
Three Bean Salad
A podcast from comedians Mike Wozniak, Henry Paker and Benjamin Partridge. Each week the three beans tackle a different theme, suggested by the listening audience.
Latest episodes

Mar 5, 2025 • 1h 4min
Space Travel Tourism
What is your council tax liability if you build a holiday bungalow in outer orbit? How would you recycle all that cosmic glassware? And most importantly, would the lukewarm banter of your favourite podcast freeze in the cold void of space? Callum of Oxsted clearly doesn’t know the answers to any of these questions bless him and so has suggested space travel tourism for the first topic of spring. Take it away, beans!With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Feb 5, 2025 • 13min
Anti-episode episode-isode
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (we're away until March).But sign up to PATREON for weekly bonus episodes throughout March, ad-free episodes and more: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladTicket links for Henry's work-in-progress shows:https://www.angelcomedy.co.uk/event-detail/henry-paker-illustratinator-wip-thu-3rd-apr-the-bill-murray-london-tickets-202504031830/https://museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/shows/873652303

Jan 29, 2025 • 9min
Fifth Wednesday Advice-cast
No normal episode of Three Bean Salad this week (it's a five Wednesday January and we will only do four Wednesday episodes in a month out of respect for natural law, magnets and the tides)Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Jan 22, 2025 • 1h 3min
D.I.Y.
Steven of Oslo suggests DIY as the topic for this week’s episode so if you’re looking for the audio equivalent of a double-treaded sub-insulated Type D prog-backed 9mm helix arched reverse spiral pentagonal retaining bolt shackle with adjustable nose you’ve come to the right place.With thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and bonus/video episodes: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Jan 15, 2025 • 1h 1min
Guy Fawkes
We will never know if Guy Fawkes’ grim end would have changed had his barrister not gone for the “He only wanted to make the Houses of Parliament lukewarm” defence. Perhaps Mr Fawkes himself would have drawn comfort from the fact that, thanks to Georgia of York, he is now (and for the first time ever presumably) memorialised in podcast form: a medium he could have had no understanding of and likely would have suspected was a concoction of Satan or a Dutch conspiracy.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Jan 8, 2025 • 1h 5min
Peter Pan
A bean sharp scalpel is applied to a literary classic this week as Robin from Weymouth suggests the topic of Peter Pan. Could we have had Darth Vader without Tinkerbell? Could we have had a robo-handed Luke Skywalker without Captain Hook? Where does Chewbacca fit into all this? Answers on a postcard please.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Jan 1, 2025 • 54min
The Railway
The railway is this week’s topic thanks to Nick of Kent (which for our international listeners is “The Garden of England” according to Kent. It is also unusual as a county as it categorises each man born in Kent as either a “Kentish Man” or “Man of Kent” depending on which side of the River Medway they were born: a taxonomy which wilfully excludes men who live in Kent but weren’t born there, all women, nonbinary folk, children, etc, you name it. Nigel Farage is originally from Kent) which the beans and especially Mike view in the same way as they might any other county.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Link to Jack's Beans role-playing game: https://pink-soda-books.itch.io/bean-emergencyMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Dec 29, 2024 • 1h 4min
Ratmas
To date the indisputable peak of human scientific endeavour has been managing to hide a bonus track on a CD. The natural next summit is to hide a bonus door on an advent calendar. Will we see this achieved in our lifetime? Unlikely. Therefore please console yourselves with this bonus episode of Three Bean Salad, not hidden but visible and available to all. This episode is exclusively dedicated to the extraordinary response to the request for rat based anecdotes. Know then that it is not for the faint hearted or musophobic. Remember that rat stories tend not to have happy endings, morals or transferable learning points for the under 12s. Merry Ratmas!Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladMerch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Dec 25, 2024 • 1h 3min
Hippos
Tis the Yule and Jacob from Manchester very cannily suggests hippos as this week’s topic. In Aesop’s fable, the hippo is humiliated by being left out of any accounts of the Nativity and, according to Hans Christian Andersen, rather than sharing its feelings with its closest friend, the Little Mermaid, retreats to the Nile and dedicates itself to be able to run faster than you’d think it could. Perhaps by honouring the hippo on this special day we can bring its troubled narrative to a happy close.Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: threebeansaladpod@gmail.com @beansaladpod

Dec 18, 2024 • 1h 2min
Monuments
Delve into the whimsical world of monuments, where humor meets history. Discover the cheeky side of equestrian statues and their symbolic destinies. Enjoy playful banter about Poirot's antics and the absurdities surrounding public sculptures. Laugh along as misconceptions about heroin and morphine are lightheartedly clarified. Plus, hear charming stories about kittens and a special Ratmas event for quirky rat tales. It's a delightful blend of art, comedy, and unexpected connections that keeps listeners engaged!