Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?I'd never heard of a Gap Year until I took one, but it was life-changing; in a good way. Whether your teen is starting out at senior school, or about to hit a transition year, it's worth talking with them about whether taking a gap in their education or work life is a good thing, because the earlier and more they think about what they might like to achieve the more they might get out of it.  In this episode we discuss:When is the best time to take a gap year? The benefits and the drawbacks. How to structure and plan a gap year.Transitioning back to home and school after you've been away. RESOURCES:Www.gapyearassociation.comhttps://www.abroadinjapan.comhttps://www.prospects.ac.uk/jobs-and-work-experience/work-experience-and-internships/internships#how-do-i-find-internships-in-the-ukhttps://www.ucas.com/undergraduate/student-life/gap-year/gap-years-ideas-and-things-think-abouthttps://www.prospects.ac.uk/jobs-and-work-experience/gap-year/7-steps-to-the-ultimate-gap-yearhttps://www.forbes.com/advisor/education/what-to-do-in-gap-year/https://www.businessnewsdaily.com/10236-productive-gap-year.htmlhttps://www.ef.com/wwen/blog/language/ultimate-gap-year-guide/https://www.nonstopsnow.com/journal/employers-universities-think-about-gap-yearshttps://www.christs.cam.ac.uk/how-apply-1/gap-yearhttps://gapforce.org/gb/why-take-gap-yearhttps://medium.com/illumination/thinking-of-taking-a-gap-year-think-again-85714e18e8bhttps://www.rasmussen.edu/student-experience/college-life/taking-a-gap-year/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Parenting tweens and teens is challenging enough, but when someone in the family becomes seriously ill or dies, it can feel overwhelmingly difficult. In all honesty, we Westerners are terrible at talking about death, often avoiding it, so when it comes to talking with teenagers about the subject most of us don't feel equipped. Many who have suffered a loss, or are suffering a serious illness will tell you that friends often fall away just at the time when they are most valued, because they're embarrassed or uncomfortable about the situation. In this episode we draw on research, personal experience - and some incredible listener feedback - to discuss how to deal with a serious illness or death when you're raising a teen. We pass on some amazing tips that have made all the difference, and also some awful 'what not to do's'. The episode is dedicated to the wonderful mum, Sophie Baker and her loving husband and boys, who are doing an amazing job in very difficult circumstances. BOOKS:When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi The Bright Hour by Nina Riggs You Can Stop Humming Now by Daniela Lamas Being Mortal by Atul Gawande Smoke gets in your Eyes by Caitlin DoughtyThe Choice by Edith Eger PODCAST:https://audioboom.com/posts/6858679-talking-to-young-people-about-death-and-dyinghttps://hospiceofnorthidaho.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Supporting-a-Teen-When-Someone-is-Seriously-Ill.pdfhttps://www.hospiscare.co.uk/how-we-help/advice-support/children-and-young-people/how-to-talk-about-death-with-children-and-teenagers/https://yourteenmag.com/health/teenager-mental-health/how-to-talk-about-deathhttps://whatsyourgrief.com/helping-a-teenager-deal-with-grief-2/https://elunanetwork.org/resources/talking-to-teens-and-children-about-illness-and-deathhttps://www.strong4life.com/en/emotional-wellness/emotional-expression/talking-to-kids-and-teens-about-deathhttps://www.todaysparent.com/family/talking-about-death-with-kids/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?For most of our episodes I research a topic and discuss it with Susie. We covered anxiety some time ago in that format, and it's continued to be one of our most popular downloads. So, when I was given the opportunity to interview a specialist in the area, I jumped at the chance.  In this interview, Renee Mill talks about the model she uses to treat patients, called the Ebb Flow model. #We also covered:How important it is to avoid labelling ourselves and how just talking about anxiety, and understanding why you have it, won't necessarily fix it.How important it is to treat symptoms of anxiety as soon as possible, to unwire the track of thinking before it becomes entrenched. How our belief about an event will be one of the key reasons why we react the way we do.How to prepare our kids for their transition to a new school, and why it's so important to calm our own nerves about it and tune into the individual child and what they might need.How 'collaborative parenting', being a calm container, can really help our teens.How important it is to be clear about our values and beliefs with our teens.How important it is to be authentic with our kids.How choose to do things that aren't really important to us, but are things others are doing, set us up for failure.How articulating feelings can be very challenging for teens, and having a 'feelings' vocabulary can really support them.I loved Renee's point about having a list of emotions, and found this worksheet that we parents can use to try and identify our feelings, and those of our teens. https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/list-of-emotionsYou can find our previous discussion about anxiety here:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-14-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-and-how-to-set-rules-that-your-teens-will-follow/Here’s a link to a very helpful, NHS, website.https://www.nhs.uk/every-mind-matters/mental-wellbeing-tips/self-help-cbt-techniques/reframing-unhelpful-thoughts/If you would like to read more about Renee Mill, and the services she offers, here's the link: https://anxietysolutionscbt.com/about/renee-mill/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?A holiday is when someone is free to do what they want, such as travel or relax. That's according to the Cambridge Dictionary. The problem with teenagers, is that what they want to do for several weeks over summer - such as sleep or use their electronic devices all day - may not fit with what we think they should be doing. Also, having them around, doing what they want, may not be very relaxing for others who're also on holiday, or trying to work. So how do we survive the school holidays in a way that leaves us, and our relationships, unscathed?Top tip: lower your expectations of yourself and them for at least the first two weeks, and avoid comparisons with other families.1:26 Review: a safe haven2:25 Review of Bigorexia episode2:51 Hope for parents of kids who fight4:31 Coaching resilience6:43 Holidays with teensRESOURCES USED:  https://www.harleytherapy.co.uk/counselling/surviving-the-school-holidays.htmhttps://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/opinion-how-to-cope-with-teenagers-during-school-holidays/VMGATMEQ6BK7LSYEPULSDHF464/https://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/holidays-teenagers-survival-school-summer-24233790https://genmindful.com/blogs/mindful-moments/helping-teens-cope-with-holiday-stresshttps://anteloperecovery.com/how-to-support-your-teen-over-the-holidays/https://www.youngminds.org.uk/professional/resources/self-care-support-over-the-summer-holidays/https://parentandteen.com/connect-holidays/https://www.liahonaacademy.com/how-to-deal-with-negative-teen-behavior-during-the-holidays.htmlhttps://anitacleare.co.uk/tempting-teens-off-tech-school-holidays/https://smudgedpostcard.com/holiday-inspiration-holidays-teenagers/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?The transition from junior to senior school can be thrilling; the chance to meet a much bigger group of kids, and gain more of the independence that's part of growing up. But change is always stressful, and when you combine a big shake up of friend groups with puberty, having to navigate your way around a larger school campus, and the immense pressure of having to study for endless exams, it's not surprising that the first year can feel very tricky. As one parent said, 'If your kid can get through that first year of senior school without wanting to stay home, or leave the school, then you're winning.' So what can we parents do to really help with the transition?OTHER EPISODES:TALKING WITH YOUR TEEN: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-3-techniques-for-talking-with-your-teenager-and-teenagers-having-sex-in-your-home/SCREEN TIME MANAGEMENT: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-9-how-to-help-your-teens-manage-their-screen-time-and-talking-to-them-about-healthy-eating-without-giving-them-an-eating-disorder/FRIENDSHIP GROUPS: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-10-helping-your-teen-navigate-friendship-groups-particularly-girls-and-how-to-get-your-teen-to-keep-going-instead-of-giving-up-at-the-first-hurdle/ANXIETY: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-14-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-and-how-to-set-rules-that-your-teens-will-follow/STAYING CALM: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-teenagers-37-our-overreactions-make-us-feel-awful-and-dont-even-achieve-anything-positive-so-what-can-we-do-to-stop-them-from-happening/VAPING TEENS: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-teenagers-35-vaping-teens-the-new-epidemic-and-what-we-can-do-about-it/TALKING ABOUT ALCOHOL: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-2-should-we-be-letting-our-teenagers-drink-alcohol-and-what-should-we-be-telling-them-about-it-also-how-to-stay-connected/RESOURCES USED: https://www.parentkind.org.uk/assets/resources/Be-School-Ready-Secondary-English-July-2023.pdfhttps://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/secondary/learning-school/starting-secondary-schoolhttps://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/school-education/school-choosing-starting-moving/starting-secondary-schoolhttps://www.youngminds.org.uk/parent/blog/helping-your-child-manage-the-move-from-primary-to-secondary-school/https://www.madeformums.com/school-and-family/preparing-your-child-and-yourself-for-secondary-school/https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/6-months-send-how-emotionally-financially-prepare-your-child-college-ncna850771https://www.thepersonal.com/blog/-/preparing-your-child-for-college-or-university-8-tips-Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?In this interview with Danielle Winton of Memory Strategy we talked about: * Why we should care about memory stategies.* Key things parents can do to support their teens.* How to link a number to music.* Everyone can polish up their memory.* Using your body as a memory palace.* How to help yourself with memorizing names.* Using blurting to check what you remember.* Mind-mapping and memory.* Why to get students to be more creative about learning.For more about parenting teenagers listen to our podcast Teenagers Untangled, or go to the website www.teenagersuntangled.comFor more on improving your memory, and the work of Danielle Winton, go to www.memorystrategy.comSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Snapchat has become a must-have for most teens, because it's now the way they stay in touch with their friends. The filters make it fun, they can see where their friends are on Snapmaps, and the instant photos give them a quick and easy contact point. But one of our listeners has contacted us asking for help with it. She says her teen son was already struggling to control himself when it comes to screens so she's delayed allowing him to have Snapchat, but caved because all of his friends are using it.Now, she says, he is always on a device and easily finds ways around the controls they have been trying to put in place; primarily to access Snapchat.Our previous episode on Screens and Teens covers the ways in which you can tackle it. It's not the amount of screen time we should worry most about, it's what they are doing with their screens.  https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-9-how-to-help-your-teens-manage-their-screen-time-and-talking-to-them-about-healthy-eating-without-giving-them-an-eating-disorder/Rachel’s blog post on handing your teen an device:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/mobile-phones-social-media-and-online-access-what-i-would-do-if-i-had-my-teens-or-tweens-again/Avoiding Tech Addiction - Tips and Tricks taken from Clicks by Natasha Devon.Remember you don't have to be on every app; pick the ones you find most fun and useful, and least toxic.Disable screen notifications.Decide in advance how much time you want to spend playing a game or browsing an app.Find ways to create 'space' between the urge and action of scrolling/gaming.Set a 'digital sunset' (a time when your phone goes in a drawer/on airplane mode) about an hour before you want to go to sleep.BLOG POSTS: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/talking-about-snapchat-without-snapping/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/mobile-phones-social-media-and-online-access-what-i-would-do-if-i-had-my-teens-or-tweens-again/BOOKS:Stolen Focus by Johann HariClicks: How to be your best self online by Natasha DevonRESCOURCES USED:Legal filing  IN THE UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE NORTHERN DISTRICT OF CALIFORNIA https://digitalcommons.law.scu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=3760&context=historical https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-04-18/snSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Boys and men who display a muscular physique that's 'ripped', or 'cut'  get more likes and shares than other accounts on social media, so the algorithms behind the platforms are feeding a strong trend in muscle building amongst teen boys. But who ends up feeding the ravenously hungry, and is it all healthy?  Louise has asked us for help with how to manage feeding her growing lad.  Her son – who’s 17 - goes to the gym to muscle-build five days a week and then expects her to provide him with the foods that go with his lifestyle. With the current financial climate, she says can’t afford to provide him with all the food to match his gym needs.  She expects him to ask if he wants to take food because some of it is earmarked for an evening meal or baking. Sometimes he asks, sometimes he just helps himself. She says they’re continually falling out over this and she'd like some tips on how to deal with it.   The term Bigorexia was raised during my interview with Mike Nicholson from Progressive Masculinity. It's used to describe a particular form of body dysmorphia and controlled eating that's hard to spot, because the people suffering look outwardly super-healthy. It's a growing issue, and little understood, so we decided to use this episode to talk about both problems and give you some ideas for how to tackle them. RESOURCES:  Do you have body dysmorphic disorder? Check here: https://bddfoundation.org/information/do-i-have-bdd-test/  HELP LINES·        https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/·        https://bdd.iocdf.org/·        https://www.itv.com/thismorning/articles/eating-disorder-helplines·         www.suicidepreventionlifeline.orgRESEARCH USED:·        https://www.menshealth.com/fitness/a41133394/bigorexia-muscle-dysmorphia-special-report/·         https://medicalxpress.com/news/2023-02-social-media-linked-symptoms-muscle.html‘The day you start lifting is the day you become forever small’: Bodybuilders explain muscle dysmorphia https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/13634593221093494More Muscles, More “Likes”: The Rise of Bigorexia and How Social Media is Fueling Unhealthy Body Image Among Young Men in Behavioral Health, Clinical, Mental Health EHR, Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?We all loose our cool sometimes. but teenagers can find it particularly challenging to stay calm or calm down when enraged. It takes self-awareness and skill, and a level of brain development that just isn't there for some of them. One listener contacted us for help  with her son who is being goaded by friends at school and getting into trouble for losing his temper. We talk about the brain development stage that makes this so prevalent in teens, and discuss top tips for how she can support him in managing his emotions. www.teenagersuntangled.com EXCELLENT WORKSHEET:https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/coping-skills-angerRESOURCES USED:Yale Medicine. (n.d.). Anger, Irritability and Aggression in Kids. [online] Available at: https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/anger-issues-in-children-and-teens#:~:text=For%20children%2C%20anger%20issues%20often.Myler, C. (2020). Understanding teen boys’ anger. [online] Maggie Dent. Available at: https://www.maggiedent.com/blog/understanding-teen-boys-anger/.‌Russell, D.L. (2023). Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers: A Parent Guide. [online] They Are The Future. Available at: https://www.theyarethefuture.co.uk/anger-management-techniques-for-teenagers/ [Accessed 12 Jun. 2023]‌Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?The term toxic masculinity has been gaining traction, and is often used to talk about the type of masculinity where men use dominance, violence and control to gain power and superiority over others.  There's also been an increase in efforts to educate boys in how to talk more about their feelings. But with the rise of Incels, Andrew Tate, free porn, and pick up artists, you could be forgiven for wondering whether we're really making progress at all. So I contacted Mike Nicholson, Director of a programme called Progressive Masculinity. He goes into schools to talk to boys about masculinity. My key aim was to ask him more about how we as parents can better support our boys to develop a healthy style of masculinity. Mike Nicholson: www.progressivemasculinity.co.ukOther useful episodes on this topic:Andrew Tate and the mansophere: 33Pornography: 13Teen male friendships and the 'man box': 16Great role model: LeBron James - American basketball player, father and philanthropist. Mark Lewis: https://www.marklewis.co.uk/Novak Djokovic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=867mtHTsaDoRole models suggested by Mike:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/progressive-masculinity-and-great-models-for-our-boys/Boys in education:https://www.ted.com/talks/richard_reeves_how_to_solve_the_education_crisis_for_boys_and_men/c?user_email_address=261da4b3403e372197fe941147a78e48Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:www.amindful-life.co.uk