner®, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, tax preparer, and retirement planner. The mistakes Christina made in the past now inform and have been translated into solutions for her customers at Lynn Financial. Listen in today to find out what Christina has to share with you about divorce and money. Show Highlights: When Christina filed for divorce, she did pretty much everything wrong. She wanted other people to learn from her experience and from the mistakes she's made.  Christina's experience of custody issues. Some mistakes she made at the time of her divorce. Giving dads the space to figure things out for themselves. Being objective about a father's parenting capabilities. Finding your second career later in life — like a phoenix rising from the ashes! Some common financial mistakes women tend to make when getting divorced. Collaborative divorce as an alternative — and it can save you a lot of money too! Christina gives her best financial tip. Employing a team of professionals could cost you less than only relying on your attorney. Some tips for protecting your kids through the divorce process. Christina explains the way that she helps people through the process of divorce. Links: Christina's website:  www.lynnfinancialllc.com   Christina's email: christina@lynnfinancialllc.com Links to all Christina's social channels: https://www.facebook.com/lynnfinancial/ https://www.instagram.com/lynnfinancial/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4S9-c9ngRYtjgiaf-j_1LQ https://twitter.com/LynnFinancial?lang=en https://www.linkedin.com/in/christina-lynn-365633a0/   For Christina's promotional offer for the educational course, she offers for individuals facing divorce, to help protect their credit and avoid common financial pitfalls. https://lynnfinancialllc.com/overcomer-course-49-promotion/.  For listeners, she has reduced the price from $99 to $49.    

I am really happy to welcome Robert Kandell as today's guest. Rob has authored a book, called unHIDDEN - A Book for Men and Those Who Are Confused By Them, that will be available very soon. In the meantime, you can download a sample chapter on his website. I did, and something that really struck me about it was the idea of 'coming out'. On the show today Rob explains how you can bridge the communication gap between men and women and really up-level the conversation. He also explains what it is to live an unhidden life and specifically what that means to him. So listen in and find out what Rob has to share about his revolutionary idea of living life unhidden. Rob, who is also an accomplished teacher, coach, and lecturer, has done a lot of different things. He worked in corporate America, started a business, and owned a small computer shop before going on to build an international eight-figure business based on relationship, intimacy, and sexuality. Rob currently runs a successful consulting firm that is focused on helping small businesses become marketable and profitable. For the last fourteen years, Rob’s mission has been to help men find themselves and use their internal power to live their best lives. Rob is the host of the well-known podcast, Tuff Love. Listen in today to find out how it's possible for you to have a life way beyond the life you're living now!  Show Highlights: Robert gives a rundown of what it means to live an unhidden life. Why you really need to be smart about the way you live your unhidden life. Robert's recommendation for how to live an unhidden life. Your whole life can grow on one decision to change your status quo. The story of how one honest conversation with his wife in 1998 changed his whole life. Creating a conversation path for the truth to be told- and rewarded. Opening One Taste, an organization about relationship intimacy and sexuality. How to bridge the communication gap between men and women and up-level the conversation. How to know when it's time to change. Taking 100% responsibility in your communication. A different approach to relationship. The difference between the masculine and the feminine in communication. What a guy can do to get back into a woman's good graces. 6000 years of habits and 50 years of epic change for men. We're seeing an epic change in terms of what masculinity used to be, and what it is now. Resources: Recommended books: Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era by Michael Kimmel  End of Men: And the Rise of Women by Hanna Rosin Man, Interrupted: Why Young Men are Struggling & What We Can Do About It by Philip Zimbardo   Website & Social Media Links: Website: https://www.robertkandell.com Email:  robert@kandellconsulting.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kandellconsulting / https://www.facebook.com/robert.kandell Twitter: https://twitter.com/Robertkandell @Robertkandell Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robert.kandell/ @robert.kandell Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/robertkandell/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCA4BLzufNXxgKGUsLVDTnlQ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/robertkandell/pins/

I'm super excited to bring you my latest podcast episode with my dear friend Andrea Owen of Your Kick-Ass Life.  I've been a guest on Andrea's podcast quite a number of times now, so I feel honored to finally have her on mine! Andrea and I have spoken many times privately over the years about the grief that goes along with divorce, most importantly the unexpected grief of losing precious extended family. For both Andrea and me, our in-laws were very much like a family we'd never had, and we were both completely taken by surprise by how much losing them in our divorces ripped us apart. (Spoiler, the fact that I have a kid has helped me stay connected to my in-laws, while not having kids with her first husband gave no reason for Andrea to stay connected to hers.) Andrea is a life coach, an author, and a hell-raiser, with a passion for empowering women to value themselves and to fiercely love who they are. She helps high-achieving women to let go of perfectionism, control, and isolation- and choose courage and confidence instead. Listen in today to hear what Andrea has to share with you about dealing with the difficult emotions that result from going through a divorce. Show Highlights: Andrea shares her divorce story. Coping with the grief of losing a dream — and a family. The idea of conscious uncoupling was not yet on the table when Andrea and I got divorced and that impacted both of our experiences. Most of us don't want to deal with grief so it follows us everywhere and becomes a weight on our shoulders. The importance of communicating through transitions — including with your in-laws. The importance of setting and holding really firm boundaries throughout your divorce with all the various people in your life and family. Coping with guilt and shame. Taking responsibility for your mistakes can help prevent creating negative patterns in future relationships. We talk about how 12-step work has helped both of us, and how learning about our character defects has been really helpful to our growth. Andrea, who is certified in the work of Brené Brown, teaches Shame Resilience. Resources: “The only thing more unthinkable than leaving was staying; the only thing more impossible than staying was leaving.” Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Links: Andrea's website: www.yourkickasslife.com Andrea's podcast: http://yourkickasslife.com/blog/ Kate’s episodes on Andrea’s podcast: An Honest Conversation about Body Image with Kate Anthony An Honest Conversation about Body Image with Kate Anthony, Part Deux Andrea and Kate on Rape Culture Andrea and Kate on Rape Culture, Part Deux

The hits just keep on going, don’t they? I’m recording this show a few days after the shooting in the synagogue in Pittsburgh. I’m realizing that by the time this show airs, we will have probably been hit by even more atrocities. This is relevant to today’s show because I will be discussing trusting your intuition; trusting your gut, and knowing where to find that. I’ve never specifically identified as Jewish, but I am. I’m half Jewish. Part of the reason I never identified as Jewish is because, at a very young age, I was told I wasn’t really Jewish because my mother wasn’t Jewish. I learned this partly because I dated a boy at the age of 14 and his parents sent him to Israel for the summer to get him away from me. To be fair, his family members were Orthodox Jews. As many of you know, I am an empath and I am really trying to tap into my intuition, which is linked to my empathy. After the synagogue shooting, I shut down. I actually slept for 10 hours straight, and on Sunday, I was dead to the world. I could hardly function because I was so exhausted. I asked myself in my innermost knowing why I was being so deeply affected by the shooting. The answer I heard was that even though I don’t normally identify as Jewish, there was a generational trauma I was experiencing. I looked at the pictures of my Jewish relatives on my wall and thought about my great-grandfather studying the Torah, and about my Russian grandmother who escaped on a refugee ship. The idea that none of this lives in my DNA is silly. I was able to tap into my family history so I could mourn and grieve.    Show highlights: Kate shares how the rise of anti-semitism in our country is negatively affecting her personally. Rhian Lockard’s class, Divine Communication, is helping Kate to tap into her inner guide, or “inside team.” Kate says to reach down deeply inside yourself to answer difficult questions. Ie. Should I leave my relationship, or should I stay? Call in your guides, and ask them the question. What is the first thing that bubbles? That will be your answer. Listen to the part of you that bubbles up. Kate says that when you ask yourself the difficult or scary questions, they will be the most important questions/decisions you will ever make. Hear the bubble pop and just listen. That’s how you connect to your inner guides. Trust yourself and trust your inner voices.   Connect with Divorce Survival Guide Website Facebook Instagram Watch for Kate’s new class coming in 2019. You can sign up now to be one of the first people to find out when it begins. Sign up here.