Attention Different | Adulting with ADHD

Why do New Year’s resolutions fall apart so fast for ADHD brains?What if the problem isn’t motivation, but how we define success?In this Attention Different roundtable, Stephen Tonti, Aaron Smith, and Devin Pitts-Rogers get honest about goals, follow-through, and why “trying harder” rarely works for neurodivergent adults.This wide-ranging, candid conversation digs underneath surface-level habits and into what actually drives consistency: values, identity-based goals, energy management, and focusing on process over outcomes. From abandoned language apps and inconsistent gym routines to bass lessons, injuries, and unrealistic expectations, the group explores why intrinsic motivation isn’t reliable and what does help.✨ Highlights:✔️ Why process goals work better than outcome goals✔️ How values and identity shape sustainable habits✔️ Energy management vs. time management✔️ Why perfectionism quietly kills momentum✔️ Practical tools like habit stacking, accountability, and flexible structure✔️ Why failure isn’t the opposite of progress—it’s part of itThis episode is for anyone who’s ever thought: “I know what I want to do… so why can’t I follow through?”🎧 Listen now and rethink goals, growth, and success on your terms.Send us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

🧠 This is the part where habits get real.Part Two of the Winter Park Fireside Chats goes beyond setting intentions and dives into the hardest ADHD question of all:What actually has to change for this to stick?Around the fire, we talk openly about:Habits that quietly turned self-destructiveRelapse and why it doesn’t mean failureSobriety, substances, and self-compassionWhy consistency is hard… and persistence matters moreHow boundaries (with phones, people, and ourselves) protect energyLetting go of shame without letting go of accountabilityThis episode is all about resetting without spiraling, noticing patterns without judgment, and building habits that support the life you actually want, not the one you think you should want.✨ Highlights:✔️ Why ADHD brains are “consistently inconsistent” and how persistence bridges the gap✔️ How anger, compassion, and fed-up moments can spark real change✔️ The difference between destructive habits and unmet needs✔️ Externalizing support: accountability partners, visual cues, structure that lives outside your head✔️ Why relapse doesn’t erase progress, it clarifies itThis conversation is raw, funny, uncomfortable, and deeply human, just like ADHD itself.💬 If you’ve ever said “I was doing so well… and then I messed it up” — this episode is for you.🎧 Watch Part One & Part Two now on Attention DifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

🔥 New Year. Old Patterns. Real ADHD Conversations.Part 1 of the Winter Park Fireside Chats brings everyday ADHD adults together, in the mountains and without scripts or shame, to talk about what actually happens after the New Year starts.We dig into:Why resolutions fall apartHow burnout sneaks inThe difference between outcome goals and process goalsWhy accountability matters more than motivationAnd how ADHD brains need energy management, not just time managementThis isn’t a “New Year, New You” pep talk, it’s a grounded, honest conversation about resetting without self-punishment, building routines that recharge you, and letting go of all-or-nothing thinking.✨ Highlights:✔️ Why process goals stick when outcome goals don’t✔️ How burnout shows up when life becomes “work → couch → repeat”✔️ The power of saying your goals out loud (even when it’s terrifying)✔️ Why failure isn’t the end—it’s data✔️ How ADHD adults can reset any day, not just January 1\Set in Tabernash, Colorado, high in the Rocky Mountains, this Fireside Chat is a reminder that you’re not broken, you’re not behind, and you don’t have to do this alone.🧠💬 If you’ve ever struggled with follow-through, routines, relapse, or burnout—this conversation is for you.🎧 Watch Part One & Part Two now on Attention DifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 What happens when you build a tool for yourself… and suddenly thousands of ADHDers want it too?In this episode of the Attention Different Podcast, we sit down with Marie Ng — founder of Llama Life, the task management app designed specifically for ADHD brains — to explore her journey from corporate burnout to self-taught developer to accidental entrepreneur.Marie shares how she taught herself to code by watching YouTube videos during the 2020 Melbourne lockdown, originally just trying to build something to help herself manage ADHD time blindness, executive dysfunction, and the never-ending cycle of making lists she couldn't complete.But when she posted an early prototype on Twitter, strangers immediately asked: "Where can I get this?"What started as a personal coding project became Llama Life — a to-do app built around momentum. From open-plan office struggles to a beautiful story about how the ADHD community rallied around her when she needed it most, Marie's story is one of purpose, resilience, and building something that actually serves the brain you have — not the one society expects.✨ HighlightsWhy short timers (1–5 min) work better than 25-minute Pomodoros for ADHD brainsHow Parkinson's Law (work expands to fill the time given) applies to micro-tasksThe genius of total time tracking to prevent overcommitting and shame spiralsWhy she can't "eat the frog" — and why building momentum with small wins is the real secretWhat it's like to run a business while managing RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria), customer criticism, and the emotional weight of building in publicHow body doubling (even virtually through social media accountability) kept her goingThe ADHD tax — when fighting for $2,500 feels harder than just letting it goWhy surrounding yourself with ADHD friends changes everythingHer late adult diagnosis in New York after years of corporate masking, and what radical acceptance looks like now📺 Watch the full episode at YouTube.com/@attentiondifferent🔗 Connect with Marie NgInstagram (Personal): @threehourcoffeeInstagram (Llama Life): @llamalife.coDownload Llama Life: Search "Llama Life" in the iOS App Store or Google PlaySend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 What really happens inside an ADHD relationship, and how do couples break the cycle?In this episode of the Attention Different Podcast, we sit down with Melissa Orlov — leading expert on ADHD-impacted relationships and author of The ADHD Effect on Marriage — to unpack the hidden patterns that shape communication, emotional safety, conflict, and partnership when ADHD is in the mix.Melissa breaks down the core ADHD relationship cycle: how inconsistent executive functioning, forgetfulness, time blindness, and overwhelm collide with a non-ADHD partner’s anxiety, hyper-responsibility, or fear — creating a painful parent–child dynamic that neither partner wants, yet both fall into.From medication safety and car-seat arguments to missed transitions and chore distribution, Melissa brings clarity, compassion, and actionable guidance to the hardest issues couples face.She shows how to shift from “managing your partner’s ADHD” (impossible) → to managing the system together, based on strengths, safety, and radical acceptance.And importantly, she explores the difference between:- Wants- Desires- Deal breakers … and how understanding these distinctions can save a relationship rather than sink it.✨ Highlights✔️ Why ADHD partners don’t “forget on purpose” (and why it still feels personal)✔️ How resentment builds when one partner becomes the “manager”✔️ Why you can’t make your partner change (but you can redesign the system together)✔️ The difference between equal and equitable in household roles✔️ How radical acceptance creates connection, not resignation✔️ Why ownership, not control, is the foundation of healthy partnershipThis episode is for anyone who’s ever asked: “Is this a relationship problem… or an ADHD pattern I don’t understand yet?”📺 Watch the full conversation with Melissa Orlov on Attention Different YouTube:👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 Hold on tightly, let go lightly.Sometimes the hardest part of ADHD adulting is figuring out which habits help us, and which ones quietly harm us.In this Fireside Chat, we sit down with Lindsay Pitre—director, producer, twin, and lifelong ADHDer—to explore the New Year tension between resolutions, routines, relapse, and real-life coping. Diagnosed in her teens and now navigating her 30s, Lindsay reflects on the habits she clings to for comfort (like her beloved Diet Coke), the ones she’s learning to release, and the decades-long journey of building real coping mechanisms after years of being handed only medication.In this inspiring talk, we dig into the emotional anchors behind our behaviors, the social pressure to fit in, and the often-overlooked health implications ADHDers face—from impulsive habits to addiction-adjacent coping. Lindsay’s story moves from humor, to honesty, to a deeper truth: some habits protect us, some soothe us, and some slowly hurt us. And, learning the difference is the work of adulting.✨ Highlights ✨ ✔️ADHD “comfort habits” and how they form (Diet Coke, nicotine, sugar, etc.) ✔️Why overstimulation hits ADHDers harder, and how Lindsay masks in large rooms ✔️“Hold on tightly, let go lightly”: the habits worth keeping and worth releasing ✔️How impulsivity and compulsive behavior impact long-term health ✔️Relapse, self-compassion, and learning not to shame yourself ✔️Why support systems, therapists, and healthy partners matterThis episode is for anyone who’s ever said: “I know this habit isn’t helping me… but it’s the only thing keeping me steady.”📺 Watch the full Fireside Chat with Lindsay Pitre now on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 Sometimes the most effective way to stay consistent with ADHD is to gamify your routines so progress feels rewarding, not punishing.In this episode of Late, Not Less, host Devin Pitts-Rogers sits down with Casey Henderson—humanist, autodidact, disabled veteran, and proud ADHD enthusiast—to explore how adults with ADHD can create structure through external systems, gamification, and intentional strategy rather than willpower or shame.Casey shares how rediscovering his ADHD diagnosis in adulthood reframed everything, from financial planning and energy management to how he sets goals, stays consistent, and navigates chronic pain. Together, they break down why neurodivergent adults thrive when structure is visible, playful, and self-designed.Together, Devin and Casey unpack how ADHD shows up in daily life, from work and relationships to caffeine habits, market obsession, and the art of staying grounded in an overstimulated world.✨ Highlights ✨ ☑️ Why ADHD adults thrive with externalized systems and gamified goals. ☑️ How pain, distraction, and ambition coexist in neurodivergent lives. ☑️ The overlap between ADHD focus patterns and financial strategy. ☑️ Why “long-term play” thinking can be an ADHD strength. ☑️ The power of radical acceptance and finding peace with imperfection.More than an ADHD story, this is a reminder to build systems that work for your brain, not the one the world expects from you.📺 Watch the full episode of Late, Not Less on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 "I have a habit of lying to myself and telling myself it's self-care."What if the comfort zone you've built is actually keeping you from the life you want?In this Fireside Chat, we sit down with Sam—an HR professional at a Big Four consulting firm who was diagnosed with ADHD at 38. She opens up about flying under the radar as a "daydreamer type," the unique ways ADHD shows up in women, and her journey to building the connected, authentic life she's been searching for as she approaches 40.🌲 Filmed in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado, this conversation explores the gap between self-care and avoidance, the power of saying yes when it's easier to stay home, and why coping strategies often look like success from the outside.✨ Highlights ✨🏠 Why looking "organized" doesn't mean you don't have ADHD—it means you've mastered coping strategies. 👥 The post-COVID comfort trap: when staying home feels like self-care but keeps you from community. 🎯 Process goals vs. outcome goals: Why "saying yes to new things" matters more than the end result. 💭 How ADHD in women gets missed. 🌱 Radical acceptance as a non-linear journey: three steps forward, two steps back—and that's still progress.This episode is for anyone who's ever cancelled plans an hour before, justified it as "overwhelm," and wondered why they can't seem to build the community they crave.📺 Watch the full Fireside Chat with Sam now on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

ADHD isn't just about converting intentions into actions—it's about learning to make the conversion easier, more honest, and a whole lot less painful.In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Ari Tuckman—psychologist, author of five books (including the brand new ADHD Productivity Manual), international presenter, and longtime friend and colleague. Ari has been a profound thought leader in our ADHD community for over a decade, and this conversation is packed with his trademark wisdom, humor, and actionable strategies.From managing shame spirals and pre-deciding your way out of temptation, to understanding why "by the time you feel it, it's too late," Ari breaks down the real mechanics of ADHD in everyday life.This episode is equal parts validating, practical, and deeply relatable. Whether you're struggling to start, finish, or simply show up as the person you want to be, Ari's insights will help you close that gap between intention and action.✨ Highlights ✨ADHD as a disorder of converting intentions into actions—and why that matters more than attention aloneThe art of pre-deciding: how to set yourself up before temptation strikes"By the time you feel it, it's too late"—on deadlines, dopamine, and time machinesWhy shame and guilt make everything harder (and how to interrupt the spiral)Bite the bullet: accepting that the task may be mandatory, but the suffering isn'tManaging your environment > relying on willpowerThe lies we tell ourselves: "I'll remember it," "This will only take a minute," and the sneaky power of the word "just"How feeling the future can help you act in the presentWhy your ADHD doesn't invent new problems—it just exacerbates the universal onesThis episode is for anyone trying to show up as the person they intend to be, one decision at a time. We're already plotting part two, because there's so much more to unpack with Ari.🌐 Find Ari online: AdultADHDBook.com 🎟️ Join us IRL: CHADD ADHD Conference | Kansas City | November 15–17 | TheADHDConference.org📺 Watch the full conversation with Dr. Ari Tuckman now on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent

💡 Why are so many adults suddenly getting diagnosed with ADHD, and what does it mean for our future?Today, hosts Stephen Tonti and Aaron Smith dive into one of the biggest mental health shifts of our time: the massive rise in adult ADHD diagnoses since the pandemic.From telehealth loosening restrictions to TikTok stories going viral, from parents realizing their kids’ struggles mirrored their own to women reporting symptoms at historic rates—the numbers are staggering. New adult ADHD diagnoses rose 53.8% between 2019 and 2021, with women seeing an 84% increase, and adults aged 30-45 experiencing a jaw-dropping 91% rise.But behind the stats are lived realities. This episode gets real about:Why ADHD self-disclosure has become normalized (and what’s lost when stigma drops).How telehealth changed the landscape, opening access while raising questions of misdiagnosis.ADHD vs. Autism traits: where they overlap, where they diverge, and what “AuDHD” means for adults today.Emotional dysregulation, rejection sensitivity, and why neurodivergent adults are more vulnerable in chaotic times.The hard truth about boredom, pain, and self-soothing—why ADHDers often struggle with substances and overstimulation.This is more than a conversation about statistics: it’s about identity, community, and what it means to live through an era where ADHD is finally being seen, named, and understood.📺 Watch the full roundtable now on Attention Different YouTube: 👉 youtube.com/@attentiondifferentSend us a textWe are Attention DIFFERENT not DEFICIT An advocacy and edutainment podcast centered on radical acceptance and neurodiveristy. Attention Different aims to de-stigmatize and build community by exploring the intricacies of living life and "adulting" with ADHD in the modern world. We periodically feature experts, special guests and influencers in the ADHD community.If you enjoy the podcast please like, share, and subscribe! --------------------------------------------------------------------Subscribe to our YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV0lWgdvEhaI4p5MyxM5w3A?sub_confirmation=1--------------------------------------------------------------------Follow all of these if you want to be inspired in your ADHD journey• Website - https://www.attentiondifferent.com• Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/attention_different• Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/attndifferent• X - https://www.x.com/attndifferent