Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Recently, I have been recommending the book "Eight Dates: Essential Conversations For A Lifetime Of Love" by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams. Since the last two podcast episodes have been referring to the importance of connecting and dating in relationship, I thought it would be valuable to share this book with you. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How being curious and interested in and with your partner will support a lifetime of learning, intimacy and vitality with your partner. The importance of seeing love as a practice. What threatens commitment and trust in relationship and how to built trust together. How conflict is inevitable in every relationship, and understanding the real goal of conflict. Learning the difference between solvable problems and perpetual problems. What helps partners create a great sex life together. Understanding the essential role of play and adventure in your relationship, so that you can keep things fresh and exciting. "Vulnerability creates trust, and trust is the oxygen your relationship needs to breathe." by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams. Mentioned: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love ERP 227: How To Date Your Significant Other - An Interview with Dr. Bill Harley ERP 228: How To See Relationship As A Spiritual Teacher - An Interview With Allana Pratt Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Bio: Allana Pratt is an intimacy expert, relationship coach, author of 6 books, and the host of the edgy podcast "Intimate Conversations." Allana offers private, group and online coaching programs for singles and couples to help her clients develop a healthy, intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Allana Pratt and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How our partner will mirror our work. How to see our partner as our master spiritual teacher. The power of taking ownership and offering an apology that lands. How to become the one to awaken the one. The process of growth and integration versus bypassing our wounded parts. How we get transparency by giving transparency. Tips for couples connection. Presencing together as a couple. A dyad date night exercise for intimacy. Tune into one another and keep asking the question, be open and curious. "All hearts when they are wounded close." — Allana Pratt Mentioned: Finding 'The One' is Bullsh*t: Becoming 'The One' is Brilliant & Beautiful, by Allana Pratt Jennifer Jimenez Vibrant Healthy Living David Deangelo Connect with Allana Pratt: Website: AllanaPratt.com Podcast: Intimate Conversations Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachallanapratt Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/AlanaPratt?sub_confirmation=1 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. earned his Ph.D. degree in psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara in 1967 and has been a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in Minnesota since 1975. Dr. Harley is best known as the author of the internationally best selling book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage. Dr. Harley's ground-breaking mental-health approach to marriage therapy has saved countless marriages over the decades, and continues to do so today. He has written 23 other books and continues to write, speak, and lead seminars throughout the US and Canada. Dr. and Mrs. Harley also host a daily one-hour call-in show, Marriage Builders® Radio. It can be heard on radio stations and on the Internet. They have been married for 54 years and live in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. They have two adult children, who are now working with them as marriage coaches, and four grandchildren. Mentioned: His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard Harley In this episode, Dr. Bill Harley and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The four emotional needs that must be addressed in order to fall in love, stay in love, or get love back again. Breaking the "love busters" to create an environment where a date would actually be a mutually enjoyable experience. How finding things you enjoy doing together, and encouraging each other's individual passions can build connection. Using the "Love Bank Inventory" to measure what areas of love building need more attention. "No matter where you are in your marriage, dating can create a great marriage for you. It can solve all of your communication problems, it can solve all the struggles that you've been having, trying to make decisions. And I just challenge couples to recognize that 15 hours a week of undivided attention is the answer." — Dr. Bill Harley Connect with Dr. Bill Harley: Website: Marriage Builders® - Successful Marriage Advice Twitter: Marriage Builders (@marriagebuilder) Facebook: Marriage Builders - Home YouTube: MarriageBuilders Show: Marriage Builders Radio Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

With 25 years of post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She has been treating clients, training professionals, and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on Schema Therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on the subject of Schema Therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. In this episode, Wendy Behary and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How confusing and disorienting it can be to be in a relationship with a narcissist. Understanding how a narcissist got to be how they are and what it entails. The spectrum of narcissism. The goal of a narcissist and the missing piece in relationship. How one's own schema, or learned thought patterns and behaviors, can be triggered by, and play into, the tendencies of a narcissist. How to have an effect of the relationship. How to get your emotional balance, so that you can approach your partner with empathic confrontation. The work that goes into helping someone feel capable of standing on their own, to be the strongest healthiest adult they can be, and their own best advocate. "To hear your own voice, to stand up for yourself...That's a new new movement, which will guide you towards making a decision about this relationship one way or the other, but making it from a healthy position, not from a frightened reaction." — Wendy Behary Mentioned: Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed, by Wendy Behary Loving Leaving Living With...The Narcissist In Your Life Connect with Guest: Website: disarmingthenarcissist.com LinkedIn: Wendy Behary - Speaker-Lecturer - PESI Facebook: Wendy T. Behary Email: wendy.behary@gmail.com Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute and is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert, the author of The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind, and Life After a Life Crisis and the forthcoming book: Trust Again. Her recent Ph.D. study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal. She's an award-winning speaker, coach, and author dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, finances, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Debi and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Moving through the 5 stages of healing. Exploring deeper the levels of trust and deeper the levels of betrayal. Learning to recognize the physical and emotional symptoms of post betrayal syndrome. Micro betrayal: small betrayals that slowly deteriorate the trust in relationships. When a betrayer has no consequences, further deterioration of the relationship occurs and healing cannot begin. Beginning healing and starting the process of rebuilding relationships. Face it, feel it, heal it: working through betrayal and become the strongest version of yourself. "Betrayal is the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule." — Debi Silber Mentioned: Untamed by Glennon Doyle Trust Again, by Debi Silber The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind, and Life After a Life Crisis, by Debi Silber Connect with Debi Silber: Website: ThePBTInstitute.com Membership Community Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dealing with difficult emotions can feel uncertain, scary and extremely uncomfortable, especially when we have not had positive experiences with experiencing and expressing our emotion in the past. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The next three steps (out of five) in how to deal with difficult emotions. How we can recognize and identify our primary emotions. How acknowledging and naming our difficult emotions lessens the intensity of them and helps us begin the process of organizing and dealing with the emotion. How the questions we ask ourselves can contribute to more suffering and pain. What we can learn from our feelings and emotions. How the insights, learnings and lessons can help us move forward in a more powerful way. How self-compassion and understanding can help in the process of dealing with difficult emotions. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Untamed, by Glennon Doyle ERP 223: HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS – PART ONE ERP 142: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness ERP 143: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness – Part Two ERP 144: HOW TO INCREASE RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION WITH MINDFULNESS – PART THREE ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering ERP 156: What Happens When You Feel Like A Victim In Relationship ERP 157: HOW TO SHIFT OUT OF THE VICTIM POSITION ERP 095: How Your Beliefs Can Destroy Your Relationship ERP 096: HOW YOUR BELIEFS CAN DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO ERP 135: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART ONE ERP 136: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dealing with difficult emotions can feel uncertain, scary and extremely uncomfortable, especially when we have not had positive experiences with experiencing and expressing our emotion in the past. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The tendency to want to suppress, deny, avoid and reject our painful emotions. How avoiding painful and difficult emotions leads to more suffering and problems in the long-term. Learning to turn towards painful emotion can be terrifying, especially when we don't know how. The first two steps (out of five) in how to deal with difficult emotions. How feeling our emotion leads to our growth and development. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Untamed, by Glennon Doyle ERP 199: How To Use Emotional Intelligence For Connection ERP 200: How To Use Emotional Intelligence For Connection - Part Two ERP 222: How To Deal With Triggers In Relationship ERP 160: How To Deal With Anxiety In Relationship ERP 126: What To Do When You Feel Insecure In Relationship ERP 127: What To Do When You Feel Insecure In Relationship - Part Two ERP 018: How To Deal With Feelings Of Anger In Relationship ERP 135: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART ONE ERP 136: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO ERP 009: MY PERSONAL STORY – WHAT LED ME INTO THE FIELD OF COUPLES WORK AND RELATIONSHIP COACHING Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

David Richo Ph.D. is a Psychotherapist, Writer, and Workshop Leader. He teaches at a variety of places including Esalen and Spirit Rock Buddhist Center. He shares his time between Santa Barabara and San Francisco in California. Dave combines psychological and spiritual perspectives in his work. In this episode, David Richo and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The 3 common triggers: fear, anger, and sadness. The valuable lessons you can learn from your triggers. What happens when we live with triggers for a long period of time. Recognizing that you can be triggered by an environment, people, and/or events. Tools for working through triggers. "Relationships work best when we give equal attention to our own needs and to the needs of our partners and children." — David Richo Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication ERP 195: Essential Elements of Love (Podcast) ERP 196: Essential Elements of Love - Part Two (Podcast) Connect with David Richo: Website: DaveRicho.com Books: Triggers When the Past is Present How to Be an Adult in Love Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Brianna Wiest has traveled internationally as a journalist, written for Fortune 500 companies, and has spoken in cities around the continental United States. She is the author of five books, her latest, The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery is being published in 2020. Her dream is to use the power of words to help people awaken to their fullest potential, build emotional intelligence and fulfill their life purpose. In this episode, Brianna Wiest and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The difference between self-sabotage and victim mentality and how to recognize what you can and cannot control. Recognizing patterns in your relationships, so you can identify where healing needs to take place. "There (is) a shift that people make from being a victim of their story to the person who's writing the story." — Brianna Wiest Letting go of outside voices and expectations, so you can start connecting to what you really want to feel and experience. How self-sabotage is actually about loving yourself, and how that realization can lead to healing. How to gauge your level of self-sabotage, which can help indicate areas of resistance, as well as areas of flow. "Self-sabotage is not a way we hurt ourselves; it's a way we try to protect ourselves." — Brianna Wiest Mentioned: The Mountain Is You: Brianna Wiest Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Brianna Wiest: Website: briannawiest.com Instagram: instagram.com/briannawiest Podcast: Get Out Of Your Own Way Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, I am answering a listeners's question in how to reconnect emotionally with his wife. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The four stages of separation distress. The benefits and value of going slow to maintain emotional balance and regulation. How to reveal and soften to help create safety. The importance of being emotionally present and attuned to your significant other. Where men often get stuck in connecting emotionally, especially when there is conflict. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson ERP 220: How To Deal With Stonewalling In Relationship (podcast) Still Face Experiment (video) Hole Me Tight (course) Dr. Susan Johnson talk "Conversations at The Royal: Love Sense" (video) Love Sense (book) by Dr. Susan Johnson Hold Me Tight (book) by Dr. Susan Johnson The Gottman Institute (website) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.