Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?In an era where house prices have gone up, wages have stagnated, and young people are staying in the family home for longer, how do we manage the transition to adulthood whilst our young are still living at home? One of the big debates for parents is whether teens and young adults should pay rent. So when one of our listeners asked us to talk about it, we thought it would be a great topic for our club.It’s definitely one to think about well beforehand, because your attitude to it will become an important subliminal message to your teen.For some, seeing your child move out, or start to pay rent is a critical stage in growing up. For others, the idea of charging your teenager - or any member of your family - rent is an absolute no-go. In fact the age at which our kids leave home varies wildly in different cultures; even within the same continent. Across Europe the average age of leaving home is 26, but in Sweden and Denmark it's closer to 21  and in Croatia and Malta it's nearly 32. We discuss the concept of being a teenager, how different cultures think about the topic, and the pros and cons of charging rent. RESOURCES:https://www.100yearlife.com/ Living and working in the age of longevity.https://www.lboro.ac.uk/media/media/research/crsp/downloads/2019-family-sharing--a-mminimum-income-standard-for-people-in-their-20s.pdfhttps://www.verywellfamily.com/should-you-charge-your-teen-rent-4106963https://cafemom.com/parenting/we-make-our-teenager-pay-renthttps://www.professorshouse.com/charging-a-teenager-rent/https://www.newsweek.com/teen-asking-stepdad-pay-rent-house-reddit-1735656https://empeople.com/learn/empeople-insights/6-real-money-lessons-for-teenshttps://sc.lawforkids.org/speakup/view_question.cfm?id=134&page=3https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/charge-children-rent-debate-tiktok-b2342234.htmlhttps://www.afr.com/life-and-luxury/health-and-wellness/why-you-should-make-your-adult-kids-pay-rent-to-live-in-your-house-20221219-p5c7haSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Nobody would argue against the benefits of exercise, but there are lots of school kids who dread physical education lessons, and dodge exercise whenever it's raised. When Nicola contacted us asking for advice on how to get her 12 year old daughter to do more exercise we thought it was a perfect topic for us to discuss. It turns out that lack of exercise in teens is a worldwide problem, most pronounced in South Korea, and that teen girls significantly trail boys in doing the recommended amounts of exercise in almost every country around the world. ‘Globally, during adolescence, ‘girls’ worlds shrink, while boys’ expand’. One study finds that the map of 14-yo girls’ day-to-day movements is 2/5 the size of that of their 11-yo selves, and only 1/3 the size of 14-yo male peers’ movements. In Texas, teenage girls do 65% less physical activity than boys. Girls drop out of sport clubs in adolescence at far higher rates than boys. This sets a trend for life.’ Dr Rachel Hewitt author of In Her NatureWe talk about what it feels like to come from a family that doesn't exercise, some of the big barriers to it such as lack of facilities, space, shame, and public perception of who should be exercising. Hopefully this will help us, as parents, to focus on ways in which we can support our teens to get more active. It will definitely benefit them and, if we lead by example, the benefit will be for the entire family.  BOOKS:Bounce: Matthew Syed TIPS:https://www.parkrun.org.uk/App my daughter loves: Couch to 5k runner (yellow) by Fitness22www.boostfit.comParenting teenagers and media literacy. (0:02)News consumption, physical activity levels in teens. (3:33)Children's fitness and the importance of basic strength. (11:18)UK school policies and gender equality in sports. (16:04)Motivating kids to exercise and the impact of parental influence. (20:36)Promoting physical activity and exercise for families. (24:31)Promoting physical activity for teenagers. (28:49)RESOURCES:https://www.who.int/news/item/22-11-2019-new-who-led-study-says-majority-of-adolescents-worldwide-are-not-sufficiently-physically-active-putting-their-current-and-future-health-at-risk#:~:text=The%20study%2C%20published%20in%20The,85%25%20of%20girls%20and%2078%25https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/teens-and-exercise#:~:text=They%20are%20more%20likely%20to,t%20need%20to%20be%20boring.Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?The words non-binary, queer, trans, are regularly used in social media and the news nowadays. Many teens are far more educated on their significance than us parents; in fact many of us would be completely unprepared over how to support a child that announces they're trans. In some countries, and communities, anything that veers from heterosexual is still punished. In many first world countries there has been a large shift towards acceptance and understanding of people who don't fit into societal norms. School environments are being adapted to provide accommodations. For some, this seems like an obvious progression, and rooted in kindness and care. For others this can feel very challenging, even offensive if it impinges on other rights. Even if our own children aren't affected, they are living in a world were things have changed dramatically from when we were teenagers, so I decided we'd all benefit from listening to someone with extensive experience, and refreshing perspectives on gender. Stella O'Malley's a psychotherapist, writer, public speaker and parent, with many years’ experience working as a mental health professional. She's also the founder of Genspect, an international alliance of professionals, trans people, de-transitioners, parent groups and others who seek high-quality care for gender-related distress.https://www.stellaomalley.com/Her podcast is called Gender: A Wider Lens, and her co-authored book is called When Kids Say They're Trans. LINK TO THE PARENT TOOLKIT:https://genspect.org/resources/parent-toolkit/You can find out more about her at our website www.teenagersuntangled.comThanks for listening. Please hit the follow button if you like our podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comSusie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.ukSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?In most episodes Rachel uses her journalistic background to trawl through studies and find out what a range of experts think about a topic. Susie brings her wealth of knowledge and experience of mindfulness and parenting to the microphone. Together, the two of us talk about the reality of parenting.We're going to continue with that, but thought it might be nice to broaden the format to talk about current affairs topics, and how they affect us and our listeners. In this episode we chat about the latest in teen slang; which can be hilarious. We also discuss the banning of mobile phones in schools, why it's happening, why it hasn't happened before, and what the benefits and issues are that surround it. Also, we talk about exams. With the shift towards AI, is our education system really offering our teens what they need to equip themselves for being an adult? Are the subjects we study, and the way in which they are studied, still fit for purpose? Given that we can't get rid of AI, should we be incorporating it into the school curriculum?We don't promise answers, but we're very keen to think about it, because these issues directly affect our teens.We really enjoyed making this episode. What do you think? Shall we do it more regularly, or do prefer the research episodes? Would you like to hear more interviews? We're here for you (and to learn for our own sakes.)CHAPTERS:2:01 Teen lingo 7:10 Reviews9:07 The things that trigger us are an opportunity to know ourselves better.12:32 Getting stuck in an emotional spiral.15:57 Mobile phone ban in schoolsSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Deciding to split can be an incredibly challenging time for any married couple, but knowing the impact it can have on our kids can make it even harder to navigate the complex untangling of a life together. We were asked by one listener to talk about it, because she has a family member who's planning to divorce once their teen has finished their main exams, but keeping it quiet in the meantime. It's a tricky question; do we stay together for the kids, when do we tell them, and how? In this episode we talk about a news article that claims teenagers are the ultimate marriage wrecker, the impact on teens who live with parents in an unhappy marriage, and whether they are better or worse off than those in a single parent family. We talk about the best way to tell your teen you are splitting, an innovative way of dealing with it called nesting, which allows the kids to stay at home whilst the parents move in and out, and the new apps that can ease the burden of communication.Whatever path you choose, one of the best bits of advice I always give divorcing couples, is to try and choose a legal service that's trained in reconciliation to reduce the fighting, and cost, of going through such a difficult process.THINGS THAT MIGHT HELP:A few apps; but there are many out there:https://supportpay.com/https://www.cozi.com/https://www.custodyxchange.com/https://www.onwardapp.com/www.separatespace.co.uk Legal and mental health professionals who specialize in divorce.www.restoredlives.org online courses for people going through break-upshttps://raisingchildren.net.au/grown-ups/family-diversity/parenting-after-separation-divorce/helping-teens-adjust-separation#:~:text=If%20you%20and%20your%20partner%20separate%2C%20the%20ups%20and%20downs,not%20coping%20with%20the%20transition.https://www.custodyxchange.com/topics/divorce/worst-divorce-age.php#:~:text=The%20school%2Daged%20years%20are,feel%20like%20a%20personal%20attack.https://evolvetreatment.com/blog/divorce-impact-adolescents/#:~:text=Effects%20of%20Divorce%20on%20Children&text=During%20and%20afSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Stacy messaged to tell us that her son had come home with a hickey for a second time, and she wasn't sure whether her reaction was the right one. My goodness, parenting can be hard.Remember when you had your very first date? The butterflies, the nervous laughter, and the constant fear of saying the wrong thing? Now imagine your teen going through the same rollercoaster of emotions. In our latest podcast, we take a look at the words being used for dating, what teens are getting out of it; which is a lot of personal growth, excitement, and status.Don't miss the top tips on how to be the best parent possible to a teen who's started dating.  RESOURCES:https://srcd.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/cdev.12930https://www.taylorfrancis.com/books/mono/10.4324/9781315102023/gender-linda-lindseyhttps://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1532-7795.2011.00737.xhttps://www.onlinedivorce.com/blog/percentage-of-high-school-relationships-that-last/https://www.newportacademy.com/resources/empowering-teens/teenage-love/https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7557791/https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/living-single/201710/teen-dating-and-sex-hit-record-lows-recent-decadeshttps://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/is-teen-love-real-can-it-last/https://www.researchgate.net/publication/230230368_The_Salience_of_Adolescent_Romantic_Experiences_for_Romantic_Relationship_Qualities_in_Young_Adulthoodhttps://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/teenagers-lovehttps://study.com/academy/lesson/teen-relationships-psychology.htmlhttps://quizlet.com/66713147/adolescence-emerging-adulthood-ch-9-love-and-sexuality-flash-cards/#https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/#:~:text=According%20to%20a%20team%20of,lust%2C%20attraction%2C%20and%20attachment.https://www.bodyandsoul.com.au/relationships/what-is-three-love-theory-and-how-could-it-change-your-relationships/news-storSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Everybody knows intelligence is important, but until the 90's we relied on the testing of IQ to measure it. The problem was that IQ didn't really predict success. When the term emotional intelligence began being used it became clear that it may well provide the missing link for understanding what makes some people more successful than others.A teenager with a higher EQ will be better at communicating with others, and that helps them to resolve conflicts, understand where other people are coming from and support them. All of this helps them to manage their own emotions and overcome life's challenges.The REALLY good news is that, unlike IQ, it isn't fixed; we can grow our EQ, and we can help our teens to develop theirs too.  So, when Betty asked us to take a look at how she can do that for her twins we decided it was a great topic to discuss.EMPATHY VS SYMPATHY:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369JwREFERENCES:http://drbarbaraklein.squarespace.com/twins-develop-differently-than/https://www.talentsmarteq.com/articles/11-signs-that-you-lack-emotional-intelligence/https://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/2017/nov/03/emotional-intelligence-why-it-matters-and-how-to-teach-itSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?I'd never heard of a Gap Year until I took one, but it was life-changing; in a good way. Whether your teen is starting out at senior school, or about to hit a transition year, it's worth talking with them about whether taking a gap in their education or work life is a good thing, because the earlier and more they think about what they might like to achieve the more they might get out of it.  In this episode we discuss:When is the best time to take a gap year? The benefits and the drawbacks. How to structure and plan a gap year.Transitioning back to home and school after you've been away. RESOURCES:Www.gapyearassociation.comhttps://www.abroadinjapan.comhttps://www.prospects.ac.uk/jobs-and-work-experience/work-experience-and-internships/internships#how-do-i-find-internships-in-the-ukhttps://www.ucas.com/undergraduate/student-life/gap-year/gap-years-ideas-and-things-think-abouthttps://www.prospects.ac.uk/jobs-and-work-experience/gap-year/7-steps-to-the-ultimate-gap-yearhttps://www.forbes.com/advisor/education/what-to-do-in-gap-year/https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/10236-productive-gap-year.htmlhttps://www.ef.com/wwen/blog/language/ultimate-gap-year-guide/https://www.nonstopsnow.com/journal/employers-universities-think-about-gap-yearshttps://www.christs.cam.ac.uk/how-apply-1/gap-yearhttps://gapforce.org/gb/why-take-gap-yearhttps://medium.com/illumination/thinking-of-taking-a-gap-year-think-again-85714e18e8bhttps://www.rasmussen.edu/student-experience/college-life/taking-a-gap-year/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Parenting tweens and teens is challenging enough, but when someone in the family becomes seriously ill or dies, it can feel overwhelmingly difficult. In all honesty, we Westerners are terrible at talking about death, often avoiding it, so when it comes to talking with teenagers about the subject most of us don't feel equipped. Many who have suffered a loss, or are suffering a serious illness will tell you that friends often fall away just at the time when they are most valued, because they're embarrassed or uncomfortable about the situation. In this episode we draw on research, personal experience - and some incredible listener feedback - to discuss how to deal with a serious illness or death when you're raising a teen. We pass on some amazing tips that have made all the difference, and also some awful 'what not to do's'. The episode is dedicated to the wonderful mum, Sophie Baker and her loving husband and boys, who are doing an amazing job in very difficult circumstances. BOOKS:When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs You Can Stop Humming Now by Daniela Lamas Being Mortal by Atul Gawande Smoke gets in your Eyes by Caitlin DoughtyThe Choice by Edith Eger PODCAST:https://audioboom.com/posts/6858679-talking-to-young-people-about-death-and-dyinghttps://hospiceofnorthidaho.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Supporting-a-Teen-When-Someone-is-Seriously-Ill.pdfhttps://www.hospiscare.co.uk/how-we-help/advice-support/children-and-young-people/how-to-talk-about-death-with-children-and-teenagers/https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/how-to-talk-about-deathhttps://whatsyourgrief.com/helping-a-teenager-deal-with-grief-2/https://elunanetwork.org/resources/talking-to-teens-and-children-about-illness-and-deathhttps://www.strong4life.com/en/emotional-wellness/emotional-expression/talking-to-kids-and-teens-about-deathhttps://www.todaysparent.com/family/talking-about-death-with-kids/https://www.winstonswish.oSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?For most of our episodes I research a topic and discuss it with Susie. We covered anxiety some time ago in that format, and it's continued to be one of our most popular downloads. So, when I was given the opportunity to interview a specialist in the area, I jumped at the chance.  In this interview, Renee Mill talks about the model she uses to treat patients, called the Ebb Flow model. #We also covered:How important it is to avoid labelling ourselves and how just talking about anxiety, and understanding why you have it, won't necessarily fix it.How important it is to treat symptoms of anxiety as soon as possible, to unwire the track of thinking before it becomes entrenched. How our belief about an event will be one of the key reasons why we react the way we do.How to prepare our kids for their transition to a new school, and why it's so important to calm our own nerves about it and tune into the individual child and what they might need.How 'collaborative parenting', being a calm container, can really help our teens.How important it is to be clear about our values and beliefs with our teens.How important it is to be authentic with our kids.How choose to do things that aren't really important to us, but are things others are doing, set us up for failure.How articulating feelings can be very challenging for teens, and having a 'feelings' vocabulary can really support them.I loved Renee's point about having a list of emotions, and found this worksheet that we parents can use to try and identify our feelings, and those of our teens. https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/list-of-emotionsYou can find our previous discussion about anxiety here:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-14-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-and-how-to-set-rules-that-your-teens-will-follow/Here’s a link to a very helpful, NHS, website.https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/self-help-cbt-techniques/reframing-unhelpful-thoughts/If you would like to read more about Renee Mill, and the services she offers, here's the link: https://anxietysolutionscbt.com/about/renee-mill/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk