The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one discusses what happens when people have different expectations for the empty nester years. For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ If you have said anything like this, this is the episode for you.  Comments like this are sexist and not even true.  Both genders like appreciation, and words of affirmation is a gender-neutral love language.  If you don't want your husband to say sexist stuff like, "Women are irrational," then don't make sweeping insulting comments about men!  Not to mention that women want a cookie for physical intimacy or whatever other aspect of a partnership that they personally don't prioritize doing in exactly the same proportion as men want a cookie for doing chores.  And when it goes beyond appreciation, people of BOTH genders act like martyrs and should work on it!

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, tomorrow's will explore what happens when people have different expectations for the empty nester years. For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ If you have tried to give your husband more sex but he's still not acting any less sad/angry/lonely, perhaps you will have to listen to my kids and penicillin analogy again, and think about what would happen if he did one load of laundry every month and said this was "enough" to make you happy.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, tomorrow's will explore what happens when people have different expectations for the empty nester years. For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ I still get emails from readers of my 2014 article on Psych Central about engaging narcissists in couples counseling: https://psychcentral.com/pro/engaging-narcissists-in-couples-counseling.  As the idea of "narc abuse" has taken over popular media, many people put narcissists into a category of unchangeable and "bad" in a way that we used to think of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (which has been disproven).  In this episode, I discuss how many, many narcissists change and grow in therapy, and what to look for in a therapist when you're dealing with this issue.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, tomorrow's will explore what happens when people have different expectations for the empty nester years. For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ If you were raised in a negative, anxious home, it is easy to replicate this for your child without intending to.  This episode explores how anxiety may be constricting your life in ways you don't even think about, and how to help your children grow into confident, unencumbered adults.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, the most recent is discussing why not to marry someone who puts you on a pedestal! For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Sex is the male proxy variable for INTIMACY AND LOVE.  It isn't about sex.  They want a loving wife and you can say you're loving if you never hug your husband but you're lying to yourself. Would you hire a babysitter who didn't want to touch your baby? Listen for more analogies that annoy you because you know I have a point.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, the most recently why you shouldn't marry someone who puts you on a pedestal! For more discussion about these topics, join my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ This question came up in my Facebook group!  Your "type" is related to many things, which we explore in this episode.  Also, should you ever marry against type?

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, the most recently why you shouldn't marry someone who puts you on a pedestal! For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Why do women do this monstrous thing?  You can probably understand it a lot better after this podcast!  And... it's kind of like stuff you do yourself (gasp!).

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, the next will be why you shouldn't marry someone who puts you on a pedestal! For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Many of my clients are people who pushed away prior partners who were too into them, and only settled down with the person who, in retrospect, showed all the signs of not really liking them too much.  Then, later in their marriages, these clients are upset by how disconnected they feel, sexually, emotionally, and more, from their partners... who didn't actually change all that much! Take note: even if you divorce your spouse, you will likely still be drawn toward people who aren't that into you.... unless you work on your self esteem!  Listen for more.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, the most recent is discussing how you should divorce when you're not angry but accepting. For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ I was asked what I think about the ideas of evoking anxiety to keep a woman interested (e.g., making her anxious that you will leave her) and other ideas from men's forums. What's good for the goose is good for the gander, so the same way as I made fun of the Fair Play book, I make fun of a Married Red Pill post.  Listen and learn why LYING, MANIPULATING, AND HANDLING PEOPLE IS UNETHICAL AND DOESN'T WORK LONG TERM.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe And you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes, the most recent is discussing how you should divorce when you're not angry but accepting. For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Many men, especially if they were raised in a more conservative home, are fascinated by more liberal women when they meet them in college or beyond. This is in part because they conflate a liberal political viewpoint with sexual openmindedness and drive. As these men eventually realize, these are very different constructs.  Further, from what I see in my office, any political extremism (in either direction) is related to being MORE closedminded and unempathic, not less so.  This means that the woman who advocates tirelessly for the needs of others may have a complete blind spot to seeing your sexual needs as valid.  Understand what is and what isn't a proxy variable for sexuality, and you won't keep banging your head against the wall trying to square the circle of your wife.