Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide cover image

Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Latest episodes

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Apr 14, 2020 • 52min

ERP 211: How To Get Rid of Shame to Increase Pleasure In The Bedroom - an Interview with Ian Ferguson 

Ian Ferguson is an intimacy coach and teacher of the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ platform, designed to radically transform how we talk about and experience sex. Ian is an expert on clearing shame and ending struggles that keep people from experiencing a deep intimate connection and sexual satisfaction. Through the Erotic Blueprints, he and Jaiya Ma have provided a 'Rosetta Stone' for people to clearly articulate their desires and experience erotic fulfillment.    In this episode, Ian Ferguson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:    How social norms make it difficult to talk about sex in a healthy way, and propagate shame. Getting to know your own body so you can begin to articulate who you are as an erotic being How understanding which of the five erotic personality types you fit into can transform your sex life How to listen to the sometimes competing messages from your body and get to the heart of what it is you truly want for yourself sexually. Shame is often driven by trauma. Allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel and move through the shame into healing is transformative and freeing.      "No matter what is going on for you, you are normal, you are not broken. You are whole and complete as you are. The primary rule for operating in the world around your sexuality is simply that everything that you're doing is consensual and that you're creating healthy boundaries for yourself." —  Ian Ferguson       Mentioned:    Erotic Blueprint Quiz   Path To Passion   Connect with Guest:  Website: https://missjaiya.com/ Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JaiyaNWSE/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:  Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com  Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com    If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me. 
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Apr 7, 2020 • 42min

ERP 210: How Emotionally Intelligent Men are Key to a Lasting Relationship with Kyle Benson

Kyle Benson is an Intentional Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research-based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgmental style and his capacity to see the root problem.   In this episode, Kyle Benson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:    The importance of tuning in to the information our bodies give us to improve our health and our lives. How men who are emotionally engaged generally have more stable relationships because they are more sensitive to what was going on in their partner’s world. How emotionally intelligent partners often turn towards difficult emotions in their partners and in themselves, rather than avoiding them.  Helping men overcome a lifetime of being told to suppress so-called “unmasculine” emotions.  The importance of creating a safe space for anyone, but especially men, to express their feelings.     "It’s such a joy to see that transformation and that kind of new shift...they're making a choice to step into something that's unfamiliar. That's scary...but when they start to touch into that in their relationship, and you create that safer space, I mean, it's really beautiful when they can connect with their partners." —  Kyle Benson       Intimacy 5 Challenge   Emotionally Intelligent Relationship   Mankind Project   Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide    Connect with Guest:  Website: kylebenson.net Twitter: @_KyleBenson Facebook: facebook.com/kylebenson.net Email: Contact Kyle Benson   Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:  Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com  Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com   If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.   
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Mar 31, 2020 • 44min

ERP 209: How Unresolved Grief Affects You and Your Relationship - an Interview with Donna Lancaster

Donna is one of the Co-founders and facilitators of The Bridge Retreat and has been working with individuals, couples and groups for almost 30 years.  Donna is passionate about the subject of grief and the grieving process which she believes offers the missing link for many in their search for wholeness. This interest stemmed from her own very personal experience of ‘depression’ which she suffered from for many years and now knows to have in fact been unprocessed grief.   In this episode, Donna Lancaster and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:    Discomfort, anxiety, and depression may actually be unprocessed pain and grief. Being grateful for our incredible capacity for survival and resilience, but not letting our past difficulties define you.        How we tend to see people through our own lenses of past pain. Heartbreak is inevitable and an essential part of being wonderfully human. The power of recognizing pain as a community, and healing in a community.     "The details of our stories may differ. But the essence of them is the same...we all go through loss, our hearts break, again and again, it’s part of the human condition. But what we're not shown, generally speaking, is how to allow and to embrace all those emotions and let them flow through us (as) they're meant to do, so that we can then really, really return to our wholeness. Not even return, just remember, because we always were home. And that is the power of community." —  Donna Lancaster       Mentioned:    The Bridge Retreat Video The Bridge Retreat website How to Handle Grief & Loss In Relationship podcast) How to Handle Grief & Loss In Relationship - Part Two (podcast) Grief Refuge (grief companioning) Free strategy session with Dr. Jessica Higgins (coaching) Connect with Donna:  Website: https://www.thebridgeretreat.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebridgeretreat/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebridgehealing/          Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:  Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com  Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com    If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.     
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Mar 25, 2020 • 38min

ERP 208: How To Find Balance And Direction

No doubt, we are all feeling the stress of the COVID-19 crisis. I reach out to you today to be in community with you, as we are all being impacted. With the threats looming, it is easy to feel scared, uncertain, and a sense of loss.  (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)  In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses:  How the way with deal with a challenge can be more important than the challenge itself.  How to find a balance between panicking in fear and ignoring or dismissing the issue.  Learning to manage our reactions and activated states.  Building awareness around our experience, so that we can be more present to others and ourselves.  Focusing on an Intention for clarity and direction. How to build connection with others even when we are limited.  How to practice discernment and mindful action.  Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Mentioned: Awareness, Intention And Mindful Action - During Stressful Times (article) Fear Melters, by Gay & Katie Hendricks Wheel of Awareness, by Dr. Dan Siegel Aware, by Daniel Siegel Coming to Terms With Coincidence, By Ralph Lewis M.D Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com   If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.   
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Mar 17, 2020 • 38min

ERP 207: How To Get Out Of Financial Debt When Working Together As A Couple - An Interview With Ericka Young

Ericka Young is a recognized expert in financial coaching and helps families significantly improve their finances and their future. As founder and president of Tailor-Made Budgets, she teaches debt freedom through her e-newsletters, personal coaching, group programs, and speaking engagements.   In this episode, Ericka Young and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:    How most people see debt as “normal,” but it breeds shame and embarrassment. Once you reach your breaking point, getting out of debt requires diligence and persistence. Rather than being restrictive, a budget can be freeing and give you control of your finances.  If you are afraid to look at your debt, then you won’t know what it's going to take to get free. Working together as a couple requires stepping back, looking at the big picture, and working toward a common goal.     "They're so afraid that looking at the number is going to mean that the house is gonna fall down around them. And my take on this is, first of all, you're not alone. This is why I'm here. I've been there. And so I understand that this is difficult. You can do hard things though. And if you don't face it, you can't change it." —  Ericka Young     Mentioned:    Free Mini-Course Naked and Unashamed   Connect with Ericka:  Website: https://www.tailormadebudgets.com/ Facebook: TailorMadeBudgets Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tailormadebudgets/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erickayoung/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/budgetsbyericka Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:  Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com  Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com    If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me. 
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Mar 11, 2020 • 32min

ERP 206: What Is The Relationship Between Porn And Lovemaking

Typically, we don't think about porn being related to lovemaking. However, many people are experiencing relationship challenges related to the use of porn.  (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)  In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses:  How the use of porn has changed over time.  Our paradigm about and consciousness around porn. What happens when we don't examine how and why we use porn.   How porn supports one aspect of sexuality, which may be very limiting when it comes to interacting with an actual partner.  How porn addiction and miseducation can interfere with love making.  How we may be turning away from our partners and using porn as a coping strategy.  How lovemaking can be an all encompassing, full-spectrum, and integrated experience.  "Porn is strictly genital sex. It completely divorces sex from emotional attachment, the springboard for optimal sex, which requires mutual engagement, attunement, and responsiveness. Porn reduces sex to sensation - intercourse and orgasm - and eliminates any connection to or respect for the user's partner." by Dr. Susan Johnson Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Relationship Map - Free Cheat Sheet Mentioned: ERP 202: HOW TO NURTURE YOUR SEXUAL INTIMACY AND CONNECTION IN RELATIONSHIP ERP 145: PORNOGRAPHY. WHAT ARE WE REALLY TALKING ABOUT? WITH DR. MARTY KLEIN Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com   If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.   
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Mar 3, 2020 • 45min

ERP 205: Overcoming Money Issues And Creating Abundance Together An Interview With Simone Milasas

About Simone Milasas: Simone Milasas is a lady who knows how to be a woman, who sees the joy of possibility and future and knows that there is the prospect of possibility in every choice you choose. Simone is the author of Joy Of Business translated into 13 languages and best-selling book Getting Out Of Debt Joyfully translated into 5 languages. She is currently working on her 3rd book with Brendon Watt called; Relationship. Are you sure you want one? Simone currently travels the world facilitating seminars with Access Consciousness. She also has numerous online courses and is always asking for more possibilities to show up. You can find Simone every week on her podcast – The Art & Industry of Business & Living available on her website and iTunes. In this episode, Simone Milasas and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  How money should contribute to your relationships, rather than define them Being willing to look at what’s in front of you and knowing yourself and your partner creates trust. Money is just money and shouldn’t create as much havoc as it does  Creating a non-judgmental space is essential for open communication about finances Writing down everything that it costs to run your life together, and deciding how you want to live is how to make informed choices and take control of your finances Make it a joyous occasion to look at your expenses because your life changes! If you don’t ask for it, how’s it going to show up? Subtext doesn’t work, it only creates conflict. Your partner can’t read your mind! Recognizing the value of non-monetary contributions to the relationship You've got to look at what's going to work for you    "What I've noticed over the years is if I choose to be clear on something, then I can create something and I can change something. It's when you choose not to be aware of something that you can't change it...And if you don't know what your point of view is that creates your own financial reality and you're in a relationship, then this reality will create it for you." —  Simone Milasas    Mentioned: Access Consciousness. Relationship. Are You Sure You Want One?Relationships Done Different Connect with Guest: Website: https://www.simonemilasas.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AccessSimoneMilasas Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simonemilasas/ Podcast: https://www.simonemilasas.com/podcasts/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonemilasas LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyofbusiness/:  Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com    If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me. 
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Feb 25, 2020 • 45min

ERP 204: Lessons learned from Renew Breakup Bootcamp an interview with Amy Chan

Learning more about your attachment and communication styles can give you and your partner the power to transform a challenging relationship.    About Amy Chan:  Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. She is also the Editor-in-Chief of JustMyType.ca - an online magazine that focuses on the psychology behind love, lust and desire. Marie Claire calls her  "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline and the front page of The New York Times.    (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)    In this episode, Amy Chan and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  How relationship challenges can teach us about our areas of growth and healing.  How to notice if you are starting to lose yourself in a relationship and how to maintain a healthy connection, both with your partner and with yourself. The importance of identifying the root motivations for our giving and sacrifice behavior. What attachment theory is and how early life plays a large role in your attachment style in a relationship.  How knowing your attachment style can help you resolve issues more quickly with your significant other, as well as help you develop a more secure attachment.  Tips around what to do when you feel triggered and threatened, so that you can begin to regulate your nervous system and emotional state.  Learning how to organize your feelings and approach your partner in a way that supports more effective communication.     "When you're in this survival state, that your connection is threatened, you're not logical. So anything you're going to do during that state is probably not a really healthy choice for your future. And so you want to get back to calm and center. And before you do anything, before you send that text or make that call or break up, you want to be able to get back into a high vibe." —  Amy Chan       Mentioned:  Amy’s Breakup Bootcamp Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Connect with Amy Chan:  Website: www.renewbreakupbootcamp.com  Blog: https://www.justmytype.ca/ Breakup Bootcamp on Instagram: @renewyourheart Amy Chan on Instagram: @missamychan  Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:  Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com  Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com    If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me. 
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Feb 18, 2020 • 27min

ERP 203: Discussing the film Ordinary Love with Lisa Barros D'Sa and Glenn Leyburn

In this episode, I talk with Lisa Barros D'Sa and Glenn Leyburn about the film Ordinary Love.  Bleecker Street's ORDINARY LOVE, starring Academy Award® nominees Lesley Manville (“Phantom Thread”) and Liam Neeson (“Schlinder’s List”). Following its critically acclaimed debut at TIFF, ORDINARY LOVE hit theaters on Valentine's Day, February 14th, and follows the story of an everyday couple with a remarkable love. The film is directed by Irish filmmaking duo Lisa Barros D’Sa & Glenn Leyburn (“Good Vibrations,” “Cherrybomb”) with a screenplay from the award-winning playwright Owen McCafferty. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)  In this episode, Lisa Barros D'Sa, Glenn Leyburn and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss:  A love story of a middle-aged couple.  The warmth, humor, and connection that comes from a deep level of intimacy.  When confronted with a major hardship, we have the opportunity to uplift each other and keep each other afloat.  With a major health issue, there is an individual journey as well as a couple journey.  When we attempt to protect our partner from our pain, we often feel isolated. What honesty, acceptance, strength and courage can look like within a relationship during painful times.  How life's difficulties can separate us and bring us back together again.  Collaboration through mutual trust and respect.  Mentioned:   Website: https://bleeckerstreetmedia.com/ordinary-love-film Insta: bleeckerstfilms Twitter: @bleeckerstfilms Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com   If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me. 
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Feb 11, 2020 • 44min

ERP 202: How To Nurture Your Sexual Intimacy And Connection In Relationship

Sharing sexual intimacy and love making with your significant other can be such a profound and prominent way to express love and passion within your bond. And yet, there are so many things that make the process of coming together in an open, flexible, and engaged way challenging.  (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.)  In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses:  How our expectations, assumptions and judgements influence our experience sexually.  What differentiation has to do with sexual fire and passion.  How couples get stuck in gridlock and sexual difficulties.  The fears, shame, anxieties, trauma, and stress that affect our ability to be available and present sexually.  The ways our attachment strategies show up in our love making.  How safety in the relationship helps partners be more present, expressed and engaged in erotic play.  "Worry and distraction do not make for expansive, fulfilling sex. Sealed-off sex tends to be erotic but empty, while solcae sex is soothing but unerotic. The most satisfying and orgasmic sex, what I call "synchrony sex," occurs when partners are securely attached." by Dr. Susan Johnson Mentioned:   Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Relationship Map - Free Cheat Sheet Mentioned: WHAT DOES THE DEVELOPMENT OF INTIMACY LOOK LIKE IN RELATIONSHIP? ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Hold Me Tight, by Dr. Susan Johnson Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch Intimacy & Desire, by David Schnarch Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins:   Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts  Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com   If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.   

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