Parenting teenagers untangled. 🏆 Your Weekly Hug

In this insightful discussion, guest Matt Richtel, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author focusing on adolescent development, reveals the complexities of today's teenage mental health crisis. He argues that early puberty paired with overwhelming information leads to anxiety and introspection, coining the term 'Generation Rumination.' Matt shares effective parenting strategies, emphasizing the importance of sleep, in-person interactions, and emotional coping techniques. He encourages validating teens' feelings and fostering curiosity to help them navigate a rapidly changing world.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?To lose a child is one of the worst things any of us an imagine. To lose him at 16 to a recreational drug is an unbearable pain. That's what happened to Fiona Spargo-Mabbs OBE, but she has turned her pain into an incredible quest to turn her 'I wish I'd known', suffering into a book, a drugs education foundation, and support for all of us parents so we never have to go through the pain she has suffered. In this incredible conversation, Fiona discusses the importance of drug education, the prevalence of drug use among youth, and the need for better parental awareness and conversations. She emphasizes the significance of understanding drug effects, the rise of synthetic drugs like spice and THC vapes, and the impact of drug use on mental health and addiction. Fiona also highlights the role of peer influence and the importance of providing youth with positive alternatives to drug use, such as sports and community activities.Fiona Spargo-Mabbs OBE: www.dsmfoundation.org.ukIf you would like more detail, including a printable PDF covering the important lessons of this episode, join The Big Hug community at: teenagersuntangled.substack.comHere are just 10 of the things we discuss in this episode:Most teenagers will face a drug-related decision by age 15, even if they don't use drugs themselvesThe adolescent brain is more vulnerable to drug harm and addiction because it's arleady undergoing to rigorous rewiringModern drugs are significantly stronger and more dangerous than in previous generationsPeer pressure can be positive - teens can help each other make safer choicesHaving pre-planned "escape strategies" and reasons to say no can help teenagers avoid risky situationsConnection and positive activities (sports, music, volunteering) are powerful alternatives to drug useParents should have frequent, short conversations about drugs rather than one big intimidating talkSynthetic drugs like spice can be extremely dangerous, with one in six school vapes potentially containing harmful substancesUnderstanding how drugs actually work in the brain helps teenagers make more informed decisionsThe most effective approach is being a supportive, non-judgmental parent who provides reliable information and creates a safe space for honest conversationsSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?For this Sunday catch up I was joined by Susie Asli to discuss the challenges of parenting during times of personal loss, such as the death of a pet or a parent. We share our experiences of our children’s different reactions to grief and the importance of allowing them to grieve in their own ways. We also talk about the transition to university, the generational differences in parenting, and the importance of respecting teenagers’ independence.I introduced a new app called Foqos, which helps manage device usage, and emphasised the need for parents to model good behavior and maintain open communication with their children.Full episode links, and other details, will be available to Substack subscribersteenagersuntangled.substack.comSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Sleep's a FREE performance-enhancer, so why are so many teens not getting enough?For us parents, sleep is the thing we all obsess about when we first bring our babies home, but if you're anything like me by the time they hit teens we've become pretty lax around that solid bedtime routine. In fact, research shows that around 2/3rds of teenagers aren't getting adequate sleep.Why does this happen? In my case, I was exhausted from years of implementing a solid routine and they had become more interesting, so I wanted to spend more time with my kids in the evening. They were also busy doing other things; sports, socialising, homework.Mostly, I think it's not a goal we target or brag about, so it becomes the silent victim of our busy lives.That's why I decided it was time to talk to an expert (and parent who's navigated this) on sleep.In this conversation Jessica Bryant of the Better Sleep Council helps us parents really think about our family attitude to sleep, how to support our teens in getting the amount they need, and to problem-solve your struggles.Thanks to all of you lovely listeners who sent in your questions.Jessica Bryant Sleep Happy Consultinghttps://www.sleephappyconsulting.com/The original sleep episode:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/sleep-the-free-fix-for-our-teens-with-no-side-effects/RESEARCH: Showed insufficient sleep on an average school night was reported by 68.9% of students. It was associated with higher odds of current use of cigarettes, marijuana, current sexual activity, seriously considered attempting suicide, feeling sad or hopeless, physical fighting, not being physically active:https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21843548/Cross-national variations in adolescent sleep patters:https://www.researchgate.net/publication/375375396_Cross-National_Variations_in_Adolescent_Sleep_Patterns_A_Time-Use_Study?utm_source=chatgpt.comSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Whatever food fears we've inherited, or learned, will be passed on to our kids unless we understand and challenge our beliefs, according to food psychologist, Dr Anna Colton. As she rightly points out, fear-mongering about killer bars or toxic foods is way more dangerous, long-term, than the food itself.In this episode we talk openly about my own struggles with my family's attitude to food, and Dr Colton explains in detail why it's way better to prevent our kids developing issues than it is to deal with the terrifying results of an eating disorder.As she says: 'Eating disorders really do kill.'She wants to help us parents raise a generation that trusts their bodies and enjoys food without guilt, fear or shame.In this episode we talk about how to:Recognize early signs of disordered eatingSpeak neutrally about food and body imageProtect your children from harmful diet culture messagingUnderstand the complex factors behind eating disordersCreate a supportive home environment that promotes healthy eating habitsThe shocking study that proved anorexia is cause by weight loss.Whether you're parenting teens, tweens, or younger children, this episode offers practical strategies to help your kids develop a positive relationship with food and their bodies. Dr. Colton's expert advice will empower you to break generational cycles of unhealthy attitudes about eating and self-image.Dr Anna Coltonhttps://www.dranna.co.ukhttps://www.instagram.com/the_food_psychologist/BOOKS:  How to Talk to Children about Food by Dr Anna ColtonAnorexia and Other Eating Disorders: How to Help Your Child Eat Well and be Well by Eva MusbyGood Girl by Hadley FreemanEPISODES:Body image: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/body-image-and-chores-helping-teenagers-to-develop-a-positive-body-image-also-getting-your-teena/Healthy Eating:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/screens-and-teens-heres-how-to-help-them-and-yourself-manage-your-time-also-can-we-talk-about-h/Bigorexia: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/feeding-your-teen-control-issues-and-bigorexia/Does my teen need to lose weight: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/diet-does-my-teen-need-to-lose-weight-how-to-navigate-diet-culture-with-elyse-resch/Eating Disorders: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/eating-disorders-an-interview-with-beat-representative-umairah-malik-what-we-parents-need-to-know/Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?Is your kid stressed or lacking motivation? What if the antidote was pushing them less and giving them more of a sense of control over their lives? It doesn't mean giving up your authority as a parent. As elite teen coach, Ned Johnson, explains the science tells us we can help our child sculpt a brain that is resilient, and ready to take on new challenges if we stop taking over.In his practice he uses science, behavioural therapy and extensive case studies to offer help kids who're struggling with stress, anxiety, or lack of motivation.His mantra is that as parents, we need to get out of our kids' way. We can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take control over their own path and our job is to help them develop the skills to do that. Introducing technology to teenagers: My Substack Big Hug GuideLearned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neurosciencehttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4920136/Failure to Launch: Ken Rabow https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/failure-to-launch-what-we-can-learn-from-struggling-young-adults-about-how-to-help-our-teens/Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by Dr. John Ratey.The Tech Exit book: https://www.sheldonpress.co.uk/titles/clare-morell/the-tech-exit/9781399828208/Never Enough book: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough10-25: The Science of Motivating Young People: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/Intrinsic Motivation and Positive Development: Reed Larson https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23259190/Default Mode Network:  https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26168472/Ned on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theothernedjohnson/video/7005943445646855429?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1&lang=enSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?We all want our kids to feel they belong and have purpose, but what simple things can we do at home and in schools that will help them develop what they need?In this interview you'll hear so many great tips we can put in place at home that will help our kids thrive. In 2007, Tish co-founded Jamie’s Farm with her son Jamie, a teacher and farmer.LINK: https://jamiesfarm.org.uk/people/tish-feilden/The residential visits for disadvanteged kids, who are disengaged or disruptive at school, give them experience of eating as a family around a table, setting aside their digital devices, and creating a structure for positive recognition of those around them. Since its founding, Jamie’s Farm has supported over 16,000 young people across six farms in the UK and delivered significant, lasting improvement to young people’s social and emotional health as well as school attendance and attainment. Tish has background as a foster parent and teacher, she went on to build a 30-year career as a psychotherapist, including working  with teenagers, families, and the supervision of school counsellors.Tish Fieldon's 10 Transformative Tips for Parents and Teachers Understand the Teenage BrainRecognize that teenagers operate differently from adultsAvoid logical lectures - they rarely workRedirect energy positively instead of shutting down natural curiosityCreate Meaningful ConnectionHave regular family meals togetherMake time for genuine conversationsPractice "check-ins" where everyone shares how they're feelingLimit TechnologySet clear boundaries with phonesCreate phone-free zones and timesPrioritize SleepEnsure teenagers get adequate restEstablish consistent bedtime routinesUnderstand sleep is crucial for brain development and emotional regulationEmbrace NatureEncourage outdoor activitiesTake walks togetherExplore local trails and green spacesFoster PurposeGive teenagers meaningful tasksInvolve them in community projectsHelp them feel they're contributingCelebrate their achievementsPractice Positive ReinforcementFocus on strengthsGive genuine complimentsDo "shout-outs" recognizing good qualitiesLearn from positives, not just correctionCreate Safe Spaces for CommunicationBe authenticShare your own experiencesListen without judgmentMake conversations feel naturalTeach Life SkillsDiscuss practical adulting topicsCook togetherBuild confidence through praSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

Conflict is a natural part of parenting teens, but mastering resolution skills can transform it into a bonding opportunity. The importance of assertive communication and understanding emotions takes center stage. Techniques like LUFU encourage active listening, fostering deeper connections. The podcast emphasizes that navigating disagreements with empathy and respect can strengthen family ties. Practical tips on using text messages for important discussions and teaching negotiation skills empower teens for future conflicts. Strategies for handling differing opinions are also explored.

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?FREE GUIDE: HOW TO THINK THROUGH DEVICE USE FOR YOUR TEENShttps://open.substack.com/pub/teenagersuntangled/p/teens-and-screens-the-big-hug-teenagersSmartphones can be massively problematic in the hands of the young, mainly because of what kids can access through them. Social media can have a magnetic pull for adolescents who're trying to figure out their identity and fit in, meanwhile predators are well aware of the various access points provided.So are there any positives? Is it even justifiable to give our kids a smartphone, and at what age is it suitable? My teens have very kindly agreed to chat openly about their experiences, both the good and bad, to give us parents a chance to think through our own approach. We now know so much more now about the issues phones and social media raise, and I hope this conversation helps you by reducing guilt and encouraging you to engage with the issue by thinking clearly about your own values and the individual children you have. NOTE: My daughter has been diagnosed with ADHD, which is why she has strong opinions on the subject. In this episode we explore the pros and cons of social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, with one of my daughters explaining why Snapchat is particularly stressful due to streaks and friendships.  https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/snapchat-a-fantastic-way-to-connect-or-a-cynical-exploitation-of-your-teenagers-time/What comes through clearly is the importance of parental involvement, setting boundaries, and understanding the impact of social media on mental health and friendships. We give you the good and bad: From predator problems, self-image issues, political echo chambers, misinformation, AI and a lengthy digital footprint, sleep issues, and stress... To opportunities for minorities to find support and perspectives that differ from those in their school, ways to find role models, language to describe their experiences, creative outlets and ideas about fashion and style. OTHER EPISODES:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/screen-time-for-tweens-and-teens-the-latest-on-what-works-and-what-doesnt/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/bikini-photos-why-are-girls-posting-bikini-pics-and-what-should-we-say-about-them/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/112-boys-looks-and-masculinity-on-social-media-the-hard-and-soft-of-looksmaxxing/Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?When things go wrong at school parents are bound to feel stressed, wanting the problem to be resolved as soon as possible. But - in the UK at least - the current complaints system is "working for no one", according to the Government's Education Secretary.Jason Elsom, CEO of charity Parentkind, says there's been a surge in parental complaints, that are being amplified via WhatsApp: Quoted in The Times“We are seeing a tsunami of parental complaints. It is never right to name and shame a school or engage in a WhatsApp pile-on, but schools need to make sure they have thought through how they engage parents to nip issues in the bud.”The charity Parentkind found in a poll of 2,000 parents that 38% had filed a formal school complaint in the past year, with the total number of complaints exceeding five million in just one year.Common areas of concern included bullying, student safety, school discipline and behaviour policies, homework, and teacher conduct.Elsom says says Parents are under enormous pressure with a cost-of-living crisis and ever increasing challenges at home, which sometimes spills over into the classroom, with parents complaining to schools about what they are hearing from their children and on WhatsApp groups.“Meanwhile nearly two thirds, or 65%, of school leaders say parental complaints increased during the 2023/24 academic year in a survey by UK and Ireland law firm Browne Jacobson. Nine in 10 (90%) believe complaints-handling is having a detrimental impact on staff wellbeing, with other knock-on effects cited including the quality of education being delivered (53%) and staff retention (48%).Melanie Sanderson, GOOD SCHOOLS GUIDE: https://www.goodschoolsguide.co.uk/SOURCE: https://www.brownejacobson.com/BrowneJacobson/media/Media/education/SLS-findings-Spring-2024.pdfSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.com Find me on Substack Teenagersuntangled.substack.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk