The Partnership Podcast

Trey stumbled into the room when Lauren was watching the Hulu documentary, “The Secrets of Hillsong” this week and got sucked in! So, they’ve made an episode out of their initial thoughts and reactions so far!  Like all episodes of The Partnership Podcast, this one starts off on a completely different note, with Lauren sharing some of her recent fears and growing pains as the owner of Sex Ed for You. They talk through the logistics of sharing struggles in partnership, and Trey’s tendency to want to “fix” it.  A favorite moment from this episode is at minute 19:10 when they discuss the term, “my wife” and how every time Trey jokingly uses this phrase, Lauren’s skin begins to crawl!  Don’t miss minute 20:40 where Lauren talks about a recent ‘real life’ experience of this whole system in action. Ready for some nerdy sex education? Skip ahead to minute 28:12 where Lauren reintroduces the concepts of Reaction Formation and the Pedestal Paradigm! She breaks down how and why they matter for those in positions of authority inside of churches! If you are also healing wounds and unpacking from Purity Culture or Religious Trauma, Lauren would love to work with you! Click here to schedule a FREE 15-Minute Consult today! www.sexedforyou.com/freeconsult Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 27 is one of the most accidentally personal episodes Trey and Lauren have recorded so far! They begin their chat having no idea what they're gonna talk about and end up discovering how interconnected the birth of SEX ED FOR YOU is with their love story.  At minute 2:20, Lauren begins her highlight sharing a very exciting announcement and by minute 2:58 she's jumping right into storytelling! Trey recalls his personal and raw journey to realizing how deeply he still wanted to be with Lauren after leaving Virginia and returning to California during the 2020 pandemic. Lauren shares the huge mistakes she made while he was gone and how SEX ED FOR YOU would not exist had he not sent one specific text message.  Trey's highlight at minute 18:51 is going to shock you. ;) Just kidding. BUT after he talks about his golf wins, he ignites a fascinating conversation about sexual energy and how we are often turned on by our partner's personal perusal of their dreams and goals.  Trey talks about receiving a sexy photo from Lauren at minute 19:50 and his choices in that moment to "meet her energy" or not. At minute 32:30 Lauren goes on to share how watching Trey complete household chores while she worked at the computer turned her on and visibly decreased her mental load - leading to incredible sex!  They talk about their phrase "can you save it for me," and at minute 30:12, Lauren’s foolproof technique of harnessing your CET (Core Erotic Theme) to "get in the mood" for sexual encounters with long-term partners.  We hope you enjoy this intimate episode and if YOU would like to discover your CET or learn more about pushing through vulnerability and into amazing sex! Click here to schedule a FREE CONSULT today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ Lauren would be honored to walk with you and your partner to discover what good sex means to YOU! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

This episode discusses the difference between cathexis and love as Lauren is coming to understand the terms as she reads ALL ABOUT LOVE: NEW VISIONS by bell hooks. Trey opens by asking Lauren about a recent "work-cation." She shares how she chose to show up for herself as CEO, COO, and CFO and some difficult and scary choices she had to make. At the end of the day, it is her job alone to care for herself so that she can care for Sex Ed for You. The conversation centers around the verb, "CATHECT: to invest with mental or emotional energy" and the noun, "CATHEXIS: investment of mental or emotional energy in a person, object, or idea." Trey and Lauren discuss the conflation of love and cathexis and how possibly Lauren's fundamental and religious understanding of "love" was shaped by cathexis. Trey shares how things are bubbling up for him as he sorts through old patterns and behaviors and the affirmation that is making this process slightly less painful. Despite his best efforts, two recent instances of criticism bubbled up into Lauren's orbit. They share how they navigated through hurt feelings and came out on the other side intact! They both push into the concept of many of their conflicts revolving around desiring to protect the other, but accidently inflicting harm, and sadly, how it can leave one partner feeling controlled. Wanna feel some TENSION!?! Jump to minute 28:33! See Lauren and Trey rework through a conflict in real time that they thought they'd already solved. Lauren briefly mentions Karpman's Drama Triangle and how at any point we can play the victim, the judge, or the rescuer. If you'd like to know more, book a free consult with Lauren today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ Lauren would be honored to walk with you and your partner through conflicts of your own! Books Mentioned: ALL ABOUT LOVE: https://amzn.to/3q2xYtt LEAVING THE FOLD: https://amzn.to/43if8g6 THINK AND GROW RICH: https://amzn.to/3MLeu5k Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own! Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 25 dives right into the bedroom! Lauren's recently been rereading Ian Kerner's book: SHE COMES FIRST and she has some juicy questions for Trey.  But, before they launch into the subject of communicating their way to better and more patient sex, Trey shares one of his favorite phrases, "Are you asking for advice or do you want me just to listen?" They discuss why this term has been so helpful to their partnership and Lauren even goes so far as to say that, "If we cannot feel vulnerable enough to communicate with our partners, there is no way that our sex is going to improve. Because better sex requires better communication." Throughout this episode, they discuss female arousal times and even tell a story about a recent work day where Lauren had to embrace the slow build, fight feelings of inadequacy, and trust that there was plenty of patience for her AND that Trey would communicate if he needed to be done. Since Trey has not read Ian's book (spoiler!) Lauren asks him to share where and how he learned to provide oral and manual pleasure to the vulva and clitoris. Trey asks Lauren how she moves through personal frustration when arousal is taking longer than desired, and she shares how she avoids using negative phrases at all costs! They both realize that their favorite go-to-phrase is, "are you comfy?" This code allows them both to continue chasing pleasure while checking in with the other's body.  They discuss the power of coaching one another up in the sex they want and HOW they want it and close this episode out by sharing the power of celebrating the unique sexual desires of all humans. If you’d like to learn how to understand YOUR process of arousal or how to communicate what you want in the bedroom, schedule a FREE 15-minute consult with Lauren today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ Lauren loves equipping couples with tools to communicate their sexual needs, wants and desires! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

On Episode 24 Lauren and Trey dissect a recent question from the audience that asked, “What if we don’t share the same goals?” Buckle-up, because they’re gonna take you on a wild ride!  At minute 8:57 Lauren shares how MANY of her clients are going through similar struggles right now as one partner deconstructs their evangelical faith, and another seeks to retain their beliefs. What IS the most loving thing to do?  They discuss one of their favorite terms, “interdependence” at minute 10:45 and how far it extends. They ask so many questions including: What happens when our goals involve a community that doesn’t include our partner? What happens when that community casts judgment on our partner? What happens when our personal goals threaten the well-being of our partner?  Does interdependence mean alignment with your partner’s autonomy or their goals? Are you trying to push your partner to a breaking point so that you can vilify their actions? Are you trying to shape your partner's values? At minute 28:17 Lauren shares just how detrimental it can be to try to control another person and then at minute 29:21 she suggests how letting someone go, while heartbreaking, may be the most loving option at times.  Trey closes us out with a zinger, sharing that before we can make any decisions about partnership, "we have to trust ourselves first."  If you’d like to make more values-based decisions inside of your partnership, schedule a FREE 15-minute consult today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ Lauren loves equipping couples with tools to communicate and celebrate their partnership! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

On this Episode Lauren and Trey share about a recent instance where Lauren's body reacted negatively to Trey's mention of porn use earlier in the day. Despite "knowing" the benefits of porn and having a Relationship Agreement (Episode 5) that celebrates sexual privacy, Lauren's body still retains body-based sex-negative beliefs that reside in her due to decades of Purity Culture indoctrination. AND THERE IS SPACE FOR HER PAIN. Trey shares how he felt when Lauren's body responded negatively to his open-hearted sharing and how they worked their way through the moment without further harm. And Lauren shares how she is slowly moving away from self-criticism into curiosity. Intertwined with these thoughts you'll hear discussion of Lauren's recent fascination with embodied porn usage and ways to use porn that make for greater enjoyment of partnered sexual encounters! Is porn causing pain in your relationship? If so, Lauren would love to chat with you about ways to heal and integrate! Schedule a FREE 15-minute consult today! ⁠https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠⁠ She loves equipping couples with tools to communicate and celebrate their partnership! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠⁠ ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/ ⁠to launch your podcast today.

On Episode 22  Lauren and Trey share all the intimate details of a recent sex-cation and the responsibility they each took to make it happen! This weekend hotel stay started as a desire of Lauren's but took a game of catch to make it cum to fruition.  Watch or listen to this episode of the Partnership Podcast to see how the three minute game, raspberries, and sex toys contributed to this amazing sex-filled weekend! If you feel confused at minute 24:30 when Lauren is talking about the 3 MINUTE GAME, you probably missed the whole episode devoted to this awesome game!! Click here to catch up! https://youtu.be/vrlQfpZV9zA At minute 33:08 things take a wild turn as Trey shares his thoughts behind Tiger Woods' tampon choice. Lauren goes toe-to-toe with him as they debate comedy, menstruation, audiences, censorship, and more. Do you disagree? Do you have a different opinion? Good! We encourage you to both disagree and form your own opinions on all of the content we share! This episode is just another day in the lives of these two and it's as hilarious as it is practical. These two close out the discussion back where they started, with taking responsibility for their own feelings! ENJOY! If you are looking for tools to plan your perfect sex-cation reach out to Lauren for a free consult today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ She loves equipping couples with tools to communicate and celebrate their partnership! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

On Episode 21 Trey and Lauren break down two recent conflicts that existed solely in their minds. They discuss finding their way back to one another and the importance of taking responsibility for their personal feelings.  Lauren stumbled into an old porn wound last week and Trey shares how the tone of her question made him feel judged and threatened. They then move into their favorite topic of sexual privacy and how they can continue to support and protect one another as they continue to reprogram their minds and habits.  Lauren ALMOST makes it through a second episode with no tears, but conversations about the beautiful expansion of her business, Sex Ed For You, and the changes it is bringing about in her personal life, lead her to a breaking point. They discuss how, in their own ways, they're both mourning prior patterns and coping mechanisms.  They close with a conversation surrounding how tricky it is to live with and be partnered to someone who is growing. In Trey's words, “partnership is work!”  If you're ready to get to work on your partnership, click here to book a free consult with Lauren. https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ She loves equipping couples with tools to communicate and celebrate their partnership! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 20 is here and it marks Lauren’s FIRST episode without tears! Perhaps it’s because these two spend most of this episode flexing their acting muscles by pretending to ask one another for new and exciting sexual things in the bedroom. Wanna see Trey blush? Make sure to watch the video on Spotify or YouTube! (Fun fact! Did you know Trey was an actor/SAG member for years? While he’s appeared in numerous films and television shows, this episode showcases his finest work! Kidding! Kinda.) Lauren shares that clients often ask her how to bring up new things to their partner that they'd like to try sexually and the next thing you know they're role playing. There's laughter and awkwardness, but no tears! At minute 4:21 Lauren invents a Step-Wise Model for Bringing up Sex Requests to a partner and hilarity ensues! Help these two celebrate their 20th Episode by liking, subscribing, sharing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re ready to request new things from your partner, but need a little help,  click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult with Lauren: ⁠https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ She adores working with partnerships to help restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and pleasure! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 19 almost went unshared. It's messy, unrehearsed, raw, and necessary. In their warm up conversation,Trey began telling Lauren about the ways in which he's pushing into the discomfort of growth in this season - habits he's attempting to curb and new disciplines he's hoping to develop. This reminded Lauren of the work so many of her clients are doing right now and so she began to ask how partners can be helpful when their partner is growing - and that conversation just kept rolling. In this intimate episode Lauren and Trey discuss the inherent vulnerability in growth - for both the person growing and the people in their orbit. They discuss how bearing witness to a partner's growth can threaten our security and make us question our own foundations. You'll hear them brainstorm questions partners can ask of one another when they want to support NOT hinder growth. And how growth can bring out the best and worst of the people around us. Lauren shares a recent failure and how this colleague pushed into a clarifying conversation with bravery and vulnerability - resulting in a deeper and more trusting connection than before. When we say this episode is messy, we mean it. Lauren's camera dies two thirds of the way through (see the hidden easter egg message at minute 31:55!) - but the wrap up was too good not to share.  If you’re ready to talk about messy topics like these with your partner,  click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult with Lauren:⁠https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ She adores working with partnerships to help restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and pleasure! Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip!⁠ Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.