Who comes first? Communicating our way to better sex.

Episode 25 dives right into the bedroom! Lauren's recently been rereading Ian Kerner's book: SHE COMES FIRST and she has some juicy questions for Trey. 

But, before they launch into the subject of communicating their way to better and more patient sex, Trey shares one of his favorite phrases, "Are you asking for advice or do you want me just to listen?" They discuss why this term has been so helpful to their partnership and Lauren even goes so far as to say that, "If we cannot feel vulnerable enough to communicate with our partners, there is no way that our sex is going to improve. Because better sex requires better communication."

Throughout this episode, they discuss female arousal times and even tell a story about a recent work day where Lauren had to embrace the slow build, fight feelings of inadequacy, and trust that there was plenty of patience for her AND that Trey would communicate if he needed to be done.

Since Trey has not read Ian's book (spoiler!) Lauren asks him to share where and how he learned to provide oral and manual pleasure to the vulva and clitoris.

Trey asks Lauren how she moves through personal frustration when arousal is taking longer than desired, and she shares how she avoids using negative phrases at all costs! They both realize that their favorite go-to-phrase is, "are you comfy?" This code allows them both to continue chasing pleasure while checking in with the other's body. 

They discuss the power of coaching one another up in the sex they want and HOW they want it and close this episode out by sharing the power of celebrating the unique sexual desires of all humans.

If you’d like to learn how to understand YOUR process of arousal or how to communicate what you want in the bedroom, schedule a FREE 15-minute consult with Lauren today! https://sexedforyou.as.me/freeconsult⁠ Lauren loves equipping couples with tools to communicate their sexual needs, wants and desires!

Reminder: This is not a "how to" podcast, but rather a "how they" podcast. Please listen to our opinions and then come to your own!  Learn from our mistakes or give our techniques a try! It’s all up to you.

Looking to expand your own sexuality education in the new year? Check out Lauren's monthly membership program, HEMLOCK. At only $10 a month you'll have access to the tools you need to begin to reclaim your sexuality for yourself!⁠ https://sexedforyou.com/hemlock  ⁠

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