The Dr. Psych Mom Show with clinical psychologist Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one discusses what type of porn HELPS with sex lives! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ In this episode, I discuss when there is an "elephant in the room" of a relationship... when at least one person feels there is a deficit or a secret but it never gets discussed.  These can include: a lack of attraction, bad sex, not actually finding your partner smart/funny/interesting, being embarrassed of your partner, and more. If you're in a relationship like this, get out before you get married... this feeling never goes away!

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one discusses what type of porn HELPS with sex lives! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Guess what, women don't call back after a kiss is bad and this is the same thing.  When guys have enjoyed a sexual encounter, they want to repeat it.  Saying guys just want to "use" women is not reality. The reality is that guys call back when they loved the sexual experience, same as anyone wants to repeat something they like.  Here's how to use this knowledge for your dating life!

If you need help with intimacy, I have hired a new sexologist that can work in all states and internationally: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/heather-ray-certified-sexologist !! She works with individuals and couples virtually. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about what kind of porn actually HELPS sex lives! A lot of guys think that women know what turns them on, but many women have LITERALLY no idea. I will discuss why this happens even if you think you've told your wife what turns you on.  Spoiler: you may not have in the way you need to. I will also address the whole women taking charge fantasy which men think women understand and they usually don't. For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about the DOWN SIDE if you want an alpha man or a highly sexual woman! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Particularly for women, not having any family members to rely on can shape the trajectory of their lives in specific ways that I often see in my practice.  The main ones that I see are anxiety and depression about being alone with small kids, hatred and fear of a husband traveling for work/play, envy of women who have supportive moms, and inlaw issues. If this is you or your partner's situation, listen and learn!

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about the DOWN SIDE if you want an alpha man or a highly sexual woman! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ A lot of people believe that "avoidant attachment" behaviors are solely related to attachment, but there are a lot of personality traits that get subsumed under this framing.  In this episode, I discuss how people vary on different dimensions of personality, and what you may be thinking of as an "avoidant attachment" spouse who just needs to heal attachment wounds and will then come forward with more love and interdependence may actually just be a person who is NOT Highly Sensitive and is NOT wired to deeply attach.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about the DOWN SIDE if you want an alpha man or a highly sexual woman! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ A lot of cynics think that the dating marketplace is mostly based on money and height for guys and facial beauty/thinness for women. I have frequently tried to dispel this bullshit (see this https://open.spotify.com/episode/7owbHPhVhOqjklT3ZDOh5Y?si=V9s-ZOtNT0u0NYOS-LxLuA and this https://open.spotify.com/episode/1VNWJ7uJewskJUROiUNeX0?si=UppY9ns6SdiRW2-RcDZ2DQ), but that doesn't mean there is no marketplace at all!  In this episode, I discuss the hierarchy that I actually see in the dating arena, and which men and women truly are more desirable than others.  Good news: you can make yourself infinitely more desirable to the opposite sex JUST BY WORKING ON ONE ASPECT OF YOURSELF!

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about how to model being a "happy adult" for your kids when you never saw this growing up! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ In my Facebook group which you should join (link above), people were saying I should talk more about average sex vs good sex vs kinky sex. I was saying honestly it is a mindblower to most people that their partner wants their genitals touched prior to intercourse so I would rather spend my efforts helping humanity learn this and other similar level epiphanies if I want to do the most net good. However, sometimes it can be useful to expand the frame and take a 40,000 foot view of sex, which looks at the sex people ARE having and the sex they COULD be having along a spectrum. Most people, even if they are "experienced" (aka what women think of husbands who slept with two more people than they themselves did, possibly only once each) have zero idea what their full sexual potential is, and as a loving partner, it would be awesome for you to try and and show them! Listen for more!

If you need help with intimacy, I have hired a new sexologist that can work in all states and internationally: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/heather-ray-certified-sexologist !! Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about how to model being a "happy adult" for your kids when you never saw this growing up! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ So I shared a meme on Facebook about a dude who was wearing a vest in a family picture and the caption was something funny like "My wife wanted me to wear a vest but I'm not a vest guy so we compromised and I wore a vest." Some people got up in arms saying that it is emotionally abusive to want your partner to wear something specific. OMG let's even say this was real and not a joke... well, unless she had a gun to his head, it's not abusive to ask your adult partner to do something for you INCLUDING dress in a way you think is attractive.  All the dudes saying vest guy has no boundaries definitely wish they could ask their wives to wear sexy lingerie, I'm guessing!  Well, if you don't wear a vest when she wants, you are not going to get her to wear crotchless underwear when you want.  Holy shit this is a short sighted, self-indulgent way to view romantic relationships, and dovetails well with my Cult of Boundaries podcast as well as my request from my Facebook group to talk more about kinky sex.  And if you love to hear me rant about societal mores, this episode will be a delight!  Note that if you want to hear me talk about ACTUAL abuse, wait till the end.

Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about how to model being a "happy adult" for your kids when you never saw this growing up! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ Totally!  Like if your spouse was super in love with you and happy and kind, and then they contracted this horrible disease where their genitals fell off and were no longer able to touch anyone because also their skin fell off, you probably should ethically remain married because your partner is a tragic figure and vows are forever.  However, strangely enough, this is an unlikely case.  Here's why "you're only leaving me about sex" is never the full story.

If you need help with intimacy, I have hired a new sexologist that can work in all states and internationally: https://www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com/heather-ray-certified-sexologist !! She works with individuals and couples virtually. Subscribe if you love the DPM show! https://anchor.fm/drpsychmomshow/subscribe and you'll get all my awesome bonus episodes; the most recent one is about how to model being a "happy adult" for your kids when you never saw this growing up! For my secret Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/becomesupporter/DrPsychMom/ For coaching from DPM, visit https://www.drpsychmom.com/coaching/ For therapy, contact us at www.bestlifebehavioralhealth.com Follow me on TikTok! https://www.tiktok.com/@therealdrpsychmom and YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqLm4xRaUeroBodFc-h4XDQ I said it before and I'll say it again. If everything rides on the guy's erection, this ain't gonna work long term. Many women won't think outside the box (the puns are really rolling now) when it comes to orgasms, and it's also fucking boring (and boring fucking!) to only have one way to ever get off. Not to mention it's super anxiety provoking for the guy.... can you imagine if he couldn't get excited or finish unless you got and stayed a certain level of wet for the duration of the encounter?? All this and more. Recommended reading:  https://www.drpsychmom.com/2020/11/07/diversify-your-sex-life-portfolio-for-long-term-success/ https://www.drpsychmom.com/2022/03/26/sex-needs-to-evolve-when-youre-older/