Finding the Throughline with Kate Hanley

You could spend most of the day and night worrying–and how unproductive and unpleasant is that? Today I’m sharing how to put up some boundaries around your attention so that you set aside specific time and space for worrying–a technique I learned about from a 9-year-old. This episode sponsored by: Better Help Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I’m talking about anxiety. I mean, mid-December–‘tis the season, isn’t it? Lots to do, lots of expectations to manage, lots of opportunities to feel like your experience doesn’t match the cultural narrative of how the holidays are ‘supposed’ to be. Sometimes anxiety is absolutely appropriate. But many times it isn’t a match for whatever it is you’re facing–it’s like using a chef’s knife to butter your bread, something I actually tried to do this morning because i didn’t want to dirty another knife and I can confirm, it was overkill. So let’s dive in to some ways to work with it. Today’s tool is trust. I’m sharing 4 affirmations to help you access trust even when you’re feeling anxious:I trust myself to do my part. I trust life to do its part.  If things ever feel like too much, I trust myself to ask for help. I trust that things are working out for the greater good. This episode sponsored by: Better Help Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This week I’ve been sharing new ways of thinking that can help you stay in a more positive place. And today I wanted to answer a listener question that relates to this idea, and offers a mindset hack to help. Camille from Canada writes, “Lately I’ve realized that I spend a lot of time–too much time–and energy on worrying about other people. I love being a good friend and family member to others, but I’ve been feeling really frazzled lately, and like I’m not paying enough attention to my own life and needs. Does it make me a bad person if I want to do less for the people I care about? How do I stick to my own lane?”Relevant How to Be a Better Person episodes:The Surprising Power of Bearing WitnessValidate, Validate, ValidateListen BetterRelevant Tara Brach episodes:Beyond the Controlling Self, Part 1Beyond the Controlling Self, Part 2This episode sponsored by: Better HelpNutrafol promo code “BETTER” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m guessing that the voice you use to talk to yourself isn’t currently all that friendly or supportive. So today’s mindset hack is to try on a new inner voice. (My current fave? Dolly Parton! Or, my dog, if she could speak English). This episode sponsored by: Better HelpNutrafol promo code “BETTER” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A mode of thinking that can really keep us stuck in that place of feeling upset and down and small-minded is judgment, whether we’re judging other people, or judging ourselves. So today I’m replaying an interview from 2020 that breaks down what judgment is, and how we can understand where it comes from so that we can work with it more skillfully. Here goes!Check out Suzanne’s websiteThis episode sponsored by: Better HelpNutrafol promo code “BETTER” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How many times have you beaten yourself up for spending money or time on something that didn’t end up panning out? It’s easy to do, because we tend to think of time and money as zero sum games--once they’re gone, they’re gone, and they’re never coming back. Which is not actually true. So let’s break up the shame cycle that is all too often built into spending both money and time with a quick mindset adjustment. This episode sponsored by: Better HelpNutrafol promo code “BETTER” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this busy holiday month, I’m coming to you with some mindset hacks–little pivots in your thinking that can help things feel a lot less stressful and give you more energy and resilience at any time of year.  Today’s mindset hack is to start training yourself to look for the loving reason why something has happened. When I say loving reason, I mean an explanation that suggests that things are working out the way they are because of a beneficial reason, even when it might seem like they’re falling apart. I’m basically asking you to try on the idea that life is happening for you instead of to you. Let’s do this!This episode sponsored by: Better HelpNutrafol promo code “BETTER” Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You can be generous in some ways, and stingy in others. And it’s really fascinating to start to unpack where you are a natural giver, and where you might be more likely to freeze up and think, oh heck no.Maybe those are areas that you can think about differently and find your way to feeling more generous; but maybe those are just things that don’t suit you for some reason, and you can focus on other ways to be more giving without feeling bad that you’re secretly a Scrooge. This episode sponsored by: Better HelpGive online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BETTERPERSON and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

While giving is often energizing, there are definitely times when it’s draining. Or even upsetting. It can leave you feeling taken advantage of, or unappreciated. And that doesn’t feel good. In addition, sometimes *your* giving can make the person you’re trying to give to feel bad--micromanaged, or like you think they aren’t capable. So today, let’s figure out how to keep giving in the realm of feeling good.This episode sponsored by: Better HelpGive online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BETTERPERSON and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We think about giving to others in very practical ways, but there are ways that you can give to people emotionally, too. And some of them feel good. But others, really don’t. Today I talk with Damon Brown, a coach for non-traditional entrepreneurs who does a lot of emotional support in his line of work, as well as a multi-time author (links to his book just below), about how to value the emotional labor you do for others, and how to discern when maybe that’s not your work to do. Damon’s websiteDamon’s Bring Your Worth YouTube showThis episode sponsored by: Better HelpGive online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BETTERPERSON and get on your way to being your best self. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices