Three Bean Salad

A rambling journey through disappointing orchard fruit, family trees, dubious aristocratic legends, and the terrifying possibilities of royal succession. Along the way come Jemima Nicholas, orangutan monarchs, Kiefer Sutherland, a Bradley Walsh dynasty, theatre rats, live animals, Minions, and an unusually ambitious Sean Bean-themed toilet refurbishment.

Saddle up for a ramble through Western nostalgia, from Bonanza and John Wayne to Welsh fascination with America, frontier myths, masculinity, and suspiciously absent trails. Things then veer into a concierge-run sex ring, a naked bicycle ride, dog waste in a bike basket, and the eternal struggle for urban parking.

A forbidden fifth Wednesday sparks mock panic, leap-second comparisons, and renewed complaints about the calendar. The trio examines whether recurring extra Wednesdays are draining the magic from Burnhamania, imagines Andy Burnham’s grand conference entrance, and braces for October’s damp gloom, Halloween fatigue, and the long march toward Christmas.

A tribute to Stephanie Cole leads into wartime city destruction, York’s naked cyclists, and a daring escape from York Minster. The beans debate soup’s identity, lasagnaification, infinite stews, and the perils of human connection. Plus: Mugtropolis, an undercover haddock, digestive anatomy, an overfriendly taxi driver, and farmers selling mountains of produce abroad.

A forgotten audio diary unleashes snoring, toilet flushes, trombone practice and alarming self-narration. The discussion ricochets through Twix-based super-soldiers, shingles dating, animal birth canals and the social terror of freestyle dancing. Along the way: German ballroom discipline, King Charles’s alleged moves, and an investigation into what makes something naff, tacky, camp or cool.

A chaotic tour through British taxi culture, from black cabs and the Knowledge to failed driving tests and London’s uniquely aggressive roads. The Beans imagine driverless cars facing cyclists, pedestrians, and impossible merges, then tackle Uber’s chat settings, awkward small talk, and a suspicious business pitch involving an abandoned quarry. Also: gong baths, troublesome cats, and a Hyundai’s final journey.

It is known that EVERY event is better when punctuated by songs (hence hymns, national anthems, Auld Lang Syne etc). It stands to reason therefore that the musical is the apogee of human endeavour. Can you imagine then the excitement of the beans when this week’s topic was barfed out of The Bean Machine and musicals is what it turned out to be???!!!! Thanks to Sophie of somewhere probably for this perfectly judged suggestion.Tickets for Henry's tour: henrypaker.comTickets for Mike's tour: mrmikewozniak.comTickets for Beef And Dairy Network at the London Podcast FestivalIN HALL: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-5/STREAMING: https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/podcast/beef-and-dairy-network-podcast-online/With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod

They riff on a grotesque comedy bit about a live talon buffet and outrageous condiments. They tease upcoming Fringe and buffet-style live shows. A Bavarian hotel breakfast tale features wurst, sausage and odd dipping habits. They laugh over celebrity-branded jerky, supermarket biltong trends and guilty-pleasure Paw Patrol mini cucumbers.

A surreal comedy sketch opens with absurd bodily premonitions and a runic stool divination routine. They riff on uncanny predictive success, strange omens like magpies and grated Parmesan, and a list of bizarre signs tied to a calendar quirk. The pair declare the installment void for safety with darkly comic rules and a playful farewell.

Whatever happened to The Frog Chorus? Were Paul McCartney’s erstwhile collaborators merely one hit wonders? Or, more than four decades on from the release of their smash hit single “We All Stand Together”, might we see them dusting off their vocal sacs and hitting the road alongside so many other ’80s pop sensations? Mayhap they’ll headline next year’s Glastonbury? No way of knowing. And this is certainly not discussed in the podcast at all. But what is discussed, thanks to Glen of Okazaki, Japan, is the topic of frogs.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladBen's Dr Chance video can be found here: https://youtu.be/EtQUemmMQDg?si=g1eOYNG37Mw11U3lWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [email protected] Insta: threebeansaladpod