The Partnership Podcast

On Episode 40, Trey tosses out a question to Lauren at 6:52am that gets her engine revving! Over the next 45 minutes they break down how love differs from cathexis, creating a nurturing adult, the questions we ask that are NOT questions, the vulnerability of requesting help, and facing the truth about our own needs. Trust is crucial inside of partnership, yet many of us have very few examples of trustworthy relationships. Lauren shares how our families of origins shape our earliest understandings of communication, but sadly, very few of our parents were experts. Trey asks if it is up to us to heal and rebuild, so that our partners do not pay the price of our inability to ask for what we need, want, and desire. Trey wants you to know that there is a small skip at minute 27:00 due to an editing error. Lauren thinks it’s minor, but he’s appalled!  If you would like to develop tools to rebuild trust inside of your partnerships, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication and restoration. Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

A close friend of Lauren’s took flight from this world this week. Episode 39 finds this duo sitting with all the many colors of grief inside of partnership. You’ll witness tears, laughter, confusion, and wonder as Lauren shares her process in real time. Trey is aware that losses like this often trigger Lauren’s “mother-wound.” Having lost her mother in 2007 to cancer, death has a tendency to rock her world. And yet, this loss feels integrated, expansive, and grounded. While devastated, Lauren shares how she is using so many tools she has learned from her friend J to care for herself in this process of grief.   Trey closes the episode by sharing how he is holding space for Lauren’s emotions without allowing them to overwhelm his nervous system. If you would like to develop tools to navigate grief inside of your partnerships, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication and restoration. Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Lauren and Trey FINALLY SAW THE BARBIE MOVIE!! Episode 38 is their hot take on the themes they observed including the hilarious jabs the film makes at the Patriarchy. This episode marks ONE FULL YEAR of releasing podcasts out into the wild and Lauren and Trey sharing their thoughts with you in real time! :) Thanks for being here! Lauren shares how many folks are frustrated with their partner’s lack of interest in seeing The Barbie Movie with them and how there’s really another question beneath that request. Trey shares the parts of the film he found most funny including Ryan Gosling’s brilliant portrayal of Ken. They discuss the push-back the film has gotten including the inclusion of gender expansive actors. Lauren asks Trey what he thought of America Ferrera’s monologue that brought her to tears which leads to a deep discussion on masculine and feminine energies and the differences in similarities and polarities in partnership. All in all, Lauren AND Trey LOVED the film and highly suggest you and your partner give it a watch! If you want to dive more deeply into any of the topics discussed today, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication and restoration. Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

In Episode 37 Lauren and Trey recap their recent travel and the result of the Event Planner and Day of Coordinator roles they brainstormed on Episode 36. Spoiler, it went wonderfully, despite feeling like they were being punked in the international terminal at LAX! At minute 16:00 Trey gives a shout out to an audience member who flagged him down on the golf course! He shares how hilarious it is to him that after decades in film and television, it is this podcast that gets him recognized. For the meat of the podcast Lauren shares something she's been brainstorming recently after re-listening to the work of Alison Armstrong. She is coming to believe that "conflict is the result of problems we fail to address" and she asks Trey to weigh in with his own thoughts and feelings. A fun conversation ensues that you won’t want to miss!! If you want to learn about how to handle problems and conflict in your partnership, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication and restoration. Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

After last week’s doozy of an episode, Trey and Lauren recap what they did to repair and restore their relationship after they turned off the cameras last week.  Emily Nagoski says that, “the sign of relationship health is not whether or not a couple argues. But rather, how quickly they find their way back to one another.” On episode 36, Trey and Lauren recap share the different tricks they now use to find their way back.  They talk all things nervous systems, Nurturing Meditations, and the power of re-negotiation. Then at minute 25:14 they pivot the conversation to talk about upcoming travel and how they could possibly handle the stress differently! They nominate Lauren to take on the role of “Day of Coordinator” and allow Trey to take a back seat as the “Event Planner.”  This episode feels like a walk in the park after the last one, so if you need to restore your own nervous system! We recommend you watch or listen! Spoiler alert, they did find a safe word. ;)  If you want to learn about how to find your way back to your partner, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication and restoration. Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

If you ever wonder what real human conflict looks like, just watch/listen to this podcast. There’s not much more to say about Episode 35. The moment Lauren sits down, Trey brings up the mortgage and the rest of this conflict happens in real time. You will see these two on the struggle-bus for roughly 30 minutes straight. You’ll hear lengthy pauses and feel the awkward silences. You will see tears, hear juvenile thoughts, and feel Lauren’s feigned powerlessness. Rewiring our brains is not easy. At minute 11:23 Lauren references the scarcity mindset and the concept of women being of “lesser mind.” She is still seeking to overcome these patterns and conversations like this one about the mortgage still trigger deep fear in her.  At minute 16:42 Trey brings up the concept of holding space and how easy it could be in these moments to say things like “you’re being ridiculous.” Chores/mental load, sex, and money are three of the top reasons partnerships dissolve. And we can see why! At minute 21:00 Trey shares that Lauren is not being manipulative and Lauren shares her favorite concept of “feigned powerlessness.”  We FINALLY get to the root at minute 25:44. Trey shares the tally marks he’s made recently over the overabundance of investment he feels he’s made into Lauren’s business within the last few weeks. Do not miss the side-eye at minute 26:53.  They eventually reveal each other’s insecurities, feelings of failure, and their deep desires to serve and support one another. Lauren uncovers how she treats others better than she treats Trey and she commits to doing better.  What you do NOT see off-screen is the Nurturing Meditation Lauren and Trey do immediately after recording; followed by a walk to complete the stress response cycle in their bodies.  If it feels comfortable to you, push through and listen to the end. We promise it does get better and the episode ends with laughter and joy. If you want to talk more about stumbling through conflict with your partner you can click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication. Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Let’s get right to it. Episode 34 talks about Oral Sex a LOT. If that’s not your cup of tea, this might be the episode for you!  Lauren has recently been re-reading Dr. Betty Martin's book, THE ART OF RECEIVING AND GIVING. At minute 1:50 she shares how Dr. Martin suggests that many folks might think they dislike receiving when REALLY they dislike enduring, tolerating and allowing.  At minute 13:40 Lauren unpacks the four quadrants of Dr. Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent and they both talk about how allowing is NOT the same as receiving. At minute 14:50 Trey reveals that he has disliked blow jobs since high school due to the tremendous pressure to orgasm. He and Lauren go on to unpack the basics of the 3-Minute Game and agree to use it to uncover new ways to receive oral gifts in the way they ACTUALLY want them.  Lauren shares a recent lightbulb moment she had about her Core Erotic Theme at minute 21:20 and how it influenced her in buying an old fashioned chemise that’s maybe gotten her laid a couple of times. :-) Whether you call it consent or a game plan, Lauren and Trey hope you'll incorporate some of what you learn today into your sexual play with your partners! Wanna learn more about taking, allowing, serving, and receiving CONSENSUALLY?! You can click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult She would love to walk you and your partners into playful freedom. Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Do you ever find yourself in the car with your partner thinking, “are we there yet?!?” If so, Episode 33 is for you! Trey and Lauren took a little road trip on the 4th of July and what could have turned into “road-gate,” instead took a turn for the better! Despite high stress from a crazy storm on the dark county roads, Trey chose curiosity instead of rage and Lauren leaned into neutrality over self-blame. This short-and-sweet episode will have you snickering at Trey’s tongue-in-cheek critique of Lauren’s driving skills. (You know we all do it!) Celebrate with these two as they break patterns and acknowledge little wins even when they seem small. If you are curious about how to approach old patterns with your partner,, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult with Lauren today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult She would love to walk you and your partners into autonomy, change, and celebration! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

You’ve been asking, “What’s up with Trey and weed? WHY doesn’t Lauren care when he says he’s going to stop, but starts right up again!? Does weed affect your partnership?” Such great questions and they’re tackling them all on Episode 32! In her previous marriage, Lauren experienced the harmful ramifications of alcoholism. She also felt the deep pain of trying to “make someone change,” and vowed never to do that again.  Trey began using weed as a Californian highschooler and it’s been a part of his life ever since. Lauren asks him about belonging, avoidance, consequences, and negative ramifications Trey’s experienced. Then, they turn the tables and discuss Lauren’s alcohol use. Any substance can be poison or medicine and these two chat about using weed and alcohol to cope, to soothe, to escape, and to heal.  If you and your partners have different substances of choice, this episode will be a fantastic resource! If you’d like to unpack co-dependency and your tendency to want to control your partner’s habits, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult with Lauren today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult She would love to walk you and your partners into autonomy and freedom of choice! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Well, they did it. They watched the documentary about fundamentalist religion and The Institute in Basic Life Principles on Amazon Prime entitled: SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE. (https://amzn.to/44dDOHP) While The Secrets of Hillsong on Hulu was difficult to get through, Lauren was much more afraid to watch this piece of media as it closely aligns with the life she escaped.  Trey doesn’t say much on this episode, but if you watch closely, you can see his blood boiling as he gently asks question after question to more deeply understand Lauren’s lived experience.  If your partner comes from a faith structure that indoctrinated them to believe that they are deeply depraved, we highly recommend watching this documentary for your own benefit. They say a picture says more than a thousand words and for Trey and Lauren this was absolutely the case. Through SHINY HAPPY PEOPLE (which they consistently call the wrong name) Trey was able to learn about: homeschooling, parentification, courtship, headship, absolute authority, corporate and familial discipline, abuse, emotional repression, gender roles, total depravity, and control. Lauren tells story after story and Trey shares that he now understands why her face sometimes changes to that of a child’s when she feels she has made a mistake. If you are also a survivor of Religious Indoctrination, click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult with Lauren today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult She would love to walk you and your partners to freedom and joyful expression of yourselves! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.