The Partnership Podcast

In this episode, Trey and Lauren reflect on three major misunderstandings from their vacation. With transparency and vulnerability, they explore how these instances triggered deeply rooted traumas within each other, shedding light on the complexities that emerged amidst their disagreements. Amidst the turmoil, Lauren advocates for a shift in perspective, encouraging Trey to embrace curiosity during their arguments and misunderstandings. This episode delves into the emotional intricacies of their relationship, offering listeners a poignant glimpse into the challenges of navigating conflict and healing wounds in real time. Tune in to witness an unfiltered dialogue as Trey and Lauren traverse the nuances of their journey, seeking understanding, growth, and connection in the face of adversity. Click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today!! Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how we" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.  Please note: Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator. Looking to expand your own sexuality education? Check out our monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ (for femme-presenting people only at this time)

Episode 49 is all about travel post-blow-up and the guardrails Trey and Lauren are putting into place to support themselves and one another. They detail the ways in which this recent trip to NYC majorly differed from past adventures - specifically their new “ouch” check-ins and taking accountability for themselves first! If you listen till the end you’ll catch a hilarious story of train bathroom intimacy and how obstacles can be titillating or terrifying. If you would like to learn more about guardrails like this inside of partnership, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult! Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

They are finding their way back to each other - gently, slowly, and tenderly. This episode is full of the tools they are using and the insight they have sought from outside sources. At minute 10:28 Trey shares how their joint Human Design reading with Andie Thueson provided wisdom they were craving! Click here to book your own: https://andiethueson.as.me/schedule.php Lauren explains how needed this reading was for her and they both share their biggest takeaways and how they are using them in this time of healing. Lauren talks about their Anniversary Dinner and how she felt hopeful for the first time. The new information they’d taken in gave them new things to discuss and it was healing. Trey shares how Lauren hadn’t even felt safe to be naked in front of him and at minute 29:45 Lauren describes the Sensate Focus work they used to learn one another’s bodies in new ways. This exercise allowed trust to be rebuilt patiently. At minute 32:00 Lauren gets firey as she explains how she remained an ally to herself throughout this hard time - NEVER granting access to body without feeling safe and secure. She expands on Sensate Focus and how Dr Betty Martin’s tools gave her words to ask for what she needed, wanted, and desired. Trey describes their joint coaching session and the new routines they’re implementing to allow them both to check-in daily. Lauren gets giddy as she talks about all they learned through archetypes! Trey describes the “Good Boy” he turns into and how it leads Lauren to feel like a princess in a tower. At minute 41:00 they discuss the tool they learned of “gathering our council.” And Trey challenges men to not be “such a grumpy mother f*cker” and embrace childhood wounds. Trey says this is work he GETS to do - not that he HAS to do. Trey expresses his gratitude for the blow-up and Lauren shares how the outside insight has given her hope. At minute 47:00 Lauren asks if this experience has pushed them forward and Trey answers that Lauren feels more sacred to him now. If you would like to learn more about healing and coming back to each other in partnership, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult! Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator. Looking to expand your own sexuality education? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠

Oh friends, Episode 47 is raw. You might remember Trey’s recent feelings of excessive output - well, it didn’t end. After two weeks of tallying and nit-picking, it all came to a nasty head on Monday night of last week. Lauren shares how she was deeply hurt and how her body got her out of bed at 2:45am to journal. Trey describes how he came down to find her and details the conversation they had from 3:00am-5:00am Tuesday morning. You’ll see how tired Lauren is and yet grounded in her center. She shares how she felt like a Mama Bear for her younger self and knew that if Trey did not get outside help this would be the “beginning of the end,” because this is not her work to do, but his work to tackle on his own. Lauren talks through her desire to get back to a place of open heartedness, but to NOT have it help against her in any way. Trey committed to seeking outside help from one of Lauren’s dear colleagues and to join Lauren for a partnered Human Design reading on Thursday - their 1st Anniversary. He promised to get to the root of this wound and cease this maltreatment. Trey woke up on Tuesday and made a detailed list of things that are his to work on. Despite this work, the day was sensitive and fragile and Lauren shares how her body had the hardest time feeling safe and the tools Trey used to help her access anger - including making her walk at the golf course and giving her permission to call him names and rage at him. At minute 43:00 they share about some of the guardrails they’re instituting now, even without fully healing. One of these new patterns is ‘TIDY TIME’ and another is sharing our “ouches” nightly. Want to see Lauren in her anger? Watch the video at minute 47:00 where Trey brings up his birthday and his expectation that Lauren “curate” a magical day for him. You’ll hear Lauren’s complete disinterest in sex and her disgust with being rushed. At minute 54:00 you’ll hear Trey say, “if I can’t be that to you, you need to go!” We cannot force someone to change or to heal or to grow. If they are not willing to do the work, we need to go. Lauren continually says that she is scared but she is not a victim. Trust is earned through trustworthy behavior and she is ready to see the work. Lauren is in the water, hanging to the life saver and she tells Trey that she needs him to pull her to safety. There’s still more to come of this slow journey to resolution - as this was filmed on Wednesday after the crack in their bond on Monday - but they hope you benefit from this real-time look at emotional wounding and the gentle steps they are both taking to heal themselves and their partnership. If you would like to learn more about conflict like this inside of partnership, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult! Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 46 is short and sweet! Trey and Lauren start off talking about the discomfort Lauren’s been experiencing in her body in this season of growth and how so many go through similar seasons! At minute 3:14 Lauren talks about the nausea she’s been experiencing for the past month. Is she pregnant or is it a precursor for something else? They review tools to combat anxiety and how to support one another as they step into something new! Then they launch in the public partnership of the moment, TAYLOR AND TRAVIS! Trey moans over the recent publicity the Chiefs have received and considers whether or not it’s the best for Travis to be out at all hours before a game and Lauren shares how she thinks this pairing is incredible! Individuation is so important inside of partnership as are our natural stages of human development! Lauren and Trey discuss where they were in their own growth when they met and if they’d met earlier if their relationship would have even happened! Enjoy this short and sweet episode and the ponderings of this growing partnership! If you would like to learn more about individuating inside of partnership, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult! Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Trey and Lauren open Episode 45 with the update you’ve been waiting for! Did Trey gather enough courage to orgasm?!?! You’ll have to tune-in to find out! This episode was recorded 10-days-post-op and it’s hilarious to see Trey’s real-time reaction as well as Lauren’s attempt at describing a meme she sent to Trey as he was healing! Follow The Partnership Podcast on instagram to see the actual image! Lauren asks about the quality of Trey’s orgasms post surgery and he shares that they do feel slightly less forceful as of right now, but promises to keep us all posted. At minute 5:45 Lauren launches into the exhaustive weekend that began on Trey’s birthday, Oct 6, 2023 lasted until Wednesday morning Oct 11, 2023 and the burnout that ensued! Trey walks us through the feelings of, “holy fuckin’ shit, I do a lot for my wife.” at minute 9:00. Lauren asks him about the characteristics of “pissy Trey” and what he goes to in moments of anger and exhaustion. They talk about the lessons they’re learning about how to support one another in the midst of individual stress instead of allowing themselves to be triggered by the other’s bad mood. At minute 13:45 they recount Trey’s most passive aggressive moment from Wednesday that involved his golf clubs and a two second video. Wanna see a reenactment? Make sure to pull up your video at minute 14:49! At minute 16:00 they revisit their Projector and Generator types in Human Design. In the midst of Trey’s mood, Lauren challenged herself to have compassion for Trey’s exhaustion and allow him to take all the space he needed while simultaneously caring for her nervous system. By minute 19:00 they’re unpacking consensual and non-consensual gifts and Trey's ability to anticipate needs. If his gifts of service are not requested, are they really gifts? What do you think? Should Lauren feel guilty for not doing more for him? Do you curate restful experiences for your partner? Trey is a master at curation and sadly Lauren is not! In their partnership, Trey is learning to ask for what he needs and Lauren is learning to provide specific acts of service that align with his needs INSTEAD of over functioning and providing things he doesn’t need or want! At minute 23:00 he shares that if Lauren had gone to an overabundance of words of affirmation when he needed space it would have felt disingenuous and harmful. Projectors often need time alone - ESPECIALLY SLEEP - in the future, Lauren might very well send Trey to his favorite hotel after a weekend of insane output to recharge in a way that feels best in his body. At minute 27:00 Lauren shares one of the magical things she is discovering with so many clients right now. So many of us have a tendency to say, “I don’t need _________.” When really our bodies learned to survive without something necessary in order to function in our families of origin. Lauren asks Trey to take advantage of her Generator power. And Trey says that he really wants to get better at asking for help when he’s stressed. At minute 31:00 they talk about how they came back together and the giggles and snuggles that ensued! If you would like to learn more about vasectomy and navigating burnout with your partner, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult! Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠

Welcome to episode 44 where Lauren and Trey talk about their journey into and through Trey’s vasectomy! This episode was recorded just DAYS after he was snipped and while the whole experience is still VERY fresh in his mind!  Lauren opens storytime reminding the audience about her scare over the summer with a uterine fibroid. It was at that point that Trey decided to find a urologist and get on the books! At minute 8:57 Lauren asks Trey to tell the story of his initial consult! He shares that he seriously felt like he was in middle school health class!  At minute 15:00 Trey launches into his experience of the day of surgery and how he felt far from sexual! Then at minute 18:18 Trey gets wheeled back to have his vasectomy!! Trey gives his play-by-play of the surgery which is great and short and sweet, then, at minute 21:25, Lauren comes behind and gives the much more colorful and accurate version! ;)  Trey shares how he felt “meek” in the hospital gown, which is totally a thing! At minute 29:00 Lauren shares one of her favorite moments all regarding “scrotal wear!” Lauren asks all about recovery at minute 33:00 including arousal and desire and at minute 34:00 Trey shares that he is, “afraid to come.” Lauren shares at minute 39:00 how this whole thing has created such a large obstacle to sex and has made her so very horny!! Jack Morin’s Erotic Equation, ATTRACTION + OBSTACLE = EXCITEMENT is on display!! If you would like to learn more about alternate forms of birth control and how to discuss them with your partner, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult! Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

So many giggles on Episode 43 of the Partnership Podcast where Lauren and Trey cover their original Partnership Yes/No Lists, the 3 C’s of Partnership, and their recent sexy getaway! At minute 4:50 Lauren and Trey start unpacking the logical choice they made in choosing partnership with one another. Listeners will enjoy their short trip down memory lane as they approach their anniversary and giggle over Lauren’s most used word of the week, BEMOANING: to regard with displeasure, disapproval, or regret. At minute 7:20 they start to unpack the “lists” they each made independently before meeting on October 26, 2019. Lauren wants the audience to understand that we each individually get to be specific about our desires for a partner, but that does NOT excuse us from unpacking the harmful effects of cultural beauty standards. For Trey, his list was helpful, because it allowed him to get, “clear on what he wanted” and then forget about it! Lauren wrote her “list” slightly differently in 2019 when she was coming to grips with being a divorcee and single mother! (Enjoy your hilarious NFL moment at minute 16:21!) At minute 19:25 Lauren shares how Nora McInery’s book, NO HAPPY ENDINGS, inspired her to write a story different from the sad one she was experiencing! Nora taught her to write “lonely hearts club ads” that allowed her to look beyond the limits of her small town and for a future partner like Trey! Honing in on what you want allows our future partners to be the object of our truest desire and WOW is that powerful! At minute 22:00 our hosts begin to take us on the hilarious journey of their weekend getaway! They share the highs and lows and inbetweens of this sex-cation gone… sideways! There’s a slight skip at minute 24:58, but nothing is lost!! Lauren shares how anxiety and separateness build her anticipation for the evening and on the contrary,Trey shares the work he did to slow his mind and his rhythms down in order to be present as a lover. They both giggle about the nervousness they experience over not knowing what they’re gonna talk about and then tell the story about what they did AFTER dinner and before going back to their room! Listeners will laugh when Lauren talks about the planning that goes into the undergarments that we wear or do NOT wear on dates!! Trey talks to the fellas for a moment at minute 31:00 about outercourse and training up your skills! If anyone needs teaching tools, of course, reach out to Lauren for more info on OMG Yes! Oh… but friends, the real meat of the podcast begins at minute 35:00! We’re not gonna give it away here, so make sure you watch or listen! At minute 36:30 Lauren talks about how she refused to hate on her body “stuffed” in lingerie because as adrienne marie brown states in PLEASURE ACTIVISM, there is “big business in not being enough!” They talk about the fun and then the moment the fun goes WRONG at minute 41:13 and how they responded and handled disappointment in the middle of their sexy weekend! Lauren shares that the grace and compassion she extended to herself was so important in overcoming the disappointment of a “failed” encounter! Trey shares how caretaking was important and needed in the moment! If you would like to learn to plan a sexy getaway, improve your partnered sexual encounters, or write a pro/con list for a future partner, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult! Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠

Do old wounds ever show up in your partnership when you’re trying to learn new things? Then Episode 42 is for you! Trey shares more than he EVER has as he tells Lauren the story of his weekend on the golf course and how his body internalized GOLF as trauma. Lauren invites him to share the origin story of his anger and how he’s working through rage now. At minute 7:07 Trey remembers how his rage this past Saturday was directed at his mom. He shares the story of the time they were driving on the freeway in LA when he was 8 or 9 and how she proceeded to yell at him at the top of her lungs while driving 60 mph. Trey’s biggest question becomes, “what is the difference between pushing rage down and releasing it?” At minute 11:00, Lauren begins to draw correlations between learning a new skill as an adult and the foundational patterns we formed in childhood as we tried to learn new things. She then DIVES into one of her favorite concepts by Peter A. Levin, author of WAKING THE TIGER. She describes the difference between reenacting trauma and renegotiating trauma through play. She draws a correlation between the Civil War reenactors in Appomattox, VA and the way our own bodies try to “close the loop” and “change the ending” of our stories. Chaos in the brain requires us to forge new neural pathways! At minute 13:40 Lauren honors the wisdom of BDSM and Kink Communities, and the way they have been healing trauma for ages. From minute 15:30 Trey begins to brainstorm how his renegotiation could look, including a random tangent about Julia Roberts. At minute 18:00 he stands up for his little self and it brings Lauren to tears. (Surprise!) Lauren shares a recent time when Trey helped her renegotiate misogynistic trauma through play on a simple bike ride at minute 20:00. By allowing themselves to engage their creative imaginations Trey offered her a different path to healing. Lauren cries as she shares how the illusion of control was burst open that day. Lauren shares how much Trey’s experience parallels the experiences of her students as they work to overcome relational and sexual patterns. The SAME voices and frustrations tend to confuse them as they work to write new scripts. We suggest that everyone take an ACEs Quiz to assess their own adverse childhood experiences. (Links below!) Trey asks Lauren what tool she recommends partners try to renegotiate past behaviors. Of course, she responds with the Three Minute Game! Watch the whole episode HERE. At minute 36:00 we get to the BEST PART of this episode where Trey unpacks something Lauren has been waiting for him to discover about his erotic turn-ons! Make SURE to watch her face starting at minute 37:00! 37:41 is maybe the best reaction on this podcast SO FAR! Trey’s face at minute 38:59 is exactly how Lauren always imagined it would be! Lauren shares at minute 40:00 that troublesome turn-ons are only a problem when we say they are. We can use our Cornerstones of Eroticism as spring boards (minute 42:00) to hot sex with our partners of choice! Going to our “red light districts,” Esther Perel, or using “Creative Monogamy,” Dr. Joli Hamilton, allows us to create NEW peek erotic encounters with our own partners! Resources: WAKING THE TIGER: HEALING TRAUMA THE EROTIC MIND MATING IN CAPTIVITY Harvard: ACEs and Toxic Stress: Frequently Asked Questions NPR Article and ACEs Quiz If you would like to learn to Renegotiate Trauma through Play or how to explore erotic turn-ons, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication and sexual flourishing. Reminders: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Lauren is NOT a therapist. She is a Certified Holistic Sexuality Educator.

On Episode 41 Lauren and Trey discuss the different ways they “keep the door open to arousal” through non-sexual foreplay. They each share various actions the other does that allows them to remain open to desire. At minute 6:45 Lauren shares an image of how small actions throughout the day enable her to clear a path through the imaginary jungle to Trey with a machete or a weed-wacker or a machete… you’ll get the idea! Lauren explains that for centuries women have been relegated to objects of desire, and how, implementing non-sexual foreplay allows them to become subjects WHO desire. We are people connected to our sexual organs! Trey asks how partners get in trouble when/if they fail to “machete their way to their partners throughout the day? Lauren responds by sharing that “curiosity is the key to intimacy.” At minute 11:00, Trey jokingly references men who don’t want sex and Lauren reprimands him for stereotyping. In truth, Lauren has found that the loving partners who are denying their partner’s sex are actually fighting “overwhelm” as they work to provide for the person they love most. Friends, for many and “invitation to sex can feel like an obligation for sex!” You are not alone! At minute 15:00 Lauren breaks down the fun Business Titles we can develop inside our partnerships, but by minute 19:15 they’re already onto Lauren’s favorite topic, not having “THAT type of sex!” At minute 23:00 Lauren shares once again how mornings are NOT her tingle time and the mental gymnastics she has to struggle with to remain aroused! Everyone has Core Erotic Themes and within those themes we find sexual scripts, at minute 25:00, Lauren breaks this down even more! Do you see long term partnerships breaking apart around you? Have you ever asked, “why?” Well, at minute 27:15 Lauren and Trey get curious about this same thing after an audience member stated that she believes it’s when partners stop growing individually and together! Trey asks what a person can do when they want to grow but their partner is not interested in doing the same and Lauren gives a blunt but trauma-informed answer. Trey also shares one of his favorite statements, “if you don’t have time and money to grow and date your wife - you’ll be finding time and money for a divorce attorney.” We cannot force individuals to grow. Trauma-informed care says that we learn the things that are ours to learn when we’re supposed to learn them. We must allow our partners to maintain agency! If you would like to develop tools to strengthen the non-sexual foreplay in your partnerships, click here to request a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Lauren would love to equip you and your partners with tools for mindful communication and sexual flourishing. Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.