Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

In today's episode, I'm joined by Michael McPherson as we chat about how to develop sexual energy and sexual intimacy beyond the typical immature and limited notions we live within. Michael talked about how common it is for people to grow up in environments where sex and conversations about sex are taboo. He addressed how much shame people typically feel around sex and their sexual energy, as well as how misinformed people are based on the distorted images they get from various forms of media. Michael's mission is to help people expand their understanding about sexual energy and sexual intimacy as well as increasing their comfortability in talking about their sexuality. Michael talked about his healing journey with the use of plant medicine, Ayahuasca ceremony, and the love and connection with his beloved. He shares some of his practices and principles with us that have contributed to his integration and transformation. Listen in to find out how sexual energy can be used for activities other than sex, why our sexuality is mixed in with all our life experiences, how men can hide behind their sexuality, and how he took responsibility for his past actions and somatically healed. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio: Michael McPherson is the author of Everything You Never Learned About Sex: Take Back Your Masculine Power & Use Your Sex Energy For Good, co-founder of KAKAO Ceremonial Drinking Chocolate, a non-profit devoted to saving native stains of cacao and making ceremonial-grade cacao available to the Western world, and co-founder of KAPU, a community app for light workers to share their heart-centered gifts, services, and wisdom in a safe and sacred space. In this episode, Michael and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How pornography impacts our ideas about sex and can warp our perspective on sexual intimacy Why men can get away with hiding behind their sexuality in society How males cover their emotional wounds and hurt with sex Infatuation and the thrill of the chase is a large percent of our relational experience How plant medicine and ceremonies can support healing from emotional turmoil and pain The difference between sex energy and sexuality How sexual energy is amplified in couplehood and how to work with intention setting together How to use sexual energy to open your heart The process by which we can start to identify sexual energy in our body How to deepen your own intimacy with your beloved through your individual practice Mentioned: Everything You Never Learned About Sex: Take Back Your Masculine Power & Use Your Sex Energy For Good (book) By Michael McPherson KAKAO Ceremonial Drinking Chocolate (website) ERP 071: How To Use Sexual Energy To Improve Your Health & Relationship - With Sarina Stone - Jessica Higgins ERP 246: How to Deepen Your Connection Through the Power of Ritual - An Interview with William Ayot Connect with Michael McPherson https://www.michaelmcpherson.co/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Get access to my new group coaching starting in January. Sign up today! If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In today's episode, we will take a look at negotiating with your significant other when you have a conflict. My interview with Juliet Grayson will delve into how she works with couples to navigate intimacy and find a win-win relationship. She started her journey as a young child in therapy with the UK NLP Therapy Association Chair. Juliet was intrigued by the association and decided to sign up for a course. She decided to take the entire course six times to embody thinking, which changed her perspective and life. Having experienced couples therapy with her husband, she decided to venture into the couples therapy treatment realm. Now trained as a couples therapist, she had her first couples client and quickly realized that this vertical wasn't the same as individual therapy. At this point, she decided to take on a two-year training divided into a year training on sex and the other year on relationships. Juliet currently works primarily with couples who are experiencing sexual problems. Juliet and I talk about the importance of taking a break in a conversation when one partner is triggered and why having the ability to step away from an argument that is getting heated is a positive action to take to move your relationship forward. Listen in to find out why every communication is a negotiation, what couples need to do to have the ability to negotiate, the distinction between first and second position with NLP, and the most useful model for couples to move through negotiation. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio: Juliet Grayson is a UKCP Reg psychosexual therapist working in the UK. She & her team run a six modular course, now online, on "How to Work With Couples for Therapists Who Usually Work One to One". She also runs online personal development groups using the Pesso Boyden System of Psychotherapy. Her book, "Landscapes of the Heart: The working world of a sex and relationship therapist" gives a 'fly on the wall' perspective on couples therapy. In this episode, Juliett and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How couples are not good negotiators Prerequisites to starting the negotiating process in a couples relationship The importance of knowing what you want for yourself Why it's important for a couple to brainstorm to solve a problem How to separate the problem from the people The types of concessions a partner can offer inside a relationship How second position is different from first position Why it's important to understand the other's motivation for their actions Elements necessary to have the ability to speak from each position in negotiation. The importance of negotiating with generosity and positivity towards your partner How a partner can get "unstuck" in winning at the expense of the relationship Mentioned: Landscapes of the Heart: The working world of a sex and relationship therapist (book) Landscape of the Heart (website) Couples Therapy and Counseling (website) Interview with William Ayot, Deepening Your Connection Through the Power of Ritual (podcast) Connect with Juliet Grayson To join her emailing list https://therapyandcounselling.co.uk/sign-up-for-info/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/Juliett.grayson.9/ www.sexuallyinappropriatebehaviour.org Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Get access to my new group coaching starting in January. Sign up today! If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

With modern day life, it is easy to get wrapped up in outside distractions and at times even turn towards these distractions as a way to avoid discomfort and pain. However, in the process of turning towards outside distractions (i.e. news, entertainment, phones, social media, etc), we are turning AWAY from our partner. Research helps us understand that how responsive partners are to each other is one of the biggest predictors of lasting relationship. Couples who turn towards each other have increased levels of trust, relationship satisfaction, passion and lovemaking. During this holiday season, and on the tail end of such a stressful year of 2020, what if you put your efforts into one of the most potent and powerful ways of creating connection by increasing the amount of times you turn towards your partner? (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: What does "turning towards" your partner mean? How small interactions between partners often leads to the overall sentiment of the relationship (either positive or negative). The responsiveness rate of happy couples versus responsiveness rate of unhappy couples. The difference between simple "bids" and complex "bids." How "turning away" creates disconnect and disengagement and how "turning against" creates conflict, as well as possibility for engagement and repair. The damage of dismissing bids and the negative outcomes on relationship. How to increase the rate of responsiveness with our significant other Examples of specific ways of responding to our partner's bids and turning towards them. Check out this free guide to get 25 examples of turning towards your partner: 25 Days to Strengthening Your Love Through Kindness Check out this article to see Dr. John Gottman's list of minor bids for emotional connection (scroll to see the blue graphic). Mentioned: FREE guide: 25 Days to Strengthening Your Love Through Kindness ERP 125: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love (podcast) ERP 128: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love - Part Two (podcast) ERP 129: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love - Part Three (podcast) ERP 130: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love - Part Four (podcast) ERP 131: How Kindness Can Strengthen Your Love - Part Five (podcast) The Gottman Institute (website) Dr. Susan Johnson (website) Turn Towards Instead Of Away, By Zach Brittle LMHC (article) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Get access to my new group coaching starting in January. Sign up today! If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

William Ayot has worked in personal development and organizational settings, using poetry and the arts to teach worldwide. He speaks about his emotional state at the age of 30, being clinically depressed, not finding any joy in relationships, and he then "fell into a hole." William was able to climb out of his hole by doing ritual work and discovering the world of personal development. Working with groups of Shamans who used rituals in a very particular way. "I was fascinated, and this began to help me in my personal process." After completing a ritual for the atonement of the feminine, William met a woman whom he fell in love with and is still in a relationship with to this day, over two decades later. He then realized that ritual work was also applicable to people in relationships. From here, he found himself working for individuals and groups, teaching them the process and value of ritual. When working with couples, William will design and create a ritual for the couple to practice. This helps to know people's spirituality, what they need when interfacing with each other, and the sacred world. He strives to meet people where they are most present and connected in their lives and the world. At this point, he creates rituals that initiate change. Listen in to find out why rituals are a way of creating an image to send a message to the soul, how rituals are a critical part of our intention-setting and co-creating and why rituals can tie up loose ends with our sense of lack in the current environment. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio: William Ayot is an award-winning poet, author, teacher and ritualist. Over three decades, he has worked in personal development and organizational settings, using poetry and the arts to teach around the world. William creates rituals for individuals and groups in his purpose-built ritual garden in Monmouthshire, Wales. He has published four collections of poetry, a prose book on ritual, and is currently writing a book for and about men in a time of epochal change. In this episode, William and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How to co-create rewarding, lasting relationships How rituals can be transformative for both individuals and couples Knowing a person's spirituality before creating or prescribing a ritual for them is important How rituals are a way of creating an image to send a message to the soul "The soul doesn't deal in data or numbers. It deals in pictures and images." William Ayot Why we are cutting off from a deep and profound part of ourselves by disregarding ritual in our life Why we are giving our partner a gift when we use ritual in our lives What William encourages us to do to feel more connected in the world How to conduct rituals safely with the intended best effect The five basic stages of a ritual and the importance of closing the ritual down before leaving Why ritual is as important for men as it is for women "Rituals are a unique way for a human being to give a message to their psyche or their soul." William Ayot Poem, by William Ayot It Turns and Softly Speaks Night after night the empty road, the home-light diminishing then vanishing as you travel out into the world again, hungry for a love that you can never allow. If only you could pause for a moment, look down at your feet and not at the horizon, you might spot the small grey pebble of love lying discarded where you flung it as a child. What was the hurt that made you a loner? How did the wondrous gift become a wound? You're alone. You're still giving but you're giving from an exhausted place. Listen to the call of love: admit, accept, receive. © William Ayot Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide Re Enchanting the Forest: Meaningful Ritual in a Secular World Connect with William Ayot Visit William on the web Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Get access to my new group coaching starting in January. Sign up today! If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Richard Bolstad has devoted his time to running workshops with his wife Julia and has authored many books on coaching and cooperative relationships. In this episode, we talk about how he became interested in couples therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and how this type of process can become a "User's Manual for the brain." We not only discuss NLP in detail but give vital examples of the elements of NLP. He speaks about connection cues and why these are more important than conflict cues, and how connection cues turn into bids for a partner's attention. Partners who pick up on this bid for attention connect and build rapport within the relationship. Breathing, body positions, and brain waves start to synchronize between the couple. When one partner ignores the other partner's bid for attention, the relationship can start to break. Couples aren't willing to do the work until they feel like they are heard and seen. This process builds goodwill and reinforces their bond. Unless these components are part of a relationship, it's hard to find a significant bond between two people. Listen in to our conversation about the Japanese cultural art of Aikido is used as a metaphor for building relationships and aligning with someone else, the importance of self-soothing, and how partners can have negative responses toward each other during a conversation. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio: A member of the New Zealand Association of Psychotherapists, Richard runs training world-wide, both singly and with his wife, Julia Kurusheva. He is the author of many books on NLP, coaching, and cooperative relationships, published in 10 languages, including Transforming Communication and The Rapport Based Family. Instructors teach his "Transforming Communication" cooperative relationships course in more than 14 languages. Richard also runs training on conflict resolution in war zones and after major disaster events. In this episode, Richard and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How NLP can be used to guide couples relationships Examples of NLP framework in action Why cues and bids for attention are important inside a relationship How to people can build rapport amongst each other The physical effects building rapport causes inside a relationship Engines that drive the verbal and nonverbal responses towards a partner "What people usually call thinking is made up of the things they picture visually inside their head, what they say to themselves and listen to, and what they pay attention to." By Richard Bolstad How to enrich your couples experience by paying attention to your inputs The ability and exercise of how to create an emotional anchor for yourself Differences in sensory systems between two people How to reinforce the bond between you and your partner "Instead of manipulating or doing things to influence someone else, find elements that will co-create a relationship." By Richard Bolstad Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide Find a mediator online Dr. Susan Johnson The Gottman Institute Virginia Satir Pick up Richard's The Rapport Based Family ERP 217: How to Deal with Stonewalling in Your Relationship Connect with Richard Bolstad Visit Richard on the web Find out more about Neurolinguistic Programming Richard Bolstad on Linkedin Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Angela shares her stance on what divorce does to a child's development, as well as looking at how a divorce is handled before, during and after can determine how much it impacts a child down the road. She discusses the indicators that childhood divorce has affected someone and how it can manifest. Angela also talks about ways to identify if divorce may be affecting your relationships in adulthood. Listen, as Angela describes what is a "healthy" relationship and how to determine what is real and what isn't when it comes to happiness in your relationships. Angela believes you can break free of past unhappy relationships and move forward with clarity to find what you are looking for. How you see yourself isn't always how others see you, so Angela shares some tips to help you bridge the gap. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio: Angela Cusimano is a psychologist and personal coach with decades of experience working with kids, families, and trauma survivors. As a way to connect with more people outside of the therapy room, she has started a coaching program for childhood divorce survivors who struggle with self-love, self-sabotage, and difficulties in their partnerships. She has published two books: one for families going through the divorce process and a book for parents who want to safely raise their teens in the digital age. In this episode, Dr. Angela Cusimano and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Angela's stance on what divorce does to children's development. Some indicators that childhood divorce has affected a person, like self-sabotage and relationship sabotage. Learning how to identify that divorce may have affected intimacy and relationships in adulthood. How divorce is handled can influence how much children are impacted down the road. What a "healthy" relationship can look like. Happiness in relationships: what is real and what isn't. Breaking free of a past of unhappy relationships and moving forward with possibility. Tweetables "We all grow up with this idea of normal." Angela Cusimano PhD "The first step is making the connection between the present and the past." Angela Cusimano PhD "The conflict between parents is more psychologically damaging than the divorce itself." Angela Cusimano PhD "Happy couples do fight." Angela Cusimano PhD "There are two sides to your story." Angela Cusimano PhD Mentioned: Crash Course for Divorce: How to Make a Difficult Road Easier to Navigate by Angela Cusimano PhD Raising Teens in the Digital Age: How to Connect, Understand, and Keep Them Safe, by Angela Cusimano PhD Shifting Criticism Into Connected Communication - a free gift for listeners. Connect with Angela Cusimano Visit Angela on the web Facebook: facebook.com/changethetidecoaching Instagram: instagram.com/changethetidecoaching Pinterest: pinterest.com/changethetidecoaching Email Angela Angela's upcoming programs For a free childhood divorce survivor journal Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic, you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Kenneth Cloke talks about how the language we use, the stories we tell, and how we approach our conflicts often have the outcome of making them worse and destroying our relationships. He talks about how to avoid using certain verbiage, so that our partners aren't triggered to counter-attack. Listen in to our conversation where Ken talks about creating a pivot point in your conversation and having a better outcome and solution with the relational conversation that includes both members of a partnership. Kenneth Cloke has devoted much of his career to supporting people in the various negotiation conflict areas and resolving conflict. After a brutal divorce experience and reflection of how he could have handled his personal situation better, Ken was inspired to help others move through their conflict and teach how we can learn and use our own tools to avoid conflict before it starts. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio: Kenneth Cloke is a mediator, arbitrator, coach, consultant, and trainer, specializing in resolving complex multi-party disputes, including transnational, marital, divorce, family, grievance, workplace disputes, organizational, and public policy, and school conflicts, and designing preventative conflict resolution systems. He has worked in over 25 countries and is the founder and first President of Mediators Beyond Borders. He has published 15 books on conflict resolution, recently The Crossroads of Conflict and Politics, Dialogue, and the Evolution of Democracy. In this episode, Kenneth Cloke and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How to see conflicts differently, as well as how to recognize the source of most of our conflicts. The importance of looking at the language we use, the stories we tell and the approaches we use that either bring resolution or communication break-down. Identifying the specific words that lead to conflict and destructive cycles in relationship. Learn new language and new questions to ask that create understanding, clear communication and productive outcomes in relationship. What are the questions we are asking ourselves in every interaction to gauge how safe we are in the relationship. What makes someone an ally versus a threat in relationship. How vulnerable we are within our intimate relationships, what is at stake and and the risks involved. Learn ways to generate solutions, strengthen relationships and deepen intimacy in communication. Tweetables "I became interested in how to introduce conversations and design them that would help people actually talk through their problems with each other." Kenneth Cloke "Over the course of the past 40 years I've been immersed in working with people to get to places in which they see their conflicts completely differently." Kenneth Cloke "The language we use, the stories we tell and the way we approach our conflicts often has the outcome of making them worse and destroying our relationships." Kenneth Cloke "If you use the word 'you' in connection with something negative, the form of that pronoun is an accusation." Kenneth Cloke "Relationships are at stake in every conversation." Kenneth Cloke Mentioned: The Crossroads of Conflict: A Journey into the Heart of Dispute Resolution by Kenneth Cloke The Dance of Opposites: Explorations in Mediation, Dialogue and Conflict Resolution Systems by Kenneth Cloke Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide Find a mediator online Connect with Kenneth Cloke Visit Kenneth on the web Pick up one of Kenneth's relationship books Find out more about Kenneth's trainings he offers Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Suppose you're with an emotionally unavailable partner. In that case, you'll find that you can feel emotionally destabilized at times, that your partner is keeping you at arm's length. You might find that you can't talk deeply about the relationship itself and about what you need and what you want and especially where the two of you as a couple are headed in the future. In this episode, I talk with Ryan Haddon, a certified Life, and Spiritual Coach, Hypnotherapist, and certified Meditation teacher. She and I discuss how a person with narcissistic tendencies can emotionally keep you at bay and what you can do to shift your focus if you find yourself in one of these types of relationships. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio: Ryan Haddon is a certified Life and Spiritual Coach, Hypnotherapist, and certified Meditation teacher with over 16 years of experience with clients worldwide. A sought-after public speaker for corporate retreats and wellness events, Ryan does private workshops such as "Stepping Into Your Purpose," "The Work/Life Balance," and "Finding Your Center." Ryan was a keynote speaker for Visionary Women's 2020 virtual event and a featured speaker at CAA's 2020 global wellness event. She's also the in-house Life Coach at Kourtney Kardashian's website Poosh, where she writes mind/body/spirit articles. In this episode, Ryan Haddon and I discuss: Why you feel unsafe in a relationship with an emotionally unavailable partner. What does emotional unavailability look like in a partner? Reasons why people are emotionally unavailable. Why you feel lonely, unvalidated and rejected with a partner that's emotionally unavailable. The checklist of behaviors that emotionally unavailable people tend to display. Why it can feel like you are doing all the heavy lifting inside your relationship. How to figure out what you can do to break the pattern of dating emotionally unavailable people. Tweetables "If you're in a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable, you're most likely feeling destabilized at all times." Ryan Haddon "When you enter into a relationship with an emotionally unavailable person you'll feel like you're not safe." Ryan Haddon "Knowing that they can't give you more than they are and if you manage to get past go, your relationship might be well underway and you might feel like you're dancing all the time, constantly taking their emotional temperature. Ryan Haddon "Emotional unavailability is a good term to describe when you're with someone who is always setting the terms, withdrawing physically and emotionally when you get too close, probably because they're afraid to be vulnerable." Ryan Haddon "It feels that one sidedness that you are always having to accept that they're not really needing you in that same playing field that you want to be in." Ryan Haddon Mentioned: Get your free guide Relationship Map to Happy Lasting Love Free Guide Listen to the podcast episode How To Deal With Fears Of Intimacy How To Deal With Fears Of Intimacy - Part Two of the podcast series Connect with Ryan Haddon Visit Ryan on the web Chat with Ryan on Instagram Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Have you sat down to dinner with your partner only to find them on their cell phone most of your time together? Does your significant other consistently bring their computer into the bedroom, and you have a feeling of being dismissed? In this episode, I talk with Dr. Lori about the damaging effects of digital devices on relationships. Whether you are interacting with family, friends, or a partner, spending an excessive amount of time and avoiding others instead of interacting with them one-on-one can cause mistrust, a feeling of neglect, and displace couple intimacy. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) Bio: With over 25 years of experience, Dr. Lori has worked with thousands of clients, both domestic and internationally. Through her countless hours of research, Dr. Lori's commitment to helping businesses, families, and individuals overcome the problems created by device usage. Her book, The Effects of Texting on Marital Relationships, offers a poignant data-packed critique on texting within marriage, including its often negative impact. In addition to working one-on-one with clients, Dr. Lori advises businesses on the operational effects of over-connected employees, managing technology, distractions in the workplace, and driving employee productivity. In this episode, Dr. Lori Whatley and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How device usage can create challenges in relationships. How overuse of technology affects our levels of anxiety, quality of sleep and creates depression. Learn how human contact and in-person interactions affect our mood and brain chemistry. Why it takes up to 25 minutes for us to refocus after a digital distraction. How the amount of digital device usage can cut down on quality family and relationship time. How boundaries and rules can help couples resolve issues with overuse of digital time. How to deal with concerns of device addiction, jealousy and different ways of approaching social media in relationships. Listen in to find out why it's important that we learn to balance our digital devices as a society, the red flags of using too much daily technology, and how digital devices affect our focus. Learn why our attention span is shorter now than ever, how technology can be used as a tool for avoidance in a relationship, and how the overuse of a digital device can create distrust. "Everyday as I was working with couples, digital devices came up in our sessions." by Dr. Lori Whatley "The world needs to know how we are effected relationally and individually by our digital device issues." by Dr. Lori Whatley "The effect of technology is truly like another woman or another man in the relationship." by Dr. Lori Whatley "A "like" on social media is not the same as love in person." by Dr. Lori Whatley "Sometimes people fill their life and their hours up with their social media world and then they have no time left for in-person connection ." by Dr. Lori Whatley Mentioned: Connected and Engaged by Dr. Lori Whatley The Effects of Texting on Marital Relationships By Dr. Lori Whatley Family Assessment on Dr. Lori Whatley's website ERP 011: How Technological Impacts Our Relationship Connect with Dr. Lori Whatley Dr. Whatley on the web Get great information on her blog Check out her new book Connected & Engaged Read The Effects of Texting on the Marital Relationship Visit with Dr. Whatley on Instagram Chat with Dr. Whatley on Facebook Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Bio: Chris Seiter, the founder of Ex Boyfriend Recovery and Ex Girlfriend Recovery has been helping thousands of broken hearted individuals win their exes back for over a decade. Implementing the very creative "no contact rule," which shuts down communication between exes for a certain period of time such in order to create space for each partner allows for healing, self recovery, and an opportunity for both of you to potentially come back together as a couple, which Chris believes is the key to long lasting success. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Chris Seiter and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How going through a break-up can be fertile ground for self-development and self-discovery. What happens when we do not have closure or time to process insights and understandings. How to use tactical empathy to address other's objections to move through resistance. What to focus on when communicating (and not through text). How to get in the right space emotionally. The importance of giving adequate time, space and distance to reflect. How to keep the end goal in mind and work towards creating a better relationship. "It is not about your ex, it is about you." by Chris Seiter Mentioned: Ex Boyfriend Recovery (website) Ex Girlfriend Recovery (website) Ex Boyfriend Recovery (podcast) Ex Girlfriend Recovery (podcast) Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide Connect with Chris Seiter Websites: www.exboyfriendrecovery.com www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com Facebook: facebook.com/OfficialExBoyfriendRecovery/ Youtube: Chris Seiter Podcasts: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/podcasts/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.