The Partnership Podcast

Episode 20 is here and it marks Lauren’s FIRST episode without tears! Perhaps it’s because these two spend most of this episode flexing their acting muscles by pretending to ask one another for new and exciting sexual things in the bedroom. Wanna see Trey blush? Make sure to watch the video on Spotify or YouTube! (Fun fact! Did you know Trey was an actor/SAG member for years? While he’s appeared in numerous films and television shows, this episode showcases his finest work! Kidding! Kinda.) Lauren shares that clients often ask her how to bring up new things to their partner that they'd like to try sexually and the next thing you know they're role playing. There's laughter and awkwardness, but no tears! At minute 4:21 Lauren invents a Step-Wise Model for Bringing up Sex Requests to a partner and hilarity ensues! Help these two celebrate their 20th Episode by liking, subscribing, sharing, rating, and leaving a review wherever you get your podcasts! If you’re ready to request new things from your partner, but need a little help,  click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult with Lauren: ⁠https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ She adores working with partnerships to help restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and pleasure! Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

Episode 19 almost went unshared. It's messy, unrehearsed, raw, and necessary. In their warm up conversation,Trey began telling Lauren about the ways in which he's pushing into the discomfort of growth in this season - habits he's attempting to curb and new disciplines he's hoping to develop. This reminded Lauren of the work so many of her clients are doing right now and so she began to ask how partners can be helpful when their partner is growing - and that conversation just kept rolling. In this intimate episode Lauren and Trey discuss the inherent vulnerability in growth - for both the person growing and the people in their orbit. They discuss how bearing witness to a partner's growth can threaten our security and make us question our own foundations. You'll hear them brainstorm questions partners can ask of one another when they want to support NOT hinder growth. And how growth can bring out the best and worst of the people around us. Lauren shares a recent failure and how this colleague pushed into a clarifying conversation with bravery and vulnerability - resulting in a deeper and more trusting connection than before. When we say this episode is messy, we mean it. Lauren's camera dies two thirds of the way through (see the hidden easter egg message at minute 31:55!) - but the wrap up was too good not to share.  If you’re ready to talk about messy topics like these with your partner,  click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult with Lauren:⁠https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ She adores working with partnerships to help restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and pleasure! Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip!⁠ Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠ Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Spotify for Podcasters enough. Visit⁠ https://podcasters.spotify.com/ to launch your podcast today.

This episode begins with a silly little confession from Trey and leads into a deeper dive of the many health benefits of masturbation when used as a purposeful tool. Lauren believes that it's time to let go of the misinformation that continues to leave people feeling guilt and shame about a normal expression of the sexual self. The REAL content of this episode revolves around the taboo of menstruation and period sex! As a menstruating person, Lauren has experienced GREAT period sex and hilarious period sex and she gets down and dirty with Trey as they talk about it all! What was intended to be a silly and lighthearted discussion on how to incorporate an intimacy blanket like The Layer (https://getthelayer.com/products/the-layer - use sexedforyou at checkout for 10% off!) into your love-making became a much deeper discussion on the taboos that continue to surround menstruating people. Lauren and Trey brainstorm workplace emergencies and deconstruct chauvinistic slurs aimed at people who menstruate, and how as humans we can all do better. You'll watch as Lauren breaks down as she and Trey discuss this topic for VERY FIRST TIME! Trey explains his perspective on those who fail to use empathy for those in their lives who menstruate. We hope you'll send this podcast to all who need it. Trey and Lauren both believe that until we can openly and honestly discuss menstruation and the role it plays in our relationships, we cannot fully embrace partnership. This podcast is for those who have sex with people who bleed, have children who bleed, and work with those who bleed. Happy Women's History Month to all who menstruate and many, many thanks to THE LAYER (getthelayer.com) for sending us their incredible product that has greatly improved our period playtime! Use SEXEDFORYOU at checkout to receive 10% off of any of their incredible intimacy products!  If you’re ready to talk about messy topics like these with your partner,  click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult with Lauren:https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult She adores working with partnerships to help restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and pleasure! Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip! https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock   Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Anchor enough. Visit www.anchor.fm to launch your podcast today.

Episode 17 unfolds differently than all the rest! When they embarked on this conversation Lauren thought they'd be discussing the power of self-actualization and the accessibility of self-help resources these days. But, as you'll see, the dialogue takes a much different turn. Lauren shares how, through the power of question asking, Trey encourages intimacy and makes her feel: un-known, exciting, and erotically expansive.  Trey shares how he first picked up the classic book, HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE (https://amzn.to/3SzH6jp), written in 1936 by Dale Carnegie, and how it became a game changer for his interpersonal encounters. Lauren then draws a connection to the KINK world and how, contrary to appearances, the power lies with the submissive. Similarly, the power in conversation lies with the questioner who is RECEIVING the words of the responder.  At minute 31 Lauren mentions, once again, one of their favorite books by Susan David, PhD:  Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. You can purchase it here: https://amzn.to/3IrIAri  PSST: Find yourself wanting to listen to all the books Lauren and Trey recommend? Get a FREE TRIAL of Audible by clicking here: https://amzn.to/3m7VgMI If you'd like to see if curiosity the key to YOUR intimacy,  click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult with Lauren: https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult She adores working with partnerships to help restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and pleasure!   Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip! https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast   Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.   Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock   Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Anchor enough. Visit www.anchor.fm to launch your podcast today.

Hold on folks, on Episode 16 Lauren is talking about her FAVORITE GAME for partnerships of all kinds! The Three Minute Game by the brilliant Dr. Betty Martin has revolutionized Lauren's work and you'll be able to feel her nerdy excitement as she and Trey share about their recent attempt at playing this game for research purposes. ;) Trey shares how uncomfortable and vulnerable the game can be and his experience playing for the first time. He pushes into some difficult corners of the exercise and asks Lauren some hard "what if" questions that cause her to pause. Noticing, trusting, and valuing our needs, wants, and desires can be the most difficult task of all. The Three Minute Game creates a boundaried container to practice serving, accepting, taking, and allowing! If you'd like to know more about the HOW and WHY to initiate this exercise with your partner,  click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult with Lauren: https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult She adores working with partnerships to help restore positive and respectful approaches to sexuality and pleasure! Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip! https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Anchor enough. Visit www.anchor.fm to launch your podcast today.

If sexual fantasies and the erotic make you uncomfortable this might not be the episode for you! On Episode 15, Lauren and Trey discuss one of their FAVORITE topics, the Erotic Imagination. They unpack how they protect one another's sexual privacy and what that looks like in their monogamous relationship. They unpack one of  @drjoli_hamilton 's terms, "Creative Monogamy" and the different ways they both practice sexual fantasy sharing. Lauren recently rewatched  @estherperel 's Ted Talk on Long-Term relationships and she tosses questions at Trey about what flames desire in him! This episode feels safe, playful, and sweet. Which after the past two episodes, should lead the audience wondering if Esther is correct that “The erotic is the antidote to death.” Do you want to work through the worksheet Lauren references in this episode? Do you feel safe to share your erotic fantasies with your partner? Click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult to see how Lauren can help you get curious about your long-term partnership and the hundreds of ways you can craft a relationship that feels safe and sexy: https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip! https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Anchor enough. Visit www.anchor.fm to launch your podcast today.

The Holistic Psychologist recently shared that "Safe relationships don't always feel good. You will be in tears with each other having tough conversations and facing the wounded parts of yourself. Safe relationships just won't weaponize or shame those parts of you." While they wish Episode 14 was a tidy wrap-up to the dishes conflict in Episode 13 (catch it here: https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast/episodes/In-conflict--Silencing-vs--Submission-e1thb1i) the fact of the matter is that not all conflicts are solved in one attempt. Remember, this is a "how-they" podcast, NOT a "how-to" podcast. As they discuss this week, Trey and Lauren both have wounds left over from parents, previous partners, etc. that are triggered and activated by seemingly trite things such as dishes - or as they now call it in their home, "DISHGATE." Thanks to you, audience, Trey and Lauren now know they are not alone!  Episode 13 resulted in more messages, listens, and ANGER than any other. Many of you messaged to say you were so mad, you couldn't even finish listening! One of you even sent in a study that affirms Lauren's sensitivity to commonly gendered chores such as dishes! And it's amazing! (Read it here: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2378023118765867) The Council of Contemporary Families (CCF), examined a variety of different household tasks—including shopping, laundry, and housecleaning, and found that, for women in heterosexual relationships, it’s more important to share the responsibility of doing the dishes than any other chore! The study goes on to share that "egalitarian arrangements are more conducive to higher quality relationships because they foster cooperation and communication among partners, two essential and apparently increasingly important predicates to a good sex life and good relationship." While they didn't know about this study when they recorded - you'll get to watch the research play out in real time on this episode. You'll be able to feel how ready Trey is to put Dishgate behind them, while Lauren continues to prolong the conversation seeking clarity over ownership and the division of labor! Lauren can sense exactly what this CCF article is referencing when it says that, "when it comes to more global relationship satisfaction, individuals are perfectly happy to bend convention as long as the division of labor appears to benefit themselves. The consequence, however, is that although one partner may be reasonably satisfied with the relationship, the other is not, a direct contrast to the supposed benefits of separate spheres." Can you sense it too? Do you and your partner ALSO have conflicts? Do you feel safe to share your opinions and not have them weaponized against you? Click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult to see how Lauren can help you get curious about the hows and whys behind your arguments: https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip! https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Anchor enough. Visit www.anchor.fm to launch your podcast today.

Well, it's about damn time. Pop the popcorn, sit back, relax, and enjoy your front row seat to another CONFLICT. Episode 13 finds Trey and Lauren on day two of a conflict over DISHES and you don't wanna miss it. One party feels that their needs are being silenced and the other feels pressured to submit - buckle-up, friends, this is a wild ride. The whole thing started because Lauren thought it would be a cute idea to pull a few cards from the Best Self INTIMACY Deck on their lazy Sunday morning in bed. (Get your own deck here: https://shrsl.com/3v7wp) What they stumbled into will not surprise our faithful audience, but hopefully, you'll be encouraged by the way this seemingly small issue escalated to anger, confusion, tally marks, and feelings of utter failure. We see both Trey and Lauren express resentment over adult responsibilities demanded of them in childhood and how no matter how hard they try, these familial wounds keep popping up. Lauren's utter hatred of submission seems to paralyze her towards the end, leading Trey to choose to concede, just to make the argument stop. Audience, it's not pretty. What would you have done differently? How can our conflict help you and your partners? Who is the more anal one in your relationship? (Yes, that's mean, but Lauren types this body text and Trey will never see this. :-) WARNING: You will FEEL the tension in this episode. It's not pretty and nothing gets tied up in a pretty bow, AND we hope you see that you are NOT alone. Do you and your partner ALSO have conflicts? Do you wish they ended in laughter and jokes like this one? Click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult to see how Lauren can help you get curious about the hows and whys behind your arguments: https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip! https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Anchor enough. Visit www.anchor.fm to launch your podcast today.

Lauren quickly crumbles on Episode 12 as she attempts to share her dreams for 2023. She and Trey spend time talking about the examples of feminine success they saw modeled as they were growing up and how Lauren feels a wall every time she attempts to dream large. Having grown up believing that she was to only be a "jewel in her husband's crown" and that it is her job to always remain attractive and submissive to a husband, Lauren struggles to find the words to share the resistance she is experiencing. Trey shares how much he loves Lauren now and how much he loved the woman he first met. Lauren tearfully shares how Trey builds a wall of safety around her, allowing her to accomplish her dreams. Are you also struggling with your dreams for 2023? Click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult to see how Lauren can help you give name to your fears: https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip! https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Anchor enough. Visit www.anchor.fm to launch your podcast today.

Are you decompressing from the holidays? Us too! On Episode 11, we break down the holiday traditions we are building and the holiday obligations we are no longer choosing to participate in. Trey shares how we stumbled into Christmas Tree trauma early on in our relationship and Lauren explains how she attempts to protect his nervous system without sacrificing what is important to her. We hope this episode provides you with the opportunity to chat with your partners about the traditions that do and do not serve you! You'll see us do it in real time!! If you'd rather not do it alone, click here to book a couples session with you and your partner: https://sexedforyou.as.me/Coupleshour How do the principles of consensual communication apply to what we allow ourselves and our families to do over the holidays? You'll have to listen to find out! Lauren and Trey talk about levels of trust and how an act of service ALWAYS begins with the one who is accepting the gift of service. The request for help can sound like, "will you do ________ for me?" And the one who is being asked can then say, "Yes, I will." or "No, I will not." This modality from Betty Martin's Wheel of Consent modality has been a game changer for their partnership! You can follow Dr. Betty Martin on YouTube to learn more about the art of giving and receiving!  Lauren uses The Wheel of Consent with so many of her clients. Click here to book a Free 15-Minute Consult and figure out how you could benefit from this type of work today: https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult Like what you hear? Like, subscribe, share, or tip! https://anchor.fm/partnership.podcast Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you. Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself! https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock Want to make your own podcast? We cannot recommend Anchor enough. Visit www.anchor.fm to launch your podcast today.