Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 The audio hug for parents of teens and tweens.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?My teen daughter has told me that the fact I am open about my own failings, and quick to apologise, makes it much easier to trust me and to feel safe admitting when she's gone wrong. It's so easy to look back and see our mistakes, or where we might have done things better, but it’s hard to admit to them and forgive ourselves. The truth is, it's incredibly difficult to get it right in the moment. As we discuss in this episode, when it comes to the sliding doors versions of life we can never really know whether a different path would have turned out better. All we can do is to try our best with what we have right now. We've made this episode to help you feel less alone and hopefully some good tips too. Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?When the other parent is inconsistent, or never turns up for your kid, it can be incredibly challenging for both of you. It's hard enough as it is, but can be even more challenging when they are abusing a substance, such as alcohol or drugs. When a listener told us about the difficulty she has parenting a teen son whose absent dad is an alcoholic we thought it was an important subject, and one worthy of discussion. So how do we support a tween or teen in this position? What do we say to them? How do we help them with the feelings they might be having? The National Association for Children of Alcoholics suggests using this mantra:I didn’t cause itI can’t cure itI can’t control itI can care for myself by communicating my feelings, making healthy choices, and by celebrating myself.BACK TO SCHOOL ISSUES:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-34-bunking-wagging-hooky-skiving-or-school-refusal-whatever-you-call-it-too-many-teens-are-doing-it-but-why/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-14-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-and-how-to-set-rules-that-your-teens-will-follow/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/anxiety-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-according-to-renee-mill-senior-clinical-pscychologist/ https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-5-how-do-you-motivate-a-teenager-who-isnt-very-academic-what-to-do-when-your-teenager-says-they-want-to-give-up-their-musical-instrument-or-other-activity/Support:The National Association for Children of Alcoholics https://nacoa.org.uk/https://allthingssimplywindy.com/how-to-deal-with-an-absent-dad/https://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/newjersey-child-parenting-issues/help-children-handle-unreliable-parent/https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/helping-a-child-cope-with-an-absent-parent/https://fathers.com/blog/consistency/what-consistency-looks-like-in-a-dad-5-keys/https://elisabettafranzoso.com/articles/types-of-damaging-fathers-how-they-influence-who-we-arehttps://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-talk-to-children-about-absentee-fathers-2997224https://www.wikihow.com/Help-a-Child-Cope-with-a-No%E2%80%90Show-Parenthttps://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/When-Daddy-Dont-Love-Their-Daughters-What-Happens-to-Women-Whose-Fathers-Werent-There-for-Themhttps://www.joincake.com/blog/death-of-a-father-I-never-knew/https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/my-sons-father-is-inconsistent.4623629/https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/alcohol-abuse/explaining-alcoholism-child/https://www.parentingforbrain.com/parental-rejection/https://www.riversidecounsellingservice.co.uk/2020/06/09/absent-father-identity-issues/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?We're back with the first fresh episode of 2024. What a good time to talk about some of the things we've been reading, listening to, and watching, along with some news stories. Let us know what you think. We're always interested in any feedback; positive or negative, and we'd love to hear from you if you have any great recommendations. teenagersuntangled@gmail.comPodcasts recommended: Mel RobbinsUnpublished Good Bad BillionaireEverything Is FineSearch Engine: Why can't we just turn the empty offices into apartments?TV:Hunger GamesNetflix - Watch World War II: From the FrontlinesBook:Do Hard Things: A teenage rebellion against low expectations by Alex and Brett Harris.Calendar app:TimeTreeSchool:PISA scores: https://www.oecd.org/publication/pisa-2022-results/country-notesEmotionally based school avoidance: https://www.leedsbeckett.ac.uk/student-anxiety-guideSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?We've all done it; new year, new me. By January the 11th the lustre has rubbed off our shiny resolutions and we're back to our old habits. The reality is that making resolutions and getting them to stick is harder than we'd like it to be. So how do we make changes in our parenting and our family in a way that will continue to work after the fireworks and fun?In this podcast:We talk about uncovering the intention behind the resolution. How to unpack those big problems to find a smaller goal to guide you.How to use small habits in your day to make those big changes more easy.And how using positivity can keep us going.Some ideas:Ask your teen what key change they would like to see and don't react badly to the answerFind one on one time with each childDon't text and driveCreate a tech contractCreate a chores contractYell lessListen moreSort out sleep routinesEnd your work dayFind space for youDon't judge out loudLet your teen cook once a weekDon't judge people out loudLet your teen make their mistakes so they learn from themDemonstrate the behaviour you want to seePractice gratitudeBuild a parent tribe of others who're in a similar situationMake time for your partnerGet outside moreSit down to family meals more oftenFind games or activities you can all enjoy togetherResources:Small Move Big Change by Caroline Arnold.https://beenke.com/parenting/parenting-resolutions-you-can-actually-keep/https://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/980167/new-years-resolutions-for-parents-of-teens/https://www.rootsofaction.com/resolutions-that-can-change-your-teens-life/https://hms.harvard.edu/news/uncontrollable-anger-prevalent-among-youthSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Christmas is marketed as a time of magic and joy, but when it comes to your teenagers does it feel more like a time of pressure to deliver expensive gifts - and disappointment? One of our regular listeners has asked us to research and discuss  how to better deal with a teenager's lack of gratitude when things don't live up to their expectations, and our feeling that they don't appreciate what's been done for them.RESOURCES:https://ggsc.berkeley.edu/images/uploads/GGSC-JTF_White_Paper-Gratitude-FINAL.pdfhttps://www.parentingforbrain.com/how-to-deal-with-an-ungrateful-teenager/https://yourteenmag.com/family-life/communication/holiday-disappointment/amphttps://admin.bridesblush.com/trends/ungrateful-christmas-tb/https://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/being-mum-794/tweens-teens-61/1596349-ungrateful-teen-tween.htmlhttps://slate.com/human-interest/2012/12/ungrateful-teens-on-christmas-it-s-time-to-stop-the-generational-internet-shaming.htmlhttps://mamamanages.com/ungrateful-child-problem-solving/https://www.blinkist.com/en/shortcasts/the-happiness-lab/309https://www.blinkist.com/en/app/books/leading-with-gratitude-enSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?It's our two year anniversary, and what a ride it's been! Since we're taking a break to spend time with our families, we thought it would be the perfect time to reflect on what we think are the best things we've learned over the years, and signpost which episodes you might want to listen to again. Key episodes discussed:The blog https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/two-years-on-and-some-of-the-episodes-that-have-impacted-me-most/Talking techniques:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-3-techniques-for-talking-with-your-teenager-and-teenagers-having-sex-in-your-home/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-teenagers-37-our-overreactions-make-us-feel-awful-and-dont-even-achieve-anything-positive-so-what-can-we-do-to-stop-them-from-happening/Consequences:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-32-consequences-and-the-teen-who-doesnt-seem-to-care/Blog on consequences: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/whats-going-on-when-our-boundaries-and-consequences-dont-seem-to-work/Online:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-9-how-to-help-your-teens-manage-their-screen-time-and-talking-to-them-about-healthy-eating-without-giving-them-an-eating-disorder/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-4-protecting-your-tweenteen-from-doing-something-illegal-with-their-phone-camera-aka-sexting-also-how-and-why-you-might-give-your-teen-an-allowance/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-13-why-talking-to-your-teen-about-pornography-is-more-important-now-than-its-ever-been-and-great-ways-to-spend-time-with-your-teen/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-33-boys-online-we-urgently-need-to-talk-about-red-pills-role-models-and-the-manosphere/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/66-online-grooming-how-to-keep-our-teens-and-tweens-safe-how-to-spot-if-your-child-has-fallen-pre/Secondary school and anxiety:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-34-bunking-wagging-hooky-skiving-or-school-refusal-whatever-you-call-it-too-many-teens-are-doing-it-but-why/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-5-how-do-you-motivate-a-teenager-who-isnt-very-academic-what-to-do-when-your-teenager-says-they-want-to-give-up-their-musical-instrument-or-other-activity/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-14-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-and-how-to-set-rules-that-your-teens-will-follow/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/anxiety-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-according-to-renee-mill-senior-clinical-pscychologist/Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?The pandemic saw thousands of children moving online to learn, socialise, and play. Unfortunately, internet predators have followed them there, using highly sophisticated tactics to reach children and coerce them into sexual activities.We were recently contacted by our listener therapist, Frances, who says that she's been dealing with cases of grooming online and thinks it's vital that we discuss the topic.She's right to highlight it. I've been contacted by parents who have confided in me that their teen has fallen victim; both boys and girls. The disturbing nature of their activity has been exposed by Internet Watch Foundation analysts whose job it is to track down and view some of the very worst child sexual abuse material on the internet so it can be removed and blocked. They've seen a massive increase in abuse since lockdown.  The one thing I've learned from all of the research I've been doing is that we are pretty much the only gatekeepers online; the apps constantly duck responsibility. The key watershed is 13, because the internet companies aren't allowed to collect data on people below that age. But that's still incredibly young for most kids to be accessing the sort of things that are online, and often they lie about their age to get apps they aren't legally allowed. We cover how to keep our teens safe, how to spot grooming, and what to do if your kid's a victim.https://www.victimsupport.org.uk/you-co/types-crime/sex-crimes/grooming/#:~:text=It's%20important%20to%20think%20carefully,that%20you%20can%20get%20help.https://www.ceop.police.uk/safety-centre/should-i-make-a-report-to-ceop-yp/The story of Breck, who was lured to his death by a groomer https://www.breckfoundation.org/https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/03/14/us/north-carolina-missing-teen-dallas-found/Documentary series: Undercover Underagehttps://www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/news-opinion/2023/2023-08-14-82-rise-in-online-grooming-crimes-against-children-in-the-last-5-years/#Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?One in eight UK teenagers now suffers from an eating disorder, according to the latest figures from the UK's National Health Service. That's a shocking fifteen-fold increase since before Covid. These disorders are  notoriously sneaky; parents I've spoken to say they creep up on us and it can take a long time to realise what's going on. It's even worse if we focus in on seventeen to nineteen year olds where one in twenty boys  and one in five girls has an eating disorder. In this episode Rachel talks Umairah Malek, the Clinical Coordinator at the UK charity, Beat. She explains what an eating disorder is, what to look out for, and gives some great tips for how to support your loved one through to recovery.  Resources:The EAT-26 is a self-help test that takes just minutes to complete. [1] Mental Health America has a different version with fewer questions. [2]Neither test can diagnose an eating disorder, but they can help you understand if your symptom severity is improving. So taking them, and tracking your scores, could be helpful.The UK's Eating Disorder Charity - Beat (beateatingdisorders.org.uk)www.hopevirgo.comWww.feast-ed.orgFacebook:Eating Disorder Family SupportBooks:www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/downloads-resources/helpful-books/Hadley Freeman, Good Girls: A story and study of anorexia. Netflix:Everything Now - After months in recovery for an eating disorder, 16-year-old Mia devises a bucket list of quintessential teen experiences to make up for lost time.Previous episodes and blog:Blog: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/eating-disorders-the-sneaky-stealth-bomb/Healthy attitudes to eating:9: Screens and teens. Here’s how to help them, and yourself, manage your time. Also can we talk about healthy eating without giving our teens an eating disorder? (teenagersuntangled.com)Support the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?We all want the best for our kids, but there's a tricky balancing act between giving them the freedom to make the mistakes that build resiliency, and stepping in to protect and guide them.There's been a modern shift towards close management of our kids, and a constant eye on academic grades. But it's worth considering how to ensure our desire to support them doesn't end up having unintended consequences; stripping them of their ambition, self advocacy, and desire to tackle things in life that are hard.It's also worth considering how we parents will feel when that all-encompassing role begins to fade and they need to live life independent of us. This episode takes a look at some of the modern styles of parenting, including the benefits and the problems in terms of turning out rounded adults. We also look at steps we can take to increase agency in our older teens in a way that will ease them into adulthood.If you're committed enough to listen to the very end you'll also hear our blooper.RESOURCES USED:Operation Varsity Blues on Netflixhttps://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/what-is-helicopter-parenting/https://www.verywellfamily.com/helicopter-parents-do-they-help-or-hurt-kids-1095041https://www.mongooseresearch.com/blog/bulldozer-parents#:~:text=What's%20a%20bulldozer%20parent%3F,their%20child%20may%20come%20across.https://parentology.com/what-is-bulldozer-parenting/https://www.businessinsider.com/helicopter-how-bulldozer-parents-harm-their-children-2023-6?r=US&IR=TSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Has your kid seen porn? Research says 1 in 3 kids have seen explicit, hardcore porn by the age of 12, many by accident.Whether or not your tween or teen has seen it the fact that hardcore porn is widely available, free, and easily accessed from any device with an internet connection will be having an impact on the whole culture they are growing up in.We want our teens to feel that it's normal and natural to be interested in sex, and want to explore what's out there, but talking about it the modern issues can be a minefield. Whilst we're openly trying to teach our kids about consent, and educate our boys to be respectful of women, what they might be accessing online is the opposite. Much of it is degrading, and objectifying, and normalises potentially dangerous and harmful sexual behaviour.A lot of parents I have spoken with don't know how to have those conversations, so I contacted Dr Mandy Sanchez, from Culture Reframed, an organisation that provides free education resources and worksheets for parents. In this episode she talks about how, and when, to talk about porn with your kid.www.culturereframed.orgwww.teenagersuntangled.comSupport the showThank you so much for your support. Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk